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New ToyFare gig, plus QUIRKY SURVEY!

I'm hearing loads of "mehs" and "blehs" in response to the new Transformers flick, but I dunno...you've gotta go into it without the expectation that this was made for Transfans, because it simply wasn't. There are millions of Transformers fans, certainly, but there's a big difference between someone who remembers those cooool transforming cars and someone who remembers that Autobot Seaspray talked funny and once had a human girlfriend. The movie was NOT made for the latter type of fan, because there are not enough of those fans to support a gigantic motion picture.

My take: With or without the Transformers ties, a big budget summer flick featuring robot cars pounding the shit out of robot airplanes is probably more worth seeing than debating. The fact that it has those ties is just gravy for those of us who care. Not saying it'll be great, but unlike the Star Wars prequels, I'm not going to walk into the theater feeling like I'm owed what I wished for.

This is how I help myself hedge expectations when people tell me that it's less a movie about Transformers and more a movie about John Turturro making balloon animals.


It's with that perfect segue that I inform you of my latest ToyFare gig -- I'm in issue #120, which is an all Transformers blowout, with a page-long feature about Transformers: The Movie. Not the new one. The old one. The one that's animated. The one with a reverbing Wheelie. Read about the five best moments in the movie, along with sidebars on "Scramble City" and the age old dream battle of Unicron versus the Death Star. Looks like they had to chop out some copy to make space, but so long as the byline stands and the check clears, I'll head into tomorrow just as convictionless as before.

I have to admit, I'm pretty pumped about the Summer Megaparty. (See the previous entry if you don't know what in the fuck I'm talking about.) I've spent most of the night spinning in my chair, looking around my junkyard office for different things to write about. Then I thought about how I could hop in my car with my laptop, drive down the street and review the neighbor's weird lawn ornaments. X-E became whatever it became, but it was built on the freedom to turn anything into content. I'm psyched.

I'll probably let tomorrow slide without a new entry so we can enter the Megaparty cleanly, and knowing that, maybe it's a good time for a survey.

In the comments, list five of your weirdest quirks. Don't fake it. Think about the weird stuff you do, whether it paints you gold or black, and tell the world. Or at least, tell the small part of the world that sifts through comments on my blog. Here's five of mine:

  • I love V8 juice, but I hate drinking it whenever someone else is in the room. When I'm alone, I have visions of the Juiceman and of beautiful beds of tomatoes and parsley. When my concentration breaks, all I can think about is how there must be bits of soil and worms somewhere in the juice.
  • I can write just as quickly upside-down and backwards as I can the standard way. Hard to explain, but picture me leaning across the table and writing you a note. You wouldn't have to flip the paper over to read it. I'm very proud of this.
  • I cannot tie shoelaces. I never learned how. I have trouble with most knots, but shoelaces especially. I rarely buy sneakers for this reason.
  • I have absolutely no appreciation for music. I've listened to the same dozen or so artists/groups for the last decade. Nothing else can get in the rotation and I have no idea why.
  • I'm left-handed, but unlike most left-handers, I've never been able to learn how to use scissors with my right hand. It makes me feel contorted. Thus, I'm very poor at cutting things out with scissors. Perhaps I should invest in a specialty scissor.

Your turn!

Posted by Matt on 06/18/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 381 comments

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I got nothing, I just wanted to say FIRST POST!!!

Chestnuts roasted by GordoTheManChild @ 06/18/2007 10:17 PM


1) Sometimes I scream/punch/kick in my sleep, depending on the nightmare. Poor girlfriend.
2) I eat a PBJ for breakfast every morning.
3) I’m obsessed with Thailand.
4) I’m holding off on all tattoos until they come out with legitimately glow-in-the-dark ink.
5) I listen to chiptunes, but only when no one is around to point and laugh at me.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 06/18/2007 10:27 PM


Oooh, a survey of quirks. This is something I can post on.

1) I need my books to be in chronological order according to the story, especially my Star Wars books. For instance, you will not see a Jedi Academy Trilogy book before a Thrawn Trilogy book on the shelf. In the event that two or more books take up the same time frame, I must carefully consider which book to place first on the shelf.

