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01/29/2007: Palm Pilotin’ Hardcore.

Man, it’s been a busy few weeks and there are only so many scratch-off Lotto cards available to help me cope, but I’m almost over the hump. In this case, the “hump” being too retardedly exhausted to even consider writing anything of substance after finishing up writing other things of substance more strictly correlated with checks that arrive with my name on them. In times like these, when there’s too much to do to ever really feel organized, I turn to technology and buy tickets for bandwagons two years too late. In other words, I got a Palm Pilot.


It’s a Palm Pilot Treo 700wx, or some shit, I dunno. The woman’s sister had one, and it took me all of five seconds to declare that it had to be mine. It’s ridiculously expensive if you just buy it outright, but in my case, I was just upgrading from my crappy Sprint phone, and was thus privy to all sorts of discounts. In the end, it was still pricey, but not so much that I now have to kick my beloved scratch-off Lotto habit. Did I mention that I hit $50 on one card last week? I did!

I’d been looking into getting a PDA for a while now, for a variety of reasons. Like, if I want to bolt out of the office early and not tell anyone, I need to at least be accessible through e-mail to cover my ass, and now, I can be. Moreover, I just want to be able to read about elephants and Scoville ratings and other Wikipedia shit on my long bus ride home. By the time I figured out that I could download Tetris and Bejeweled, I made a halo out of construction paper and stapled it to my head.

Truth is, I’m an idiot when it comes to tech trends. I go through at least one computer every two years, and that’s conservative. And, when I buy a new computer, it’s really just about driving to Best Buy and picking the tower in the coolest shade of gray. When I bought the Palm, I knew I’d be able to use it as a phone, to send e-mails and to vaguely browse the Internet, but I didn’t realize just how much of a “minicomputer” the thing actually is. I foresee grand times ahead, assuming I don’t fumble and drop it in the next week, which is entirely possible.

My favorite Palm-related revelation has been its inbuilt Microsoft Word Mobile program, which, at least for argument’s sake, would let me write articles and finish assignments from pretty much anywhere. Sure, I can’t type very fast on a tiny, thumb-buttoned keyboard, but I can type, and save, and send, and maybe even print if I look around hard enough. Fun!


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 147 comments

Okay, one more double post and I’m gonna have to suggest that Josh Ednoff is spamming. I’m not being mean, and I’m not rallying against double posts or even off-topic posts or repeating the same thing over and over for that matter (I am the king of all of those, I know that), but when all those factors combine it makes one suspicous and/or annoyed.

Ghosted by K- with officially the most Boolean post ever @ 02/01/2007 2:35 PM EST


Man I miss a picture party or a rocking article about some obscure movie like The Gate or something.

Matt, your January must be like mine. The ugly reared head of work. Oh well. We both have a birthday in less than a week so that will be a bittersweet event for me at least. One year closer to thirty. shit.
Are you going to have a wish list for your Bday? I saw this thing I want to send you but you have to right a review about it. That’s the deal.

Ghosted by Bill @ 02/01/2007 5:03 PM EST


Mars: Yea, I was curious because I never used to have trouble doing that, until now. Oh well, whoever allowed my link has my gratitude.

So, how about a new topic, then. What does everyone think of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force ad backlash from yesterday in Boston and various places. I found it funny, but I would probably be annoyed if I lived there. It’s was hilarious watching reporters getting rightous and pissed off for be conned (especially on Fox News). If I was CN, I would move the upcoming ATHF movie to this weekend or next to capitalize on the publicity.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 02/01/2007 5:27 PM EST


I wish I lived near one of the target cities. I would have tried to snag me one of those magnetic Mooninites. I wonder how many they’ll get back?

Ghosted by kingklash @ 02/01/2007 5:31 PM EST


My favorite part about the stunt was reading about some spokesperson-type saying, “In this post-9/11 world…” Ten years from now, they’ll be saying, “In this post-9/11 world, we HAD to raise the turnpike toll. There are too many details that are crucial to homeland security to explain, but trust us. It was necessary.”

Ghosted by Bludge @ 02/01/2007 6:46 PM EST


Bludge: I know, really.

To quote Kris Roe: “oooooh Orange Alert ooooh”

Ghosted by K- @ 02/01/2007 7:47 PM EST


Hey, Matt. You work at Nick US, right? Any chance you could try to get your uppers to air the new DP episodes soon? Like any of the 6 that have ALREADY AIRED IN LATIN AMERICA? Thanks!

