Boku: Nectar of the Gods, Boxed.

I started thinking about Boku tonight. Not sure why. There isn’t a lot of information about Boku online, save for the innumerable mentions of its ad campaign, which starred funnyman Richard Lewis as just the right guy to bridge the juice box gap between kids and adults. I really don’t remember much about those ads, surprisingly, but I certainly remember Boku.

The early 90s brought with it a proliferation of “let’s try this” beverages, and by that I’m referring to drinks with marketing strategies that hadn’t truly been tested before. I remember being totally floored by stupid things like Mistic’s line of bottled fruity drinks, because they looked like water and tasted like liquid Starburst. Common now, but at the time, our collective consciousness was knocked into unconsciousness by the deliciousness of these new beveragenesses. Within this mighty gamut of wet new competitors, Boku stood out as a true original.

Basically, Boku was a collection of drink boxes for the older crowd. At least, that’s how it was marketed. To differentiate Boku from Ssips and the many other kiddie drinks, the boxes were taller, slenderer and just more adult looking overall. Though Boku boxes ultimately caved into pressure and became more colorful and loud, when they first launched, I distinctly remember buying them in really odd, mostly white boxes with just a few touches of color. The flavors were also aged up — instead of grape, you got “white grape.” I would describe their appeal as being along the lines of nonalcoholic wine.

Wait. I can’t believe “slenderer” is really the correct plural of “slender.” Spellcheck says it is.

The biggest change of all? No straws. At least, not initially. I’m betting that parent company McCain ultimately stopped trying to be so damn rebellious, but when I was buying Boku, it didn’t come with a straw. It just had this foil “slip” that could be peeled away to reveal a much larger drinking hole than was the norm for juice boxes. I don’t really get why they were so adamant about giving juice boxes an adult spin, but I think dropping the straw was crossing a line that juice boxes should never cross. Sure, I was young when I drank these, but I don’t think you need a college education to drink stuff without spilling it. Between the gaping drinking hole, slenderer (I still can’t believe that’s correct) boxes and lack of straw, Boku tended to spill like spilling was the in thing.

When I was in whatever grade I was in, I attached a milk crate to my bike’s handlebars. That same week, I was finally given permission to ride to the few stores that were in a negotiable biking distance from my house. So, armed with rights and a milkcrate, I spent many summer afternoons going to this shitty little deli a few blocks away, loading my crate with Boku and chips and the occasional copy of Weekly World News, and riding home like a big boy.

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118 Responses to Boku: Nectar of the Gods, Boxed.

  1. Cricket says:

    OK seriously…milk from a plastic boobie bag is just…ewwwww!

    On another note, I am not sure where I saw it so it could have been here, if so I am sorry, but have any of you checked out Wii Have a Problem on the web yet (linked below)? I can’t stop laughing at 1) How stupid some people are and B) Why they would share their stupidity with the world by posting face shots in some?

  2. Old E says:

    Yeah that was definitely Candace who corrected Matt the first time. Then La La chimed in with the Hooked on Phonics.

    FYI… “slenderer” is not a plural. It is a superlative.

    Posted by LaLa @ 01/17/2007 8:10 AM EST

    Just a by the way- “slenderer” isn’t plural, it’s comparative. But it still looks dumb.

    Posted by Candace @ 01/16/2007 1:43 AM EST

    I hope this gets the fingers pointed in the right directions.

  3. Wukong says:

    It would be awesome if World War III were fought over grammar.

  4. Moony says:

    Wow, a mention by an X-E regular! :) I’m flattered! :) If anyone wants to see the comic he mentioned, just click on my name. Screamy would describe the recent pictures of the defaced prototype as a “runned over ugry hams’er chiggen” now, tho. XD

    It took me a while to remember the Boku commercials, but then I realized its because I never liked Richard Lewis. For some reason, I always wanted to throw things that would stick to his forehead.

    Generally I’m a nicer person than that…:D

  5. Wukong says:

    I’ve never liked Richard Lewis either.

    Actually, there’s a whole group of comics that came to prominence during the mid-80’s that, frankly, I’ve never found funny in the least.

  6. Muppet Baby says:

    ORBITZ! Man, I drank that stuff all the time in high school just because it was the thing to do…it was gross stuff, really- but cool!

    Had a rough day- found out I need glasses, and I was in a car accident! Bastard rear ended me- didn’t even slow down. Who doesn’t notice that the car ahead of them is stopped??? Plus, he was a COP driving a ‘ghost car’. I don’t need this. This is the second time someone else has slammed into my car in 2 months- the last time was in my parking lot, and resulting in my car being scrapped and my buying THIS car- that is now banged up. Grrrrrr….I need a drink!

  7. snowfire says:

    Old E, I also did both those things with Capri Suns and Squeeze-It’s. Although I would usually keep the Capri Sun straw in my mouth after blowing into it and end up having to drink it really fast. I miss Squeeze-It’s. Why’d they disappear, anyways?

  8. Trish says:

    snowfire: Why’d they disappear, anyways?

    For some reason when I read that, I flashed on that old Lifesavers commercial with the dad putting his arm around his son – in a gymnasium, maybe? Seems like I might be mixing it up with a Happy Days episode where Howard Cunningham did the same with Richie….

  9. Luap says:

    So anybody else notice that Trix cereal has gone back to its original ball shapes?

  10. Phil B. says:

    yeah, and the funny thing is they are claiming its a “New Shape!!!”

    but i suppose it wouldnt make for good marketing to say, “Back to the way it was pre-’92!!!”

  11. Shuanfu says:

    You know, I can’t recall that I’ve ever had a bowl of Trix. I thrived off of Capt’n Crunch…peanut butter when my granny was feeling generous and crunchberries when she was feeling crazy….

    I know I considered buying a box of Trix not to long ago, just to try something new yet retro, but I picked up Cocoa Pebbles and Eggo Cinnimon Toast instead…I never regretted that decision one bit…

  12. Benjamin says:

    I last saw Boku at a BigLots MANY years ago and it was in 24 oz Bottles and I got about 20 of them because they were 25 cents a piece….but when I got home they were missed labled they all tasted like coconut and pinapple GROSS not the correct flavor…I think I have some still in storage…you want them if I find them?

  13. Heather says:

    I worked in the cafeteria of the boarding school I went to and had to change the “mam” in the RoboUdder many times. We had lots of weird/gross terms for the ginormous bag of milk, but we eventually settled on “mammary,” then got lazy and shortened it to the “mam” as seen above.

    And I have now proof read this post so many times as to not be attacked by the grammar nazis that I can’t figure out the correct placement of the e and i in weird (wierd?) Arrrrgh. Neither looks right anymore!

  14. Matt says:

    Benjamin — if you can find me a box of Boku, I’d love it!

  15. johnny says:

    Invader Norbert… Have you got the new Grimlock? He is a total bitch to transform.

  16. Luap – I just wish Trix would go back to the original flavor, it’s the only flavor I genuinely miss from childhood. Sometimes I fantasize about having a big bowl of Trix back when there were no green/blue pieces of cereal with their crappy flavors to mess it up.

  17. Sarah says:

    Ecto Cooler (renamed Shoutin’ Orange Tangergreen in 1997, then later renamed Crazy Citrus Cooler in 2005.)

  18. Derp says:

    Jessica, why can’t you pick out all the colours you don’t like and have that huge bowl of Trix you’re craving?

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