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Devils and Valentines.

Hello, and happy SNT.

A few weeks ago, I picked up "The Complete Omen Collection" -- a pretty nice DVD box set containing each and every film from that very devilish umbrella, including the obscure made-for-television fourth installment and the 2006 remake.

I've already written about the first Omen flick here, but now that I've seen the rest, I'm giving The Omen II the nod as my personal favorite. Not that it's some great movie that changed my life or anything, but there's something oddly cool about a movie with a storyline that could best be summed up as: "Satan's teenaged son comes of age."

And now that I've seen last year's remake, my fears were confirmed: It's a pointless shot-for-shot retelling of the original, where everyone goes through the motions and absolutely nothing new is brought to the table. Watch this movie and you'll appreciate a lot of the so-called "reimaginings" that've hit the horror market in recent years, because at least those movies made some attempt to do their own thing.

Plus, what was with Damien in the remake? What worked about the original (and even Part II, to a degree) was that Damien was seemingly nice and normal, and almost damned by his parentage. Here, right from the start, he's a total freak and there's no way to justify why his parents didn't have him committed. Speaking of his parents, Liev Schreiber was more bored than annoying as dear old Dad, but Mother Julia Stiles gave a performance that made me go out and kill her family afterwards. The remake isn't entirely difficult to sit through, and that's something, but it's still a shit movie.


Naturally segueing from Satan to Valentine's Day, there's a whole heap of candies that celebrate the almost-holiday with vanilla flavors and edible love notes. One of my favorites are heart-shaped Ring Pops, which sadly forgo the notion that customers are sucking on expensive edible jewels, but make up for it with a Ring Pops that are much bigger than the originals. Plus, all of the Valentine's Ring Pops are strawberry, so I don't have to spend the extra minute sifting through the display box to make sure I don't skip town with grape.

Posted by Matt on 02/03/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 73 comments

I see a lot of folks talking about MST3K….Just wanted to let everyone know that Mike and the ‘bots’ are back to riffing on movies again….sort of check out rifftrax.com to see what I’m talking about….

And Mike P, do you have a MySpace page? I check those messages far more than email these days…

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 02/04/2007 2:41 AM

I am watching breakfast club right now. before, i was watching the air supply infomercial, that thing is priceless

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 02/04/2007 2:41 AM

Shuanfu: I do indeed. You have been sent a message from my account.

Matt: Satan is poking me with his pitchfork. He really wants to know if you’ll be his Valentine. Satan claims if you say yes, he’ll draw you a picture with crayons.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike P @ 02/04/2007 2:48 AM

Wow, there IS an Airsupply infomercial. I just saw Christopher Cross. I wish a bear would bust on the set and eat Russell Hitchcocks head. That’s right. I know their names. It makes me want to drink lemonade for some reason.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 02/04/2007 2:57 AM

As in “I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you,” kb? What would that be like their 5th greatest hits package in 10 years?

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 02/04/2007 3:00 AM

Oops, I meant Final Justice, what with the Joe Don connection. Final Sacrifice is one of my absolute favs though. In fact, I was going to watch it as soon as I’m done watching Quest for the Delta Knights, which is probably why I screwed it up. Any of you MSTies might be interested in something I posted earlier today in the LJ MST3K community (name clicky). :D
Joey, “luckily” you’ll have plenty of time to catch up before season two. I have a feeling it’s going to be awhile. 6FU is awesome, but MCH really gets to shine in Dexter. He was totally robbed at the Globes.
Valentine’s hasn’t ever been a really big thing for me. My mom usually gets me something cute, but yeah, that’s it. I actually like Conversation Hearts, so it’s usually a box of those.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/04/2007 3:03 AM

Squee, I guess I could do the same thing….

SO…. all you MSTies click my name for a direct link to Mike’s new site; I just watched the free preview from “the Matrix”; man did that make me miss the show even more!

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 02/04/2007 3:12 AM

Meatwad: Uh, huh. Who’s the J-man?
Frylock: Ya know… starts with a J, son of G… died and went to H… on the C?
Meatwad: Died on the C… Comode, comode! Elvis!
Frylock: No.
Meatwad: It’s Elvis!
Frylock: But he was a king. And he did live in a Graceland of sorts.
(sighs) He looks like Ted Nugent?
Meatwad: Oh, yeah, I know that old boy! It’s Jes–
Frylock: Don’t say it! Let’s just call him…GeeWhiz

“I’m sorry there man, I thought you looked like a varmint.” ~ The Nuge. The commentary for the ep said that it was Ted that suggested that he wore the bagder as a codpiece/loincloth. Damn, I love that episode.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert is: Mittens! @ 02/04/2007 3:37 AM

Haha. There’s a Rifftrax for Troll 2, the movie my ex-girlfriend and I agreed was possibly the most unrequested sequel of all time.

