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03/24/2007: I don’t want to think about Doritos when I’m talking to Spider-Man.

We didn’t go see the new Ninja Turtles movie last night as planned. Wish I had a good reason for that, but it really just boiled down to becoming obsessed with reading about various Mortal Kombat characters on Wikipedia. For real. I’m also now faced with really, really wanting to see The Hills Have Eyes 2 whenever I step foot inside a movie theater, so I’m going to pretend that I’ll actually go through with seeing two movies in succession on some nearby Saturday afternoon, when the reality is that I probably won’t see either movie until they’re packaged with exclusive mini-posters as Best Buy DVD exclusives seven months from now.

More importantly, Spider-Man called me this morning.


What an awesome promotion. Today marks the in-store debut of Spider-Man 3 toys, and Hasbro has just been totally godlike in their promotional brilliance. For one, each of the major chains has their own “exclusives.” I think Wal-Mart bests TRU and Target — they’ve got some really cool black-costumed ultra-articulated Spider-Man figure that looks like the kind of thing that needs to be gracing the top of every geek’s computer monitor by the end of the weekend. It’s a safe bet that thousands of collectors zipped to all three stores this morning just to grab the exclusives, and I’m having trouble deciding if I’m happy or sad that I missed all of the hubbub. At the very least, I hope to own a “Spider Spud” Mr. Potato Head by the next time I shave.

Among the many clever ways that Hasbro has instilled a sense of urgency in the toy-buying public is something that I think people will remember for years and years and years. If you were smart enough to enter your phone number on a special promo site, you are one of the blessed souls who received a phone call from Spider-Man early this afternoon. I, of course, couldn’t resist.


My phone rang at about 12:20, and I was subsequently treated to a 45 second prerecorded Spidey message reminding me that his new toys are now on sale! Yes! Sure, it’s just blog fodder for me, but think about all the kids who got that call today. It’s something they’ll be writing about on their own nostalgia sites twenty years from now. Some would argue that we shouldn’t dilute the heroism of Spider-Man by making him personally shill action figures and playsets, but who better to inspire people to buy Spider-Man dolls than Spider-Man himself? Aside from the obvious consumer awareness aspect, Spider-Man just has the perfect salesy voice. I’d pay a sawbuck for dog shit if he told me to.


In another great albeit totally unrelated promotion, the folks at Frito-Lay are letting us choose between two new Doritos flavors. After tallying up our votes online, one of the currently limited edition flavors will become a permanent fixture…and the other…will DIE. The new flavors include “Wild White Nacho” and “Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ,” and the former beats the latter in every category from taste to packaging design to personal bias. I will be extremely surprised and suicidal if the BBQ chips win the election, because it’s not just that Wild White Nacho Doritos are better…the other ones just flat out suck. If there is an invisible line in the sand marking the point at which something tastes way too much like concentrated barbecue sauce powder, Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ Doritos doesn’t just cross it — it crosses it, turns around, pisses liquid chipotle all over it and performs an annoying touchdown dance. Do the future of junk food a favor — vote for Wild White Nacho Doritos.


In other news, an article of mine is in this month’s ToyFare Magazine (#117), titled “Best of the Beast.” It’s a three-page look back at Battle Beasts, one of my very favorite toylines ever. There ain’t a heck of a lot of new information in the piece if you’re already a big fan of the toys, but I did get to make a decent joke about one of the figures looking like the company logo of a bad fried chicken restaurant.

Let’s call this one an early start to the Saturday Night Thread.

Oh, I booked a cruise for later this year. We’re on the Norwegian Spirit. Anyone have any experience with Norwegian cruises? Discuss in the comments, please. I know they’re not the greatest line, but they’re way cheaper than most of the others, and I’m pretty sure I’d be satisfied vacationing on a floating dumpster so long as it got me away from real life for a week.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 201 comments

lol, i saw that this morning too, i want the other one! I will call it ‘fluffy’ because naming a shark ‘fluffy’ would be deliciously absurd

Ghosted by flabslapper @ 03/29/2007 11:42 AM EST

Matt — Some quick tips on cruising … Duty Free Shopping is freakin’ awesome if you smoke or drink. Stock up on duty free smokes and cheap booze on board. I came in through the NYC terminal from my last Canadian cruise with 12 bottles wrapped in my dirty clothes. I was oh, 10 bottles over our customs limit. And I got all that booze for under $100. If I still smoked, I’d have done the same thing with those too.