2) I have come up with a system of ‘opposites’ that I use when playing games where you have to guess a word based on a clue. The opposite of pen is pencil, the opposite of lime is lemon, the opposite of scottish is irish, and so forth. A few people get it, and most dont.

3) It’s not much of a quirk considering some internet groups, but I still play my NES more than any other system.

4) I refuse to eat mushrooms because they subsist and grow directly on dead/rotton things. I’ve never even really tried them.

5) I have a tendancy to line things up.

Chestnuts roasted by DarthPez @ 06/18/2007 10:28 PM


1)at the end of the night I have to run out of the room before my computer turns off. Call it OCD, or just plain silly but I “shut down” then quickly gather up things and turn off lights before I run upstairs to bed.

… hmm there must be more.

Chestnuts roasted by Penmissile. @ 06/18/2007 10:31 PM


1)I never learned how to pronounce melancholy; in my head I keep saying mell-an-cho-lee
2)At lunch I like barbeque potato chips on a buttered roll.
3)I can’t do tangrams…even easy ones.
4)I can’t sleep in silence or with music…it has to be to some kind of talk radio.
5)I can only drink Snapple iced tea in 16 oz glass bottles…not the plastic ones or cans.

Chestnuts roasted by JennyB7 @ 06/18/2007 10:38 PM


Jesus, this will make everyone think I am insane:

1. I talk to myself. It isn’t all crazy talk and the like, more like “I need to get started on this project” or “I’m gonna go grab a coke”. Nothing especially odd, but some people are freaked out by it…

2. I casually speak in leet. I say “lawl”, “brb”, and “ttyl” in casual conversation. Somehow, I don’t using leet on the internet. This is usually only to my friends and relatives, so not many people get to see this side of me.

3. I jump off of everything. EVERYTHING. If I’m walking through the park, you bet your ass I would jump onto the picnic bench and jump off. I jump the last couple of stairs on any set of stairs. If there is a route that offers no jumping and a route that offers lots of jumping, I always go for the jumping route. I think I was a kangaroo in my past life.

4. When it gets past midnight, I turn into a raving oddball. My jokes are only funny to me, I start laughing at random times (probably at my jokes), and I generally act stupid. But that is another story for another time.

5. I can crack so many joints in my body. Back, toes, fingers, wrists, knees, elbows, and my neck are all places I can crack. It isn’t just a small little crackle either, it is freaking loud. You can hear it across the room loud. You cringe when you hear it loud. Not to mention my fingers are hyper flexible, so when I was young used to freak people out by doing push-ups on them.

Chestnuts roasted by Phil G. @ 06/18/2007 10:39 PM


First off, Matt, it’s good to see you back with regularity.

And my quirks:

1–I have an obsessive collection of animals replicas (over 2000) and my mission is to get one of each–including prehistoric ones.

2–I must always curse at inanimate objects when they injure me.

3–Because of my current social life (none) I can honestly say that I have read about far more movies that I want to see, than I ever will see (thank gods for internet reviewers).

4–Along with my wife, we have never stayed in a place for longer than two years (that may change now that we own our house, but honestly, we have pretty much been looking since we moved to our newest place a year ago).

5–Nothing gets my bile up faster than people introducing Bible or religious stories to my son (especially if they are passing them off as true.)

6–And a bonus–people that refer to “animals” and then “reptiles” as two different things–I must correct them always!

Chestnuts roasted by Sean (the old fish one) @ 06/18/2007 10:41 PM


Yay Sean! I’m always happy when you turn up. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/18/2007 10:42 PM


I’m looking forward to the new Transformers movie, which is odd, because I’m not a Transformers fan. But the movie looks like it will be a ride. My quirks (if anyone cares):

- I’m a LOTR (Lord of the Rings) Nut. Not so much the movies but the books. I’ll buy almost anything with Tolkien on it or relating to Middle Earth.

- For dinner, I like nothing more than just beer and cheese.

- My family says I eat like a “European” because I shovel food on my fork with my knife. Is that wrong?

- I’m addicted to things like NPR and the BBC world service. Okay, so my friends can’t ride in a car with me. At least I can listen to ATC in peace. :-)

- I’m left handed too, but I play sports right handed (I also use right handed sissors).

