X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com A Proud UGO Affiliate
X-Entertainment loves Christmas and will not stop talking about it, ever.
« [Main Index] »

I don’t want to think about Doritos when I’m talking to Spider-Man.

We didn't go see the new Ninja Turtles movie last night as planned. Wish I had a good reason for that, but it really just boiled down to becoming obsessed with reading about various Mortal Kombat characters on Wikipedia. For real. I'm also now faced with really, really wanting to see The Hills Have Eyes 2 whenever I step foot inside a movie theater, so I'm going to pretend that I'll actually go through with seeing two movies in succession on some nearby Saturday afternoon, when the reality is that I probably won't see either movie until they're packaged with exclusive mini-posters as Best Buy DVD exclusives seven months from now.

More importantly, Spider-Man called me this morning.


What an awesome promotion. Today marks the in-store debut of Spider-Man 3 toys, and Hasbro has just been totally godlike in their promotional brilliance. For one, each of the major chains has their own "exclusives." I think Wal-Mart bests TRU and Target -- they've got some really cool black-costumed ultra-articulated Spider-Man figure that looks like the kind of thing that needs to be gracing the top of every geek's computer monitor by the end of the weekend. It's a safe bet that thousands of collectors zipped to all three stores this morning just to grab the exclusives, and I'm having trouble deciding if I'm happy or sad that I missed all of the hubbub. At the very least, I hope to own a "Spider Spud" Mr. Potato Head by the next time I shave.

Among the many clever ways that Hasbro has instilled a sense of urgency in the toy-buying public is something that I think people will remember for years and years and years. If you were smart enough to enter your phone number on a special promo site, you are one of the blessed souls who received a phone call from Spider-Man early this afternoon. I, of course, couldn't resist.


My phone rang at about 12:20, and I was subsequently treated to a 45 second prerecorded Spidey message reminding me that his new toys are now on sale! Yes! Sure, it's just blog fodder for me, but think about all the kids who got that call today. It's something they'll be writing about on their own nostalgia sites twenty years from now. Some would argue that we shouldn't dilute the heroism of Spider-Man by making him personally shill action figures and playsets, but who better to inspire people to buy Spider-Man dolls than Spider-Man himself? Aside from the obvious consumer awareness aspect, Spider-Man just has the perfect salesy voice. I'd pay a sawbuck for dog shit if he told me to.


In another great albeit totally unrelated promotion, the folks at Frito-Lay are letting us choose between two new Doritos flavors. After tallying up our votes online, one of the currently limited edition flavors will become a permanent fixture...and the other...will DIE. The new flavors include "Wild White Nacho" and "Smokin' Cheddar BBQ," and the former beats the latter in every category from taste to packaging design to personal bias. I will be extremely surprised and suicidal if the BBQ chips win the election, because it's not just that Wild White Nacho Doritos are better...the other ones just flat out suck. If there is an invisible line in the sand marking the point at which something tastes way too much like concentrated barbecue sauce powder, Smokin' Cheddar BBQ Doritos doesn't just cross it -- it crosses it, turns around, pisses liquid chipotle all over it and performs an annoying touchdown dance. Do the future of junk food a favor -- vote for Wild White Nacho Doritos.


In other news, an article of mine is in this month's ToyFare Magazine (#117), titled "Best of the Beast." It's a three-page look back at Battle Beasts, one of my very favorite toylines ever. There ain't a heck of a lot of new information in the piece if you're already a big fan of the toys, but I did get to make a decent joke about one of the figures looking like the company logo of a bad fried chicken restaurant.

Let's call this one an early start to the Saturday Night Thread.

Oh, I booked a cruise for later this year. We're on the Norwegian Spirit. Anyone have any experience with Norwegian cruises? Discuss in the comments, please. I know they're not the greatest line, but they're way cheaper than most of the others, and I'm pretty sure I'd be satisfied vacationing on a floating dumpster so long as it got me away from real life for a week.

