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06/11/2007: New Transformers and gum-related updates.

As a child, I spent a lot of time at my best friend’s house across the street — seemingly as much time as I spent in my own house. As such, I grew to know his family almost as an extension of mine…his uncles were my uncles and his cousins were my cousins.

At the tender age of five, and I swear I remember this, my “in” with his family worked wonders. One early afternoon, I pranced across the street onto his property as I so often did, and caught a glimpse of one of his aunts giving my friend and his two brothers each a Transformers “mini-car” — the smallest of the original figures, like Bumblebee and Cliffjumper and what have you. Jealousy burned my soul as I approached the porch, but unbelievably, his aunt got me one, too! I always wondered why I bothered to call his aunt Rose “Aunt Rose” when she really wasn’t my aunt…now it was all clear.

The figure she got me (or at least, the last figure left after everyone else called dibs) was named Huffer. Huffer wasn’t an incredibly important character on the cartoon, but he was free, so who gave a fuck. Easy to transform and perfectly pocket-sized, Huffer would go on to become one of my favorite action figures ever. He came with me everywhere, even after losing a few limbs. I mention this only because some of the new Transformers toys totally recapture the magic of the “small and simple” Autobot, and I’m glad that a new generation of kids will know what it feels like to have a robot close to their groin even when they’re being forced to tagalong on Home Depot lumber runs. Meet “Spy Shot 6,” one of the new “Real Gear Robots!”


(click here to see the packaged version in camera mode)

Transforming from a simple digital camera into a simple robot, Spy Shot 6 is the kind of toy that I can easily see kids carrying around forever and ever. The robot looks almost generic, and that lends itself to play sessions that went far beyond the mere struggle between Autobots and Decepticons. In effect, this kind of toy becomes a kid’s new little robot friend — a mechanical imp, meant less to engage in war and more to help get those pestilent little straws into Capri Sun pouches on the power of animism and hand support.

Some of the “Real Gear Robots” are bigger and more intricate, but the best ones aren’t. My favorite action figures never forced me to adhere to loyalties and personas set by a cartoon or movie. Instead, they were the ones with origins I got to completely make up on my own. I honestly don’t know if Spy Shot 6 is an “official” character or something they made up just for the toy collection, but it doesn’t matter. If you’ve got him in your pocket, he’s not concerned with energon cubes or Megatron’s master plan. He just wants to come to the zoo with you and pretend to photograph zebras even though he really can’t.

While I’m on the topic, I’ve been really blown away by all of the new Transformers movie toys. They have a distinct flavor about them — Hasbro is definitely positioning them more as “standard action figures” than traditional Transformers, even though they share the intricacies and gimmicks. Example being the new Starscream figure, which in size and shape is an absolutely perfect third wheel for any dinner dates between Donatello and Spirit World Aang. I’ve never been into the Tranny toys that felt more like puzzles than figures, so these new ones are aces.

Spy Shot 6 ran me seven bucks, which is the primary reason for this online petition.

In other news, remember that Big Red gum scandal I posted about a while back? You know, the one where a hundred people called me stupid for not realizing that the money shot of a white-striped piece of holy gum in all of those old Big Red commercials was actually meant to represent a stick of Dentyne? Click here for a refresher.

It just so happens that I own a pack of both the original Big Red and the original Dentyne gum, if for no other reason than to be the only person on the planet who does. With these artifacts, we can draw a few conclusions.

First, a screengrab from one of the old ads:


And below…chewable evidence!


Yup, it’s pretty clear that the “tiny” gum was meant to represent Dentyne, which couldn’t hold a candle to Big Red’s ENORMOUS size. The curveball is that the gum shown in the commercial wasn’t based on an actual stick of Dentyne, but rather, its packaging. And while the world weeps with the knowledge that there has never existed a gum with the white stripe as shown in the ads, it’s good to finally reach a catharsis on this issue.

Interestingly, the particular pack of old Dentyne I have boasts its new “bigger sticks,” which is almost certainly in direct response to all of the bad press they received from the Big Red people. I’d feel stupid for covering something so trivial, but I just turned on CNN and learned that Paris Hilton took a shit shaped like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story. I can drone on about gum if I want.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 94 comments

I never was much into the Transformers but I remember a bunch of kids carried them around while I was in elementary school. And they were “prizes” for reading or other things.

