X-Entertainment | New Article: X-E Goes On A Cruise!

New Article: X-E Goes On A Cruise!

A new article, as promised. Click here to read my review/recap/diatribe/whatever on our recent cruise vacation, which is really just a hodge podge of useless thoughts and information on everything from Cuban cigars to ghost crabs. After writing and editing, I still felt like something was missing. Finally, it hit me. "Coherence!" I didn't fix it to add coherence, but it's nice to be cognizant. Being cognizant gives me the excuse to use the word "cognizant." It's a fun word. Try being cognizant sometime, so you can use it too.

Posted by Matt on 06/12/2007. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 198 comments

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Nork: Watch MST3K “Space Mutiny”. You will never be the same again. I just have to say I love X-E because I have never known ANYONE to get any MST3K refs. EVER! I..dont..feel alone.. anymore!!

Chestnuts roasted by citygirl @ 06/15/2007 4:34 PM

Shaunfu- take Martha Stewart or Heloise. They could both make being kept fed much easier.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 06/15/2007 4:34 PM

“Put your helmet on! We will be reaching speeds of…3!” Sorry Im done now.

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 06/15/2007 4:43 PM

citygirl

I tried to make sure I had all episodes burned to DVD’s and I thought I’ve seen them all, but this episode doesn’t sound familiar to me so I’ll make sure I have it burned and then I’ll make sure I watch it.

I love Mystery Science Theater and I’m a huge fan of sarcastic name calling (seeing a scrawny white kid with his arms bowed out automatically makes me pop off the comment “Get ‘em there, Buff McStuff!”) so it sounds like this one might be at the top of my fav list, perhaps making #2 underneath the Manos: Hands of Fate episode, which is one of my favorite movies of all time, with or without MST3k’s influence.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/15/2007 4:47 PM

Favorite MST3K of all time? “Time of the Apes” hands down….but I must check out “Space Mutiny”….

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 06/15/2007 4:57 PM

Strange that Mitch Hedberg would come up here- I was watching a special of his last night.
Kindof on the subject, there was a line in Seinfeld, where Kramer said “These comedians, they’re sick people!”, and it seems to be true. Why does it seem so many comedians are wrapped up in problems? Psychological disorders, way into drugs, suicide. I remember when I found out Richard Jeni killed himself a few months ago. It was terrible. Same goes for Mitch.
Its so unfortunate.

Chestnuts roasted by Tutsuro @ 06/15/2007 5:02 PM

At Subway, ducks eat free.

Fruit on the bottom, Hope on top.

Hey look, it’s a frog!

Mitch was a favorite.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/15/2007 5:25 PM

What really bothers me is the comedians who won’t kill themselves. I mean, Mitch Hedberg, a true comedian and a really great guy, is dead and gone, but we can’t get a shotgun barrel or lethal overdose down the throats of Wanda Sykes or Carlos Mencia. The world’s just not fair, I tell ya.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 06/15/2007 5:36 PM

To be honest matt, I’m jealous of your cruise and can’t contribute to this convo.

Chestnuts roasted by Muchacha @ 06/17/2007 3:44 PM

I fucking own a website that on most days, is more popular than your own, yet I can’t match the aweseomeness of your cruise. Go Matt. Real fan here. Sorry, blame it on the cheap wine.

Chestnuts roasted by Dawn dead @ 06/17/2007 3:45 PM

Absinthe. I rarely go anywhere without it myself. However, if you really don’t like the taste, mix less in, with more sugar. Fuck the cubes. Pour in as much (or as little) sugar as you want/need. Also, it stirs in faster if you are of the impatient sort who would otherwise have to start the cube melting on your second glass before you’ve sipped from your first.
Also, as an aside, many of the swiss white absinthes aren’t quite as anise-y, and a little easier on your taste buds. I’ve not had sebor, but it appears to be a czech absinthe, which generally translates into lighter fluid. Do a little shopping online, find something from switzerland or france. People more in the know (read: have more money to try different things) have indicated that there ARE some decent czechs out there, but they’re few and far between.
Regardless, it’s such a pain to get it in this country these days, but sadly I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Chestnuts roasted by josh @ 06/18/2007 2:00 PM

