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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

New ToyFare gig, plus QUIRKY SURVEY!

I'm hearing loads of "mehs" and "blehs" in response to the new Transformers flick, but I dunno...you've gotta go into it without the expectation that this was made for Transfans, because it simply wasn't. There are millions of Transformers fans, certainly, but there's a big difference between someone who remembers those cooool transforming cars and someone who remembers that Autobot Seaspray talked funny and once had a human girlfriend. The movie was NOT made for the latter type of fan, because there are not enough of those fans to support a gigantic motion picture.

My take: With or without the Transformers ties, a big budget summer flick featuring robot cars pounding the shit out of robot airplanes is probably more worth seeing than debating. The fact that it has those ties is just gravy for those of us who care. Not saying it'll be great, but unlike the Star Wars prequels, I'm not going to walk into the theater feeling like I'm owed what I wished for.

This is how I help myself hedge expectations when people tell me that it's less a movie about Transformers and more a movie about John Turturro making balloon animals.


It's with that perfect segue that I inform you of my latest ToyFare gig -- I'm in issue #120, which is an all Transformers blowout, with a page-long feature about Transformers: The Movie. Not the new one. The old one. The one that's animated. The one with a reverbing Wheelie. Read about the five best moments in the movie, along with sidebars on "Scramble City" and the age old dream battle of Unicron versus the Death Star. Looks like they had to chop out some copy to make space, but so long as the byline stands and the check clears, I'll head into tomorrow just as convictionless as before.

I have to admit, I'm pretty pumped about the Summer Megaparty. (See the previous entry if you don't know what in the fuck I'm talking about.) I've spent most of the night spinning in my chair, looking around my junkyard office for different things to write about. Then I thought about how I could hop in my car with my laptop, drive down the street and review the neighbor's weird lawn ornaments. X-E became whatever it became, but it was built on the freedom to turn anything into content. I'm psyched.

I'll probably let tomorrow slide without a new entry so we can enter the Megaparty cleanly, and knowing that, maybe it's a good time for a survey.

In the comments, list five of your weirdest quirks. Don't fake it. Think about the weird stuff you do, whether it paints you gold or black, and tell the world. Or at least, tell the small part of the world that sifts through comments on my blog. Here's five of mine:

  • I love V8 juice, but I hate drinking it whenever someone else is in the room. When I'm alone, I have visions of the Juiceman and of beautiful beds of tomatoes and parsley. When my concentration breaks, all I can think about is how there must be bits of soil and worms somewhere in the juice.
  • I can write just as quickly upside-down and backwards as I can the standard way. Hard to explain, but picture me leaning across the table and writing you a note. You wouldn't have to flip the paper over to read it. I'm very proud of this.
  • I cannot tie shoelaces. I never learned how. I have trouble with most knots, but shoelaces especially. I rarely buy sneakers for this reason.
  • I have absolutely no appreciation for music. I've listened to the same dozen or so artists/groups for the last decade. Nothing else can get in the rotation and I have no idea why.
  • I'm left-handed, but unlike most left-handers, I've never been able to learn how to use scissors with my right hand. It makes me feel contorted. Thus, I'm very poor at cutting things out with scissors. Perhaps I should invest in a specialty scissor.

Your turn!

Posted by Matt on 06/18/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 381 comments

It is beyond awesome that we all have so much in common that would normally go unsaid. Little Miss and Mr.Men rule.

More i haven’t seen that i had to add (and maybe more later…)

If a french fry has a green spot or an unsightly black spot/hole in it, i will throw the french fry away from disgust.
If i order a cheeseburger and the cheese is not melted, i am immediately grossed out.
Also, I cannot eat a burger on regular bread/toast.

Chestnuts roasted by IAmSeekingTheWay @ 06/21/2007 7:51 AM


Is it bad that I was sitting here and realized a quirk I have and had to immediately coe to this site to document it? (And is this now a quirk?)