Ghosted by Jen @ 06/11/2007 2:57 PM EDT


First off, why would the petition be to make the Spy Shot 6 get a name change to Spy Shot 7, when you could petition it to be six bucks instead of seven? Wouldn’t it be nicer to have something that is already pretty cheap cheeper?

I said this last time, but I also thought that Big Red was supposed to have a white stripe on it, but I thought that’s how it was sold in the States. I’m glad to see things have been cleared up once and for all!

Ghosted by IHAQ @ 06/11/2007 2:57 PM EDT


I too longed for the “other gum” I used to attempt to recreate it by smearing used up mint down the center of fresh sticks of gum, but I never was able to perfect the technique.

Ghosted by Al @ 06/11/2007 2:59 PM EDT


So far all I have is the Optimash Prime. The only figure I really want is Barricade. Somehow this makes me sad. I guess the movie figures do nothing for me. Then again there is that advanced Bumblebee that transforms into the camaro concept…

Ghosted by 9Line @ 06/11/2007 3:03 PM EDT


Nice detective work done on the gum issue, Matt. Keep up the diligence. =)

Ghosted by eyeless @ 06/11/2007 3:04 PM EDT


I remember having candy cane bubble tape once. It had large, alternating pink and white stripes going lengthwise across the gum as I recall. Might be worth finding…

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 06/11/2007 3:15 PM EDT


I love the new Transformers movie figures, but alas…I don’t have the money for them.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 06/11/2007 3:16 PM EDT


If it makes you feel any better, I also coveted the coolest piece of gum in the world that had the awesome white stripe.

Of course, I got the whole Dentyne vs. Big Red thing but that’s what made it worse–I KNEW Dentyne didn’t look like that either and that somehwere out there, there must be a gum that looks that cool.

Ghosted by evilbeth @ 06/11/2007 3:20 PM EDT


Oh, and one more thing–I signed your petition. Viva la Spy Shot 7!

Ghosted by eyeless @ 06/11/2007 3:22 PM EDT


You talk about gum as much as you want. You’ve got chewable evidence for goodness sake.
Poor Nathan Bitner better be getting a check in the mail.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 06/11/2007 3:39 PM EDT


Transformers make no sense.
Gum makes sense.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 06/11/2007 3:41 PM EDT


I’d feel stupid for covering something so trivial, but I just turned on CNN and learned that Paris Hilton took a shit shaped like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story. I can drone on about gum if I want.

Lmao! Sad but true.. in this day and age X-e is probably about as close to hard hitting journalism as we’re gonna get!

Ghosted by dallasmovie @ 06/11/2007 3:53 PM EDT


I had Huffer and I loved him! It was the simple design man.

I say we make a petition to change 9Line’s name to 8Line and Squee4242 to Squee4141.

Ghosted by meepy @ 06/11/2007 3:54 PM EDT


This just in: There’s a new transformer that transforms into a white striped gum.

Ghosted by meepy @ 06/11/2007 3:56 PM EDT


I have always had a love/hate relationship with Transformers. It’s probably because I broke Megatrons leg off while transforming him on Christmas morning. This led to Dad’s life lesson #651, “Don’t force it.” This was preceded by lesson #650, “Once a rock leaves your hand, you have no control over it.”

Ghosted by Bill @ 06/11/2007 3:56 PM EDT


Hmm, when you say it cost 6 bucks, was it 6.99 or 5.99?

Ghosted by Wenthral @ 06/11/2007 4:21 PM EDT


The awesomeness of last weekend -winning a gift card to a shopping center that includes a Toys R’ Us- and the greatness of good friends have led me into having a small army of the new toys currently guard my living room. At first I was hesitant, as they felt so complicated at first, but now they have grown to become some of my favorite TF in my collection. Ironhide and Ratchet are my favorites, and Optimus is no joke either. Even the chicken-legged Starcream has grown on me. But 9Line: Barricade is my least favorite of the group. While he looks good in car mode, he doesn’t hold a candle to the weapons of mass destruction that are the rest of the Decepticons. And he has the least articulation of the group -his head doesn’t even turn!- which is inexcusable in a line that has another robot that goes form a solid toy truck into a super articulated god of awesome with a few clicks and turns.

