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12/06/2006: Celestial Seasonings Holiday Teas!

I'm coming up on some vacation time, which is good, because I've stockpiled enough special holiday edition pieces of crap to keep me writing until Independence Day. It's been a pretty good year for that sort of thing. When I go buy coffee, it's holiday-themed. When the mail comes, the stamps have pictures of Santa Claus on them. When I want a box of Triscuits, I try to peel a big red bow off the box only to realize that it's actually just a graphic imprint. So, so awesome. I love Christmas and I'm really looking forward to having some time to enjoy it.

I was surprised to find these new Celestial Seasonings holiday teas, not because it's so hard to imagine holiday-themed tea, but because I found them at the bottom of a soda freezer in the drug store. The new flavors, "Candy Cane Lane" and "Gingerbread Spice," come in ridiculously festive boxes that have me pining for Christmas dinner at Grandma's even though she's dead and we never actually had Christmas dinner there. It's just that kind of packaging, and that's a good thing, because the teas themselves aren't exactly getting me amped to doodle little award certificates for them.

"Candy Cane Lane" is the leader of the batch. It's decaf green tea, but they somehow managed to give it an unmistakable candy cane scent that just about totally dies as soon as it hits hot water. Pity. "Gingerbread Spice," well, I don't know. I like the idea of gingerbread, but I've never actually eaten a gingerbread cookie under anything less than at-gunpoint duress. I could just be a biased motherfucker, but this stuff smells and tastes like what one would imagine a scratch 'n sniff sticker based on a mushroom to smell and taste like.

But hey, it's not like I bought them to drink. They're for me to set out on the table along with a pot of coffee when friends drop over. Nobody will go for the tea, but they'll appreciate its presence and remember that when it's time to make a decision about jumping from a $40 level to a $50 level on my Christmas present.

The Advent Calendar has been updated for December 6th.

HOLIDAY EDIT! My friend Tummi, of behind-the-scenes fix this fix that magic, has once again lent credence to his claim that I should call him DJ Tummi by revising, revamping and revitalizing X-E's Christmas Jukebox! It's the biggest one yet — over 100 songs! Tummi chose the tracks meticulously and refused to let me add random crap from party CDs bought at K-Mart; for every bad rendition of "Silver Bells" he vetoed, another weird ass awesome cut went in. This year's a great mix of classics, pop favorites, cartoony wonders and totally bizarre but nonetheless hummable tunes. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend the next hour rocking out and wasting my own bandwidth. Thanks, Tummi!

Actually, I'm kind of terrified to see what the spawn of Mare and Kuse looks like… but it's not like she's going to have it before Christmas (I… think?) so I probably have another year of nightmarish visions before seeing the real thing. I may need medication…

Say Matt, on the Advert Caladar, didn't Mare say she ate her parents in the past? That and whatever happened to her brother Mark.

Things happen in other months. In July, for example, it was privately revealed that Mare was talking about her adoptive parents.

Wow, best Advent calendar yet!! Any chance of getting these in book form? BTW, noticed the "chestnuts roasted by" matt. You rock! Man, XE is forming more of my Xmas traditions than my own family now…LOL…can't wait to see baby Kuse!

Ok. I was so screwed up by reading 2 Advent posts. I thought I lost a whole day. You gotta warn a person….
On the plus side……Claire's has some cool Bumble items. I got slippers!
The sad part is there was a kid who tried to tell me that it was the big monster from Monsters Inc.
My outspoken 8 yr old corrected her loudly "Um.no. That's The Bumble. He goes arrrrrrr and bounces. Haven't you seen Rudolph? You need better parents!!"

I love theme tea. I especially love Sleepy Time tea with those bears in the rockingchair. If you put shnapps in it, it is alot like NyQuil without the after day acid drop feeling.