Listening to the radio, I had to clap along to the part in a song wear there are hand claps. I relized that I have been doing this for a while and feel odd if I don’t clap along when I know they (the claps) are there. I should have realized this when my husband was making fun of me when we saw the video for John Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane” the other night.

Cookiemonstr- I kick so much ass at the game Scene It, that friends argue over whose team I am on when we play. It’s quite an ego boost. I have one friend that won’t play if we end up on opposing teams. I guess that period of movie obsession has paid off in some way.

Chestnuts roasted by Heather @ 06/21/2007 9:06 AM


And rereading my post just now, I see way too many spelling errors. Arrrrrgh.

Chestnuts roasted by Heather @ 06/21/2007 9:08 AM


1. I can’t watch “Ghost Hunters” or read “Weird NJ” (two of my favorite things) when i am alone, or if it is dark out (even if someone is in the house with me). i have the most insanely overactive imagination and i start believing that there are ghosts and such in my house. This, all despite the fact that i am a HUGE horror fam (my AIM screen name is HorrorChick86, if any of you are bored!!!). The movies don’t bother me, but GH and WNJ TERRIFY me!!!

2. I can cook anything you want, except for rice. For some reason, it always comes out too hard or totally sticky. I follow the instructions diligently, but it never works. rice hates me.

3. Like Ryane, I can’t whistle. that has always bothered me.

4. I’m quite catty towards the girls in my group of friends, and i love to call the crazy ones bipolar — even though i am actually bipolar. nobody knows because i’m in control of it now, and it makes me feel better that people think that someone ELSE is crazy.

5. I’m a huge stickler for proper grammar and manners. I’ll say please and thank you a million times, even at Burger King. it freaks people out sometimes.

Chestnuts roasted by ToonasaurusRex @ 06/21/2007 10:07 AM


I hate watching people play video games because they’re never as thorough or logical as I would be and it drives me nuts. If I’m trying to help someone along or teach them how to play or do something else, like on a computer, I get a really rude tone because I start thinking “what an idiot!” and that shows through in how I talk to them. I have a hard time accepting that people operate with different levels of logic and ability from myself.

Heights weird me out. I don’t like being on a balcony or roof near the edge because even though I’m not suicidal, all I can think is “what would it be like to jump?” and I get this strange urge to spontaneously DO IT! even though I don’t want to at all. I can’t get too close to an edge that doesn’t have at least some wall or railing unless I’m safely on my stomach to look over and in no danger of falling. But at the same time, I’m about fearless when it comes to climbing things or being up high if I have a harness or am strapped in, like on a roller coaster.

If I’m riding a bike, I do this thing where I have to balance and clap my hands, and what’s worse is that I have to do it until it feels perfectly symmetrical and “right.” Total OCD, even though I’ve never been diagnosed officially. I also have this thing about symmetry, even in my thoughts. Like I’ll be thinking of patterns or playing some beat over in my head, and it has to feel right before it can end. And sometimes I eat things in fives, whether I’m counting individuals or servings, like if I’m eating M&Ms or pretzels…I have to take an odd number, like 3 or 5, and if I do, it has to have some symmetry where all the portions are the same size OR the middle portion is the biggest, as if there’s a lead-in and lead-out to the center portion.

I’m super afraid of being buried alive or being restrained. I think about it and it drives me nuts. On a similar note, I tend to psych myself out a lot by thinking through a scenario to the point that it upsets me. Like every now and then, I think through a scenario where I lose a pet or family member to the point that my eyes start tearing up and I have to stop thinking about it.

I have a hard time letting go of things, especially if they have the smallest amount of sentimental value, even used up gift cards that were actually gifts.

Fistpittingnork: I’m the same way about darkness sometimes. My parents’ house has a basement and the light switch for the room is at the bottom of the stairs but on the wall around the corner. Every time I turned off the lights, I had to do it while on the stairs by reaching my hand around the wall and then bolt up the stairs. It always scared the shit out of me because I just knew that as soon as that room went dark, something was going to grab me from around the corner, even if the stairwell was lit.