And Matt: my friend’s son ‘bought’- meaning he picked it out and mommy paid for it- the little guy Longview (binoculars) and he has already gone on a trip or two. The best that night was to dinner and the pet store, where he videotaped everyone (he got the video camera guy) and I saw lions and alligators in the far back of the store. Nothing like putting a 6 year old and a 6 year old at heart together for good times to be had by all…

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 06/11/2007 4:30 PM EDT


Honestly, I thought they were comparing Big Red with Trident Gum. It’s interesting to be proven wrong.

Not to sure what to think about the Transformer movie. On one hand, I started watching cartoons after the Transformer fad and never really got into the later cartoon incarnations. Heck, never even owned a Transformer toy (other than the Splinter that could transform into the Turtle Van, and I was a big Turtles fan, which is why I had no problem seeing the new TMNT movie).

On the other hand, it does look kinda cool.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 06/11/2007 4:31 PM EDT


But…but my name rhymes. And speaking of breaking toys right when you get them, I totallytore copper kids arms right off after trying to get him to “wing it”. I promptly got chewed out as my newest toy was promptly thrown away. I did the same thing to my cousins only to find out years later that it happened to all copper kids. Stupid parents not knowing how to fix “broken” toys.

Ghosted by 9Line @ 06/11/2007 4:38 PM EDT


Transformers, Aunt Rose, gum, yeah great, now where can I find photoblogs of this Christmas Story Leg Lamp log?

My favorite action figures as a young lad were Red Sun from Inhumanoids and Leech from Masters of the Universe, but it was the old 1980’s Leech figurine, not this new modernized scary Leech, it was the one with the button on his back and the sucky face.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 06/11/2007 4:51 PM EDT


You have fine taste, fistpittingnork. But Granite beats Red Sun any day. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/11/2007 4:55 PM EDT


The toy makers really missed out when they could’ve have combined the Transformer’s cassette player guy with Pocket Rockers to make a changing robot who could actually play bad songs like the HORRIBLE CCR rip-off rendition in the commercial. Then they could’ve raised the creativity bar even higher and combined Transformers with Heart-to-Heart Bears and have loving robots with beating hearts

Ghosted by the politically correct concerned citizen Josh Ednoff @ 06/11/2007 5:05 PM EDT


I remember when my parents bought me a transformer. He was pretty simple; arms pulled out from the sides of the car, the hood of the car flipped down to form legs, and his head came out of where the car’s ass would be if car’s had asses. I didn’t like him much then, but honeslty, he held up so much better than Rat Trap whom I bought myself and fell apart from playing with him.

I still have bits of rat trap around here someplace, I’m sure of it.

Ghosted by RandomInsano @ 06/11/2007 5:11 PM EDT


My introduction to Transformers was similar to yours. I, too, was given one of the littler figures. It was a Bumblebee, and I got it long before I knew anything about Transformers at all. When I got to know more about the series, toyline, etc., I was very confused to find out that Bumblebee was yellow. My toy of him was red. I recently looked it up to see if this was some kind of super-rare variant. It’s not all that uncommon, it turns out. Oh well, Transformers never really caught my fancy anyway.

Ghosted by Thorzul @ 06/11/2007 5:18 PM EDT


It’s not super rare but the red Bumblebees (and yellow Cliffjumpers) were still decent to have. Why did I sell all my Transformers? :(

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/11/2007 5:26 PM EDT


This weekend I was a lucky recipient of 2 free movie passes to see Transformers when it comes out! woo! I’ve been on the fence about seeing it (as my friend puts it, I don’t like things that are popular) but hey, free passes to see 60 ft high talking cars. I’m in!

Speaking of toys, I had one of the last original April O’Neils, before they changed her design to having a orange stripe, from a blue one. My entire TMNT collection is still in my parent attic.

Ghosted by Ann @ 06/11/2007 5:39 PM EDT


If I found out Bumblebee was really yellow, I’d be confused as to why mine was red, rather why the other was yellow. After all, bumblebees are yellow aren’t they?

Ah, Cliffjumper….why did I destroy all my Transformers? :(

Ghosted by meepy @ 06/11/2007 5:39 PM EDT


I keep seeing all the giant Optimus toys everywhere. I can’t help but wonder how long it takes to transform him. Those darn Transformers commercials from yesteryear that showed kids transforming them in seconds confused me so much when I was little. I was young and stupid, not understanding they just sped the video up.