Ghosted by Ronnie @ 02/01/2007 8:10 PM EST


Well, thankfully is seems a few of the Mooninite signs managed to make their way onto eBay.

ps kingklash that’s not a hair question.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 02/01/2007 8:36 PM EST


I just watched a video on YouTube of all these reporters not knowing what Aqua Teen Hunger Force is. That is just inexcusable.

Now I have to wade through a sea of noobs when I see the movie. Joy.

Ghosted by K- @ 02/01/2007 9:33 PM EST


I also have never owned a cellphone or pager (early 90’s). I never really want to be contacted when I am out doing stuff. Of course now these devices take pictures, play movies, play music, send text messages, keep appoinments, wipe your ass, send/receive emails, browse web pages, make people jealous, and give the user a false sense of importance. Still, I am thinking the 100-200 bucks could be better spent on gasoline and keeping the lights one. When I can be sexually serviced by my cellphone that may be the ice breaker. Lucky women can already do this though. Then again maybe she was faking that orgasm?

Ghosted by Old E @ 02/01/2007 9:53 PM EST


I’d voice my opinion on it, the this board is not letting me post, let alone links about this.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 02/01/2007 10:34 PM EST


Trying again…

So, how about a new topic, then. What does everyone think of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force ad backlash from yesterday in Boston and various places. I found it funny, but I would probably be annoyed if I lived there. It’s was hilarious watching reporters getting rightous and pissed off for be conned (especially on Fox News). If I was CN, I would move the upcoming ATHF movie to this weekend or next to capitalize on the publicity.

I found this hilarious, and while [as] was right in giving an apology, this ATHF superfan found it lame. They should’ve aired the clip of Ignignokt & Err insulting Denver after finding the Ooghix Micxtagghh (sp?, the klingon phrase for Superior Galactic Intelligence) at the end of Super Computer where they say “How are ya gonna make omlettes now?!”

I was watching CNN Headlines News on this ytesterday, and when they originally revealed it was ATHF-related, they called the characters on the LED ads “The Mooninite Marauders.” What the hell?! Those friggen immigrants! Right after I got rid of all of those “Gnats” jerseys!

Clicking on my name lead you to a great thread about the subject, not to mention a fark thread I tried posting that won’t post about having everyone making just about any ATHF reference imaginable. (clicking my name sends you ATHF’s TWoP thread)

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 02/01/2007 10:39 PM EST


Huzzah it posted!

Well, even with all the crap about overreacting, Boston knew how much of a threat the Mooninites are, as they’ve assembled their supervillain team Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday whose evil endeavors include adopting a highway in order to shave the world under the pseudonym “Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Click.”

I also misspelled OoGhij MIQtxxXa. It cures all diseases and features The Legend of Zoltar!

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 02/02/2007 12:22 AM EST


Mystie I think the people you pay bills too would understand if you just blew them off for a month to get a Wii. Matt, Have you had a chance to play WarioWare yet? I think its fun, but not as re-playable as I had thought it would be.

Ghosted by Tommy @ 02/02/2007 1:37 AM EST


CNBC is about to premiere a new product from the Magic Bullet people! What will it be?

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 02/02/2007 2:28 AM EST


OMG, Bullet To Go! Cordless! Portable! A new infomercial! A crap week is suddenly looking up.
So did any Harry Potter fans catch Extras this week? Mystie? Manimal? Bueller?

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 02/02/2007 2:40 AM EST


Ignignokt: Those are suspicous devices, tell them Err.
Err: Those are Lite-Brites.
Ignignokt: Lite-Bri…WHY THE HELL ARE THEY FREAKING OUT OVER LITE-BRITES, Err?!?!?

Zebro Sketch Comedy gets my thanks for inspiring the above work of genius :P

Ghosted by K- @ 02/02/2007 3:18 AM EST


Nah, Squee didn’t catch it. Did it involve the erotic photos of Dan Radcliffe touching naked boobies? Those pics are all kinds of wrong. Like you can tell the hair on his belly is leading a pathway down to a mess of wirey pubes, and I totally don’t want to think about that.

I can’t believe the next book and movie are coming out within a few days of each other. It’s gonna be maaad chaos.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 02/02/2007 3:34 AM EST



I was watching CNN Headlines News on this ytesterday, and when they originally revealed it was ATHF-related, they called the characters on the LED ads “The Mooninite Marauders.” What the hell?!

Most of the media is still referring to it as a “hoax”, a word not even remotely applicable to what it was.

As a former journalism student, I speak from first hand experience: These people aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. Occasionally you’ll get a smart cookiee in news editorial, but the vast majority of them are about as capable and intelligent as a drunken newborn.