Posted by Matt on 03/24/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 201 comments

I went to McDonald’s today to buy all the TMNT Happy Meal toys and they still had Shamrock Shakes. So I got a new set of Ninja Turtles toys AND a small Shamrock Shake!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 03/25/2007 5:16 PM

Who hasn’t wasted hours on wikipedia reading about how Sub Zero and Scorpion are totally different in every single way yet share almost the exact same look?

Chestnuts roasted by Black Tooth Grin @ 03/25/2007 5:18 PM

Rainbowfeet- Thanks! Yeah, I hope to hit good weather…when you’re spending 20 hours in a car, y at least want it to be sunny.

Crazy_Mainer= I recently turned 25 also! It’s a BIG one, that’s for sure. *sighs* Also, I adore the Muppet Babies and love their theme song, so I hope you consider having the song in your head to be a GOOD thing. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/25/2007 5:29 PM

Sorry for the double post, but MYSTIE= that sounds like an amazingly great afternoon. TMNT Happy Meal and a Shamrock Shake- awesome stuff. :)
I am extremely jealous right now…and hungry!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/25/2007 5:31 PM

While reading my philosophy book, I got to Aristotle and for some reason thought of turtles. It was then when imagination sparked my mind and I opened MS Paint to produce this:

http://x42.xanga.com/81383a00d2768113706073/z81221652.png

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 03/25/2007 5:35 PM

Went to the W. Palm boat show today and there was a dorito vender giving out white nacho and BBQ doritos. Definitly liked the white nacho better even though I swallowed one too soon and it felt like it cut me all the way down. That sucked.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 03/25/2007 5:43 PM

Besides seeing TMNT yesterday, I just got back from seeing the new Japanese monster flick “The Host.” It’s very good. Not very scary, but a good creature feature.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 03/25/2007 5:58 PM

hmmm…what WOULD be the best Double Feature Ever?

I would have to say the Rocky III and TRON double feature of 1982 that happened in my hometown was the best double feature.

Am I the only one who picked up the Venom and Secret Wars Spider-man Origins figures?

Chestnuts roasted by pezjohnson @ 03/25/2007 7:24 PM

Keep all your essentials and two days worth of clothes in a pilot case and DO NOT give it up to the porters when you get on the ship. They lost our bags for two days last time. It was awful.

Chestnuts roasted by rimmie @ 03/25/2007 8:02 PM

Ben- That was awesome. I like knowing there are others out there that still rock MS Paint.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 03/25/2007 8:22 PM

When Aristotle pops up, I think either think about Plato (the Allegory of the Cave and consequently the Matrix) or So-crates (and consequently Bill and Ted).

I want to think about Keanu when I’m eating Doritos.

Or something.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 03/25/2007 11:17 PM

Actually, I whipped that up in about 30 minutes. I actually like to make comics out of MS Paint, but since I’m too poor to host them myself and too busy to make them frequently, I have to use my old Xanga. Sorry Matt, but I would like to link to all my previous work. Hopefully it’ll be entertaining enough to not get me banned from posting. =P

http://x87.xanga.com/767a80e57323577574193/z52567336.png
This was my first MS Paint drawing, which I made around 9/12 last year. It was an evil robot that attacked me in my dream and I wanted to draw it to make sure I’d never forget….

http://xf8.xanga.com/c65d05664843778968168/z53634435.bmp
My first straight up comic, which I made after a very late night working. I didn’t spend much time on it, so my head was drawn oddly round and my body like a stump.

http://x56.xanga.com/6c3a82623103383642607/z57330372.png
This was my next comic, which took a decent amount of time to draw, but a lot of it was finding the right pictures. Also, I forgot to draw hands on myself early on…

http://x93.xanga.com/9f1d13f33513287611366/z60509092.png
This is my biggest and most elaborate comic. It’s based off true events (a Nerf battle my friend and I had) and took a looooong time to make. Something like an hour a frame, but about double that on the ninth frame. This was completed around 11/05 and since then, I’ve really been too busy to do the finale, which I promised would be all action. Hopefully I’ll have enough time this summer to finish it (and I don’t forget what happened). The sweater I was wearing and the guns themselves are pains to draw, so that’s holding me back…

Hope you guys like them!

