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New Article? Yes! About old soda!


There was a time, many, many years ago, when I wrote these things called "articles." I was feeling nostalgic, so I decided, what the hey? Let's use, a lot of commas, and see if it still feels, okay, to write articles.

Today's feature chooses "eleven" as its arbitrary token number and examines "eleven" different soft drinks that are no longer with us, running the gamut from Surge to Strawberry Burst Pepsi and beyond. It's my way of getting a return on the many thousands spent to amass a ridiculous collection of old, sealed soda cans.

I hope you find the article to your liking, because I gave up watching Wolf Creek to write it, and I really wanted to see that "head on a stick" part.

Posted by Matt on 02/04/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 515 comments

I spent a few years in Bosnia and Kosovo and on base there was all the Pepsi products one could drink for free. It was a little bit oh heaven in alot of hell.
They also gave us all the Lays chips we could eat as well. But they were strange flavors like Paprika and Frumage. Such a great thing but rendered useless. It was like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. Is she dead yet?

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 02/05/2007 2:19 AM

I’ve got two bottles of Coke Blak stashed away for these same purposes.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 02/05/2007 2:27 AM

God doesn’t like it when you wish death upon her, Bill :P

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 02/05/2007 2:37 AM

Is it odd that sometimes I love the headers as much as the articles themselves?
I tried that pink Orbitz way back when because I got suckered in by the cool factor, but I was just too grossed out to drink any after the first ball-filled sip. Maybe a straw would have helped. I believe I ended up keeping it on a shelf for awhile, along with the homemade “lava lamp” that consisted of an old school glass Gatorade bottle filled with colored water and vegetable oil. Please tell me I’m not the only one who made one of those.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/05/2007 2:50 AM

Orbitz was really disgusting, but it was popular for like two weeks. You wanted everyone to SEE you with it, but it was essentially too disgusting to actually drink. It was a strange situation and there were no winners.

That said, I like Clearly Canadian. It always made me feel important when I was a kid and I would drink it from those giant glass bottles.

Chestnuts roasted by Wukong @ 02/05/2007 3:36 AM

I never knew that they discontinued the Surge drink. Our local gas stations and grocery stores still sell it. Very Strange.

Hopefully someone can back me up on this, because if the drink really was discontinued in the 90′s then I need to notify someone.

Seriously I am not even joking, does anyone live near me? I live in Dickson, Tennessee. It’s about 50 miles west of Nashville. I just got some the other day, I’ve always loved surge and Jolt and Vault and Amped and whatever other crazy ass thing there is.

I’ll post some pictures when I get back home.

Chestnuts roasted by Jester @ 02/05/2007 3:50 AM

I guess I only ever tried “Crystal by Pepsi” because the ones we bought always tasted citrusy and decidedly un-Pepsi like. I didn’t think Pepsi Blue tasted that bad, but in my book it always lost out to Dr. Pepper’s Red Fusion. Anyone remember that drink? And someone mentioned Vanilla Coke earlier…please don’t tell me that Vanilla Coke is dead! I love that stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by ed3 @ 02/05/2007 3:52 AM

Hopefully someone can back me up on this, because if the drink really was discontinued in the 90′s then I need to notify someone.

It was discontinued around 2001 or 2002, I think. It had been slowly vanishing from store shelves and vending machines before that, but I think that’s when they officially stopped production. So the stores around you are selling soda at least 5 years old if they still have Surge.

Hopefully someone can back me up on this, because if the drink really was discontinued in the 90′s then I need to notify someone.

I don’t know if they’ve completely stopped production, but they did announce a couple of years ago that they were going to start phasing the drink out in the U.S. because after initially strong sales it slumped.

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 02/05/2007 4:14 AM

OK everybody, one of the worst old-school sodas ever from the 80′s was 7-Up Gold. This hideous witches brew looked like stale brandy and tasted like ginger ale and turpintine mixed! 7-Up Gold tasted about as bad a milking a Mexican rat for your cereal milk.