Katherine,
Some days I feel the same. But it is so cool to have a kid like this. It may be even better……

I cannot believe I missed the Advent Calendar yesterday. Blah!….. of course, then today I get to read three. Its good that this one's already up, since I'll miss it tomorrow… y'know,
GUNS N' ROSES!

I'm only on song 22, Twisted Sister's very kickass cover of "Come All Ye Faithful." I'm seeing good things already to an already kickass jukebox!

And now the yearly question: How can I burn the songs to a CD??? I Have a Frat Xmas party to go to, and I'd love to have a cd of lots of the songs to bring!

Actually Matt, I'm drinking the Celestial Seasonings peppermint tea right now. It's a tooss up whether or not it's a holiday tea, because it does feature what looks like candy canes, but the background is a warm spring day.

Man, I hate Celestial Seasonings tea, particularly the holiday flavors. It seems like such a good idea, but then they taste horrible. =x

This may have been pointed out before, but I just noticed that the site's clock is off by an hour. Has it been that way since the time change?

Man, I gotta come here before I got to Knacks myspace page, I didn't I just knew Mare was pregnant when I saw Knacks blog.

That tea looks like something my mother in law would just love. Maybe I should buy her some, I need some brownie points.

so did anyone notice that teddy rumpxin is back. he even has a creepy commercial on tv.

Teddy Rumpxin? Oh no, that guy beat me up practically every day in middle school!

Mare may be birthing sooner than we think….if there's a stroller in the Advent, then there has to be a baby that fits inside later on….

you know it's getting bad (and Josh and Special K know EXACTLY what I'm talking about because we've discussed this) when you reference Knacks or Mare or Kuse in everyday conversation while talking to people who have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

Me: "…just like Tigerboy said to Knacks the other day!"
Friend: "What the fuck are you on?"
Me: "It's from an online Christmas soap opera/comic strip/advent calend-…you know what. Let's just not talk about it."

I found A Charlie Brown Christmas coloring book for $2 at Giant today. It pretty much rules. I'm going to color some of it and blog about it tomorrow.

Matt, this year's Christmas Jukebox is great. Some old favorites with a lot of great new songs. Thanks to Tummi and Matt! Just wondering if anyone else out there has had the opportunity to hear OK Go's cover of "Father Christmas"? Great cover, definitely would sound great on the Jukebox. It supposed to be an exclusive track on a charity CD put out by KROQ-FM 106.7, in Los Angeles. Incidentally, the CD also features exclusive tracks by Angels & Airwaves, She Wants Revenge, Taking Back Sunday, and 30 Seconds to Mars. It also features an exclusive spoken-word track by Kevin Smith relating the story of his family's trip to Disney World, and his discovery years later that his parents shoplifted all the souvenirs they brought home. Pretty funny. If anyone is interested, try searching eBay for "Kevin and Bean's Super Christmas". Bear in mind, these CD's are usually highly desired, and people here in LA buy them for friends who live out of state.

I saw the Teddy Ruxpin (I think that's how you spell it) at Wal-Mart the other day. Looks pretty much exactly the same to me, which is kind of lame… they could have given him a better outfit at least. Or some sunglasses. Yeah.

Speaking of gingerbread, my girlfriend and I are in the process of making a gingerbread house, and boy does it suck. Her mom baked us custom pieces for the walls and roof, and it seems we've got every candy available to decorate, but we just can't get it together. Oh well, next year we're going to make a Gingerbread Houseboat.

At some point, there should be an Advent Calendar "Where are they now" thing featuring all the bit players who no longer appear, such as Mark Winningham, Petey Pooch, and Bird. I miss Bird the most.

Looks like I'll have to pick up some o' that tea, sounds awesome. Unfortunately, as for the Jones Christmas sodas, not so awesome. Target only had on gumdrop flavor left (but about 10 candy cane), and after going home and trying it I am surprised and upset to say I would honestly rather drink grape children's medicine.

Well, maybe that's a little bit extreme but I would rather drink something that I didn't care for very much.