Chestnuts roasted by petrie @ 06/21/2007 10:17 AM


Oh, I also have the same spelling problems, even though I used to be the best speller in my class in school. I can target the words I have problems with, but I cannot for the life of me commit their correct spellings to memory. This goes for anything ending in -ence or -ance. Strangely, I developed this problem while majoring in engineering in college and my friend told me “all engineers are bad spellers” and I told her I was the exception because I’ve always been good at it. The only reason I can remember how to spell “separate” is because I saw it misspelled as “seperate” in print on a restaurant sign back in November. I only knew it was misspelled because my boss pointed it out to me, so now I have that image association to help me remember. But it’s fading, and I’m forgetting again. I always question whether there’s two r’s in “surprise”, too, no matter how many times I spell the word out.

Chestnuts roasted by petrie @ 06/21/2007 10:34 AM


I only just realized this one recently, because my husband started laughing at me for it.

10.) Whenever I hear a sound that I like, it could be any sound, such as a car horn or a door or a beeping noise, I have to immediately immitate that sound. It’s just one of those things that makes my day.

Chestnuts roasted by Toffeecake @ 06/21/2007 10:48 AM


1. After passing someone in the hallway at work, I make funny faces. I have been caught a couple of times, but I just can’t stop.

2. I am an extremely picky eater. I will eat Beef, Chicken, Pork, Potatoes, Corn, and JUNK. I eat no veggies or fruits. I eat all sandwiches and burgers plain.

3. I can eat anything off a plate as it’s supposed to be eaten, but as soon as the plate’s put on the counter or the sink for washing, I hate touching the food.

4. I will only eat red or orange popsicles. I will NEVER eat a purple one…no matter the flavor.

5. I can only eat even numbers of things. I can’t have 5 M&Ms, it would have to be 4 or 6. If I have an extra, I throw it away.

Chestnuts roasted by Jen @ 06/21/2007 11:17 AM


I like to think that by not watching American Idol or going to see the latest big summer movie i’m somehow sticking it to the hollywood bigshots,yet i know i’m not affecting them at all.

i dwell on the fact that after i die all the stuff i have will end up being thrown into a huge furnace like at the end of Citizen Kane.

I’m glad i’m not the only one here who can’t get into new music. i only buy new stuff by bands i like that have been around for years(currently waiting for the new Bad Religion album)

Chestnuts roasted by TheGrid @ 06/21/2007 11:49 AM


long time listener, first time caller (sound the wacky horn!)

My quirks:

i) I cannot, cannot, cannot eat pasta with red sauce on it. I just hate the texture of the mixed substances. I will eat lasagna if it’s basically burned and crispy. bleh. just grated cheese on pasta for me, if I even eat it at all.

ii) I hate seaweed. I get totally freaked and panicky when in the ocean if the tiniest bit of seaweed touches me. I’m also a 6′, 250 pound guy who regularly works out and blah blah so it looks really goofy and makes me really self conscious.

iii) I air-musician uncontrollably. I play actual drums and guitar, but i’ll play the entire song on various air instruments. I’ll be in the car riding along switching between cool drum fills, piano licks, guitar lines, etc. I look totally goofy but I can’t stop myself.

iv) I am obsessed with the color blue and black. My car is blue, 90% of my clothing is blue or black. and from old navy, but that’s a different story.

v) I used to eat cheeseburgers from mcdonalds in an unique fashion. I’d eat the top bun, then the bottom bun, in which i’d stuff a few french fries to enjoy the greasy goodness. then i’d take another, more well cooked fry and scrape off the condiments and cheese and eat those. then i’d roll the burger patty up with some fries and eat that section. I no longer do this because it grosses people out and I have to fight the desire do revert back to old ways.