Chestnuts roasted by Josh Ednoff @ 02/05/2007 4:45 AM

It’s not technically soda, but how about Seagram’s Golden Wine Cooler with Bruce Willis playing the guitar on the porch back in 1985? “It’s wet and it dry……My, my, my my!”

Chestnuts roasted by Josh Ednoff @ 02/05/2007 4:52 AM

Don’t forget Quench, which tasted like a bad rip off of Squirt and Mellow Yellow. It even stole the can design. It was the poor man’s Mountain Dew

Chestnuts roasted by Josh Ednoff @ 02/05/2007 6:39 AM

And someone mentioned Vanilla Coke earlier…please don’t tell me that Vanilla Coke is dead! I love that stuff.

Sadly, the Pure Vanilla stuff is. The pepsi version is incredibly hard to find yet I haven’t heard that it got discontinued, and it’s getting harder and harder to get either Lime version.

I fucking hated Coke Blak and I’m very shocked that it’s still on sale. I love Vault, it’s what’s keeping me alive right now. Good thing both my college & CVS have an enormous supply of it

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 02/05/2007 8:52 AM

I remember my brother came home once and said that he had tried Orbitz. “It’s like drinking your own chunks,” he said.

Chestnuts roasted by BDK Mat @ 02/05/2007 9:15 AM

Whoever mentioned the “pink” Dr Pepper: Yes, it was called Fusion, but it was Red. It looked like Big Red, but it was Dr Pepper. Never tried it myself, so who knows what it taste like.

If anyone ever comes through Waco, you should go to the Dr Pepper museum…It’s pretty cool, and you can pick up Dublin Dr Peppers, which are bottled in Dublin, TX–the only bottling plant that still uses pure cane sugar instead of a substitute.

And please tell me I’m not the only person who has drunk “Big Peach?” It’s made by Big Red, but it’s pink and tastes like Peaches…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 02/05/2007 9:23 AM

Here are several different thoughts I have for just this one blog post.

I’m surprised no one on here has mentioned TAB at all!!!! Probably because it was too disgusting to want to remember being a Sugar Free Diet Soda and all. However, as a little kid growing up in the 80s, I remember drinking TAB on a number of occasions. It’s funny because when I think about TAB, I think about a comment made by Writer/Producer Bob Gale on the Audio Commentary for the first Back to the Future movie on DVD. In the scene where Marty goes into the old Cafe in 1955 and he orders a TAB, Bob Gale explained that TAB was a diet drink popular in the mid-70s that by 1985 was pretty much in extinction. Every time I hear that comment, I have to shake my head and say, “No Bob, TAB was still very popular in the mid-80s because I drank TAB on a number of occasions during that period!” Also, I recall that the other comment was about Pepsi Free. Who can forget Pepsi Free. I remember when Pepsi came out with a Caffeine Free Pepsi. I take it it was just a new name and label for the Pepsi Free, but that sure didn’t last long now did it?

Anyway, does anyone remember a soda named Like Cola? I don’t recall if I ever tasted it but if I did I can bet it probably tasted a bit like RC Cola or New Coke for that matter. I also recall a diet soda called Diet Rite. I take it this was basically another Diet Pepsi because the two often confused me.

Okay, now a question I have to ask that yes, it’s related to soda. Does anyone know what company owns Dr. Pepper? I keep thinking it’s either Coca-Cola or RC Cola. I’ve seen them available both in Coca-Cola Vending Machines and RC Vending Machines. However, Coca-Cola has their own version called Mr. Pibb (or actually it’s Pibb Xtra now), so I was assuming it was RC Cola, which would explain the many number of RC Cola Vending Machines I’ve seen in Texas. However, I think it’s probably independent of all the sodas because I believe it’s owned by the Dr. Pepper company. I think I just answered my own question.