As for the jukebox, it's about time you included the Twisted Sister Christmas in there! I think amazing is the best way to describe it this year. Kudos to Tums.

Is there any way that Jukebox can be downloaded instead of streamed? Or are there legal issues to that?

This is the first year I've been able to keep up with the Advent daily. Rocks as always. I don't get any time off until Xmas eve. But then I'm off until New Year's!! So I'll shut up. Keep up the great work Matt. Your spirit this year is infectious!! Is it me or are there way more Xmas decorations on people's houses this year than usual? Maybe I'm just noticing more.

Sorry for the double post. Jason, there are media players with "record" buttons on them. Look into your configurations and all can be yours. Time consuming though.

Living away from Canada for the first x-mas this year all the way over here in the UK…but the advent calender and jukebox make me feel at home.. THANKS! p.s. i hope waiterbot makes the right decision…

Love the new Jukebox. I love "Do They Know it's Christmas" by Band Aid. Somebody could make killer money doing a cover of that. But one thing that's always perplexed me is when Bono sings 'But tonight thank God it's them…INSTEEEEEAD OF YOUUUUUUU!'. I mean, what the hell? That's not very Christmassy considering what Bono would be doing 20 years later. Kind of out of character for the guy.

And the Advent Calender is a masterpiece as always. That Mare. Man, I would so tap that. It's the angel wings.

One thing about the Jukebox I forgot to mention, Matt: Whither the Crosby/Bowie duet of Little Drummer Boy? You should also consider Sting's rendition of Gabriel's Message for maybe next year's Jukebox if you're finished updating this year's. At least you got Twisted Sister on there, and for that I salute you.

And I was wondering when a raging Star Wars geek like you would put Christmas in the Stars on the playlist. What DO you get a Wookiee for Christmas when he already has a comb? I mean, I take it he's already got a bowcaster. Whenever I put on that awesomely bad album, I keep imagining Artoo and Threepio hosting their own Christmas special from Hoth.

And is Christmas Vacation/Scrooged not the most awesome holiday movie one-two punch ever?

Great calender adventure. Matt, you work for Nickelodeon or something, right? Why in the world aren't there Advent Calender TV specials on Nick every Christmas?

You could get some dopey kid celebrities to do the voices(like Britney Spears' sister as Mare, or those "Suite Life of Zach And Cody" kids to be Knacks and Kuse). It would drive your fans nuts, but I bet kids would love it.

If I drank coffee in the morning it would have been all over my monitor after I read "Twilight Anus."

The calendar is excellent this year…looking forward to the rest of the drama. Twighlight Anus made me titter like a little school girl!

Tummi rox my sox! I'm luvin the jukebox lineup! I didn't even know most of these people HAD x-mas songs.

Wow! Mare's pregnant.
I'm loving the ranchy soap opera with toys. I vote for a book or a holiday special.

I seriously just got a chill when I read about the Teddy Ruxpin sightings. I had one as a child, and it scared me to death. I ended up 'feeding' it pennies (aka jamming the mouth open with metal) so that my mom was forced to get rid of it.

I used to enjoy Teddy Ruxpin and his colorful antics, but my cousin is the one that had that, I only had a My Buddy. Has anyone seen that new Teddy Ruxpin type bear that they have out now? We saw it at Walmart last weekend and wasn't too impressed. It seems like every few years they try to come out with another Ruxpin clone and it fails to do well. I wonder why…?

Teddy Ruxpin used to scare the shit out of me and I don't know why- I mean, he was gentle and soft spoken and everything! Still, gave me the creeps.

Thanks, Matt and Tummi! This jukebox rocks. I love starting my day with Xmas music and a new advent calendar adventure. I KNEW she would be pregnant- why else would you invite that bitchy mother Mare over for the holidays?

I just got to #29 on the jukebox. Talk about obscure greatness! Star Wars Christmas music has got to be the best thing since sliced bread!

