Soda triumphs and jaguar masks.

Uh, wow. The soda article clocked over 75,000 unique readers today, and that’s…uh, wow. Pretty sure it’s never happened before, and we’re close to 200,000 unique readers landing at that one article in under four days. I can’t explain it. Sometimes, stuff just hits. It’s luck and chance and stars aligned, but it feels damned good, and even being stuck in Camden, NJ right now can’t steal the deliciousness that is this week. Thanks to all the sites that’ve linked in, and if you’re a new reader, picture me saying “hello” like Mrs. Doubtfire five times in a row.

Actually, I’m not in Camden — I’m just working there by day, at the Tweeter Center. We’re shooting stuff for some “Go, Diego, Go!” live show. Diego = Dora’s cousin, for the uninformed. I was warned that Camden was something like Beirut, but the area we’re working in isn’t so bad. You’re not going to invite too many drive-by shootings at a place that hosts live shows where audiences are asked to hold up little paper jaguar masks and make meowing sounds.

I’m at a hotel in Philly now, happily drinking overpriced liquor from the room’s mini-bar and waiting to see if the soda article manages to clock an additional forty-million unique visitors in the next hour. I haven’t been writing articles too often lately. Maybe this was God’s way of saying, “Hey asshole, stop not doing that.” Or maybe people just like pictures of Surge.

PS, I don’t know if anyone caught Joanie Laurer’s appearance on Larry King tonight, “mourning” Anna Nicole and being called out on being a big phony idiot, but seeing that was almost as satisfying as the soda triumph.

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103 Responses to Soda triumphs and jaguar masks.

  1. Dave says:

    Wow, first post. I remember Coke II, it was available until pretty recently in Chicago.

  2. Crizag says:

    First! After all this time lurking!

  3. Crizag says:

    Well shucks…color me embarrassed.

    Or Badd.


  4. asdfnick says:

    The soda article certainly was amaizing. And good luck with the live diego event.

  5. TRUKK NOT MUNKY says:

    You poor, poor demented little child. Forced between gritty, faux environmentalist children’s shows and caustic, acidic, destructive soda.

  6. Joe says:

    The area around the Tweeter Center isn’t bad at all. It’s just across the river from Philly. I’ve been there a couple times, living in Philly and liking concerts, it’s only natural, go into town and then take the ferry. The soda article ruled. Peace.

  7. Joe says:

    Just chiming in again because I remembered something. The commercials for Coke II has this jingle that simply went “OOoooo-oooooh Coke II”, which sounded more like “EEEEWWWW Coke II”. No wonder it didn’t last.

  8. sdp says:

    You made the front page, thats were all those hits came from.

  9. Chuckie says:

    Matt reviews dead sodas. On Surge: “It’s good, and it’s really green. It’s like drinking magic juice”
    Farkers have clicked on the above link 26975 times

    I submitted this headline, and got you a greenlit link on as well. So there’s almost 30,000 hits as well. Loved the article, hope it brought you some new readers.

  10. Ragnarok says:

    Don’t listen to these fancy people and their link websites. It was, indeed, a sign from God.

  11. canoesforshoes says:

    the only diego I recognize is Carmen San.

  12. BJ says:

    Wow, FINALLY a new blog to comment on. I see it’s early in the running so I’m going to put my two cents in now so I have a better chance at being read and commented on. Once again, I try and keep this as short as I can but I can’t promise anything:

    Okay, my last post in the previous thread I admitted was off-topic, but I’m been facing this decision of getting an X-Box 360. Our PX here at my base in Iraq has a supply of them and I’ve been tempted to get one. However, they do not have 360 games for sale, but they do have regular X-Box games for sale. My question is, can you play regular X-Box games on the 360 or are you better off just getting the original console, especially if the games you want to play are only for the old console. That’s how I am right now, and I know one game I want to play is EXCLUSIVELY for the regular X-Box. Anyway, any feedback on this would be nice.

    Also, one final note, well, actually story. A number of years ago I was at the mall near my house and they had Taste testers asking people to try different flavors of Pepsi. They had these little cups with a sample of some kind of flavored syrup that they would fill with Pepsi. I got a cup of grape syrup so after adding the Pepsi, it tasted like Grape Pepsi. I actually really liked the taste, but I probably was the only one because to this day I have not seen ANY Grape Flavored Pepsi being sold anywhere! Am I the only one in the world who likes grape flavored drinks? I love Grape Kool-Aid, Grape Gatorade, Grape Juice, and any kind of Grape Soda. Call me a grape fanatic I guess!

    Okay, one more quick point and then I will close. I thought Pepsi Twist and Pepsi Lime were the same thing. I would get the Pepsi with Lime in it all the time at the PX/Shoppette. I was addicted to that stuff! Actually, I swear when I had a recurring stomache (from which I got from stupidly taking expired Aspirin when I had a headache and not even knowing the effects it might give me), I would drink Pepsi With Lime and it would soothe my pains better than 7-Up ever could. Oh how I hope it’s still around when I get back to the states! I would stock up on that soda anyday!!!!