Chestnuts roasted by Doug @ 06/18/2007 10:42 PM


1. I have the ability to cry on cue. Convincingly.
2. I like plucking my eyebrows more than having them waxed because I enjoy tearing up from little painful plucks as opposed to one quick rip.
3. I never took my SATs because I was too scared of finding out just how stupid I am. For a while I’ve had this strange fear that I’m secretly retarded, and that no one has ever told me and I can’t figure it out myself cuz I’m retarded.
4. I’ve never done drugs. Ever.
5. I played with Barbie dolls into middle school. I was a fucking Barbie maniac. I still have all my Barbie stuff, in a little room below the stairs.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 06/18/2007 10:53 PM


*I don’t do ice. Not in my drinks, not anywhere. The Colonel calls me insane, but honestly this is the least of his reasons for doing so. I’m Mr. Green Christmas, I’m Mr. Sun, yada, yada, yada

*I like to crank up the AC as high as it can go, anytime of the year and sleep under this giant down comforter I have. Also, I don’t open my bed, EVER. I just use the comforter, or nothing at all.

*I play as female characters in video games, and use them as my avatars and sigs on forums, without fail. Me and my dad are playing Tiger Woods 07 and I play Annika Sorenstam (sp?). Just the latest in a long line.

*I compulsively finish everything humanly possible in any game I’m playing. This is how you get 213 hours in Final Fantasy XII w/o even being close to finished with it. I’m OCD, dammit.

*I always have to like things that are controversial and go against the norm. I like the Prequels better than the original trilogy, I like Revolutions the best, I love little teeny-tiny bit characters that aren’t going to get any loving otherwise. I love Ashlee Simpson, I love Josie and the Pussycats, I love Constantine, I like Simon’s Quest better than the original, I like VIII better than VII or X, I actually love Xenosaga. You get the idea.

I do use right-handed scissors, but I shelled out for a left-handed bass.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 06/18/2007 11:01 PM


1) I count things. I count the stairs when I go up, I count the steps I take, I count to 5 over and over for no reason when I am waiting in waiting rooms…
2) I am a circus ride freak. In Korea, my friends and I were the only 3 people on the ride, and since we knew a little Korean, he let us stay on the ride over and over as long as we wanted. I stayed on for 35 minutes.
3.) I am constantly wiggling my toes.
4.) I hate most condiments. I will NOT eat mustard, mayo, relish, sour cream, etc. Yet I adore ketchup and bbq sauce.
5.) I wear 4 rings. When I am bored or thinking, I will take off a ring, turn it around and then put it back on. Over and over and over. Sometimes I don’t even notice I am doing it until the ring falls on the floor…which sucks in a movie theater!!

OK- secret’s out- I am a wee bit strange.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/18/2007 11:03 PM


1. On my bookshelf, I organize my books by height – tallest ones on the left, shortest on the right.
2. My closet has all of my shirts organized by color (rainbow order).

Both of those show that I am pretty OCD! So:

3. I like sneezing.
4. I casually collect CDs, and then never listen to them.
5. I have never eaten brussels sprouts, and I’ve told myself for a long time that they’re horrible…so now I’m afraid to ever eat them!

Chestnuts roasted by hottips888 @ 06/18/2007 11:07 PM


havent commented in a while, but i thought this was a great time to do so

1. I have concerts in my head. Its kind of confusing, but i can hear the music in my head and i play the drums with my teeth.

2. I converse with myself, such as ill imagine a conversation i might or could have had, and I will play it out with myself without even thinking what I am doing.

3.I rarely read books because for some reason i have no attention span for text. I will be reading, and then my mind will wander, yet my eyes will still be scanning the words, and then ill get to the end of the page and realise that I didnt actually read any of it.

4. The land before time made me cry the first time I saw it. Another movie that i should mention that i cried in would me Transformers : the movie when optimus prime died and he gave that “its out darkest hour” speech and what not then the 80s music kicked in, that was some heartfelt shit.

5. I entered my profession because i thought it would make me like spiderman

Chestnuts roasted by asdfnick @ 06/18/2007 11:09 PM


I’m looking forward to the transformers movie, and yet I never really got into Transformers as a kid. huh…

Ok, quirks. In no real order.