GREAT Music TUMMI! Thanks, got me in full Xmas swing by about song 5

The Advent calendar really rocks this year Matt…. I'm actually thinking of getting a MySpace account for NO reason other than Knacks!
(PS: you better start saving all the advent calendars somewhere, they're TOO good to ever get lost! These are almost worth compiling in book form - sort a Xmas themed coffee table book ;D )

Its weird, because I was looking on ebay at Teddy Ruxpins for nostalgia's sake and then the next day I see a commerical for the damn things.

Speaking of creepy childhood toys, did anyone else have a My Pal 2 or some other version of it im not aware of? I mean seriously, that thing was creepy, it would just randomly light up and freak out in the middle of night….Bad, bad memories…

I can't get the jukebox to play. Couldn't get the halloween one to play either. They played last year, has something changed to prevent them from being played on linux?

I didn't bother reading them all so forgive me if this is already up here but those teas were out last year. I have yet to find them this year.

Man, MegaMomMare is Mean. Pro-Choice joke made be laugh like the Million Dollar Man.

Never had gingerbread before. I've also haven't found the Cranberry Sierra Mist either.

Has anyone tried those 50 cent Old-Fashion mini-pies at Wal-Mart? It's in the deli aisle in mine. Come in a cute box instead of a wrapper like the Hostess ones. Comes in Apple, Cherry, Peach, Pecan, and Pumpkin. They're delicious.

I'm afraid that these teas are not anything new and have been around for quite a few years. Every year i forge my cupboards and dust off these packages because they look yummy. What i do LOVE is peppermint candy ice-cream!

I always get called out on calling things "new" when they're just "new to me." You'd think I'd switch up the language by now, but hey look, brand new teas!!

There is just something about Waiterbot that is cracking me the fuck up this year.

What in the heck is the Lego Advent trying to construct? A SWAT standoff? W-Bot got a command center computer desk. Reminds me of that song about Santa getting trapped in a crack house that Dr Demento plays during the Christmas Countdown.

my boyfriend is going to piss himself when he gets home and hears "oi to the world" on the jukebox! best christmas comp. ever!

I really like Candy Cane Lane tea, which tastes slightly minty but also has a nice vanilla overtone. I also like Celestial Seasonings' Sugar Plum Spice.

this is becoming a Christmas Tradition… going to x-e and reading the advent calendar.

Matt,
Next year you should include Norma Lees's "Old Red Santa Suit" in the Juke Box. She also has some other single hits like:
"Hannah Banana"
"Ask Jesus To Come Sit On Your Heart"
"I'm Not An Old Dooshbag" (spelled that way)

I just got back from taking the GREs and I got the score I needed for my Ph.D. application! Now there's a new X-E Christmas jukebox?? This day cannot possibly get any better!

Going rate, when I was considering going into a Ph.D. program, carry the one…..I figure you got a 1200 or above

I got so lucky. I just had to take PraxisI to get into my teaching program. Mwuahahahaha. GREs are a bitch. Congrats!

The peanut mill is still burning. Turns out peanut piles may be the old tire piles of the natural world. Set them on fire, and you've got a near-eternal flame. The whole town smells like a old ashtray now. I hope the foam the fire department is using today works. Otherwise, I'm going to tell the younglings in town that Santa can't come to Anadarko ’cause he's allergic to nut smoke.

Jeff Mack -Congrats on passing your test! Sounds like you're having a great day…

As for me, I am having a TERRIBLE day. I just found out that I no longer have the teaching job in January that I thought I did (not enough students enrolled at the college I was going to start teaching for, and my class was cut) AND I got a bill in the mail today for $368 for medications I bought under my old drug insurance plan- they didn't tell me that certain perscriptions weren't covered. And these are from 2005! I think after so long, they shouldn't even be allowed to ask for the $$$. Sigh.

Kingklash I was thinking about that the other day, with that peanut factory, has there been any cases of people getting sick from "nut smoke" b/c of nut allergies?