Oh, are you an Avatar fan Matt? I can’t help but be hopelessly in love with the series…

Ghosted by Aza @ 06/11/2007 6:44 PM EDT


I do most of the Avatar DVD commercials, and I’ve become very much into the show. :) Really great series.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/11/2007 6:47 PM EDT


I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I grew up with 3 boys/brothers across the street. Since I was all about the Transformers, my mom decided to start getting me the toys. Apparently she first checked to see which ones the boys had (all the good ones), so as to get me ones they didn’t(the not so good ones!). Wanna know who my first Transformer was? Sky Lynx. I could not figure that stupid thing out. I had no problems with the Lynx part but the stupid Dino-Bird loved to see me frustrated. Thankfully, I soon got the more desirable guys and was able to ignore Sky Lynx forever. I bet I could figure him out now though. Maybe.

Ghosted by MissJess @ 06/11/2007 6:58 PM EDT


I always wanted Perceptor. For some reason having a microscope seemed cool. Or maybe I did not understand what a microscope was. :(

Ghosted by Bill @ 06/11/2007 7:08 PM EDT


I saw Spy Shot 6 the other day, and considered buying him except I only wanted him if he’d really take photos. But he was a cute little fellow, I grabbed one and gave him a hug. I have this habit of skipping through toy aisles hugging things, and kicking a leg back as I squeal and make little fists in front of my face. My friends are really gonna love watching me go apeshit all over the NYC TRU next weekend.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 06/11/2007 7:09 PM EDT


I have Perceptor. Not all that fantastic. I always wanted the camera d00ds you had to send away for.

We always want what we can’t have *sigh*

Fort Max can still be yours for a Mystery Peanut, Matt. The offer will never be void ;)

Ghosted by K- @ 06/11/2007 8:33 PM EDT


I had Reflector, and he was definitely more cool on paper than in practise. From the G1 line, my other faves would be Ravage, Rodimus and Metroplex. Ravage especially.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/11/2007 8:37 PM EDT


I’m not a big fan of Transformers. My sisters and I would occasionally watch the show as kids, but not as obsessively as many other kids we knew. The closest things we had to the toys were the McDonalds toys that could change from a Big Mac or Chicken Nuggets container into a robot and vice versa.

I don’t know if it’s been mentioned, but Pepsi is doing a Transformers promotion. I’ve seen Transformers labels on some of the Pepsi bottles at the grocery store where I work.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 06/11/2007 9:03 PM EDT


My favs from G1 are all sitting above my desk. I’ve said this before, I sure:

Hot Rod
Rodimus
Blaster
Divebomb’s wings (I dunno, I found them abandoned in an department store and never looked back).

Ghosted by K- @ 06/11/2007 9:11 PM EDT


I like the Real Gear TFs a good deal but the actual movie bots are pretty blah to me. It’s not just that they’re different from the original counterparts, I’m fine with difference, it’s just the designs themselves. They’re pretty generic to me. Still, if others enjoy them, particularly the kids they’re aimed at, that’s cool by me. I’m not a big enough ass to actually let some robot designs I’m not crazy about ruin my life. Some people just go nuts over that sort of crap.

Ghosted by Ktulu @ 06/11/2007 9:13 PM EDT


HOLY SHIT! KTULU!!!!

Ghosted by K- @ 06/11/2007 9:17 PM EDT


For those of you unawares Ktulu is a cornerstone of the community over at FFShrine, a place I have been graciously tolerated for something on the order of 5 months now. He works amazingly hard to keep the TF thread (it’s HUGE) constantly updated. He’s cooler than I could ever hope to be, and I’m honored that he dropped by.

THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE WHEN WORLD’S COLLIDE :D

Ghosted by K- @ 06/11/2007 9:30 PM EDT


Ah, but is he that Ktulu, or just another fronter? ;)

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/11/2007 9:32 PM EDT


I can see that he’s online right now at Shrine, so I’m pretty sure.

Ghosted by K- @ 06/11/2007 9:43 PM EDT


as i recall in the episode Heavy Metal War, Huffer pulled Optimus’ trailer when he was weak from gettin his ass handed to him by Megatron who was illegally enhanced with the powers of the other Decepticons. I could’ve sworn Huffer carried his trailer in a couple other episodes too, but this is definitely something that should not be overlooked by those who doubt Huffer’s importance :)

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 06/11/2007 10:08 PM EDT


“but I just turned on CNN and learned that Paris Hilton took a shit shaped like the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.”