1) I’m a Model Railroader. Now, if I was 50 or 60 this wouldn’t be a quirk, but I’m 24

2) When I do math problems in my head, I have to imagine I have a piece of paper, and then I have to imagine I have a pencil, and then I have to imagine actually writing out the numbers and moving the pencil in order to do simple arithmatic. (For this reason, I love my HP calculator)

3) Like someone else here mentioned, I talk to myself a lot about everyday ordinary things.

4) I don’t eat lettuce and tomatoes and have all sandwiches, burgers, hotdogs, what have you plain and dry. Ketchup on burgers only, but that’s it. However, I like lettuce just fine by itself.

5) At any given moment, I have some piece of music playing in my head. All the time. ALL the time. Sometimes I will wake up in the morning and find my brain is still in mid-song.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 06/18/2007 11:16 PM


Oh fun, quirks! Quirks are my speciality.

1. If Im walking with another person, or a group of people I always have to walk behind. I can never lead.

2. In my closet, my shirts are arranged in order of color from white to black, and in each color its arranged from sleeveless to long sleeve shirts.

3. I have a thing with touching. Like, I cant put my hands in dishwater, but if Im at a store or something and see something I like and have to touch it. One day my brother had to stand there while I touched an entire rack of brassieres at Wal*Mart.

4. Everything I eat is eaten in a specific way. From you’re standard potatoes-than veggies-than meat, to eating my m&ms in order of color (yellow to brown). Pizza especially throws people for a loop, I take my slice and flip it upside down on the plate then proceed to eat the crust, then pepperoni, then cheese.

5. I cant sleep right unless the bedclothes are safety pinned to one side of the bed. I dont like my blankets and sheets being able to move while Im sleeping. Plus it makes it soooo much easier to make the bed in the morning.

Chestnuts roasted by Jenna @ 06/18/2007 11:22 PM


Oooohhh… a great topic that I must post on!

1. I am a MUCH bigger Transfan than I let on to be. My oldest friend and I talk from time to time about Transformers, and I can tell he isn’t as in to them anymore. That makes me sad. (I was pumped to see Matt post about the new movie!)

2. I lose my appetite EXTREMELY easily. If someone is chewing with their mouth open anywhere near me, I can’t eat. Simple as that.

3. I am obsessively polite. I can’t stand it when I come across people who are rude…or short…or just plain not nice.

4. I check the same 8 internet sites roughly fifty times per day. Call it a nervous habit.

5. I always have to wear two shirts. I feel naked in just a t-shirt.

quirky enough?

Chestnuts roasted by rnxn @ 06/18/2007 11:28 PM


I check the same 8 internet sites roughly fifty times per day. Call it a nervous habit.

This is perfectly normal. I only do it with two, though.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 06/18/2007 11:36 PM


1. My favorite sandwich is PB and Bacon. On toast.
2. I find toes absolutly repulsive. They look like malformed stubby fingers. They creep me out.
3. I need to have my hands occupied almost at all times. Like MuppetBaby, I often play with my wedding ring.
4. I would amputate my arm in a heartbeat if Anakin Skywalker bionics were a true legitimate possibiliy.
5. My wife and I prefer to watch all TV and movies at home with subtitles, regadless of our ability to hear the sound.

Chestnuts roasted by Timbo @ 06/18/2007 11:49 PM


1. I travel around with a Benjamin Franklin action figure to get photo ops for the livejournal he’ll be hosting once I get the things pulled off my camera.

2. When I’m pissed, I wind up spewing off random phrases in anglo saxon, a language I’ve studied but can’t really pick up any other time. This once happened in the university library with me chewing out a microfiche machine.

3. I’m incapable of just eating pieces of taffy in the regular way. I have to stretch them out and pull them apart and make wierd little shapes with them.

4. I practically worship Ikea and tend to refer to the place as a shrine. The sad thing is, I’m usually not joking when I say it. I even compare various ones that I’ve been to. The one outside of Chicago wins so far.

5. I tend to slip into Random Brit Speak a lot when I am speaking. Granted I pretty exclusively watch stuff from BBC America or British shows online if I’m watching tv, but still…

Chestnuts roasted by Skywalking @ 06/18/2007 11:51 PM


1. I count the corners of things – in my head so no one else knows I’m doing it, of course.

2. You know those 3D pictures that were all the rage back in the day that looked like absolutely nothing unless you could cross your eyes a certain way? Well, I could do that eye crossing (on cue, and without even thinking about it) WAY before those ever came out. My family thought I was insane when I said I could cross my eyes and not have it be blurry and it didn’t LOOK like I was crossing my eyes. I’m glad it was useful for something, but I still do it all the time.

