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Big Red Gum’s Big Red Lie.

You know what used to really tick me off? Big Red gum.

Now, I've come to adore Big Red. Big Red helps keep secret smoke breaks secret. But, as a child, I wanted to kill the people responsible for Big Red, who tricked me over and over and over and over again with this one eensy little unforgettable image seen in practically every one of the gum's television commercials throughout the '80s:


Big Red is, was and always has been slices of all-red gum of the most basic kind. But the commercials always included the fancy image of the red-and-white striped, sent-from-God stick of gum seen above, and time and time again, I'd buy packs of Big Red expecting what was inside to finally reflect the holy image from the ads. It never happened.

I've spent my entire life wondering what I was missing. Was it supposed to represent the wrapper? Well, of course not, because you can see the wrapper in the very same image. Why was Wrigley's obsessed with perpetuating the idea that Big Red had a big, nice, shiny white stripe when in fact it never had such a stripe? Most importantly, how did I fall for this so many times?

Don't mean to make a mountain of minutiae, but I was a kid, and for every time I went for a pack of Big Red on the false promises of a fun stripe, I passed up a much tastier pack of Bubblicious. Sometimes even Paradise Punch Bubblicious. That's plain wrong.

Click here to watch the lousy lying stupid commercial.

UPDATE: Apparently my brain hasn't been functioning properly for the past few decades. As readers have pointed out, the heavenly red & white striped gum is meant to represent Big Red's puny competitor. I don't know how this flew by me. I'm ashamed. But I think we can at least all admit that their representation of the competition is far cooler than what they were trying to peddle. It looks like plastic!

Posted by Matt on 04/05/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 97 comments

The real kicker with the Escaflowne box was the fact it was super hyped at the time, and I too didn’t particularly enjoy the movie either. Not until I had seen the entire series and then watched it afterwards. The movie is a reimagining of the series in a shortened form. The thing that irked me even more was when Bandai rereleased the series in a box package set that INCLUDED the movie for the same price I paid for JUST the movie. I bought it though, loved the series and had a new appreciation for the movie afterwards but man, it wasnt worth that initial ridiculous investment for a DVD of extras I never watched and a soundtrack I never cared to listen to. Blegh.

The Fox version was HEAVILY edited. I have no idea why they chose that for Saturday morning fodder, it seems too inappropriate and would need massive editing. Thats probably why they abandoned it, that and low ratings.

Oh and to stay on topic, I absolutely hate gum. Its so gross.

Chestnuts roasted by kittygirl @ 04/05/2007 9:07 PM

They still have candy cigarettes down here, but the packages no longer attempt to mimic real cig packs, and they’re called “candy stix” instead. Got pictures of the Statue of Liberty and fighter jets and things on the boxes. Worst of all, they no longer dye the ends red to make it look like the coal of a burning cigarette. Kids who wish to look cool have no idea which ends to stick in their mouths. They still taste a bit like solidified Pepto Bismol, though, so I still pick them up every now and again.

On a related note, “Stranger Than Fiction” made me want to start smoking just so I could someday use the line “No, see, I don’t need nicotine patches. I smoke cigarettes.”

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 04/05/2007 9:11 PM

At the store today, I see that Shrek Cheetos are back–you know, the ones that turn your tongue green.

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 04/05/2007 11:07 PM

Shrek is starting to make his way into all foods again. Even Push Up Pops.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 04/05/2007 11:17 PM

They still make Ouch Gum and everything. It’s usually relegated to the novelty candy section at the grocery store.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 04/05/2007 11:23 PM

Don’t be ashamed, actually, I always thought the same thing! And I’d be disappointed when the real gum didn’t have the cool stripe. It’s odd, when I was younger, I used to chew gum all the time, but now I think I hate it… I bought some at the airport last week and have only chewed 3 pieces since, and even then I only chewed them for about 4 minutes.

Chestnuts roasted by Ariel @ 04/05/2007 11:51 PM

IN MY POCKET…MONSTER IN MY POCKET. Worst. Theme. Ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 04/05/2007 11:54 PM

Trix Pops make me wanna scream IT’S SHOW TIME!

Chestnuts roasted by Sting @ 04/06/2007 1:42 AM

The competitor is Dentyne. It used to come in a foil pack with those small pieces lined up. They may have looked smaller but they were as thick as 2 or 3 pieces of Big Red.