vi) I love mustard. on chicken, fries, pizza, whatever. give me mustard or give me death!

vii) I am a huge fan of progressive rock, specifically the sound of stuff from the 70′s. I just love the production and wish I could go back to record some music in that time frame. I legitimally think I was accidentally born 20 years too late.

viii) I will be in the shower…and close my eyes and pray/wish/hope that when I open them i’ll be back in my body…but it’ll be like 15 years ago. Same brain/conscience but back in 1990 or something. it’s bizarre, I know. I just want a 2nd chance to do some things over….but i only think it’ll work in the shower, for whatever reason. haha.

oh and not my quirk specifically, but my sister, mom and grandmother dunk their pizza into iced coffee and eat it. I cannot be grossed out any more. Oh and my dad, instead of milk uses coffee with cereal. bleh.

Chestnuts roasted by icepick3383 @ 06/21/2007 12:50 PM


I know we’re winding down, but I just spent hours reading everyone else’s, dammit, and I want to participate!

1. I have trichotillomania, though mild. I don’t pull out the hair on my head (I do twirl it) but I have an abnormal fascination for the hair on my arms, eyebrows, and eyelashes. When I was younger, before I got it under control, I would have big bald batches where my eyebrows should go. It was awful.

2. Like some people hear music in their head, I am constantly typing in my head. I have visions of hands on a keyboard, and will type out not only what I see but what I hear as well (while I’m watching tv, for example). On the plus side, I type SUPER fast with all this practice (well over 100 wpm) but on the negative side, sometimes I can’t stop myself and end up not paying attention to what I’m seeing/hearing.

3. I make weird noises to show affection. Like a humming, purring sound. I think it started when I was a kid. Luckily, hubby is pretty understanding.

4. When something awful or good happens to someone I know, I visualize how it would affect me. Not what would happen if the same thing happened to me. More like, how are other people going to react when I tell them about what happened? It’s confusing, but I think it has to do with the narcissism we were discussing earlier. Like, if someone’s aunt has cancer or something, I’ll sort of zone out on what the person is saying and wonder how other people would respond when I tell them this person’s aunt has cancer. Dunno.

5. I get scared visually or auditorally (so not a word) and have to cope appropriately. So I can listen to a scary movie and not be scared if I don’t see the images or I can watch a scary movie and not be scared if I can’t hear the music/sound effects. If I’m in a theater, I put my hand over my eyes and will only “watch” the bottom part of the screen and if I’m at home, I will mute it and only read the closed captioning. Otherwise I’m very prone to nightmares and/or paranoia.

Matt, does the fact that you hate celebrating birthdays explain the fact that to this day I have no idea if you’ve gotten any of my birthday presents?? It’s been four years now! Ha ha.

Chestnuts roasted by purplegirl247 @ 06/21/2007 1:06 PM


icepick, that pizza and iced coffee thing is possibly the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard of. Ugh!

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 06/21/2007 1:25 PM


Annette…tell me about it. I honestly have to get up and leave the table when they do that. I don’t know why it started or why it continues…*barf*

Chestnuts roasted by icepick3383 @ 06/21/2007 1:34 PM


Man, I’ve been sitting here at work reading this thread FOREVER…

Here’s my five:

1) I can only sleep at night in my boxer shorts, on my belly. I simply cannot sleep if I have actual clothing on, but I also cannot sleep nude. Very strange. I also MUST be on my stomach, usually hanging off the edge of the mattress.

2) As I get older, I find it harder and harder to eat hot dogs. They freak me the hell out. Sometimes I can eat a kosher dog, but even that has gotten more difficult.

3) It makes me really, really mad that the government says I can get messed-up off of alchohol, but nothing else. That makes no sense.

4) I don’t like people that I don’t know asking me a lot of personal questions. It always seems rude to me.

5) I look like the squarest dude around, but still consider myself pretty punk, even now that I’m in my 30′s. I still rage my ass off, but now I own the house that I do it in.