Ghosted by Wukong @ 02/02/2007 5:23 AM EST


hehe, drunk babies are fun

Ghosted by flabslapper @ 02/02/2007 10:04 AM EST


The best thing about living in the post 9-11 world is that if you’re having an argument with someone and get boxed into a corner, you can just fill your voice with all the scorn you can muster and tell them “That’s pre-9-11 thinking right there.” It doesn’t actually help you win the argument, but it generally distracts them long enough for you to slip around to the side and punch them in the back of the head until they lose all memory of the debate, making you the victor by default.

BLACKWATCH PLAID.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 02/02/2007 11:12 AM EST


“A plane hit the twin towers, lol, that would be a cool movie”

Ghosted by pre-9-11 flabslapper @ 02/02/2007 11:39 AM EST


Forget Blackwatch Plaid, I jumped all the way past Rush’s “Moving Pictures” (good album, btw) and went straight to “Illustrated Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.” It’s the last step before implementing the Stangelove Protocols. Any women wanting to be breeding stock (I’m looking your way, Mystie), keep your calendars free.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 02/02/2007 1:34 PM EST


Ew, no. Kids are expensive and they break your shit. If I decide to breed (fat chance), I’ll probably breed with pirates so I can at least attempt to decrease global warming.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 02/02/2007 2:48 PM EST


feel free to drop it Matt. I have one, and it looks like it’s suffered one too many bad days in a DMZ, and it still works perfectly fine. of course, it looks like a pile of shit now… but it works. :)

Ghosted by Double_G @ 02/02/2007 4:25 PM EST


I’ll probably breed with pirates so I can at least attempt to decrease global warming.

Wow. Sex, pirates and global warming. There is a movie plot in there somewhere that is every bit as good if not better than a lot of the stuff Matt reviews. Throw in a a lavender evil homicidal robot with a pitchfork and it would be perfect.

Ghosted by Wenthral @ 02/02/2007 4:29 PM EST


I didn’t say you had to raise ‘em. There are secret govenment machine for that. Just nine months every two years. Plus your weight in gold-pressed latinum, and twice that in premium ice cream. The only possible drawback is, you have to be subjected to Roger Miller’s “King of the Road” and Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps” on endless loop to ensure healthy worker drones for the cause. But, you do get ice cream!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 02/02/2007 5:13 PM EST


For those of you who didn’t get my last rambling, it’s a reference to the episode where the Mooninites are trying to cash a check that isn’t

WHY ARE WE TRYING TO CASH A BILL, ERR?!?!?!

Hands down my favorite ep. ever. I not sure anything has made me laugh more than that single line. Besides the Corey Haim Full Video Diary review. And if no one outside of myself and Norbert knows what the hell we’re talking about, that’s okay. We’re having fun, anyway. :D

Ghosted by K- @ 02/02/2007 6:31 PM EST


I was watching CNN Headlines News on this ytesterday, and when they originally revealed it was ATHF-related, they called the characters on the LED ads “The Mooninite Marauders.” What the hell?!

Most of the media is still referring to it as a “hoax”, a word not even remotely applicable to what it was.

I said the “What The Hell?” over them referring to the Mooninites as “The Mooninite Marauders.” I was pretty sure that the “Gnats jerseys” reference made this clear.

Jedoc, they just now raised the threat level from Blackwatch Plaid to the cover of Rush’s “Moving Pictures” Album. ;)

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 02/02/2007 8:47 PM EST


LOL Mystie it wasn’t that, but you’ve given me something to Google. He just played himself as sex-crazed. Funny stuff. Warwick Davis was in it too.
Thank God this week is finally over. Fuck.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 02/02/2007 9:35 PM EST


“Matt?…….Matt?……Matt?……..”

“He’s sick.”

“Really?”

“This girl I know told me from this girl who was talking to this guy who’s going with the girl who told it to the guy who knows this girl who saw Matt pass out at 31 Flavors last night! She said it was pretty serious.”

“….Thank you, Simone.”

SAVE MATT

Ghosted by Mars @ 02/02/2007 9:54 PM EST


Happy Friday (and groundhog day!) I just got over the funky flu. yay for feeling better. I’m in the so hungry I’ll eat anything cause I haven’t eaten in three days phase.
kingklash, you are so strange/funny

Ghosted by kb @ 02/02/2007 10:08 PM EST


I’m glad today’s getting over with. I had somewhat of a bummer of a night. I had a great aunt pass away earlier tonight. She was in bad shape for the past few weeks becuase she fell down in her nursing home, wanged her head, lost her memory of her relatives, and her condition has been getting worse. I heard there were talks over the past few days on what they should do, and everyone agreed that pulling the plug was the best thing to do (she herself was in bad shape, but, like the people in my family, she was a fighter). We were gonna visit on sunday, my parents left the house earlier tonight when they heard the condition was worse, but were too late. To bring some happy back into this, the weirdest part about all this that surprised everyone that her living will stated that her body should be donated to science. o_0;; (awkward, confused face) I do not envy those people who get to examine her.

