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06/12/2007: New Article: X-E Goes On A Cruise!


A new article, as promised. Click here to read my review/recap/diatribe/whatever on our recent cruise vacation, which is really just a hodge podge of useless thoughts and information on everything from Cuban cigars to ghost crabs. After writing and editing, I still felt like something was missing. Finally, it hit me. “Coherence!” I didn’t fix it to add coherence, but it’s nice to be cognizant. Being cognizant gives me the excuse to use the word “cognizant.” It’s a fun word. Try being cognizant sometime, so you can use it too.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 196 comments

Jessica Marie:

Don’t invite friends cause then someone has a damn problem with waiting in a line or a certain part of Disney World and then ruin it for you. As for the best time, a Wednesday on a non-descript week nowhere near a holiday. That way you may only wait an hour in a line rather than 3 hours.

And when the 2 o’clock or so parade zooms by Thunder Mountain, skip the parade and get trapped on the Thunder Mountain side. You’ll be able to ride it about 5332543645 times in a row without any wait. AND, make sure you are in the last seat of the coaster cause it is by far the best seat. The way the coaster is set up, when it goes down a hill, the front has to wait for the back and so you slowly go down if you are in the front, as opposed to flying off your seat in the back.

Good article Matt.

Ghosted by meepy @ 06/13/2007 10:59 AM EDT

It’s times like these that my thoughts turn to days of yore and Stacy. You remember Stacy, right? The hostess for that bedeviled Disney video.

My thoughts on the subject back in the day:

Kryssa is so much better than Stacy. Probably just because of the hair, but better nonetheless.

When Kryssa says “surfs up dude”, I believe her, when Stacy says it, all I hear is “I will make your life a living hell, and you can never leave me…I mean the Magical Kingdom, NEVER NEVER”.

Ghosted by K- @ 06/13/2007 11:10 AM EDT

TRIPLE WISHES? i don’t wanna jinx it but…i have a good feeling…

Ghosted by Amanda @ 06/13/2007 11:13 AM EDT

Thank you for that. Great article. I was wondering about the mouthwash, as I looked at the pictures first, before reading. Nice. I think sneaking liquor is far better than buying and drinking it legally. But that’s in part cause any form of rebellion in my “old age” is rare.

Ghosted by kb @ 06/13/2007 11:16 AM EDT

K-

What are you talking about?

Ghosted by meepy @ 06/13/2007 11:17 AM EDT

Someone needs to read the blog archives :P

http://x-entertainment.com/updates/index.php?p=789

Ghosted by K- @ 06/13/2007 11:23 AM EDT

Like I said! Just haven’t begun my research yet…

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 11:45 AM EDT

Loved the article, Matt. Good stuff. I spent last Thanksgiving up in Vancouver drinking absinthe and smoking Cubans. I don’t remember too much of it, really. But judging from the crippling hangover, I think I had a good time.

Do you have your own special spoon for the absinthe? I lost mine on that Vancouver trip. The best part was calling the hotel the next day and asking if they’d found a big spoon with holes in it. They claimed not to have. Liars.

Ghosted by Chris Martin @ 06/13/2007 11:52 AM EDT

Research smesearch…been going to Disney all my life and I never researched…only by experience may one learn, hence the great Thunder Mountain trick I told you about.

Ghosted by meepy @ 06/13/2007 12:16 PM EDT

I have some weird pictures half loading issues with the site at the moment.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 06/13/2007 12:31 PM EDT

mowntandew, I’ve never been on a real vacation before. So…I don’t really know what I’d do if I ever did go on one. o_O

Ghosted by Annette @ 06/13/2007 12:33 PM EDT

Meepy – I appreciate your wisdom, that’s what I’m looking for after all.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 12:38 PM EDT

Matt, I find it suprising that you and your buddy didn’t have a drunk night of wearing life perservers, running up and down the hall yelling, “Everyone to the right side of the boat!!!” But then again you would probably be writing an article about the brig and not ghost crabs.

Jessica: I’m excited about your trip to Disney. Make sure to stay at a Disney resort and not on International Drive. It’s great to drive through, however.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7423394@N07/

Ghosted by Bill @ 06/13/2007 12:40 PM EDT

Though and however is a redundant statement. I throw myself at the mercy of all english majors. It will never happen again. never

Ghosted by Bill @ 06/13/2007 12:53 PM EDT

I’ve been all over the world, and cruises never really interested me. For that kinda money, I wanna check off a “thing to see before I die” not pasty fatties hording crab legs.

I did, however, enjoy the article. X-E trips are always my favorite to read.