3. I can’t whistle.

4. I have absolutely loved bats, all of my life.

5. I can’t stand to leave my clothes in the drier more than a few minutes after they get done. Even if it doesn’t matter that they wrinkle – I just can’t do it.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 06/18/2007 11:54 PM


- I hate loud pops (fireworks, gunshots, etc), and am afraid of balloons. I once got off a bus and waited for the next one because a kid with a balloon walked on.
- My favorite soda of all time is (was…) Pepsi Blue.
- I’ve always wanted a pet crow.
- Both my pinky fingers are naturally crooked.
- My opinion of Jar Jar Binks is that of indifference.

Chestnuts roasted by RageTreb @ 06/18/2007 11:55 PM


You know, if anyone stumbles upon this page they would think we are all crazy. Even more strange, do you know how many of the things already mentioned could be on my list as well?

I agree with Matt, btw, about Transformers; as a Trans fan and collector from way back, I’m so much more excited about the idea of the movie over what I expect the movie to be. I also learned my lesson in that regard from Episode I.

My list:
1) I have an incredible sense of smell. Depending on my level of clearness, I can pick up rain from miles away. I can also pick up individual people’s particular scent and know when they are near me or recently left a place I’m in based on smell alone. I can also tell when the weather is about to change. I was told this superpower came from having wisdom teeth so large the roots were embedded in my sinus glands. After they were removed, the space left behind caused my sinus receptors to became super sensitive. Just call me Super Sense of Smell Man-man-man-man…
2) I hate wearing shoes. In fact, at my last full-time job (at the high school) I got into trouble once because I had a phone call and I went to the front office without putting my shoes back on first.
3) I get angry at the most simple stuff. The more insignificant, the more frustrated I get. And if anyone assumes I’m ‘mad’ and tells me such, I get pissed off, too. Don’t tell me how I feel, fool.
4) I was once told that my best and worst quality was my honesty. I says what I think and think what I says.
5)When I’m working on a project I will obsess over it until either it’s done or I plan out every part of it than I can. Back when I was doing theatre full-time (again, at the high school) I would stay up whole nights writing up schedules, drawing building plans, working out blocking,etc. until it got to a point where I could not do it alone anymore. I also can’t sleep sometimes because my mind is focused on too many things, but as soon as I write a “to do” list or such, my mind calms and I can sleep.

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 06/18/2007 11:55 PM


Matt, congrats on the Toyfare gig. Hopefully they didn’t gut your article too badly. Frankly, I KNOW that I’ll be disappointed by the new TF movie, but I still can’t wait. I downloaded the new trailer on Xbox live and was super excited. I went out and bought the new Optimus Prime despite swearing that I wouldn’t buy any more toys. On to quirks…

1. I hate mayonaise, but I like Miracle Whip.
2. I really want everyone to like me, but I pretend not to care. This isn’t really a quirk for emo kids (or other “non-conformists”) but I conform to everything.
3. I told my Dad I didn’t want him to leave me his guns in his will. I said it was because other beneficiaries would shoot more, but I lied. I don’t want a gun because I secretly worry about how depressed I get sometimes, and wonder if I might kill myself.
4. I’ve worked at a job I hate for two years because I’m afraid of rejection during a job search.
5. Finally, this one is really gross. After I clean my ears, the q-tip smells funny.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 06/18/2007 11:55 PM


K- I’m with you on liking the prequels better. I had no idea other people like me existed in this world and was afraid there was something sick and wrong inside my head.

koikanna I’m with you when it comes to the fish. I’m not sure why.

Also something else wierd about me I didn’t mention in my comment…

I had a jedi padawan haircut (with the braid and occasionally the ponytail yeah) for the better part of two years. It only got cut off because my mother helped me find a place that could dye my hair pink like I’d been wanting and I didn’t want to push too many limits. As it turned out the pink didn’t work out and that really sucked. I still miss my braid dammit.

Chestnuts roasted by Skywalking @ 06/18/2007 11:56 PM


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