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“Winter Series” My Little Pony Dolls…

The Advent Calendar has been updated for December 10th with a joke about James Lipton. Tonight is very exciting for me, because after years of shitty tube televisions while everyone else made the jump, my first big ol' plasma is slated to arrive tomorrow. All 96 pounds of it. I will christen its first turn-on with a Coach rerun, if for no other reason than to be the first person ever to christen their first big ol' new plasma television with that. Think I'll pick the episode where Hayden finds out that his sperm sucks because of all the post-game hot tubbing.

Sorry to get all girl power on you, but I made a vow to myself to review each and every 2006 stocking stuffer I could find, and, well, I found My Little Pony dolls.


It's the fourth "Winter Series" for the collection, and like the Halloween Ponies I reviewed in October, the dolls can only be found at Target. Also like the Halloween Ponies, these crafty creatures have creative monikers: "Winter Wish," "Chilly Breezes" and "Velvet Bow" are their names, and also the names of three strippers I banged in an airplane bathroom on the trip back from Lake Tahoe. What makes certain My Little Ponies "holiday editions" is pretty simple, really -- they just need to be dressed for the ski lodge with Christmas-related tattoos on their asses.


Of the three, I cast my vote for Bestest Yuletide Pony with Chilly Breezes, who aside from wearing giant sunglasses also warms my heart with the big stupid socky hat. Winter Wish likes to buck conventions, or at least, she likes to tell people that she likes to "buck" conventions, because it connects so humorously to her deer antler headpiece. Oh, and there's a reason Velvet Bow is in the back -- she sucks.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to make a mental note that the sparkly silver wrapper paper seen above makes a great photo background, and I should use it more often.

As for the Pony dolls, each comes with a correspondingly colored hairbrush, and each figure's package includes a cutout file card so you can get to know your new friend a little better! Blah blah blah blah blah. Ponies.

Tomorrow, something manlier. Swear. Manly like a race car.

Posted by Matt on 12/10/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 46 comments

I only liked the baby ponies. I used to have huge plastic MLP that wiggled its ears and tale and blinked its eyes.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 12/11/2006 12:22 AM

Just a word of warning: after about 2,000 hours your plasma will start to degrade and your picture brightness/quality will begin to suffer. Fortunatly, plasma has a half-life of about 60,000 hours of usage, so you shouldn’t have to replace the TV anytime soon and you might not even notice it.

Just so you know.

Chestnuts roasted by mnpchan @ 12/11/2006 12:31 AM

So if I never turn it off, I only get 83 days of perfection? :(

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/11/2006 12:33 AM

We got a rear projection for that reason. But I am sure plasma kicks rear projection’s ass!

Chestnuts roasted by Heather @ 12/11/2006 1:08 AM

Don’t throw out your CRT Tube. The NES zapper won’t work on a plasma. That’s reason right there to keep a CRT TV around.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/11/2006 1:28 AM

Anyone wants to know if their ponies from the 80s are worth anything, just look at the thousands on eBay. Twenty somethings LOVE their pastel goodness (not me). (Okay maybe me too)

Chestnuts roasted by Julie @ 12/11/2006 1:40 AM

My Little Ponies? I don’t think so. Voltron will totally kick your pony arses. Then, after I’m done tearing up your my little ponies, I will have Volron battle my army of Transformers. Voltron vs. Megatron , Voltron vs. Optimus Prime , Voltron vs. Grimlock (Dinobot), Voltron vs. Devastator and Voltron vs. Perceptor (microscope)..

Chestnuts roasted by Xenophobe @ 12/11/2006 1:58 AM

I’ll echo many other people’s sentiments and say that I’m really digging the Advent calendar this year. I know I shouldn’t complain, but I do sort of miss the Advert calendar though. I’m not a MySpace kind of guy, and I’d have preferred the Advert Calendar to the Knacks MySpace page. I’ll probably be executed for not loving it, but I’ve said my piece. FREEEEDOOOOMMMMM!!!

I’ve really been loving the Christmas jukebox too. I’m sure my neighbors already think I’m strange, but I blasted songs like “Christmas at Ground Zero” and that Twisted Sister song for half the weekend while I cleaned my apartment. I spent the other half playing Gears of War, so the rest of the time they could hear gunfire and revving chainsaws, followed by inhuman screams.

After two years of ranting about Steve Jobs, Apple, monopolies, and non-replaceable batteries, I finally went over to the dark side and bought myself an iPod. My Creative Zen Xtra went belly up when I dropped it for like the 20th time. I would have gone with another Creative, but I couldn’t find one with more than 30 gig of storage capacity unless I went with a really big video version. Also, they got rid of their best feature- a replaceable battery. Since I mostly listen to music, the smaller iPod with 80 gig made more sense to me- or so I thought.

The software automatically converted everything on my hard drive to Apple’s format, then loaded it onto the iPod. That would be all well and good, except that I spent months deleting all the random shit I got in a big music trade involving me, 6 friends, and a portable hard drive. Unfortunately, I chose to delete it out of the Creative Organizer database, but not from my hard drive. I looked at the status bar the next morning after I plugged in my iPod and gasped in horror as I realized I was downloading such crap as “Smurfs Theme Techno Remix” and a bunch of Britney Spears.

