The X-Entertainment Blog!

05/09/2007: Tigers!

I’ve decided to quit the site; we’re shutting down in a month.

Actually, that’s not true. I’ve just been excessively busy and hoping for a reprieve, and to be perfectly honest, my office has become such a godforsaken mess that I feel like I’m breathing in toxic waste just by sitting at my desktop. No exaggeration. It’s awful in here. I’d prefer people to think that I’m just researching the scientific limit at which an enclosed space’s breathable air is rendered poisonous by soda cans filled with cigarettes, but the reality is that I just turn into a ridiculous slob whenever I’m near my computer.

I’m also terrible at cleaning anything, so tonight, I laid down the gauntlet. The woman has agreed to clean this infested box of filth for me this weekend, and in return, I’ll buy her whatever stupid cell phone/PDA/pointless electronic she’s after, even though I’m 100% certain that she will not use it for anything outside calling me, her sister and one of the two American Idol numbers for Melinda Doolittle.

If I’m going to write about old toys, I need a desk that doesn’t look like it’s been shit on by a sentient garbage truck.

I haven’t been too concerned about this, because by now I figure that the site’s readers understand that I have regular bouts of life-dominating apathy that transform me from a prolific writer to a pathetic slug. I think I’m pretty close to over that now, mainly because I spent a ton of money on various Spider-Man 3 food tie-ins that need to be paid tribute to before the moment passes. I’ll get to work on that in a bit, but for now, just know that I’m not dead.

Well that’s good to hear. Scared me a little with that first part though. But I understand. I’m kind of lazy too. It’s good that you’re not closing the site. It’s a favorite of mine and one of the first sites I visit everyday.

Long time reader, first time poster. Glad to see you’re still around; I’m looking forward to your Spider-Man 3 writings more than the movie itself.

Mneh. Spidey 3 needed less Symbiote and moar character development, and Harry should’ve been less pussyish. I just hope spiderman 4 will have carnage.

I nearly had a heart attack at that first sentence. Glad you’re alive, though.

DAMN, scared me with the first sentence! Please don’t shut down the site - I needs me a place with articles on Photog and Transformers underoos and whatnot.

Don’t make jokes like that, Matt. That scared me more than almost every horror-related article you’ve ever written combined.

Glad to see you up and around. There are just times in life when you don’t feel like doing anything. I can’t remember when I last made my bed, there’s old computer disks and random recipts scattered all over my desk, and my locker at work is a collection of grocery lists, store flyers, water bottles, and lists of things us cashiers are supposed to do when we have time (but most don’t).

You know, I never realized how much I loved this site until that first sentence made me have a moment of near-panic. So I’m glad you’re not closing up shop…and also, I’m going to try and get out more

Haha. Shame on you for believing that for a second. Matt wouldn’t be that blatent.

Happy WNT, I’m going to attention whore and tell you that today’s my birthday. yup *nods*

Just wanted to send a shout out that I’m also glad the site isn’t closed. I’ve been a fan for the past 4 years. Keep up the good work, even if it’s not as prolific.

My computer took a few seconds to load the entire page and I had a mini heart attack at the first sentence. Shutting down the site would be horrible for my sanity: I need the occasional confirmation that yes, someone else fondly remembers that god-awful TMNT cereal from the 90s. Sounds like my desk at work, tho.

Ahh my terrifying claws rest after clanging together in anticipation. Glad you’re alive.

The world would indeed be a bit darker without X-Entertainment; all I’d have left is I-Mockery, which is pretty much a poor man’s version of this site.

Thank goodness that first part was not true! I too also was freaked out for a split second! Thanks for letting us know you are still alive Matt!

Thank you for acknowlaging your alive. And thank you for a million blogs and articles. Amd for givin us a place to discuss toys and food and whatever the topic meanders into. Which I think this time should meander into the topic of what we have that is a filthy pit in our worlds.

That’s all understandable. I thank you too for all the great articles so far. They are all well written and you have a very good vocabulary. This site has been on my bookmarks for about five years now and one of the sites that got me addicted to the internet when I first discovered it. Thanks again.

Not dead FTW! yeah I think I was the sentient garbage truck when I read that first line… glad to see it’s not so.

I have been forced into a position in which I am cleaning my apartment on a more regular basis than I would like. See, I am switching apartments at the end of the month, and my current landlord is having showings. This means that if I want to have my life uninterrupted by further showings, keeping the place as neat as possible is to my advantage. This also means daily dishes (not weekly) and vacuuming while you can still see more than 50% of the carpet. Actually, that’s not entirely true, I’m the neat one in the relationship. The woman (to use Matt’s phrase) will have to step it up a notch when we move in together. Any suggestions on this?

Filthy Pit? My room/lair/cave of course. I can hardly turn around in here. That is the way I like it.

Get my television fix
Sitting on my crucifix
The living room in my private womb
While the moms and Brads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and mary jane
To keep me insane, doing someone else’s cocaine

Don’t say shit like that man! For a minute there I thought that you were pulling a Phil Hendrie on us all. If you ever go then that means 2 of the worst things ever to go is X-E, and The Phil Hendrie Show.

“Bring out your dead…
-’Ere, he says he’s not dead.
-Yes he is.
-I’m not.
-He isn’t.
-Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
-I’m getting better.
-No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment…
-I feel happy…I fell happy…”

This site closing down would be one of the saddest things. I’ve tried other nostalgic websites, but yours will always be #1, Matt.