Anyway, I thought I had another soda to mention but I guess I either forgot it, or only had this stuff to tell. So, I am going to end this blog by asking if anyone remembers any of the old slogans they used to use for soft drinks. I can remember quite a few Pepsi slogans. Everything from “The Choice of a New Generation” to “Gotta Have It” to “Everything else is a Pepsi” and “Pepsi Generation” and “Pepsi: Generation NeXt.” There’s one I remember for Diet Coke: “Just For the Taste of It: Diet Coke!” Coca-Cola had “Coke Is It” and when they brought back the original formula from the disastrous New Coke test. “Coca-Cola Classic: You Can’t Beat the Real Thing!” Finally, there’s my favorite: “Always Coca-Cola!” I bet I can think of a few more but these are the ones that come to my mind the most. Of course, what better way to end it than with the old Ray Charles slogan for Diet Pepsi, which is how I’m going to end this blog: “You Got The Right One Baby, UH-HUH!”

Chestnuts roasted by BJ @ 02/05/2007 10:01 AM

Wow! An article that mentions Orbitz…What a great way to start my Monday.

By the way, does anyone remember the Saturday Night Live spoof on Crystal Pepsi: Crystal Gravy?

Chestnuts roasted by Mary Mary @ 02/05/2007 10:07 AM

I miss Pepsi Blue! I was so in love with the stuff that I was distinguished from the other Drew in my workplace based on my constant intake… what a horror it is no more. Good thing I’ve shirked the soda addiction, my body thanks me.

And for the record, clearly canadian is still alive and kicking strangely flavored sodas around… although I haven’t seen anything of theirs in years.

Chestnuts roasted by werD @ 02/05/2007 10:08 AM

I havn’t memorized every entry on this blog, but has nobody mentioned Jolt! Cola yet? Twice the sugar, twice the caffiene. It was great. However, the MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour with Greg Proops taught me a drink that put Jolt to shame. It is called “Diet Crack” or AKA “Bastard Cousin”. You mix Strawberry Quik, Coke (the soda), and Pixie Stix together. I had a diabolically insane sugar rush for ten minutes followed by me being keel-over puking sick the next hour.

Chestnuts roasted by Josh Ednoff @ 02/05/2007 10:12 AM

squee I made one :) Very greasy

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 02/05/2007 10:35 AM

Where is the love for O.K. soda?

1-800-IFEELOK

Chestnuts roasted by raygun @ 02/05/2007 10:41 AM

MAN!!! that brings back some memories. 1-800-IFEELOK was probably my most dialed number as a kid. I miss that bottom of the barrel mix of coca-cola brand sodas. everytime you bought a bottle it would be a different color. I remember trying to decipher which soda we were tasting. ahhh good times. I miss being a kid and having a complete disregard to the health of my teeth. though, I don’t think I tried most of the sodas on that list. I do remember, Coke 2 or new Coke, something like that, where coke pulled ALL the originals off the shelves in stores because they KNEW that this new product was going to kick ass. Welp… pepsi can thank coke for making one of the most unreal marketing decisions ever for their success. I don’t think they’d really have much now if it wasn’t for cokes stupidity.

Chestnuts roasted by Timothee @ 02/05/2007 10:45 AM

Just gotta say, woaahh.
This guy writes with the most incredible wit! In all honesty; I never thought I’d be interested in an article about SODA, of all things. Kudos Matt, you’ve proved me very wrong.

Chestnuts roasted by Sonya @ 02/05/2007 11:00 AM

This is amazing. I love the depth this article went into, although I must admit I am a little bit worried for Matt’s health.

Personally, my only experience/obsession with a now departed soda is much more recent. I haven’t seen one since 2004, but boy do I miss dnL. You may have saw it for the .5 seconds that 7up thought it was a good idea. Oh man, that stuff was fruitylicious!

Chestnuts roasted by Zack @ 02/05/2007 11:09 AM

If you’re in the market for funky Pepsi, you’ve got to track down a Pepsi Kona. You also might want to look up Mr. Green. That stuff was not necessarily good, but for some reason I became addicted to it and went through withdrawal when they took it off the market.

Chestnuts roasted by NutJob @ 02/05/2007 11:11 AM

What about 7-Up GOLD! I loved that stuff!

Chestnuts roasted by Chuck @ 02/05/2007 11:15 AM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, February 4th, 2007 at 5:53 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.