X-Entertainment | Oatmeal Swirlers, you can give it a swirrrl.

Oatmeal Swirlers, you can give it a swirrrl.

In the most shocking turn of events ever, I went and posted a real, regular article. Caveat is, it's a really short, malformed article. Actually, it was going to just be a blog entry, but I couldn't convince myself to sentence something as awesome as Oatmeal Swirlers to the depths of the blog archive, so, here we are. Oatmeal Swirlers delighted my childhood hands and tongue by letting me draw edible pictures all over oatmeal, and even if you weren't around for those joys, I hope this article will help you understand why they were joys. Includes poorly made spiral graphics and a download of the original commercial.

Posted by Matt on 12/11/2006. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 99 comments

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I totally remembered this. They were pretty good because it actually flavored the oatmeal instead just being slightly fruity/chocolately like regular “flavored” oatmeals.

I would’ve used Gushers instead of Fruit Rollups because they have the goo in them.

Does anyone ever try to draw using the frosting packets in the Pillsbury Toaster Steudels? I usually just end up spreading the frosting with a knife.

Speaking of “healthy” kids food like this, does anyone remember the various Hidden Valley Ranch for kids they put out in the early 90s also. Those were good. I know it made me eat salads. Came in Super Creamy, Taco, Pizza and Cheesy Nacho.

Grinch is on tonite on ABC.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 12/12/2006 4:32 PM

I hate oatmeal, but love the concept of breafast art. This is the reason why my freezer always has Toasters Strudels inside. I am a Toaster Strudel master artisan. Although I swear I never can get ALL of the icing out of that little plastic packet.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 12/12/2006 4:34 PM

I remember that commercial. I still hate oat meal.

I thought Six was hot. She has a really great ass for a white chick.

And what the hell is that kid in the blue doing? Having a seizure?

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 12/12/2006 4:51 PM

Hey Matt, has the Amazon list worked for you in the past? Any readers ever bought you stuff? Also, if you get stuff this year, can you tell in advance?

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 12/12/2006 4:56 PM

Oh my god! Thank you so much for posting this! I keep having recollections of oatmeal with strawberry swirled in, and I could never remember what it was from. Now I know for sure. Yay I love your website so much!

Chestnuts roasted by Anousenka @ 12/12/2006 5:06 PM

I’m glad your oatmeal didn’t eat you, Matt.

(I think we all should’ve gotten together to get him the PacMan game. Sounds like his apartment is getting too grown up.)

Chestnuts roasted by Katherine @ 12/12/2006 5:45 PM

I don’t know if someone has already mentioned this, but it looks like someone from FARK found the Star Wars Holiday Special on YouTube.

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 12/12/2006 6:41 PM

12/12 Advent entry is up…now working on a blog entry that my computer ate a few hours ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/12/2006 8:55 PM

A couple of things.

1: I am convinced now that The Boss is either the Mare or the Santa from one of the old calenders.

2: Kuse is the worst dad ever.

3: Legotron is quickly becoming my favorite character. He and Mistah Snowman need to be in their own spinoff.

4: James Lipton is becoming my favorite new character. (I’m not sold on the Tiger yet)

Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 12/12/2006 8:57 PM

Liz – I remember those…but I don’t remember the name either. Damn it.

Chestnuts roasted by canoesforshoes @ 12/12/2006 9:01 PM

Ugh. Matt, I can’t believe you resorted to the old cut-away-and-leave-the-incredible-reveal-to-the-imagination trick with Tigerboy.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love the calendar, I just feel a little cheated, is all.

Then again, you don’t have to write anything at all, so I guess I should appreciate whatever we get.

So thanks, I guess.

What was I talking about again?

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 12/12/2006 9:04 PM

Rhino, it’s just that you weren’t ready to hear what Tigerboy said.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/12/2006 9:07 PM

Fair enough.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 12/12/2006 9:09 PM

I’m also loving Legotron this season, Kev. I hope he snags one more head before Christmas.