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 06/13/2007 1:33 PM EDT

Matt, I missed your articles, for the past few months my work has been monotonous, and I’ve even taken to reading our crappy local newspaper. I’m so very happy you’ve written again, and hopefully will write again soon.

Ghosted by random bob @ 06/13/2007 1:43 PM EDT

Bill – Your hatred for Radio Shack and your pictures of that arcade room are both frightening.

I’m not sure where to stay yet. The marine biologist/zoologist in me (I even started as a bio major before switching to writing) is 2 seconds away from booking a room at the Animal Kingdom resort. Then again, I’m 26.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 2:06 PM EDT

Matt – What a great article. I’ve never been on a cruise, but now I want to try one. Oh yeah, I’m still trying to find the hidden links to the other articles. ;-)

Ghosted by Doug @ 06/13/2007 2:32 PM EDT

Hidden links to other articles?

SHENANIGANS!

Ghosted by K- @ 06/13/2007 2:59 PM EDT

Great article Matt. I went on a cruise a little over a year ago and this was a great reminder of all the things we experienced. Lots of memories rehashed. The best part of a cruise? No one gives you dirty looks when you are drinking at 11 am. Yup, good times. My schedule was…

11am – 4pm: Fruity drinks (margaritas, etc)
4pm – 9pm: Beer (either Coronas at the pool bar or Boddington’s in the pub)
9pm – 1am: Hard liquor (Usually something like Glenfiddich)

Oh yeah, we also did things like swim, go to beaches at the ports of call (where we saw fat, old, very naked men… yeah, a nude beach), take pictures of the towel animals, curse at the extremely small showers, and try to not waste too much money on silly souvenirs.

As for eating… I think I actually ate less that week than I typically do. The only night I overate was the night they served lobster tails for dinner. Our waiter just kept ‘em coming. How many times do you get all you an eat lobster tails? Yeah, I had a lot.

My lady really wants to go back someday. Considering I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would, I certainly wouldn’t mind it either. BTW, we were on a Royal Carribean Cruise, the Navigator of the Seas to be precise.

So, nice article! I love how you touched on all the little things that make a cruise so different.

Ghosted by Magic Toe @ 06/13/2007 3:13 PM EDT

“We need another Timmy!”

Ghost Crab, starring Forrest Whittaker.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 06/13/2007 3:16 PM EDT

Oh, one last thing… for those that think all people on cruise are unattractive… I would beg to differ.

Sure you have your fair share of 40-something, doughy, office workers who will slap your hand if you try to grab the last rasberry danish at the breakfast buffet. But there were also PLENTY of very gorgeous girls hanging out near the pool on the boat and at the beaches in the ports. I love my girl, and would never stray, but I think I saw the most beautiful girl on our cruise. She wasn’t American, that I could tell from her accent, but she was absolutely stunning. She hung out at the semi-nude beach… but no luck. Made me very sad. One of the only times in my life I would have been allowed to be in the presence of a naked girl, besides my lady, and she couldn’t have gotten upset! So close.

Ghosted by Magic Toe @ 06/13/2007 3:20 PM EDT

K: yeah, Matt mentioned it in the recap of the article on the home page. It’s a great way to kill time at work. :-) Even if they only turn out to be ghost links. Boo!

Ghosted by Doug @ 06/13/2007 3:42 PM EDT

Great article. I recently came back from a cruise myself. I was amazed at how you could leave your room for 5 minutes, and come back and your room would be cleaned and bed would be made. I swear they were like Ninjas.

Did your cruise not have the formal dinners, or did you not do it? Those were pretty fun, and my wife loved the Chocolate Melting Cake on the Carnival ship.

Ghosted by Scott @ 06/13/2007 4:07 PM EDT

Well that’s sneaky. I reiterate:

What is this main page you speak of? My bookmark goes straight to the blog

You hear that Matt? You wanna talk shit about me just do it on the main page and I will NEVER see it :P

Ghosted by K- @ 06/13/2007 4:13 PM EDT

I love ghost crabs, and I love this article. It leaves an aftertaste of the good old days of Profanity-Ridden Matt (…with cigarette-flicking action and six unique catch phrases! Now only $24.99!)

Ghosted by Katherine @ 06/13/2007 4:17 PM EDT

Jessica Marie, if your an animal lover in the least, then you would never regret staying at the Animal Kingdom resort. Just make sure you get a room on the side that actually, you know, has a view of the animals. A bit more costly, but totally worth it. I got to stay a few nights in the place once and each morning I would wake up to a giraffe just outside the window. And when we walked around the path, a giraffe seemed to always follow us. I think he wanted to eat us.