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 03/26/2007 12:31 AM

Okay Ben, notes:

*Pre-labs are teh suxxorz :P
*Isn’t that first one the gun that inspired the Classics version of Megs?

Norbert, would you act as expert witness to verify this claim, please?

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 03/26/2007 12:48 AM

Megs? Do you mean the first comic or the robot?

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 03/26/2007 1:11 AM

MrEleganza, finally someone who agrees with my opinion on the Doritos. I too thought the White Nacho ones were almost flavorless. I loved the BBQ Cheddar though (which probably means they will be the ones that lose :( )

saw TMNT last night with about 15 of my friends, all of us thought it was completely awesome. if you haven’t seen it yet, I don’t think I can talk to you anymore :P

Chestnuts roasted by snowfire @ 03/26/2007 1:21 AM

“If there is an invisible line in the sand marking the point at which something tastes way too much like concentrated barbecue sauce powder, Smokin’ Cheddar BBQ Doritos doesn’t just cross it — it crosses it, turns around, pisses liquid chipotle all over it and performs an annoying touchdown dance.” Absurdly funny! Hope your paychecks allow you to bathe in money, Matt. Your kind are rare animals that allow us humorless deadbolts to revel in chipotle piss (wow, that’d hurt!)and other fabulously clever observations. Huzzah for you.

Chestnuts roasted by PerfectPrice @ 03/26/2007 4:26 AM

Hey everyone! I caught the very first showing of TMNT on opening day at my local Mann theater, 12 noon. I got a free mini-poster! There were only a few other people there, a family and what looked like some middle/high schoolers cutting class. What a movie! It was the first turtle movie I saw on the big screen, although once when I was a kid I saw part of TMNT III playing on another screen at the drive-in.

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 03/26/2007 4:37 AM

My mother works for Frito Lay. The season cooks are hoping you all DONT vote for the White Cheddar Doritos. The light, white color of the seasoning is too difficult to keep an eye on as far as even distribution on the chips. Therefore each bag is very uneven in taste.

Vote BBQ Cheddar!!! :)

Chestnuts roasted by JillS @ 03/26/2007 7:36 AM

The first nerf gun. I’ve heard that model hypothesized as the source of inspiration for Megatron’s alternate form from the Classics line. Norbert is on top of that stuff and I wanted him to corroborate it.

Check it.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 03/26/2007 8:38 AM

Dang it. I linked to a pic of Classics Megatron, Ben but I got approval-binned. Just google him yourself. I’m referring to the gun in your last comic.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 03/26/2007 8:41 AM

So the Wild White Nacho are better? I haven’t tried the BBQ, but I felt that the Wild White Nacho were a total waste of time. They’re like the regular Nacho kind, only with 10% of the flavor. :( The BBQ ones must be REALLY bad…I should try them.

Chestnuts roasted by Peter @ 03/26/2007 10:03 AM

Wow, my day was just made, small world, for the past week I have been trying to remember the name’s of these toys I had when I was a kid and I couldn’t come up with it. I also wasn’t able to come up with the right combination of words for a google search. Then you talk about them. Battle Beast. Thank you for that, now I won’t stay up at night wondering.

Chestnuts roasted by Marcus @ 03/26/2007 10:05 AM

Ok ripped from fark, but wine flavored ice cream. It says it 5% alcohol. What else can they put alcohol in now?
also do you think there should be a X-E tour of new york?

Chestnuts roasted by RAS @ 03/26/2007 10:49 AM

Oh, no, all the guns are Nerf. The two in the comic are the Maverick and Longshot, part of the N-Strike line. At the time, that’s all anybody had.

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 03/26/2007 11:45 AM

Matt, the only thing you really need to know about Norewegian Cruises is that they have a pizza bar on the top deck that is open all the time, and the pizza is delicious. They deliver to your room as well. Just remember this and your trip will be great.

Chestnuts roasted by Casey Jones @ 03/26/2007 12:36 PM

Add A New Comment!


This entry was posted on Saturday, March 24th, 2007 at 2:53 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.