  13. squee4242 says:

    Good on ya, Matt. As soon as I read the last article, I knew it was going to be one of those extra magic ones. And now you’ll feel all guilty and fearful of the Lord’s wrath if you don’t keep it up, so it’s win-win really 😉
    Hi again, new people. Don’t be shy about introducing yourselves 😀
    Two hundred thousand! Imagine.

  14. Jester says:

    HOLY CRAP!!!! Not to hijack this thread or anything, but my girlfriend just got my christmas present. It’s a little late due to the rarity of the item.

    Are you ready for this? It’s a Laserdisk of “The Gobots battle The Rocklords” how fuggin amazing is that? I didn’t even know they made such a thing.

    Btw, for the kids out there, Laserdisks were giant DVD’s from the 80’s. They were roughly the size of dinner plates.

    Also, totally glad to see a new article man, hopefully we’ll see some more Ninja Turtle stuff, now that a new movie is coming out.

    Does anyone remember the Coming out of our shells tour? That was the most awesome bad concert I have ever been too. If I remember correctly it was heavily endorsed by Pizza Hut.

  15. Wukong says:

    I pimped the soda article too, but not by Digg or Fark or any of that mumbo jumbo….No, see, I made FLYERS and put them on LAMP POSTS. I copied them onto WILD NEON COLORED PAPER and attatched SWEET IMAGES of ROBOTS and CATS IN FUNNY PARTY HATS.

  16. Brett says:

    They have a ride at Wet N’ Wild that I think they named after the drink. Or at least I think it was associated with the ride. Whatever, it was called The Surge and the logo looked similar.

    Is Swipper in Go Diego Go? I only watch Dora because of Swipper and sometimes Azul, the blue talking train.

  17. Bob says:

    Matt, great article. Speaking of Surge and NJ, the article brought back memories of driving from Mass. to the continental arena for a Rage Against the Machine and Beastie Boy concert armed with a case of surge and fruit pies. Insulin would have been useful.

  18. Goob says:

    yeah that was an interesting article, i love seeing 80’s 90’s ish stuff mostly any product that is obviously dated. congrats with the hits for that article even though it was a burst from two websites.

    i am living with my grandparents which suck but I decided to get in shape, improve myself in other ways and while I am doing that look in the newspaper constantly for a job opening on the local police force. I decided to pursue that because i think that any normal 9 to 5 job would suck and i wouldn’t feel productive and i am a healthy human being (fairly) and so this would suit me. I don’t do drugs, i am a kinky bitch but oh well, that aint too bad as long as it’s not group sex every weekend. lol anyway that is the major thing that i am doing right now. i hope everybody is doing fine :)

  19. Goob says:

    and btw did you know that Camden, NJ is the poorest city in america? they did a show a couple of weeks ago on 20-20 about it. the average income is 18,000, it’s because in the 60’s and 70’s all of the major factories moved out of town. fast food joints are the only places to get jobs, and being a drug dealer. food for thought.

  20. Dr. Acula says:

    I loves me some extinct sodas. I feel left out not being able to read the article yet, but I will very soon.

    All I know about Dora is that she has a monkey. If Diego has something greater, it will be good stuff.

  21. Dirk Blackpool says:

    This is my first post after lurking on this site for the past 4 years. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading all the articles ( I especially like the Halloween countdowns, Kool Aid articles & the “Spider Man reviews crayola crayons” was especially hilarious)
    The soda article was great. I was never much of a Pepsi drinker, in fact the only times I ever bought the stuff were when the Cool cans came out, and before that when they ran the spell “pepsi spirit” contest back in the early 80’s (never did find that elusive “R”). Anyway, keep up the good work Matt, you’ve got a great sense of humor.

  22. Pubmonkey says:

    Greetings from Isle of Wight UK :)
    Just thought I would say that you should definately keep up the articles, I stumbled on your site while looking for info on (ahem) – Critters the movie !
    Laughed my knob off and have read as much as possible since.
    Magic mate – keep it up !

  23. Phill says:

    wow matt, it’s been about 85 years since we’ve seen a picture of you. i thought maybe you’d been replaced by a non article writing droid

  24. Casual Jeff says:

    Mars: what was your idea? We’ll all tell you if it sucks or not.

    Jester: You actually went to the “Coming Out Of Our Shells” concert? That’s awesome! I begged my mom to order it off of pay-per-view, but she never went for it. I heard part of the album one time, and it was hysterical. I’d pay good money for some mp3s.

  25. Jedoc says:

    Casual Jeff:

    I actually still have that album on cassette. I got my sister’s boyfriend to dub me a copy on the B-side of one of her New Kids on the Block albums. The screeching and beatings were completely worth it.

    For all those interested, click my name to view the concert on Google Video.

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