I'm hearing loads of "mehs" and "blehs" in response to the new Transformers flick, but I dunno...you've gotta go into it without the expectation that this was made for Transfans, because it simply wasn't. There are millions of Transformers fans, certainly, but there's a big difference between someone who remembers those cooool transforming cars and someone who remembers that Autobot Seaspray talked funny and once had a human girlfriend. The movie was NOT made for the latter type of fan, because there are not enough of those fans to support a gigantic motion picture.
My take: With or without the Transformers ties, a big budget summer flick featuring robot cars pounding the shit out of robot airplanes is probably more worth seeing than debating. The fact that it has those ties is just gravy for those of us who care. Not saying it'll be great, but unlike the Star Wars prequels, I'm not going to walk into the theater feeling like I'm owed what I wished for.
This is how I help myself hedge expectations when people tell me that it's less a movie about Transformers and more a movie about John Turturro making balloon animals.
It's with that perfect segue that I inform you of my latest ToyFare gig -- I'm in issue #120, which is an all Transformers blowout, with a page-long feature about Transformers: The Movie. Not the new one. The old one. The one that's animated. The one with a reverbing Wheelie. Read about the five best moments in the movie, along with sidebars on "Scramble City" and the age old dream battle of Unicron versus the Death Star. Looks like they had to chop out some copy to make space, but so long as the byline stands and the check clears, I'll head into tomorrow just as convictionless as before.
I have to admit, I'm pretty pumped about the Summer Megaparty. (See the previous entry if you don't know what in the fuck I'm talking about.) I've spent most of the night spinning in my chair, looking around my junkyard office for different things to write about. Then I thought about how I could hop in my car with my laptop, drive down the street and review the neighbor's weird lawn ornaments. X-E became whatever it became, but it was built on the freedom to turn anything into content. I'm psyched.
I'll probably let tomorrow slide without a new entry so we can enter the Megaparty cleanly, and knowing that, maybe it's a good time for a survey.
In the comments, list five of your weirdest quirks. Don't fake it. Think about the weird stuff you do, whether it paints you gold or black, and tell the world. Or at least, tell the small part of the world that sifts through comments on my blog. Here's five of mine:
- I love V8 juice, but I hate drinking it whenever someone else is in the room. When I'm alone, I have visions of the Juiceman and of beautiful beds of tomatoes and parsley. When my concentration breaks, all I can think about is how there must be bits of soil and worms somewhere in the juice.
- I can write just as quickly upside-down and backwards as I can the standard way. Hard to explain, but picture me leaning across the table and writing you a note. You wouldn't have to flip the paper over to read it. I'm very proud of this.
- I cannot tie shoelaces. I never learned how. I have trouble with most knots, but shoelaces especially. I rarely buy sneakers for this reason.
- I have absolutely no appreciation for music. I've listened to the same dozen or so artists/groups for the last decade. Nothing else can get in the rotation and I have no idea why.
- I'm left-handed, but unlike most left-handers, I've never been able to learn how to use scissors with my right hand. It makes me feel contorted. Thus, I'm very poor at cutting things out with scissors. Perhaps I should invest in a specialty scissor.
Your turn!
Posted by Matt on 06/18/2007. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
. I also think it was an only child thing: I had many imaginary worlds and scenarios that I created. The biggest was the universe my Legos lived in; the entire house became a planet, each room a country, so on and so forth. And all my toy lines had to have a reason for being around, like the Autobots’ purpose was to protect the Lego people from the Decepticons. And there was always some huge all inclusive back story that tied it all together.
I havn’t posted in close to a year or so, but I just coulldn’t pass this one up.
1. I have an illogical fear/displeasure of cotton balls. I cannot take the cotton out of medicine bottles, nor can I stand when anyone is holding it around me. It makes me curl my lips around my teeth and I speak in a strange way, and I have absolutely no control over it. I also break out in gooseflesh all over my body at the mere mention of cotton. In fact this was very hard to write.
2. I am either allergic to or highly sensitive to vanilla purfumes and scented candles. Any fake vanilla scent will cause me to immediately stuff up. My eyes swell shut and my throat closes. In stores where these things are on display, I have to avoid. If I have to but make-up, I will have my husband or daughter scout to make sure that there is no purfume near it lest I encounter the vanilla beasts. Contrary to this, I can eat any food that contains vanilla flavoring, without the slightest problem.
3. I eat the chocolate off of three-muskateers bars before I eat the center. It takes me close to an hour of careful chocolate removal before I will eat the soft creamy interior. Likewise I eat the chocolate and caramel off of twix bars before the cookie. This often causes problems with my spouse.
4. I know every scene, line, phrase, and pause of the movie National Lampoons Vacation, even though I have no special love of it. I still haven’t figured out why this is, but if I were asked to do so right this minute I could give a beginning to end exact detail of the entire movie including what is in each scene and what each actor is wearing.
5. I can NOT stand to have more than one noise making device on at once. My husband can listen to music, download things off of the internet and watch television all at the same time. This drives me to total and utter insanity to the point where I will leave my house and go for a walk even if its the middle of the night. Likewise if someone is speaking to me I will turn off whatever I am watching or listening to because the two noises together make me feel psychotic. Rarely will I turn the radio on in the car if someone is riding with me because I know we will be speaking to each other the whole time.
*Bonus: I love any kind of plain pasta with ketchup, butter, salt and pepper on it. It is quite possibly my favorite meal.