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New Article: X-E Goes On A Cruise!


A new article, as promised. Click here to read my review/recap/diatribe/whatever on our recent cruise vacation, which is really just a hodge podge of useless thoughts and information on everything from Cuban cigars to ghost crabs. After writing and editing, I still felt like something was missing. Finally, it hit me. "Coherence!" I didn't fix it to add coherence, but it's nice to be cognizant. Being cognizant gives me the excuse to use the word "cognizant." It's a fun word. Try being cognizant sometime, so you can use it too.

Posted by Matt on 06/12/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 198 comments

Shuanfu–
MacGyver.

Chestnuts roasted by DeeJay @ 06/15/2007 8:12 AM

Shaunfu – I think that the boat crash list would be more about who could help you survive, and the plane crash list is who do you really want to die, because really…how many people survive plane wrecks?

Charles Ingalls on my boat. The man can build a house in like 3 days. Ideally, I think a boat filled with Amish people would do the trick.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/15/2007 9:12 AM

Shuanfu: I would say Paris Hilton. I’m pretty sure she would die off first and I would not feel too guilty eating her.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 06/15/2007 9:48 AM

There is no way Paris Hilton is healthy for you though. I think I’d want both Mythbusters. Those guys are sure to come in handy.

Chestnuts roasted by 9-Line @ 06/15/2007 11:35 AM

9-Line, that’s a good one. They’d be handy AND entertaining.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 06/15/2007 1:11 PM

Good Vibes and Well Wishes to Big McLargehuge! I hope you and Blast Hardcheese have many happy years together.

As for a shipwreck crew, I’d have to consider a good balance of brains, brawn, and the fact that one would have to stand being near them for extended periods. Wonder Woman, Xena, Storm, BlackArachnia, Spider Man, MacGuyver with a Guyver Unit, Brock Samson, and a mid-size luxury yacht to shipwreck with. There’s you an adventure. Especially in the Bermuda Triangle or the Grand Line.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/15/2007 1:17 PM

And let’s not forget Bruce Campbell.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/15/2007 1:31 PM

Sea World is boring…again, skip it. Spend the extra day doing something much more fun. But that’s easy to say I guess with the Miami Sequarium in my backyard when I grew up. Maybe its cool if yer in one of these land locked places.

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 06/15/2007 1:39 PM

And good luck, its always HOT in Florida, or raining, or both.

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 06/15/2007 1:42 PM

That boat full of Amish people would stink so bad you’d wish for a shipwreck. and on to the 3rd place I’ve spent part of my life. Miami, Las Vegas, then South Central PA….*sigh*

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 06/15/2007 1:44 PM

BILL, Mitch Hedberg fuckin rocks! I loved that guy! BTW, I’ll fight ya for a scrap of Hilton’s chicken legs. Plenty o’ protein in that one.
BIG: Congrats to you and Mrs. McLargeHuge.
But have you ever thought about maybe changing your name to Bolt Vanderhuge, Thick McRunfast, or maybe even the ever popular Bob Johnson… :o )

Chestnuts roasted by citygirl @ 06/15/2007 2:03 PM

Sorry for the double post, but how hot is it in Florida now? We hit 107 in Vegas yesterday. BLAH! I still feel sticky!

Chestnuts roasted by citygirl @ 06/15/2007 2:05 PM

9-Line – The December 2006 edition of Outside magazine has an article entitled “The Zero-G Spot” dedicated to one man’s quest to get laid in space. The online counterpart to the article can be found here: http://outside.away.com/outside/culture/200612/michael-behar-interview.html

Bill – Sucks about Mitch, huh? He died very near April Fool’s Day, so I thought it was a joke when I heard it. It took a month of reading about his death to finally convince me that he had moved on to that big Doubletree in the sky.

Shanfu – The Professor. He’s been stranded on a desert island before, so he knows the ropes. Any man that can repair a busted radio with some palm fronds and a fucking coconut can shipwreck with me any day. If I can’t have him, I’ll take Evangeline Lilly. She also has desert island experience, and even if she can’t do anything useful I still get to be stranded on a desert island with Evangeline Lilly.