Groundhog’s Day…Punx. Phil didn’t see his shadow! He’s now 96-14-9 and is going to State! (the 9 being the years they didn’t do it for some reason) I’ll be slightly happy tomorrow waking up knowing that it’ll be Groundhog Day all over again. And tomorrow. and the day after. I’m on…17 Groundhog days now, and I just know that this post is gonna reset and I’ll have to post it again! ;)

Ghosted by Invader Norbert :( @ 02/02/2007 11:50 PM EST


Sorry about your aunt Norbert. That sucks. However, that last comment about those who have to examine her made me drop my beer on my lap. Very funny. But sorry at the same time.

Ghosted by Bill @ 02/03/2007 12:10 AM EST


So, after 135 posts or so, I’M going to have to be the one that it isn’t a “Pilot”?

The Palm “Pilots” were discontinued years ago.

The Treo 700 is a great device, though. Enjoy it Matt.

Ghosted by Kris @ 02/03/2007 1:12 AM EST


I’m gonna postulate the theory that for a certain segment of the population they will always be known as “Pilots”

Kinda like how adhesive strips are known by the brand name Band-Aid. There’s a term for this phenomenon, but I dropped out of that economics class 6 years ago :(

Ghosted by K- @ 02/03/2007 1:53 AM EST


I was listening to the radio the other night, either NPR or a Sacramento AM station I listen to Coast to Coast on, when their intrepid reporter did his thang on the ATHF issue…

…and stopped rather embarrassedly when he realized that listing all the characters by name and describing who they are just revealed to millions of people that he actually watched the show. :D

Ghosted by Moony @ 02/03/2007 2:49 AM EST


Mine’s always been a Treo, but I definitely feel that I pilot it. Verb-wise.
I found those risque HP photos, LOL. They’re really not that racy, but for a 17-year-old I guess they are a little. I can’t even try to lie, I think he looks pretty good, to be honest. Maybe a little pasty, but, you know, he’s British. Obviously, I have been single way too long.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 02/03/2007 3:50 AM EST


K-”Kinda like how adhesive strips are known by the brand name Band-Aid. There’s a term for this phenomenon, but I dropped out of that economics class 6 years ago”

Proprietary eponyms. It’s one of my favorite English-language phenomena. It is one of the biggest ways that our language is evolving today. For instance, Google is noy synonymous (eponymous?) for web searching.

Ghosted by Spoodles @ 02/03/2007 10:00 AM EST


I am also reminded that iPod seems to be one now, used for any MP3 player. I am reminded because my iPod has had that frowny error face for a few days now. Depressing!

Ghosted by Spoodles @ 02/03/2007 10:02 AM EST


I’d like to request more 1980s TMNT cartoon-related articles, especially ones that feature Krang.

Ghosted by Felicity @ 02/03/2007 11:47 AM EST


Yes, we need more articles…and an SNT!

I suggest more “comics” like the Chia Plot…hint, hint.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 02/03/2007 1:37 PM EST


Spoodles:

Hah, that rocks. If I ever have a band, a boat, or a child, I’m naming it Proprietary Eponym.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 02/03/2007 6:49 PM EST


If you still want Wii game recommendations, you should really get Rayman: Raving Rabbids. It is incredibly funny and fun. We just played it for 5 hours last night. My arms hurt.

Ghosted by T @ 02/03/2007 7:24 PM EST


I second the motion calling for more “comics.” I remember reading those Donatello/Tunnel Rat “comics” that came with a couple of articles of while back. I don’t mean to put pressure on Matt, but I would personally love to see more of that type of thing. A resolution to the “Chia plot” sounds like a very good idea.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 02/03/2007 7:53 PM EST


I am simply bringing back to glory some of the best ideas ever from the 80’s. K-with officially the most Boolean post ever, you are missing out on greatness like a retard misses the point. My sage-like knowledge of insignificant nostalgia is what this blog YEARNS for. To accuse me of spamming or whatever techno-nerd babble you use is akin to having an “I love the Mr.T cartoon” tatoo on your forhead while wearing the cutoff denim jacket. That kind of attitude leads me to see nothing in your future but bottles, cans, and a ripped-off ten speed.

Ghosted by Josh Ednoff @ 02/05/2007 4:39 AM EST


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