Norwegian is real big on their stupid souvenir cups but drinks are usually about 40% cheaper if you order them in glassware. The downside is that NCL usually has some pretty nifty souvenir cups. I tossed most of the plastic hurricane-type cups but have kept the little martini shaker-style one they had because it’s a quick and easy way to mix up drinks without fully busting into the bar kit.

Don’t bring beach towels, they’re provided for you. They’re in your cabin when you get there and if you get it wet or dirty or what have you, you can exchange them on the pool deck for a clean one.

Casino opens once you’re 15 miles out to sea. The rule of thumb for playing slots is play early becaue that’s when they pay. The machines are usually on the take on the last night and everyone who hasn’t played tends to play THAT night so it’s usually crowded.

The best food in the regular dinning room is usually served at formal night. Don’t be afraid to ask for two entrees or appetizers.

Where are you going, BTW? If you’re leaving out of NYC, I can give you tips on navigating that terminal too.

Ghosted by LemurCat @ 03/29/2007 11:45 AM EST

So, LemurCat, NCL is doing it best to help you know where your towel is?

On the Mirage Studios site, you can read the original black and white TMNT books, at least the first couple of issues.

TV show I’d like to see: “To Catch An Alien vs To Catch A Predator.”

Ghosted by kingklash @ 03/29/2007 12:39 PM EST

I took Matt’s advice and voted for the white nacho doritoes. they make you go through a lot of superfluous shit at that site to vote. Didn’t think I’d have to register to vote for freaking chip flavors.

Ghosted by Mike @ 03/29/2007 1:10 PM EST

NCL is doing it best to help you know where your towel is?

Those Zarkin’ Froods!

Ghosted by K- @ 03/29/2007 1:40 PM EST

All because they love all those fiddly bits around the fjords. They won an award, you know.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 03/29/2007 2:20 PM EST

Fiery Habanero Doritos RULE, and not as spicy as you would think.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 03/29/2007 3:17 PM EST

Just found the BBQ Cheddar Doritos at a local store (no sign of Wild White). Personally, I love the BBQ Cheddar, but I’ll reserve final judgement until I try wild white.

Ghosted by StefanGrey @ 03/29/2007 4:15 PM EST

Matt,
The woman and I did a Holland America cruise this winter to Australia. It was pretty fun but was filled with old folks… average age of 65. Make sure you are going in a normal time when other “young people” have off.

Ghosted by primusboy @ 03/29/2007 5:18 PM EST

It’s official, Vault Red Blitz is awesome. I need 7 more caps for a free one…

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 03/29/2007 5:25 PM EST

I don’t know a thing about cruises – I’ve never gone, nor have I wanted to – but I just happened to run across a bit of news that should make Norwegian the obvious choice.

http://blog.wired.com/games/2007/03/norwegian_cruis.html

Ghosted by Tougi @ 03/29/2007 6:12 PM EST

I don’t know how I feel about Wii on that big of a screen.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 03/29/2007 6:20 PM EST

TMNT rocked! Those of you who don’t see it while it’s on the big screen are missing out. The character development and animation was unreal. Took a minute to get used to, but it was amazing.

Matt: If you do not see this movie, you have not lived. HYPE, HYPE, HYPE!!! RUUUUN!

Ghosted by Matt(#2?) @ 03/29/2007 6:52 PM EST

kingklash wrote:So, LemurCat, NCL is doing it best to help you know where your towel is?

Something like that. I know they charge you like $25 if you lose one/steal one/leave one on shore.

Ghosted by LemurCat @ 03/29/2007 8:34 PM EST

I just saw TMNT and was wondering, does anyone else think Splinter looked an awful lot like Chester Cheetah?