On that note…I hate Valentine’s Day. I’ve tried to position myself into that whole “I’m above hating Valentine’s Day and I’m cool with being alone and I like me.” thing, but it doesn’t work. Valentine’s Day at work is like the whole world rubbing my aloneness in my face.

So I drink more on Valentine’s Day than I do on St. Patrick’s day. Hm.

Chestnuts roasted by Wukong @ 02/04/2007 3:47 AM

That clip made Troll 2 look freaky as hell….that boy was being tortured; I thought there was laws against traeting young actors like that ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 02/04/2007 5:26 AM

I just realized that the only time I care about the super bowl is when it airs on Fox. That’s how we got Family Guy and that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa and Marge paint eggs and talk to Vicent Price on the phone.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 02/04/2007 7:10 AM

The Omen remake has one thing going for it – the greatest decapitation scene in movie history. Prove me wrong.

Chestnuts roasted by Baby Diego @ 02/04/2007 7:25 AM

Matt, (or anyone else) I looked through that stack of old comics, and here’s what actually in it:
Alf 1-30
Count Duckula 1-11
Real Ghostbusters 3-23 and GBII movie adaption 1-3
Slimer 1-15

I’m gonna check around today and see if they have any real value (which I doubt) but otherwise Matt, they are yours. If Matty doesn’t want ‘em, anyone else? I’d rather pass ‘em on to X-E folks for nostalgia sake…someone already spoke up for the Duckula books a bit earlier, anyone else maybe interested?

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 02/04/2007 9:08 AM

Oh, hey… last SNT, somebody was talking about Bosco? I found the jingle. Just click my name.

Chestnuts roasted by Jemmy @ 02/04/2007 10:08 AM

When I think of Valentines Day I think of the St. Valentines day massacre and how those guys were shot so many times that they had bullet wounds in their feet… then comes the memories of classroom parties past. The valentine’s boxes we would make yadda yadda yadda. I’m still finding old valentines from school in the basement with unopened candy attached.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/04/2007 12:06 PM

What does X-E have for a Superbowl halftime show?

Chestnuts roasted by Bob @ 02/04/2007 2:21 PM

Ah, Ring Pops. How I love them.
Interesting fact. Art Spiegelman, cartoonist and creator of avante garde comics magazine RAW, co-created Ring Pops. As well as Garbage Pail Kids.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 02/04/2007 2:39 PM

Matt, you’ll want to take that guy’s Alf comics even if they’re worth nothing. That comic was very well-written; I thought it was better than the show. I have every issue….somewhere in the vast boxes of storage…..

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 02/04/2007 3:01 PM

Now if it’s MST3K episodes you’re a-wantin, I am of the opinion that it doesn’t get any better than Riding With Death. Can’t imagine why that show never got made. Viva Ben Murphy.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 02/04/2007 3:09 PM

‘Afternoon, everybody! It’s interesting to hear some of your Valentine’s Day memories, although some of you don’t seem to like this holiday. I have an idea for a Valentine-themed blog post or article: why don’t we think of Valentine’s Day episodes of various tv shows? One example that comes to mind is Darkwing Duck’s “My Valentine Ghoul.” I’m not sure I’ve actually seen that episode, but it obviously has a Valentine theme. The idea is, if we think of a good Valentine’s Day episode of some 80′s/early 90′s tv show, maybe Matt will do a review of it for Valentine’s Day(assuming he hasn’t already done so in a past year). I think there’s an early episode of “the Wonder Years” that fits this theme perfectly (featuring a very young Ben Savage!).

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 02/04/2007 6:08 PM

The best MST3K episode is Manos the Hands of Fate with the Brain That Wouldn’t Die coming in at close second. I’d put the Final Sacrifice pretty high on the list though.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 02/05/2007 1:30 PM

“Dr Lao?! You could’ve quoted the Desiderata or something, but you chose Dr Lao?”
“Sue me, it’s my favorite George Pal movie.”

“What rhymes with Blue Balls?”
“If I pull hard enough, maybe I can rip my own head off.”

“YoU foRGOt YOur comPLemENTAry Crazy Bread.”

“It’s a Daktari Stool!”

“Richard Basehart?”

I’d just like to add Simon Bar Sinister says: BE MY VALENTINE!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash and his box of Hamdingers @ 02/05/2007 4:26 PM

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This entry was posted on Saturday, February 3rd, 2007 at 10:07 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.