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New Article: X-E Goes On A Cruise!


A new article, as promised. Click here to read my review/recap/diatribe/whatever on our recent cruise vacation, which is really just a hodge podge of useless thoughts and information on everything from Cuban cigars to ghost crabs. After writing and editing, I still felt like something was missing. Finally, it hit me. "Coherence!" I didn't fix it to add coherence, but it's nice to be cognizant. Being cognizant gives me the excuse to use the word "cognizant." It's a fun word. Try being cognizant sometime, so you can use it too.

Posted by Matt on 06/12/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 198 comments

Great article. The part about the towel animals…genius. I laughed out loud. Worth the wait dude.

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 06/13/2007 12:06 AM

Awesome, you know an article is a sucess when people around me think I’m looking at something dirty because I’m laughing.

Chestnuts roasted by mrjayberry @ 06/13/2007 12:13 AM

The idea of FLOATING from NYC to Florida and the Bahamas just blows my mind- awesome. Just like the olden, olden, OLDEN days.

I have had that Big Red commercial song in my head for 2 days now “your fresh breath goes on and on while you chew it- so say goodbye a little longer, make it last a little longer, its long lasting freshness.. with big red!” or something like that…

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/13/2007 12:13 AM

Okay, is it just me or is every single woman in that picture of the taco buffet overweight?

Chestnuts roasted by Shaun @ 06/13/2007 12:15 AM

i don’t know what you’re talking about matt that article was no incoherent or cognizant or whatever word describes it. i thought it was well written, really funny, and had nice sarcastic random humor which i think any of us can appreciate.

Chestnuts roasted by danny @ 06/13/2007 12:21 AM

Sad to hear Mr. Wizard is gone. :(

But another awesome article, Matt. If that next to last paragraph isn’t 21st century romanticism, I don’t know what is.

Yes, I’m an English nerd who analizes writing for fun. Wanna fight about it?!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 06/13/2007 12:24 AM

Muppet Baby
Damn you DAMN YOU for getting that accursed ad stuck in my head!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 06/13/2007 12:26 AM

Cameron T- Hey man, misery loves company! I swear, that ad was stuck in my head for 3 years once…at least I am not the only one now! MUH HA HA!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/13/2007 12:41 AM

It wasn’t disjointed, it was episodic.

REALLY funny. 2 standouts: The whole Towel Dog bit and the “..you gotta roll the dice somewhere.” :)

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 06/13/2007 12:41 AM

Glad to see another Shaun noticed the same thing that I did…

My Dad went on a Disney cruise a month or so ago and came home saying he loved every minute of it, and the biggest thing he talked about was the food as well. He said they would ask for things just to see if the cooks would make it and, to his surprise, they did…each and every item and every time he asked….

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 06/13/2007 12:42 AM

One unexpected taco is worth far more than one expected taco

That really speaks to me. Confucius can fuckin’ hang.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 06/13/2007 1:16 AM

The whole love bug thing is pretty weird, actually. They went from being a pretty rare and unstudied species prior to the 1940′s, to being a total plague every spring and summer for the entire gulf coast. No one is all that sure why that happened, although some theories hold that logging in east Texas and west Louisiana helped distribute the little bastards everywhere. We’ve pretty much had them here (Northwest Louisiana) for as long as anyone can remember though. I guess we decided to share the fun with the rest of the south.

All I know for sure is this: They are legion, and they are unstoppable. Frogs and birds do not eat them. They will turn your car into rolling mass of bug guts after one interstate ride.

Chestnuts roasted by Wukong @ 06/13/2007 1:20 AM

I don’t drink, smoke, or gamble, so I don’t think a cruise is for me. Disney cruises intrigue me though.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 06/13/2007 1:35 AM

I know exactly what you mean about the lovebugs — having just been down at Disney last month, I can concur that those things are everywhere! And there’s never just one of ‘em, they are always stuck in pairs. It’s like a massive bug orgy.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 06/13/2007 1:38 AM

Lets see.. during my cruise on a carnival, I ran a underground Air Hockey league with my cousin and all the other punkkids on the cruise ship, almost got in a fight with a 11 year old also XD was pretty funny, and I won about.. 200$ in the casino playing blackjack, I felt good, got cocky, an lost it ;.; sides that it was a fun trip X3

Chestnuts roasted by DashiKun @ 06/13/2007 1:42 AM

Never been on a cruise, but it would be fun for the umbrella drinks

Chestnuts roasted by the politically correct concerned citizen Josh Ednoff @ 06/13/2007 2:37 AM

Superstar article, Matt! You get 25 points.

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 06/13/2007 2:48 AM

The Disney HOTEL sure as fuck didn’t hide the lovebugs. Funniest of all was sitting around watching the things randomly change partners when you managed to kill one of them.

That said, I enjoyed the article. I about died laughing several times and made sure to share with friends over AIM the passages I loved the best.

And Flying Fish. That mention made the C.S Forester fan in me go all swoony.

Chestnuts roasted by Skywalking @ 06/13/2007 3:01 AM

Nice article. I now know that I never ever want to go on a cruise.

Quick question: Will you ever make the entire catalog of X-E articles accessable from the home page?

Chestnuts roasted by jimmy zer0 @ 06/13/2007 6:37 AM

Mr. Wizard died.

I thought he’s been dead for years.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/13/2007 8:57 AM

A few years ago I went on a Carnival cruise. After I got back, a rich friend of mine tried to convince me that I took the shittiest cruise possible, and that Carnival was the “Kmart of cruise lines,” as he put it. Even though I had an awesome time, he made me feel bad. After reading your article, I realize that we had identical cruise experiences, so I feel a lot better now. Thanks, mang!

Chestnuts roasted by tanta07 @ 06/13/2007 9:14 AM

To all of those who don’t “drink, smoke, or gamble…”
What do you do on vacations?!? :-)
Frankly, until I am tied down by kids, I fully expect to hit two out of three of those recreational activities on most weekends, but definitely every vacation.

Chestnuts roasted by mowntandew @ 06/13/2007 10:26 AM

Awesome article, Matt. It’s filled with all the reasons we, your loyal/slightly rabid fanbase, keep coming back for more. I wouldn’t want to go on a cruise, really…being out on open water terrifies me…but I am jealous you got to take a week’s vacation all at once and do something that didn’t involve sitting on your ass in PJs for the week, which is how I usually spend my vacation days. Oh well. I just adopted the first kitty cat of my very own this weekend. His name is Cody and he’s a 13.5-lb. long-haired orange tuxedo ball of cuddles and fluff. He’s the love of my life and I couldn’t be happier…now I’m just about 99 adoptions away from being a crazy cat lady!! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 06/13/2007 10:31 AM

My cousins went on this cruise where ya had to dress up for dinner and pose for a souvenier portrait with your family. They went to the bahamas and Universal Orlando.

I was gonna have a Disney Wedding cruise. Then my husband almost died of diverticulitis so our money went to his surgery

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_reeves @ 06/13/2007 10:37 AM

Way to get back into the writing swing. Of things.

My husband decided on Sunday that we have to go to Disney World, since my fam was po’ and I’ve never been. I am so, so geeked and can’t wait to start my research. I even spent all of yesterday afternoon mesmerized by a string of shitty Disney World specials on the Travel Channel.Questions: Should we invite friends, or go alone? What’s the best time of year to go, keeping in mind that we are mostly antisocial, crowd-hating people?

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 10:40 AM

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