Ghosted by kb @ 03/29/2007 10:22 PM EST

kb

Yeah, there’s a thread a the Penny Arcade forums that has a photoshop the cheetah with Splinter. It’s a dead ringer…

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 03/29/2007 10:40 PM EST

Best double feature EVER…when I was 10 I saw TRON with CLASH OF THE TITANS for freakin’ sakes!!! (Carl). At a drive-in, no leaa!! Ahh, 1984 rocked…
And also, I’m drunk.

Ghosted by Another Matt @ 03/29/2007 11:35 PM EST

Not sure about Splinter, but Winters looked like the dad from The Incredibles with black hair.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 03/29/2007 11:43 PM EST

Cameron T. –
But does he look like the Cheat (TM Homestar Runner)?

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 03/30/2007 11:26 AM EST

and the blonde cheerleader girl from heroes used to be a child actor on guiding light (soap opera) as “Lizzie” spaulding. When I first started watching Heroes I kept on thinking who is that girl, also on those makeup commericals. I had to look it up before I remembered!! For the record, my Grandma watches that show lol. I love on the internet like imdb.com you can go to one show, look at the cast members and then click on them to see what else they’ve been in. I have used that at last 10 times at emergency type of moments.

Ghosted by Goob @ 03/30/2007 12:15 PM EST

i just had shoulder surgery on monday and am still feeling the massive effects of them drilling stuff into my bones and what not. also i’m on extra strength vicodin which is nice. i have tried neither of the doritos but still somehow feel that i’d like the BBQ ones better. I also have yet to see TMNT, and K- you are officially my hero for making and off hand hitchhikers guide to the galaxy reference.

Ghosted by danny @ 03/30/2007 1:13 PM EST

I hope Matt’s girlfriend knows how lucky she is….. *sigh*

Ghosted by Citygirl @ 03/30/2007 1:35 PM EST

How can you possibly be serious about the white nacho doritos?!? If for no other reason than they taste identicle to orange nacho doritos but are a different color. At least the smokey bbq cheddar is flavored differently from everything else on the market. I swear if people vote for white nacho and there are 2 exact same tasting nacho chips on the market with the only difference being that one is white and somehow wild I am gonna go nuts. Sorry, I just feel very passionate about this issue and think that the smokey flavored ones may be the greatest snack ever….and I am still miffed that Nabisco took Bacon flavored crackers off the market.

Ghosted by sublimesting @ 03/30/2007 1:57 PM EST

Left Canada at 10 AM Thursday…didn’t stop driving for more than 20 minutes the whole time…arrived in Michigan at 7 AM the next day (today!). 21 hours. Whew.

We stopped at so many strange gas stations, and I ate chocolate bars that we can’t get in Canada (Fast Break, Whatchamacallit, etc.) Today I must try these new Doritos flavors…:)

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 03/30/2007 3:01 PM EST

Weighing in on the whole Doritos flavor thing, I must say that I tend to prefer all things BBQ, so I will probably prefer BBQ Cheddar, as I already prefer Ranch over Nacho Cheesier. And, for those of you who follow taquitos.net, the snack chip ratings page, their reviewer weighs in with this:

Taste: I’m a big critic of Frito-Lay for making all of their Doritos flavors taste nearly the same, with just different combinations of ingredients. That said, this new flavor tasted different, with just enough of the familiar taste to know that you’re still eating a Dorito. The chips were still yellow with red-orange seasoning (like the Nacho Cheese flavor), but this flavor had a really good barbecue taste — it reminded me of the smoky barbecue potato chip from Herr’s. This is going head-to-head with the Doritos Wild White Nacho flavor in the “Fight for the Flavor” and I wouldn’t be disappointed if this chip stayed around for a while, because the taste is good enough to last beyond the limited-time-only stage.

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 03/30/2007 3:14 PM EST

Muppet Baby –

Dang, how far North do you live, that it takes you 21 hours driving straight, just to make it to Michigan? You must live pretty close to Hudson Bay!