I saw Spidey 3 on IMAX today. I liked it, but I also agree with everyone’s problems with it. Too many villains, too much Peter Parker angst, Topher Grace was miscast, and Tobey being “dark” by acting like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever was laughable.

Yeah, that scared me too. Without X-E how will I be able to vicariously enjoy expired food without the danger and unpleasant side effects of actually eating it.

Gunblader: I Mockery truly is the poor man’s X-E, To use a cola metaphor the store brand generic to Matt’s Coke. Rea — Drinkable, but not preferred.

Glad you’re not dead Matt, but I really never thought anything was up…I remember times of far more than two week without updates!

On one hand, I want Melinda to win because I love her; on the other, I want her not to win because she won’t be ruined if she doesn’t win, and she could have a good career. I’m torn.

I thought it was ok. Definately not bad, but not “F’ing awesome best movie ever!” either. Definately worth checking out. There was some great humor (Every scene with J.J.J. was great, as was Bruce Cambell’s obligatory cameo), as well as lots of unintentional ones. There was a good number of parts where I thought “This shouldn’t have been here” but I won’t say what they are…but you’ll know them when you see them. There was one brief shot of Spider-Man in front of the American flag…just reeked of cheesiness.

As for the special effects…There were times when Spidey looked very cartoonish, while the effects for Sandman & Venom were fantastic and definately looked like money well spent. Sandman was great, and with good casting with Thomas Hayden Church. Venom, however…as badass as Venom is/was in the movie, Topher Grace is NOT Venom! Eddie Brock, yes, but not Venom. Just hearing that whiney high-pitched voice coming out of Venom…ouch.

To those that said of Pussy Harry (I liked that it seemed like a good combo of Good Harry and Goblin Harry), he’s got nothing on Emo Venom. Fortunately, the pussiness is NOT in the Venom form. Full-blown Venom was awesome and terrifying, but they should’ve done more with him (and it hints that he’ll be back). There’s also Emo Peter Parker, who seems to think imitating “Saturday Night Fever” counts as Emo.

When me & my friend came out of the movie, a guy behind us was saying things like “I got my dose of Estrogen today” and “You came in here with pants and you’re leaving with a skirt.”

seriously that first sentence was very upsetting. thank god i kept reading. i really don’t think the internet would be the same if there were no XE.

I would like to wish a happy birthday to our very own Kneggy. May your future hold no Bitners.

I saw the first sentance, and nearly shat out my heart. Thank Motu, god of action figures that you’re keeping this going.

i’m gonna state here and now that white suits and platform shoes are the new emo dress code. in other news happy birthday K since I haven’t seen anyone else say it.

I went to play tennis today and there was what most would call an ‘emo’ kid playing with a group of very ‘prep’ type kids. It was odd. But he kicked all their asses, hair in his face and all…..

Let’s say worst case scenario occurs and you did die, can I have that giant strawberry syrup bottle you picked up in Atlantic City 4 years back to decorate your place with? I’d take good care of it.

Hi I’m a newbie and I love this site! I kind of stumbled across it last Saturday and I’ve been reading backlog stuff all week. Glad to know you’re still kicking. Now just stay that way! Oh and Spider-Man 3 was the best!

It took me about a year to read through every article Matt has put on this site. I’ve got an entire bookmark folder full of my fav articles. They help me make it through the day at work which is where I’m at 99% of the time I’m on this site (like right now).

My favorites are his Saved by the Bell articles, especially “Screech’s Stupid Birthday”.

phew! thank god you’re back. i cried a tear every time i opened the page and saw that shin bowl.

I know what you mean by bouts of apathy. I was making writeups on very wonky video games, and it was supposed to be twelve of them, but I stopped after six.

I’d like to see one about Family Matters or Step By Step or any of those we thought were good back then, but in retrospect were meh.

Never quit, Matt! I may be drunk, but I am sincere when I say that you are one of my favorite writers and am proud that I can read you in the Wilmington News Journal every once in a while… Otherwise I will take over. I can write about Jones Soda new switch over to CANE SUGAR (please tell me it involves the new Holiday flavors), and other things…Mainly Pepsi Summer Mix…C’mon give me a break!

I’ll jump on the MattLove bandwagon as well. A shit day is often forgotten as a result of a good X-E article, message or blog post. I read this site every day. I purposely try not to get to the last post on the message board before a new thread is started so I always have a few new comments to read.

You gave us all a scare, man. I hope no War of the Worlds type suicides occurred as a result. A dangerous game my friend… a dangerous game.

Oh Matt!!! After reading that first line I began to ponder the various means that I could employ to end my life.
Thankfully you were only jesting.
After being granted such a reprieve I look forward to my second chance at life. I endeavour to be more productive and to make some sort of contribution to society, eventually.
Please keep doing what you’ve done so well for the last few years. It’d be a shame for this site to one day shut-down. I do understand that you’re a busy man and have other projects that demand your attention. For what it’s worth, just consider that many of us look forward to your articles and find your site to be as refreshing as a dip in the pool at the playboy mansion on a hot summer day.
I give you props for maintaining this site for so long and sincerely hope that you find the strength to continue your periodic postings. You’re my favorite writer of all time, or at least you’re neck and neck with Gregg Easterbrook (TMQ) but I give you the tie-breaker for the fact that you’re half his age.
I’ll continue to browse your archives. Thanks for the many hours of reading pleasure that you’ve provided me. Take care.

Boy, if this site HAD closed, it would’ve been just a topper to my month of suckitude that started on 9 Apr. But it didn’t, and my remaining cat is kidney-damaged but still alive, and someone’s going to send me a graphic tablet, so YAY!

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