Dentyne comes in individually foil & bubble packed chicklet type pieces now. For all of you that always wanted to try the ‘competitor’

Chestnuts roasted by Marty @ 04/06/2007 5:38 PM

As I was reading the story I knew it was the other guys gum. I knew that when I was 6 years old. Try getting your facts straight sir….. BTW I like BIG RED better then the stupid white stripe.

Chestnuts roasted by Bobbysox @ 04/06/2007 6:21 PM

These new cinnamon flavored gums are chewed to freshen a person’s breath.

Chestnuts roasted by Ric Romero @ 04/06/2007 8:06 PM

Now that I’m looking at the “competitors” gum (and like everyone else I agree that they are referencing trident) , I think its made to look like what a pack of trident looks like (well, what it looked like back in the 80′s and early 90′s), white in the center with the color of the flavor on the top and bottom.

Chestnuts roasted by Anita @ 04/06/2007 9:34 PM

Cinnaburst AND Mintaburst or whatever the name was had edible wrappers.

Hmm…I used to be fond of Mintaburst as a kid (loved the little minty spots in it), and I don’t remember the wrappers being edible. Was that a limited time thing, or maybe something they came out with later?

And while we’re on the subject, do they still make the stuff today? I never see it promoted the way it used to be.

Chestnuts roasted by Nyssa @ 04/07/2007 2:02 PM

I know Botan rice candy has a rice edible wrapper on them that melts away in your mouth, from what I’ve heard. But that aint gum but close. I know I have heard of people thinking that the wrapper is edible and it’s not, if you like the nasty taste of paper then be my guest. I guess when I finally get chocodiles I’ll try to get big red soda all in one swoop.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 04/07/2007 5:16 PM

I miss Cinna*Burst. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/08/2007 3:40 AM

It’s ok, I always thought it was Big Red too. I thought they were lying jerks too.

Chestnuts roasted by Bree @ 04/11/2007 2:21 AM

Yeah, I thought it was supposed to be Big Red. They really should’ve pointed that out, because I knew a guy who painted his truck red with a white stripe down the middle. The name on the truck? “Big Red.”

Similarly, a long time ago Golden Grahams featured marshmallows mixed in with the cereal on their boxes. Boy was I pissed when I poured a bowl of Golden Grahams and no marshmallows came out.

Chestnuts roasted by Draca @ 04/12/2007 4:02 AM

You are not alone my friend. Today is the first day of my life that I now know the striped gum is not Big Red. WTF!? I never bought the stuff but assumed they changed the way it looked recently because I’ve had friends give it to me. The striped gum always looked better which is why I assumed it was Big Red.

Chestnuts roasted by iwanttofitin @ 04/12/2007 12:03 PM

Hi, long time listener, first-time caller –

Seeing that pic brings back memories. I fondly remember the narration of the commercial now, or at least the beginning of it, “No little cinnamon gum [small piece is displayed] freshens breath longer than Big Red.[BIGGER Big Red piece is thrust into view]” .

“Big Red ” the soda, is, well, RED flavored. ‘Nuff said. Always make sure to pick up some when I see it.

Oh, and Draco, you might be thinking of “S’mores Crunch” or “S’mores Grahms” , 2 different graham-based incarnations of the same cereal that i first remember in the 80′s. (Matt? Write-up possibility?) MUCH MUCH better than the toxic puffy smores cereal that’s out there now.

Chestnuts roasted by Adam M @ 04/22/2007 12:46 PM

It is, in fact, Dentyne Red. Label here.

Chestnuts roasted by Annie @ 04/28/2007 3:50 PM

i f’n LOVE big red…how depressing is that?? i feel your pain homie!

Chestnuts roasted by Flaily ! @ 03/10/2009 3:36 PM

So I just got into a HUGE argument at work around this, and then was SHOCKED when I read the update, since the last time I read the article there was no update.

Who the hell puts the competitor’s gum in YOUR commercial. I thought big red came with the stripe, and I was 8 so who the hell listens to the commercial guy during the commercial at that age anyway.

Regardless thank you for the post because I thought just like you, but this asshole at work turned out to be right about the comparison.

Stupid ass big red.

Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 04/03/2009 2:00 PM

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