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New Article: X-E Goes On A Cruise!


A new article, as promised. Click here to read my review/recap/diatribe/whatever on our recent cruise vacation, which is really just a hodge podge of useless thoughts and information on everything from Cuban cigars to ghost crabs. After writing and editing, I still felt like something was missing. Finally, it hit me. "Coherence!" I didn't fix it to add coherence, but it's nice to be cognizant. Being cognizant gives me the excuse to use the word "cognizant." It's a fun word. Try being cognizant sometime, so you can use it too.

Posted by Matt on 06/12/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 198 comments

I love ghost crabs, and I love this article. It leaves an aftertaste of the good old days of Profanity-Ridden Matt (…with cigarette-flicking action and six unique catch phrases! Now only $24.99!)

Chestnuts roasted by Katherine @ 06/13/2007 4:17 PM

Jessica Marie, if your an animal lover in the least, then you would never regret staying at the Animal Kingdom resort. Just make sure you get a room on the side that actually, you know, has a view of the animals. A bit more costly, but totally worth it. I got to stay a few nights in the place once and each morning I would wake up to a giraffe just outside the window. And when we walked around the path, a giraffe seemed to always follow us. I think he wanted to eat us.

And if you do stay there, try not to ask what the round, walled-off areas on the property are for -it made me worry a bit ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 06/13/2007 4:21 PM

Thanks for the input, Shaunfu. I was afraid it would be lame, but you have put my fears to rest. Now to convince my husband.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 4:52 PM

Speaking of Disney, did anyone watch the E! THS on the Mickey Mouse Club? I like seeing what people I used to watch are doing and look like now.

Another great article. Did you get any souvenears besides cigarettes and cigars?

I was on a cruise ship in Chicago as part of a school trip once for a couple hours. After the ship tour, all we did was eat from a buffet and dance.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/13/2007 5:10 PM

Jessica Marie, I can’t really say anything about the Disney Resorts, cause I didn’t stay in one, but I can give you some advice about when to go. I went in February (several years ago), and it was wonderful. That’s kind of an off time, so there weren’t as many people around as say, spring break.

Another bit of advice–if it’s rainy one day while you’re there, don’t just stay inside. Go to the Magic Kingdom that day. It seems to usually be about the busiest, but that’s what happened when I was there, and it really seemed like not all that many people were in the park. I remember walking up to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and getting right on–no line, and we got one of the boats all to ourselves. It was awesome :)

Chestnuts roasted by snowfire @ 06/13/2007 6:25 PM

Jessica: The AK Lodge is supposed to be really nice, but it’s pricey. I’d give some consideration to the Boardwalk area (I can’t recall the hotel name at the moment) if the AK Lodge is in your price range. From what I’ve been told, that place is a vacation within itself.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/13/2007 6:44 PM

After checking on the room rates, the lodge *could* be in my price range…it depends on how much we would want to save, I guess. This is so complicated! Is it the Boardwalk Inn you’re thinking of? The rates for that, during the time we’re thinking of going, are even higher than the Lodge, though it looks like a freaking birthday party to stay there. This is going to take more planning than I expected.
And I want to go to Sea World, the last time I was there was to the Ohio one when I was in second grade. I bought a fanny pack with Shamu on it.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 7:09 PM

Sorry for the double post, but snowfire – I’m glad to hear that February’s good, because that’s the time we were considering. Early February, probably. My northern European self can barely survive a vacation at Hilton Head Island, let alone in Florida.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 7:11 PM

Jessica: Definitely put some real thought and research into where you stay, because it can make or break the vacation. We spent our first three nights at the Polynesian last year, and totally loved every second of it — enough to where I could go back there, not hit the parks and still feel like I went on a great vacation. The last three nights, we were at the Grand Floridian, which despite its reputation was completely boring, sparse, stuffy and sucky.

Also remember that the sum of the World is a big place; some hotels are closer to certain parks than others. Not a big deal on the surface, but to give you an example, we could get to the Magic Kingdom via the Monorail or a five minute boat ride. Guess which park we were at most. :)

Of course, you don’t have to go that extravagant. There are definitely cheaper hotels that are still Disney hotels. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like being on the run every second of a vacation, so where we stayed was important to me. If you think you’re more prone to use your hotel for sleeping, breakfast and not much else — maybe it’s worth it to save some bucks and put it towards park hoppers.

And yes, I was referring to the Boardwalk Inn. The theme of that area is so far different from anything in the parks (or Universal, or Sea World) that there’s no way you won’t appreciate it. And, if I remember what people told me correctly, it stays pretty lively even after the parks close.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/13/2007 7:24 PM

Matt, you and your lady are missing out if you are too afraid to go in the ocean. Ocean sex is fucking divine. I once had sex with a beautiful woman in the waters of the Bahamas. Ended up marrying her. I don’t believe in the spiritual nor the supernatural, but I’ve touched the rocks at Stonehenge and I’ve made love to my wife in the ocean. And those two experiences are the closest I’ve ever come in my life to believing in magic. Do yourself a favor, man. Take my word.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 06/13/2007 7:46 PM

She’s not afraid, I am. She has a camera full of underwater photos of, I presume, sharks that were about to kill her, and dangerous jellyfish.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/13/2007 7:48 PM

JessicaI stayed at The Pop Culture rooms in the 70′s building, I’m pretty sure it’s on the cheeper side and I have no complaints. Of course I can’t really base it off anything else b/c it was my first time at WDW and it was my honeymoon, I would have been happy anywhere!