Chestnuts roasted by Pepes @ 06/21/2007 1:56 PM


1. For many years I used to mentally narrate every little thing I or the people around me said or did. This continued well into my teens. I still do it occasionally.

2. I’ve made an effort to mix this up a little bit lately, but for my whole life my food must be eaten in this order: meat, pasta/potatoes/other starchy side dish, vegetables.

3. If I make sandwiches on sliced bread (as opposed to using rolls or whatever) I eat each half in five very specifically-placed bites. Two out of the center, then the smaller side, then I peel the remaining crust off, then I eat what’s left.

4. I don’t listen to music. Ever. Unless I’m in the car with someone who has music on.

5. I hate the sensation of brushing my teeth. It gives me shivers up and down my spine.

Chestnuts roasted by Molly @ 06/21/2007 2:04 PM


Holy comments….too many to read, so I just read the last one. And damn Molly, you are weird.

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 06/21/2007 2:33 PM


lmao! i think molly just might be a little ocd ;)

Chestnuts roasted by dallasmovie @ 06/21/2007 2:41 PM


Ok, I just read through a few more and I have a correction….damn, we are ALL weird!

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 06/21/2007 2:42 PM


And, I am a closet-Pokemon addict.

(Legendary Pokemon: Mewtwo, Zapdos, Moltres, Lugia, umm… Unown? [do they count?] Regirock, regiice, Registeel, Rayquaza.)

Crane games are awesome.

Anyone elese here a closet Pokemon addict?

Chestnuts roasted by Ian @ 06/21/2007 3:12 PM


lol yea i just read through them too some crazy stuff on here..

ok i’ll admit a couple.. it really annoys me when guys wear sandals or especially flip flops, i would prefer if only (attractive) females expose their feet in public

i can’t stand walking on grass or dirty surfaces, but this is mostly cuz i like to keep my shoes clean. i could be wearing a pair that are a year or two old and most people will think they’re still brand new

i can’t relax in social situations without loud music or some type of noise. sitting in a quiet room with other people sometimes kinda freaks me out.. when movies go on for long amounts of time without any music or musical score it really bothers me

Chestnuts roasted by dallasmovie @ 06/21/2007 3:16 PM


1) I have a increasingly irrational fear of people touching my neck. Watching other people touch their own neck makes me want to throw up. Seeing people have their throats slashed in the picture shows keeps up for hours at night. Oh the fear.

2)Those mannequin heads they display wigs on creep me right out.

3)I think everyone on the bus can read my mind. This has been proven cause sometimes people look at me while I’m making fun of them in my head. It’s never been disproven cause they’re sneaky.

4)I can’t concentrate on friend’s conversations if there is loud music or other people talking. I here every word and they all blur into one sentence, none of it makes sense.

5)Brushing my teeth wakes me up which makes going to bed hard.

Chestnuts roasted by pant factor crimson @ 06/21/2007 4:13 PM


Ian, you forgot Mew. I finally gave in 6 years after selling all my Pokemon paraphernalia and bought Pokemon Pearl last week.

Chestnuts roasted by Toffeecake @ 06/21/2007 5:22 PM


Anyone elese here a closet Pokemon addict?
Addict? Yes. Closet? No.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/21/2007 9:40 PM


I always miss the good parties. :(

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 06/21/2007 10:37 PM


Heather- Whenever my family all gets together to play games my older brother always…ALWAYS makes it guys vs. girls. The girls kick butt almost every time. I am a serious trivia junkie, so that helps. Lol.

I thought of another one too:

6.) When I was in 4th grade I had “together” on my spelling test and I had a hard time remembering how to spell it and my older sister taught me the trick of breaking words down, so now every time I write/type “together” in my mind I say to get her.

I may think of more later too… :-)

Chestnuts roasted by Cookiemonstr @ 06/21/2007 11:08 PM


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