I am also enjoying this jukebox so much! I was hoping for Bing Crosby and David Bowie, but no worries I have it on my puter already.

Seeing that Teddy Ruxpin hasn't changed makes me happy, I always get get pissed when they bring back and toy and change it's looks. Just look at Strawberry Shortcake!

It would be awesome if I could figure out how to download the Xe Xmas Jukebox to my Xbox at home. I hate having to listen to all that goodness on my computer and not the surround sound system my Xbox is hookled up to. I love you Matt, there I said it. Not in a homo way, but in an entirely different way that lets you know how much this site means to my sanity. I still am gonna get you a gift, so please email me some ideas.

It's Christmas All Over, Again is just sublime. Tom Petty will always feel like home, and Christmas feels like home, and well I guess the song is the aural equivalent of Hot Chocolate and a roaring fireplace. I've had it in the boxset for years, but I never got around to listening to it religiously until last year. I'll hear it a million times this year, thanks to you and Tummi

No disrespect to Gwen fans, but Oi to the World just blasted me back to the glory days of No Doubt. It's been a long time.

Oooh, I've seen both teas and a few other Celestial Seasonings holiday-related ones at the grocery store where I work, like Christmas Crunch since Halloween. I'm not much for decaf, but I love gingerbread, so I may end up trying that Gingerbread Spice.

Aww, Mare's pregnant? That's sweet! I just hope MamaMare doesn't end up scaring the poor kid to death!

K- I agree! No Doubt used to rock my world, but I don't really like Gwen solo. When I heard that 'Oi to the World' song I felt like I was in high school again…in a good way!

Big thanks to Tummi and Matt for keeping us full of Christmas goodness.
The Advent will have to wait until the weekend because I am swamped. Gives me something to look forward to.

So I've been listenin' to the Jukebox for the last 4 hours…I only have 1 problem with it.

The California Raisins song…is NOT the one from "Claymation Christmas"!! It's another song, "The Rudolph Rap"! Talk about false advertising…

Other than that, it's still kickass, especially the aformentioned Tom Petty & Star Wars inclusions.

…and as it gets closer to midnight I more and more impulsively check the site, regardless of whether I have "Advent Calendar" vibes.

I'm sorry I have nothing else nice to add. (I hate flavored tea. And regardless of its general awesomeness it still bothers me that you have "Claus" spelled "c-l-a-u-s-e" on one of the songs in the jukebox. Fucking Tim Allen.)

Katherine- I think I have it worse than you. When I get off of work I have two tabs open in my browser…one is X-E, one is Myspace. And I refresh way more often than needed.

Well I listened to about 2 hours of the jukebox….MATT!!!! BEST …..THING…..EVAH
Seigh Ride C3PO will get more play than a K-fed joke this holiday season. Just the thing to annoy my co-workers

I went to karaoke tonight and they didn't have any good Christmas songs. I was saddened. Now I smell like cigarettes and taste like drunk men. Bleck.

i was so excited to hear 'making christmas' on the jukebox! im listening to it for the second time now.

In reference to last night's post of mine about the baby being born in the calendar itself:

"Abort mission! Abort mission!" Good god, I'm loving MamaMare more with every passing day.

"WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER SCREAM "WAITERBETTY" AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS?!!"

I just woke up, and I've opened the calendar and I am staring at a picture of tiny, tiny bacon. Just the existence of such things as these is enough, I don't need a story. Just show me tiny versions of regular, everyday items.

Haven't actually read anything yet, but I'm sure it's fantastic, Matt. And even if it isn't, there is a picture of tiny, tiny bacon.

Awesome! I think Waiterbot just described the Advent calendar story perfectly. BTW, does anyone else have their own "at home game version"? I have Waiterbot and Waiterbetty in a little Christmas house diorama myself…

Legotron is becoming one of my favorite characters. That whole sequence was great.