I felt left out, so yeah, that’s my two cents.

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 06/13/2007 7:51 PM

Wait, I thought having sex underwater introduced (harmful) bacteria into the uteral region, or something.

Oh Mythbusters, I have GREAT assignment for you!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 06/13/2007 7:54 PM

You smoke Marb Lights?!! I would sooner fire up the car and puff on the tailpipe. Those are F*O*U*L. The cute packaging almost makes up for the awful taste and unbearable aroma as well as the feeling of inhaling gaseous sandpaper. Only the smooth smooth flavor of Camels for me.

Chestnuts roasted by Lethargi @ 06/13/2007 9:03 PM

For someone who wanted to be a marine biologist, I’m way to petrified to go into the ocean. I freak myself out by imagining myself in the water with a whale shark – speaking of which, those dead whale sharks at the Georgia Aquarium make me shudder, just imaging those massive carcasses is terrifying.

IHAQ – I’ll definitely check it out. I’m fine with cheaper, cheesier, whateverer, as long as it’s comfy and has a clean bathroom. The Polynesian is starting to look better and better as well. Decisions, decisions…

Ocean sex does seem like a great way to contract something nasty, but if it worked for you, that’s awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 9:07 PM

Jessica Marie- Screw the hotel- spend all your $$$ on park passes, food at great restaurants, cheesy souvenirs, etc. Spend all your time out and about, and only come back to the hotel to crash. Its the best way to make the most of your trip. After all, its not like you have never spent a few days in a hotel or never will again…been there, done that. You will be in FLORIDA- get out there and have fun!

I think the fancy hotels are for VETERAN Florida go-ers. They have done every ride and seen it all before, so the hotel and the stay become the attraction more so than the other stuff. After a few times at Disney, I would look to spend more $$$ on a room, and less on Goofy. For the first trip, though? Forget about it!! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/13/2007 9:35 PM

Hmm. Sweet. Underwater sex. That’s going to have to go on my list of things to do before I die.

Chestnuts roasted by Doug @ 06/13/2007 10:21 PM

Muppet Baby – If the pacing of the words in your post reflect the speed of my vacation, I’ll need another week to recover from it! Thanks for the suggestion though. I’m not one for constant activity, though – being an introvert and needing to recharge and all that – but you’re right about having been to hotels before and not needing it to add even more to the experience. I’ll definitely think on it. Like I can help it! Everyone’s getting me so excited with their responses and advice that I can’t stop.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 10:28 PM

Jessica Marie: Muppet Baby is awesome but I live in Florida and I can tell you that there is no income tax for residence so you will find that no matter what you do, as a tourist, it will be expensive. Spend the 40 dollar difference and stay at a Disney hotel. Trust me, it makes the stay that much more memorable.

Becareful of ocean sex. Seacows are everywhere.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 06/13/2007 11:20 PM

That reminds me of Conan’s hornymanitee.com

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 06/13/2007 11:27 PM

I’m not so big on the underwater sex, but I totally want to mack it in outerspace. I also want to hit up every character represented in the full line of the Village People. So far I have the construction worker and the military guy crossed off the list, but I think the Indian Chief is going to present some challenge.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 06/14/2007 12:06 AM

Mystie: The simple fact that you got them to switch hit is testament to the ease you will have finding a Chief. God bless you. :)

Space sex: I keep picturing Tang bubbles floating and….you know what? Never mind.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 06/14/2007 12:27 AM

Wow, you backed me up, even though I was technically shitting on his parade. I love you guys :D

I’ll stick with masturbating in the jacuzzi.

Chestnuts roasted by K- doesnt have a jacuzzi fool! @ 06/14/2007 12:33 AM

Matt- Does absynthe have a liquorice flavor? I have a friend that has a bottle, and I was all for trying it, but then I smelled the shit, and it smelled like black liquorice. I fucking hate black liquorice! Also…how do sugar cubes come into play? I am fascinated with this green stuff that I have not had the guts to try!

Chestnuts roasted by Crazy_Mainer @ 06/14/2007 12:47 AM

Jessica Marie,
If I may add my 2 cents: I, being a native Floridian, can’t speak much on the hotel issue because we rarely stayed in one. However, I think Bill is right: You guys may regret NOT staying in a “fun” hotel.
I can vouch for Meepy’s statement that you HAVE TO sit in the back on BIG THUNDER MOUNTAIN RAILROAD. The front is a waste.
February or October. Less crowds, less heat.
Also, FAST PASS. Without it, there will be no SPACE MOUNTAIN or SPLASH MOUNTAIN.
Finally, beware of hitch-hiking ghosts in the HAUNTED MANSION:shock:

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 06/14/2007 1:02 AM

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