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 03/30/2007 3:17 PM EST

Well, I think I’ll try the Doritos later today. Both at the same time. There’s you your double feature!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 03/30/2007 3:29 PM EST

Citygirl brings up a good point, how many flirtatious comments do you get on a regular basis because of this site? Also I hope to be the first heterosexual man to tell you that you are sexy, a comment I reserve only for Brad Pitt in Fight Club and that balck dude from Andrameda, oh and Kevin Sorbo’s chest in Hercules

Ghosted by flabslapper @ 03/30/2007 3:42 PM EST

Pssshhh… if I had to listen to Matt whine about how far away the remote is all day, I’d totally expect a cruise out of the deal.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 03/30/2007 3:47 PM EST

flabslapper sorry to dash your hopes but you’re about as straight as a circle

Ghosted by casey @ 03/30/2007 3:56 PM EST

I’m going on a cruise in December thats stopping off in tbe Bahamas and Jamaica. Not sure which company though.

Watching Montel one day, he did a show about cruises and suggested everybody hire a lawyer before you ever go on a cruise. He interviewed people who have been beaten, raped, killed, etc.. on cruises and the staff does nothing about it, which seems a little out there for me to believe, but remembering my Cancun trip, I guess anything is possible. One guy was 18 or 19, the staff let him into the bars, he’d get kicked out after he got drunk enough, then go to another bar, have a couple more drinks, get kicked out, and then wound up falling over the side of the boat and died. The cruise company destroyed security tapes showing this and nobody knew how he died for a couple years until a witness came out and told their story.

I’m not getting a lawyer, if I fall into the water and die, atleast I went down like the greatest American hero who may or may not have ever existed… Jack Dawson.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 03/30/2007 4:25 PM EST

Danny: Kingklash started the chain, and finished it. Plus, he’s been a huge fan for a long time. I’m honestly really new to Hitchhiker’s. I read them for the first time last year. Kudos to Kingklash the master of all culture worth knowing about. One of X-E’s most valuable resources. But thank you nonetheless.

Alright, alright, I’m done ass-kissing. We all love ya KK.

Re: Straight Guys admiring other Guys–Keanu, Cusack, Hugh Jackman. Matt’s a good looking dude, though :D

Ghosted by K- @ 03/30/2007 5:06 PM EST

in other news i have a greater appreciation for kingklash, and also i have possibly the greatest girlfriend ever in the whole history of the relationships. since i’m recovering she brought me a meet the robinsons and a marvel universe coloring book so i have something to do. also i figured out why matt suddenly signed up for norwegian cruise lines, it was an under the radar but i figured it out, click my name to see the great secret revealed.

Ghosted by danny @ 03/30/2007 6:37 PM EST

danny –

tougi stole your thunder about 24 hours before you posted that… :-\

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 03/30/2007 7:34 PM EST

Old Jim- I live in New Brunswick, Canada- so I am quite EAST of Michigan, hence the 21 hours of driving.

I agree with what Matt said about riding a dumpster so long as it lets you avoid real life for a week- I utterly enjoyed my 21 hours in the car as it was an escape from ‘real life’! Doing the same 21 hour route on the way home will not be as fun, however…

Damn- that big screen Wii action on the cruise line looks like that scene from “The Island” with Ewan McGregor…

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 03/30/2007 9:33 PM EST

Open mouth, insert foot… If you will forgive the impertinence of a poor, sleep-deprived Yank who has not had the chance to read every SNT entry in the X-Entertainment blog, how come you don’t visit New England once in a while, as that is a relatively short border crossing, as opposed to Michigan, which, not being sure of my facts, I’m guessing involves a visit to friends or relatives.

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 03/30/2007 10:41 PM EST

I have finally tasted the Caramel Creme Pepsi Jazz…and I can tell you it tastes just like Diet Pepsi with a slightly better aftertaste. :P I had no luck whatsoever with finding either Dorito flavor.

