I got the Wii for Christmas. It was a torturous month, because I’d witnessed no less than 25,000,000 Wii systems on sale at the Toys ‘R’ Us across the street from where I work (this particular TRU had hosted one of the bigger launch events, so they had more Wiis than they could sell — even after raising the maximum per-person purchase to three systems). I had money in my wallet and the damn thing was right there for the taking, but since I knew it was already coming my way for Christmas, buying myself one was strictly forbidden.

I’ve owned systems and have played video games consistently throughout my life, but really, I fell off the wagon during the 16-bit era and never came back. It wasn’t that video games were above or below me — I was just the type of person who, for whatever reason, enjoyed other kinds of couch-side timewasters more than video games. But the Wii? I don’t know. Something sparked. Maybe it was the alluring gimmickry, or the promises of a new Smash Bruddas game. Maybe it was because I loved those sproingy sounds the “ii” in “Wii” made in the commercials. I’m not really sure, but this was the first time in forever that I could look a video game system straight in the eye and tell it that I’d be spending more time with it than any living creature on the planet. I knew I’d get along with the Wii, and my first week with it was no disappointment.

Since I’m a dumbshit when it comes to video games and their progressing technologies and their whistling bells, I have to admit that I was absolutely smitten with all of the little, stupid things you can do with this system. I got the new Zelda game, but I’ve barely touched it. I’ve been too focused on making goofy avatars, seeing what different websites look like stretched out on a big television, and waiting five minutes for the weather channel to load just so I can confirm that what the real Weather Channel told me a minute before turning the system on was correct.

And that’s pretty much what I want to cover with this post — the little things. Not because you don’t already know about them, but because I can’t help but think that these little things exist in such a still-burgeoning environment that, for all intents, we’re just months away from however they exist now being just a memory. That’s a garbly sentence, but this is what happens during those rare occasions when I choose to write articles on my laptop from a sleepy recliner rather than a wake-centric desk. So comfortable!

I love the “channels” interface. I love that I can turn on the Wii without putting any games inside it, and still have tons of stupid things to do. I love that there’s dozens of vacant channels, challenging me to fill them with the fun things of the future. I love that I get to navigate these channels by pretending a remote control is a wizard wand. I’ve always done that, but there’s never been a payoff before the Wii.

At this stage, many of the channels only exist to give us some idea of what the Wii can do. I don’t think Nintendo really believes that their weather or news channels are entirely needed, but the idea that we can access such things from a video game system is what counts. I’d prefer horoscopes or some kind of “TRUE FACT OF THE DAY!!” thing, but that’s just me, and I don’t run any shows.

One of the first things you’re supposed to do upon powering up the Wii? Create your “Mii.” Miis are like your various instant messenger and forum avatars; alternatively, they’re like cheap versions of some games’ ability to let you create a character. You can make one Mii or a bunch, and you can consider them reflections of yourself or totally fabricated people that you want to identify yourself with for whatever dumb reasons you may have. Since your Miis are arguably existing and conversing and running around a big white room even when you’re not looking at them, I prefer to think of them as the Tamagotchis of a new generation. I don’t have to feed them or clean their shit, but I still feel like they’re better Miis if I, I dunno, change their hair colors or something every once in a while.

Maybe I’m speaking gibberish, but I kinda hope that Nintendo unveils broader ways to customize the Miis in the future. Right now, the options are pretty limited. Yeah, you can totally make your Miis tall or short, thin or fat. Yeah, there’s plenty of hairstyles, shirt colors and mole placements to choose from. But where’s the other stuff? Why can’t I make my Mii blue-skinned with devil horns and a shirt that says “Love Me Some Chicken” on it? Will I be able to do such things in the future? I mean, come on, we’ve all played a game or two of Yahoo! Chess. If we can pick a blue skinned-devil to represent us there, surely we should be able to do it from the next generation of quality living.

I created a bunch of Miis, because one wasn’t enough, and because I can never be sure if I want to see a male or a female go bowling. The Miis congregate in something Nintendo calls “Mii Plaza,” which is this big ass tiled hall full of nothing but the Miis you put in it. Sometimes, they’ll all just scatter around and inspect their surroundings. Other times, you’ll catch a few of them conversing and never letting you hear what they’re saying to each other. You can even make them stand at attention or organize themselves in alphabetical order. I don’t know why I’m so enamored with this. Meanwhile, the Zelda disc collects dust.

To top it all off, when you want to edit or erase one of your Miis, you just snatch them up from the floor, hold them by their heads and play God as their feet and arms go bananas until you’re done with them. The purpose of the Mii serves more unseen purposes than outright visual ones, but when the “visual ones” include grabbing my creations by their heads and deciding whether to give them a beard or erase them from existence altogether, I know which purposes are more important.

Let’s call this “Part 1.” The story will be continued in “Part 3.”

Fooled you I did yes. It’ll actually continue in “Part 2.” There, we’ll learn exactly how bowling on Wii Sports changed my entire life.

Enjoy SNTing.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!