And if you do stay there, try not to ask what the round, walled-off areas on the property are for -it made me worry a bit ;)

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 06/13/2007 4:21 PM EDT

Thanks for the input, Shaunfu. I was afraid it would be lame, but you have put my fears to rest. Now to convince my husband.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 4:52 PM EDT

Speaking of Disney, did anyone watch the E! THS on the Mickey Mouse Club? I like seeing what people I used to watch are doing and look like now.

Another great article. Did you get any souvenears besides cigarettes and cigars?

I was on a cruise ship in Chicago as part of a school trip once for a couple hours. After the ship tour, all we did was eat from a buffet and dance.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 06/13/2007 5:10 PM EDT

Jessica Marie, I can’t really say anything about the Disney Resorts, cause I didn’t stay in one, but I can give you some advice about when to go. I went in February (several years ago), and it was wonderful. That’s kind of an off time, so there weren’t as many people around as say, spring break.

Another bit of advice–if it’s rainy one day while you’re there, don’t just stay inside. Go to the Magic Kingdom that day. It seems to usually be about the busiest, but that’s what happened when I was there, and it really seemed like not all that many people were in the park. I remember walking up to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and getting right on–no line, and we got one of the boats all to ourselves. It was awesome :)

Ghosted by snowfire @ 06/13/2007 6:25 PM EDT

Jessica: The AK Lodge is supposed to be really nice, but it’s pricey. I’d give some consideration to the Boardwalk area (I can’t recall the hotel name at the moment) if the AK Lodge is in your price range. From what I’ve been told, that place is a vacation within itself.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/13/2007 6:44 PM EDT

After checking on the room rates, the lodge *could* be in my price range…it depends on how much we would want to save, I guess. This is so complicated! Is it the Boardwalk Inn you’re thinking of? The rates for that, during the time we’re thinking of going, are even higher than the Lodge, though it looks like a freaking birthday party to stay there. This is going to take more planning than I expected.
And I want to go to Sea World, the last time I was there was to the Ohio one when I was in second grade. I bought a fanny pack with Shamu on it.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 7:09 PM EDT

Sorry for the double post, but snowfire – I’m glad to hear that February’s good, because that’s the time we were considering. Early February, probably. My northern European self can barely survive a vacation at Hilton Head Island, let alone in Florida.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 7:11 PM EDT

Jessica: Definitely put some real thought and research into where you stay, because it can make or break the vacation. We spent our first three nights at the Polynesian last year, and totally loved every second of it — enough to where I could go back there, not hit the parks and still feel like I went on a great vacation. The last three nights, we were at the Grand Floridian, which despite its reputation was completely boring, sparse, stuffy and sucky.

Also remember that the sum of the World is a big place; some hotels are closer to certain parks than others. Not a big deal on the surface, but to give you an example, we could get to the Magic Kingdom via the Monorail or a five minute boat ride. Guess which park we were at most. :)

Of course, you don’t have to go that extravagant. There are definitely cheaper hotels that are still Disney hotels. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like being on the run every second of a vacation, so where we stayed was important to me. If you think you’re more prone to use your hotel for sleeping, breakfast and not much else — maybe it’s worth it to save some bucks and put it towards park hoppers.

And yes, I was referring to the Boardwalk Inn. The theme of that area is so far different from anything in the parks (or Universal, or Sea World) that there’s no way you won’t appreciate it. And, if I remember what people told me correctly, it stays pretty lively even after the parks close.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/13/2007 7:24 PM EDT

Matt, you and your lady are missing out if you are too afraid to go in the ocean. Ocean sex is fucking divine. I once had sex with a beautiful woman in the waters of the Bahamas. Ended up marrying her. I don’t believe in the spiritual nor the supernatural, but I’ve touched the rocks at Stonehenge and I’ve made love to my wife in the ocean. And those two experiences are the closest I’ve ever come in my life to believing in magic. Do yourself a favor, man. Take my word.

Ghosted by Chris @ 06/13/2007 7:46 PM EDT

She’s not afraid, I am. She has a camera full of underwater photos of, I presume, sharks that were about to kill her, and dangerous jellyfish.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/13/2007 7:48 PM EDT

JessicaI stayed at The Pop Culture rooms in the 70’s building, I’m pretty sure it’s on the cheeper side and I have no complaints. Of course I can’t really base it off anything else b/c it was my first time at WDW and it was my honeymoon, I would have been happy anywhere!

I felt left out, so yeah, that’s my two cents.

Ghosted by IHAQ @ 06/13/2007 7:51 PM EDT

Wait, I thought having sex underwater introduced (harmful) bacteria into the uteral region, or something.

Oh Mythbusters, I have GREAT assignment for you!!!!!!