Ghosted by Moony @ 03/30/2007 11:44 PM EST

Minor update on my taste test:
It also makes your mouth taste like an aluminum can for at least half an hour (and counting) after you finish drinking, and this taste does NOT surrender to water…ugh, never again. :P

Ghosted by Moony @ 03/31/2007 12:11 AM EST

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-Star-Wars-Huge-Lot-1970-80-90-70-items-NR_W0QQitemZ280099252225QQcategoryZ49013QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

I’m not a star wars fan but I love looking at the merchandise sometimes. If I had that kinda money to spend on something so, um, carelessly I would be interested. Looks like good stuff!!

Ghosted by Goob @ 03/31/2007 12:31 AM EST

Dude, I had some of those bbq ones the other day, and they tasted like utter garbage. Even though I’ll never try them, my vote goes to the white cheddar ones.

Ghosted by cerebralshrike @ 03/31/2007 1:25 AM EST

Despite what persistant rumors say to ruin my good name, I actually hate Doritos. Is there a an option in the voting where I can have all brands of Doritos banned forever?

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 03/31/2007 7:34 AM EST

Speaking of double features, I remember when Star Wars aired on Prime Time TV in the early eighties it was always preceded by this movie called “Six Pack” that stared Kenney Rogers. I guess he was a race car driver and had six kids or something. The title song was “Love will Turn You Around” and now that song will be in my head all day. shit.
Anywho, I remember watching that movie getting pumped for Star Wars as a 5 year old. Who knew Kenney Rogers could be linked with Star Wars?

Ghosted by Bill @ 03/31/2007 10:37 AM EST

I remember when Star Wars toys didn’t have sound chips. When your X-Wing made a laser sound, it was acheived by a small electric motor spinning a cog against a plastic tab. Of course, then, as now, when your batteries died, you had to make the sounds youself. Shooom! Zzzst! Pkkkow!

If they build a Time Machine within our lifetime, let’s all book a trip to ‘78. We can buy Star Wars toys and Atari 2600 games.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 03/31/2007 12:11 PM EST

KingKlash: I’m with you.

I always prefered my own sound effects to the built in X-wing “Reeeeeeeeee!” sound.

Ghosted by Bill @ 03/31/2007 12:42 PM EST

Flabslapper I agree all the way. I think even straight men find Matt incredibly hot. But, it’s not just that. It’s the whole package that shines through in his articles. Plus MYSTIE he just took her to Disneyworld too. But his girlfriend is probably smokin’ hot AND humble and he would probably say he’s the lucky one. I personally would fetch his remote anytime . :o ) ( sorry Mrs. Matt) Also a quick P.S. Is it just me or has anyone ever wondered what Matt’s voice sounds like? I would love to hear his Italian, New Yawk accent. :o )

Ghosted by Citygirl @ 03/31/2007 7:21 PM EST

actually i haven’t thought about how his voice sounds, he probably sounds like Raphiel in the first movie, lol

Ghosted by flabslapper @ 04/02/2007 8:00 AM EDT

TMNT sucked horse balls. Don’t know what the hell you people saw in it. It can be thrown in the crap bin with the second and third ninja turtles movies.
Matt, If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re not missing anything special.

Ghosted by theratking @ 04/02/2007 8:29 AM EDT

I didn’t even noticed you wrote that article! Kudos for you Matt!

Ghosted by DarthPete @ 04/03/2007 12:25 AM EDT

I totally signed up for that the minute I got the commercial. At first I was like, wth who is this unknown caller, then I answered because I was like, hey wait it’s Saturday!

It was a nice Spider-man voice and I was definitely sold on the unique propaganda. I only wish that I had time to go get promotional toys that day ._.

Ghosted by MizzConcepcion @ 04/05/2007 2:15 AM EDT

Ahh…The Norweigan Cruise Lines. Wish I could tell you all about it – but I can’t. I spent a year planning and booking an anniversary cruise with my now ex-wife. Only to have her tell me, 1 month before we left, that she wanted a divorce! So she went on the trip with some other guy.

I’m not bitter or anything though…really.

Ghosted by Evil Chuck @ 04/13/2007 9:20 AM EDT

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