Tutsuro – Glad you liked the line. I hope to start writing for Hallmark in the fall.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 06/15/2007 2:06 PM

I’d prefer to be on a boat with an Army squadron. With 50 pairs of air-tight BTU’s on board that’s surely enough to float me home.

I know I make myself out to be a slob on X-E, considering 90%+ of my posts have something to do with food, but taking a look at my myspace immediately proves otherwise, but on my hunt for Java Monsters I came across Dill Pickle (David brand) sunflower seeds and I’m not sure what I think about these yet. Oh, and still no luck finding the Java Monsters… :(

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/15/2007 2:06 PM

“slob” = “fat slob”, and no offense to anybody suffering from obesity, I just mean I make myself out to be the stereotypical fat slob..

I’ll shut up now.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/15/2007 2:12 PM

Meepy – Why is Sea World boring? You never expounded. Keep in mind that I would rather watch the deep ocean episode of Planet Earth and read about studies in octopus personalities than ride a roller coaster.

Also, you may have spent part of your life in PA, but I’ve never lived anywhere else. My mom lives in Lancaster, I grew up in DuBois…I’m quite familiar with the Amish, not in a “I went to a tourist trap and bought a book” way, but in a “I went to their doctors” kind of way. I’m prepared for the stench, it’s a small price to pay for my survival!

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/15/2007 2:25 PM

Dill pickle flavor sounds bad, but tastes stupendous. I like foods that cause conflicts between my senses. Except green ketchup. The eyes won that battle. And as far as the shipwreck thing goes are we keeping it to real people or characters? Becuase I would so trade both the mythbusters for Omega Supreme. That way I get a rocket AND a tank. :)

Chestnuts roasted by 9-Line @ 06/15/2007 3:02 PM

I don’t know how hot it is in Florida now, but I know when I lived in Vegas that at least there it got cool or cold some of the time, forget about that in Florida.

If you prefer seeing a whale splash you with water and see a buncha fish behind glass, then by all means, I suppose Sea World is good for that. Me, I wouldn’t travel farther than Baltimore to see fish. But again, I’ve spent most of my life in Miami, surrounded by fish, and making a gazillion trips to all the parks in Florida.

As for the Amish, I remember when they crowded our small State building in Harrisburg for a hearing and while it was quite an experience to see them all march off into the distance afterwards (and wonder how they were getting back to Lancaster), the smell in the building took quite a while to dissipate. I could find other ways to survive.

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 06/15/2007 3:04 PM

I guess that smell would traumatize anyone. As far as Sea World, how can I *not* go? a)I love marine life b) the last time I was there I was 7 and 3) If Florida is as hot as you say, I will enjoy nothing more than being drenched by a captive killer whale and having it evaporate for awhile. But I do appreciate the input.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/15/2007 3:42 PM

You have a point about the heat and the drenching…though knowing that it rains so much in Florida, you can probably expect that anyway! Free Willy!

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 06/15/2007 3:45 PM

Citygirl: It’s tempting, but Big fits. If I were to change my name, I’d stick to my fake heritage and go with Gristle McThornbody. But I’m glad that you and Kingklash got the reference. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Big McLargehuge @ 06/15/2007 4:00 PM

And here I was going to say congrats to you and Dr. Lady. (Congrats for real, not just as an excuse to make MST references!)
LOL Chris I was going to put Sawyer on the top of my list. So we could start a book club, of course.
Speaking of YTMND (in the article), this cracked me up (spoilers): http://lostsopranosending.ytmnsfw.com/

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/15/2007 4:14 PM

“He triiied to kill me with a forklift! Ole’!“

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/15/2007 4:23 PM

Big McLargehuge

After several “man-related” accidents during my BMX days my friends started calling me Slap Nutz, but after the whole Big McLargehuge and etc.. references, they started calling me “Crunch Buttsteaks” or something like that, which I think is from the whole Mystery Science Theater name calling.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/15/2007 4:25 PM

Sorry for the double post, again, but this is an incredibly busy Friday and I really shouldn’t be here, but in reference to my above post, I was going no where with that, I just thought Big McLargehuge might appreciate it.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/15/2007 4:27 PM

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