Best article you ever wrote, Matt. Been reading your site for a few years; made a comment or two about your hatred of gobots and the undeniable excellence of shin ramyeon…anyways this is the best one I’ve read, and I’ve read quite a few…hope to see more like this in the future.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 06/18/2007 3:12 PM

good to see you back again. i was getting more and more frustrated checking back for new stuff.

i did get a cool link to retrocrush. great site.

not on par though. hehehehe

Chestnuts roasted by Ralph @ 06/18/2007 8:52 PM

In the article you mentioned memories of Niagara Falls. I spent Memorial Day there. Let’s just say the crowds were so huge that I spent the entire two days in there pressed up against my female companion. Why was she in front of me? Because she discovered early on that the lines were an excuse for random tourists to try to “inadvertently” rape you with their large cameras. So she stood in front of me starting with the Maid of the Mist and giggled her way through the line as every tourist on the face of the earth ended up trying to penetrate my rear end. Oh, those memories will never end! :X

Chestnuts roasted by JK @ 06/19/2007 10:32 AM

Awhile back someone mentioned “things” that can, umm, go up a guy’s urinary tract if he pees in rivers. I think I heard about those on Animal Planet’s “The Most Extreme”. I think it’s a type of small fish or worm (I forget what exactly too) that lives in the Amazon or someplace tropical, and…yeah, sometimes apparently they’ll call Mr. Happy home. Like I said, this is in the Amazon, but leeches are just about everywhere… Somehow water sex doesn’t sound quite so inviting to me. Oh yeah, that reminds me about blood flukes-they can enter both man and woman through your FEET. I’ll only ask you to turn to Wikipedia to find out more about those little horrors because then I’d be curled up in a quivering ball for the rest of the day. I just remembered why I don’t like going in the water that much…

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 06/20/2007 6:30 PM

Another epic review… I’ve been thinking about going on a cruise. All those fat white asses though… I don’t know if I can handle all the jean-shorts.

Chestnuts roasted by Coltyhuxx @ 06/21/2007 8:13 PM

Jean Shorts. You mean the pants that turn into shorts? Cause I have that.

Chestnuts roasted by Sam @ 06/22/2007 1:58 PM

Oh, here’s the Wikipedia article about those wondeful love bugs. Complete with a picture of them doing what they do best (besides smacking into windshields).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_bug

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 06/23/2007 2:50 PM

Hey Matt great artical ! cool pics! seeing your last pic i am sure it made the whole cruise worth it!!
i learned about the joys of a good cuban cigar when a friend and i took a one day road trip from iowa to canada just to get some cigars!
glad to have ya back
jay B

Chestnuts roasted by jay @ 06/29/2007 2:46 AM

I just went on a Norweigan Cruise: The Pride of Hawaii. It was excellent, and our food was always delicious, even in the buffet.

Chestnuts roasted by Anna @ 06/29/2007 1:48 PM

Nice article! I read the whole thing. I’ve never been on a cruise, but I’ve always wanted to go!

Chestnuts roasted by Daniel L. @ 01/13/2009 3:42 AM

Another awesome post – thanks

Chestnuts roasted by Kristi @ 11/11/2010 12:58 PM

I have never, ever wanted to go on a cruise. I have a completely rational fear of being stuck out in the middle of the ocean. What if I want to leave? What if it sucks? Too bad. You’re on a boat in the middle of the ocean. My nether regions shrink up into me just thinking about it. This article proves everything I’ve ever thought about cruises is true. Awful. It’s good to have it verified by a trusted source. Thank you. I’m going to show this to my wife next time she mentions it.

Chestnuts roasted by Pahntom Troublemaker @ 05/30/2011 3:17 AM

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