And when waiterbot pulled the former body of waiterbetty from the box I laughed, out loud, and I'm at work, and people looked. Haha.

I have to say the bst part of this one was surfer joining legotron and knacks whole reaction to it….priceless

This was the best day for the calendar yet! Awesome stuff- makes me laugh out loud and feel slightly crazy for doing so. Nice.

Today’s calendar is just so awesomely wonderful! I laughed pretty hard at surfer and legotron. Matt your Playmobil writing skills get better every year!

I gotta say, I am impressed that Mare and Kuse ended up with a little boy and not a girl. I wonder how evil a half-Winningham male can be?

Also, Kuse, lay off the pink pants - Bret 'Hitman' Hart wore pink tights. Teach him the Sharpshooter.

Everytime I see Bad Guy, all I can think is that it looks like he has a Reese's cup wrapper on his head.

Muppet Baby: Yours is much worse than mine, but I can relate. I just got some bills in the mail related to some surgery I had six months ago (that I thought I had just finished paying for.) This is absolutely the worst time of year for large, unexpected medical bills. I've been kind of mopey this week because of it. The most aggravating thing is that they take all the time in the world to bill you, but once they send it they want the payment within seven days. You know medical costs are high when I'm going broke on co-pays. </medical rant>

Katherine: If you loved just looking at the pancakes, I have a site for you to check out.

Does anyone else think that Bad Guy's hat looks like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup wrapper? Or do I think that just cause I'm a fat kid?

Lori– Eep! No! I can't afford to buy tiny cakes and boxes of pizza just to have lying around my house as oddities! Why would you show me such a thing? Marinara Sauce in a stock pot?! Either I hate you or I'm in love.

But that's not why I'm back again, I'm back for unrelated reasons. Does anyone here have anything to say (good or bad) about technical (especially editing and sound) aspects of the movie Alien? I had a paper about it due on Tuesday that I should probably get on.

I feel dangerous. There's a risk my film prof. reads this. But I live life ON THE EDGE. Oh yeah.

I have to admit, I've never been a big fan of Legotron. However, today, I think, changed my mind. He's now awesome. Although now Pizza Chef will feel lonesome. Poor stereotype…

First snow here in Pittsburgh! The best thing about living near an elementary school is looking at the snow-covered schoolbusses and being happy that I'm not on them. Happy holidays.

That whole scene with Legotron was nothing short of absolute greatness. Will we have Headless Surfer hanging around now?

I hope the evil starts soon. I mean MegaMomMare is pretty evil but in that mundane in-laws sort of way. I need me some real, gift-stealing evil.

That tiny food reminds me of when my uncle worked in an appliance store back in the 80's. He used to bring me the fake boxes of food and bottles from the slaes model freezers and fridges….so awesome!

I hate artificial trees. I hate the very idea of them. That being said, I would totally get that Mountain Dew tree.

mandy_Reeves I am so jelous, when I was little I would always want the fake tvs and vcrs in the entertainment units at the stores. I didn't even know they made fake food to go into the fridges! That is so cool!

Jukebox is AWESOME! Spent a good portion of the day listening to it all. Matt…have you ever heard the Cryptkeeper's Christmas album? I have it on cassette…never saw it on cd. It has songs like "Deck the Halls with Parts of Charlie" and "The 12 Days of Cryptmas." Great stuff.

i dont know if anybody already mentioned this but i just got the coolest wrapping paper. its frosty wrapping paper and rudolph wrapping paper from the christmas specials.i figured people on here would think that was cool

Dude. Sugar Cookie Celestial Seasonings is not only Sugar Cookie-ish, but indeed Celestial in its Seasonings. I hate tea, but oh my. So good.

I also wish they'd label it all Celestial Seasonsgreetingses! Or something to that effect. You know, word play. Yep.

Is "twilight anus" a reference to the song "twilight alehouse", a b-side by the rock band Genesis?

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 6th, 2006 at 12:02 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.