Ghosted by K- @ 06/13/2007 7:54 PM EDT

You smoke Marb Lights?!! I would sooner fire up the car and puff on the tailpipe. Those are F*O*U*L. The cute packaging almost makes up for the awful taste and unbearable aroma as well as the feeling of inhaling gaseous sandpaper. Only the smooth smooth flavor of Camels for me.

Ghosted by Lethargi @ 06/13/2007 9:03 PM EDT

For someone who wanted to be a marine biologist, I’m way to petrified to go into the ocean. I freak myself out by imagining myself in the water with a whale shark – speaking of which, those dead whale sharks at the Georgia Aquarium make me shudder, just imaging those massive carcasses is terrifying.

IHAQ – I’ll definitely check it out. I’m fine with cheaper, cheesier, whateverer, as long as it’s comfy and has a clean bathroom. The Polynesian is starting to look better and better as well. Decisions, decisions…

Ocean sex does seem like a great way to contract something nasty, but if it worked for you, that’s awesome.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 9:07 PM EDT

Jessica Marie- Screw the hotel- spend all your $$$ on park passes, food at great restaurants, cheesy souvenirs, etc. Spend all your time out and about, and only come back to the hotel to crash. Its the best way to make the most of your trip. After all, its not like you have never spent a few days in a hotel or never will again…been there, done that. You will be in FLORIDA- get out there and have fun!

I think the fancy hotels are for VETERAN Florida go-ers. They have done every ride and seen it all before, so the hotel and the stay become the attraction more so than the other stuff. After a few times at Disney, I would look to spend more $$$ on a room, and less on Goofy. For the first trip, though? Forget about it!! :)

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 06/13/2007 9:35 PM EDT

Hmm. Sweet. Underwater sex. That’s going to have to go on my list of things to do before I die.

Ghosted by Doug @ 06/13/2007 10:21 PM EDT

Muppet Baby – If the pacing of the words in your post reflect the speed of my vacation, I’ll need another week to recover from it! Thanks for the suggestion though. I’m not one for constant activity, though – being an introvert and needing to recharge and all that – but you’re right about having been to hotels before and not needing it to add even more to the experience. I’ll definitely think on it. Like I can help it! Everyone’s getting me so excited with their responses and advice that I can’t stop.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/13/2007 10:28 PM EDT

Jessica Marie: Muppet Baby is awesome but I live in Florida and I can tell you that there is no income tax for residence so you will find that no matter what you do, as a tourist, it will be expensive. Spend the 40 dollar difference and stay at a Disney hotel. Trust me, it makes the stay that much more memorable.

Becareful of ocean sex. Seacows are everywhere.

Ghosted by Bill @ 06/13/2007 11:20 PM EDT

That reminds me of Conan’s hornymanitee.com

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 06/13/2007 11:27 PM EDT

I’m not so big on the underwater sex, but I totally want to mack it in outerspace. I also want to hit up every character represented in the full line of the Village People. So far I have the construction worker and the military guy crossed off the list, but I think the Indian Chief is going to present some challenge.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 06/14/2007 12:06 AM EDT

Mystie: The simple fact that you got them to switch hit is testament to the ease you will have finding a Chief. God bless you. :)

Space sex: I keep picturing Tang bubbles floating and….you know what? Never mind.

Ghosted by Bill @ 06/14/2007 12:27 AM EDT

Wow, you backed me up, even though I was technically shitting on his parade. I love you guys :D

I’ll stick with masturbating in the jacuzzi.

Ghosted by K- doesnt have a jacuzzi fool! @ 06/14/2007 12:33 AM EDT

Matt- Does absynthe have a liquorice flavor? I have a friend that has a bottle, and I was all for trying it, but then I smelled the shit, and it smelled like black liquorice. I fucking hate black liquorice! Also…how do sugar cubes come into play? I am fascinated with this green stuff that I have not had the guts to try!

Ghosted by Crazy_Mainer @ 06/14/2007 12:47 AM EDT

Jessica Marie,
If I may add my 2 cents: I, being a native Floridian, can’t speak much on the hotel issue because we rarely stayed in one. However, I think Bill is right: You guys may regret NOT staying in a “fun” hotel.
I can vouch for Meepy’s statement that you HAVE TO sit in the back on BIG THUNDER MOUNTAIN RAILROAD. The front is a waste.
February or October. Less crowds, less heat.
Also, FAST PASS. Without it, there will be no SPACE MOUNTAIN or SPLASH MOUNTAIN.
Finally, beware of hitch-hiking ghosts in the HAUNTED MANSION:shock:

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 06/14/2007 1:02 AM EDT

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