What’s worse, I can’t delete it from my iPod. I have to remove it from iTunes, then sync my iPod to iTunes. Also, setting up the “On the Go” playlists sucks ass compared to the way Creative set up playlists. Frankly, I’m completely underwhelmed by iPod’s interface and software.

And the sound quality is only mediocre! It’s a fucking music player, for God’s sake!

The only redeeming quality is the podcasts, but I’m not all that impressed. I really haven’t found any that I particularly want to watch on a regular basis.

So I’m taking it back and praying for Creative to come out with an 80 gig version of the Vision:M. It’s supposed to be on the way, but I didn’t want to wait.

Thank God for the Circuit City 30 day return policy. There’s a reason I won’t buy electronics any where else. I’m very exacting on what I want, and they never kick up a fuss when I return something because it just isn’t quite right. Hell, they let me return a big screen (a Samsung DLP). The chip in it just wasn’t fast enough for video games, so there’d be a slight delay between when I’d press a button and when the action happened on screen. That TV had a gorgeous picture, and I was really sorry to see it go.

Which finally brings me back to the original topic. Way to go on upgrading to plasma Matt! I’m green with envy- plasma was just too dang expensive for me. Personally, rather than christen it with “Coach,” I’d go for “Sesame Street”, because Big Bird is even bigger on a new Big Screen.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 12/11/2006 2:15 AM

Xenophobe, Voltron could not beat Predaking. Voltron might have had five lions and a big ass sword, but Predaking had a lion, four other animals, and a big ass sword.

And his feet were giant cannons!

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 12/11/2006 2:19 AM

Spaz:

WTF are you talking about iTunes “automatically converting everything you have” into Apple’s Format. That makes NO SENSE. All it should do is import that stuff into your library. And you really can’t blame iTunes for importing stuff that’s on your HD that wasn’t in the Creative player database. Heck, that’s EXACTLY how iTunes works if you delete something from the Library. It leaves a copy on the HD unless you tell it to otherwise when you delete it.

Give iTunes some more time…I think it will do what you want it to. It’s the same kind of thing when you switch from Windows to Mac…You got to relearn how to do some things….

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/11/2006 2:48 AM

What ponies lack in robotic forces, we make up for in numbers. We shall ascend upon you in a vicious pastel wave.

Chestnuts roasted by LemonWitch @ 12/11/2006 3:11 AM

The day I bring a hi-def home–which will be years from now at the rate things are going–I’m most likely going to christen it with something utterly insane, like a 60 Minutes story on surrogate mothers from 1981 (which I have for some reason, because my dad had for some reason).

After that I’ll re-play every single DVD I own just to see the menus in widescreen finally.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 12/11/2006 3:21 AM

Xenophobe, don’t make me go Rainbow-of-Light on your ass.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 12/11/2006 3:50 AM

No, no, no I’m going with Xenophobe. 100% Voltron pwns all comers. Except maybe like two Lionhearts in a row, but since Squall and Voltron would SO be on the same side, it’s not an issue.

“And I’ll form the head!!!”

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 12/11/2006 3:57 AM

Aaah, but the evil My Little Ponies are taking over the world! Yesss! (Have a look at my webpage if you don’t believe!)

And wasn’t there a naughty MLP site called pornopony.com? The mind boggles.

Besides, Lion-O beat Voltron hands down – asexual or not, that guy always kicked ass, albeit with the help of Snarf and Panthro (if you look very closely, you’ll see that good ol’ Snarf was always getting stoned with Panthro behind the Berbil village in the Robear Pub ‘n Grub. That’s why they always took so long to respond to the catsignal. Look at their eyes!!!!) It stands to reason Mum-blah was always peeved because he never got invited to Tygra’s year-end office party – Wilykit still has those naughty xeroxes Lion-O made in his usual drunken stupor… pinned up in her closet. :D

Chestnuts roasted by arete @ 12/11/2006 9:24 AM

Voltron would get destroyed if he battled Devastator or Predaking! If those 2 were able to combine…game over, Autobots, game over…

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 12/11/2006 11:08 AM

Aside the question of Primus and Unicron joining in on the fray, I’d have to side with Thousand Beast King GoLion on this one. Voltron has quite a few tricks up his sleeves aside from Blazing Sword. The lions are powered by the Elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water, and Crumbs. Or is that
stuffing?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/11/2006 3:44 PM

Nice…a return to prominence for mista snowman

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 12/11/2006 4:42 PM

SWEET i had a brief stint in the states a couple of weekends ago and when i found the ponies i thought, i couldn’t take them all home, which one would matt like? and i was right, and it was for the hat and goggles which are clearly kick ass. velvet bow, more like velvet NO!

a hahaha YAY PONIES

Chestnuts roasted by amandaenchanted @ 12/15/2006 12:02 AM

Haha, coach reruns. I did not see that one coming. Hmm. I actually pretty much saw the entire Coach series I think. I do not think I laughed much.

Chestnuts roasted by Halibut @ 12/15/2006 11:42 AM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, December 10th, 2006 at 9:15 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.