Matt, I had crappy day today (No pun intended), and this sentence made me laugh again. Thanks! :)

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 06/11/2007 10:44 PM EDT


Why, oh why, can’t I remember my TRANSFORMERS? I know which GO-BOTS I had but no TRANSFORMERS?? I even checked a picture gallery last weekend to jog my memory but nothing. I remember getting a TRANSFORMER or two for my 6th or 7th birthday but I don’t know who or what happened to them. I sold my GI Joes (WHY?!), I gave away my MOTU (WHY?!) and I kept my STAR WARS figures but no recollection of what happened to the TRANSFORMERS. :(

Legitimate question: Does anyone know when it became legal and/or acceptable to offically call out your competitors in commercials?? The aforementioned Dentyne vs. Big Red is a case in point. FOR YEARS, it was “Brand X” or “the other guys” but now, carte blanche to call out your opponent. Does anyone know??

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 06/11/2007 11:44 PM EDT


My fav G1s that I have: Jetfire, Shockwave, Megatron (kinda…like most people who had him, he too had his legs fall off), and Soundwave (G1 reissue, but still the G1 version, damnit!)

I also have 3 Perceptors…but only one of them is 100% complete (the other 2 are missing the scope itself and the knobs on his arms too)

Mystie, you are definately gonna love the NYC TRU. You will be definately be squealing there, especially at Geoffrey & that ferris wheel. And if you have time and energy, trek up to 58th & 5th for FAO Schwarz, which will definately not dissappoint, either. I was at both places on friday, and you can see my pics here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/galileo908/

Also, I thought it was spelled “Cthulu”

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 06/11/2007 11:57 PM EDT


Don’t question him yo :P

Also, you look like Tre Cool, Norbert.

Ghosted by K- @ 06/12/2007 12:20 AM EDT


Manimal: I think it started with Coke vs. Pepsi. Or at least that is what I would like to believe. Here is some info.
http://www.mlmlegal.com/chasing.html

Ghosted by Bill @ 06/12/2007 12:26 AM EDT


Interesting that Big Red made the “competitor’s” gum look so outlandish, seems it distracted people from their point to be made.

Hey Matt, I hope you get that article done on time, reading them is always a great way to end a day (rhyme not intended).

Ghosted by Adam @ 06/12/2007 12:40 AM EDT


YES! IMHO, it’s been far too long since Matt posted something purely TF related. It’s why I first started visiting the site, after all.

Personally, I don’t think I’ll be getting any of the new movie toys. I’m trying to save some money right now. Anyway, I’ve got a closet filled from floor to ceiling with TF toys that I bought, and I don’t really do anything with them. I don’t even put them on display, because I’m out of room and because visitors just think it’s too weird.

I was lucky enough to be in 2nd grade and the perfect age when Transformers really made it big. They were an integral part of my childhood, and I still look back on them with fondness. My best friend was really into GI Joe, so we got the best of both worlds- Transformers at my house and GI Joe at his. I had a little GI Joe stuff, and he had a little TF stuff, but we usually ended up trading.

I had a lot of the really great TFs, though I missed out on Sky Lynx, and I really wanted him. I picked up a bunch of the ones that missed a couple years ago when Takara started re-issuing them, but they were expensive. There’s a bunch more I’d like to get (including Perceptor), but they’re just a useless expense since I don’t actually play with them.

I had (and still have) Metroplex, Trypticon, Fortress Maximus, Scorponok, Jetfire, Omega Supreme, and a whole bunch of the smaller figures (including Huffer and his color variant, Pipes). My absolute favorite was of course Optimus Prime. It broke my heart when Mom accidentally stepped on him and broke his trailer. Anyone else have a parent break a favorite toy?

Ghosted by spaz307 @ 06/12/2007 12:53 AM EDT


Yes. My mom broke the purple light gun decepticon guy who stayed back on the Transformers planet with the vacuum (I apologize to all the hardcore fans for not remembering the names. I wasn’t that into Transformers back then, and my brain has whethered MANY drugs in between.) My mom’s response while I was screaming “Clean your damn room!”

Ghosted by the politically correct concerned citizen Josh Ednoff @ 06/12/2007 1:13 AM EDT


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