Chestnuts roasted by Jor-El @ 12/12/2006 9:12 PM

Liz and Canoes… are you guys talking about String Thing? I used to use those snacks as insanely long riplines for G.I Joes. Fruit was fun back then.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 12/12/2006 9:26 PM

Eurgh, more off-screen antics? I think the picture of the teeter-totter thingy made up for it, though.

I think The Boss is a Mare, too. I believe I see flipped hair.

Jor-El, I agree about Legotron and I want it to be James Lipton’s head. Because wacky antics are sure to ensue.

Chestnuts roasted by Katherine @ 12/12/2006 9:27 PM

Old E – Yeah, String Thing. I’d just found it, took a lot of googling. I wish I’d just waited for your post, I’m lazy. Thanks for the help

Chestnuts roasted by canoesforshoes @ 12/12/2006 9:37 PM

Do you guys know about the joy of Build-A-Bear workshops? Sure, they’re just milking money out of parents, if you’re gonna be cynical about it. But dammit if they don’t make a cool present to give to your family and friends. And then you can just buy them new clothing for whatever gift-giving occasion comes up. The gift that keeps you from having to think for at least a year

Plus, I just got one from my aunt. Hello Kitty, baby!! I dunno how they got the license, but I don’t care. I just had to have a Hello Kitty. Cause that’s how I roll.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 12/12/2006 10:12 PM

My brother and I used to eat Oatmeal Swirlers all the time!!! We also had Oatmeal with some kind of dissolving things with surprises inside. Like a big ball of sugar or whatever and a gummy treat inside, and when you put the water/milk in the oatmeal, the outside would dissolve and leave the thing. I’m thinking it had gummy dinosaurs inside, but it could have been teddy bears or something else. Hmm…maybe it was teddy bears. I forget.

Also, does anybody else remember cookies called “Giggles”? They had laughing faces on them, and I’m pretty sure they were “sandwich cookies” like Oreos. I think one side was vanilla and one side was chocolate, but maybe I just took them apart and mashed them together that way.

Anyways, I got in trouble once for eating a whole bunch of them because my dad had gotten tired of us asking for a snack and said, “Eat everything in the pantry, I don’t care!!!!!” I had not learned the meaning of sarcasm, and thus I thought we actually had permission to eat the whole package of Giggles.

Chestnuts roasted by Lilly @ 12/12/2006 10:13 PM

Okay, I just finished actually reading the Oatmeal Swirlers article and see that Matt has previously reviewed the hatching Dinosaur Egg oatmeal…I’m pretty sure we had an earlier version when I was a kid. Now I’m pretty convinced the old version must have been teddy bears, since the newer version uses dinosaurs.

My brain gets confused sometimes. Does anybody else remember animals hatching in their oatmeal? Anybody?

Chestnuts roasted by Lilly @ 12/12/2006 10:18 PM

Oatmeal Swirlers is one of the few “gimmick” food items Matt’s reviewed that we ate all the time, in large quantaties. Oatmeal was cheap, filling, and plentiful, even the Swirlers, and my mother figured anything that would get her daughters to eat it was a good thing. Though I DON’T remember the double-swirl packets…

Uh-oh. I’m glad Knacks and Tigerboy are having fun (this may be one of the few times the LEGO calender’s present was cooler), but…who’s minding the baby (not to mention the remaining calender)?

And where do you keep getting the mini-food? Snaring them from random nieces?

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/12/2006 10:19 PM

Lilly, here ya go!

http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/583.html

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 12/12/2006 10:21 PM

May be the boss is the Lego Santa from last year.

Chestnuts roasted by Kowl @ 12/12/2006 10:24 PM

Today’s advent calendar is my favorite entry by far! I’m totally into it -the mystery of “the boss” the chili powder in the sausage gravy and other references, furries…though I have to admit, the baby-goo weirds me out. Other than that I’m so there.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 12/12/2006 10:26 PM

Lilly – there used to be oatmeal where the things would dissolve and gummy bears were inside. I used to eat it at my grandma’s house, so there’s a good chance it was a relic.

Chestnuts roasted by canoesforshoes @ 12/12/2006 10:48 PM

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