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12/03/2006: Christmas Crunch is mine all mine.

The Advent Calendar has been updated for December 3rd, 2006, complete with tiny box of Hostess snack cakes.

Speaking of goat meat, after a near decade-long drought in this area, I’ve finally, finally, finally found a new box of Christmas Crunch cereal. I spent many years falsely believing that the stuff had been discontinued, when in fact, it was always more of a case of my local grocers being unapologetically unChristmassy and not asking Quaker to send them any. That’s still the case around these parts, actually. I had to drive all the way to a pharmacy in Jersey, one that lives under the pretense that its two aisles worth of edibles make it double as a supermarket, to find it. Worth it? YES.


Internet hunting has clued me in on what Christmas Crunch boxes have looked like from year to year. I’ll always remember the nigh-original box as the most iconic, but really, not much has changed — it’s just gotten gaudier, and that’s always welcome around the holidays. The bright green box again features Cap’n Crunch in his Santa garb, along with a slew of green graphics, Christmas lights and funny ornaments. You barely need to decorate the house with a box of this stuff around.


The Christmas Crunch of old consisted of regular Cap’n Crunch cereal mixed with red and green Crunchberries, and the formula hasn’t changed too much — just that the usually roundish Crunchberry shapes have been replaced with hot holiday shapes; namely, Santa caps, Christmas trees, stars and snowmen. They’re easier to decipher on the box than in the bowl, something attributed not so much to breakage than to the fact that…well, they just don’t really look like those things. Close enough.

I eat cereal dry, like a hamster, because I hate milk, like a straightedge Alien Nation dude. I’m pretty indifferent to the normal Cap’n Crunch cereal bits, and find myself cherry-picking anything that’s red and green, treating them like sugary power-ups that fill my soul with more and more holiday spirit upon every swallow. Good stuff.

By the way, if you doubt the power of Christmas Crunch, know this: I opened the box in the presence of my sister’s two girls, who absolutely could not believe that “Christmas had a cereal.” They also cherry-picked the red and green bits.


The back of the box features a cutout ornament — at least, I’m pretty sure it’s an ornament. You’re supposed to cut it out, insert your picture and loop a string through the top. That sounds like an ornament to me. There’s also the usual gamut of on-package puzzle games, so you have something to do while eating breakfast besides chew.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 77 comments

I was really glad to see the Dec. 4th entry up this morning, so I could read it before work. How did Mare know about her Ma?? Hmmmm. Exciting stuff! Also, is Tigerboy some kind of Xmas angel?

Loving the calendar, as always!

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 12/04/2006 8:07 AM EST


I suspect Tigerboy is someone from a past Advent Calendar, although, if I’m right, I don’t want to spoil anything Matt might have planned.

Ghosted by Rhino @ 12/04/2006 8:50 AM EST


I hope Mother Winningham starts f*cking some sh*t up. I need me some evil. My black, heartless existence is screaming for it.

I bought a 4-foot tall inflatable snowman for my front lawn and named him Mista Snowman. My sister wanted to know why and I just laughed coyly.

Ghosted by LemurCat @ 12/04/2006 10:30 AM EST


I love the Cap’n and his crunch. I just a little food shopping yesterday, but I didn’t venture down the cereal isle. I always venture down the cereal isle.

And I don’t like the looks of Mother Mare.

Ghosted by Geoffinsanity @ 12/04/2006 10:43 AM EST


Now that a furry has entered the mix, I feel that this year’s Advent calendar is going to be the best one.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 12/04/2006 11:03 AM EST


F’n big brother here at my office has blocked myspace! Bad enough they got Youtube but now mysace too??? What the F am I supposed to do? WORK? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i hate this place

Ghosted by HiFlex @ 12/04/2006 11:04 AM EST


I got a Wii!! Yay. My mom did the unthinkable and gave me a credit card and told me if I wanted to go stand in line for one I could, because she sure wasn’t. We stood outside in the cold for an hour before Target opened, and we got the fourth of six Wii’s there. Yay.

Ghosted by Tommy @ 12/04/2006 11:51 AM EST


I never have been a huge Captain Crunch fan. But anything dressed up as Santa deserves attention. Today (which is my bd) we finally got enough snow to cover the ground. I am so stoked. It has been the best present so far.

Ghosted by kb @ 12/04/2006 11:57 AM EST


The 1988 Christmas orniment that came with the original Christmas Crunch is hanging on my parents tree. I can’t believe they’ve kept it for 18 years.

Ghosted by Jeff @ 12/04/2006 12:34 PM EST


If they have a Marc’s I will definately buy it…Do any other cereals have Christmas themes?

Ghosted by Jason @ 12/04/2006 12:40 PM EST


Matt,

I can’t believe Chritmas is upon us once again. As usual, the Advent Calendar kicks ass! Keep up the good work!

Ghosted by J-Dog @ 12/04/2006 12:49 PM EST


Where did that mini box of Ding Dongs come from? Plus, what was glued to the plate. Looked like a Whopper. That’s cool.

I LOVE EGGNOG! I’ve already drank two cartons of it this season. Emeril has also making some on his show, but really, who makes their own eggnog? Can’t wait to get more.

Haven’t spotted Christmas Crunch yet (of course, I haven’t actively looked for it), but my Wal-Mart still sells boxes of Franken and Booberry, along with Count Chocula.

Anyone seen the trailer for the remake of Black Christmas? That would make a good Christmas article on Christmas horror films (Silent Night Deadly Nights, Jack Frosts, Santa Slays, Black Christmas, that Tales from the Crypt episode killer Santa episode, etc.)

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 12/04/2006 1:13 PM EST


Muppet Baby, now you’ve given me a craving for a grande Gingerbread Latte. I swear to God that there is liquid crack in that drink.

Mother Winningham’s perfect circles of pink blush scare the bejeezus out of me.

Ghosted by Liz @ 12/04/2006 1:29 PM EST


Boston’s got tonnes of eggnog in the supermarkets. Seems like each of the local milk vendors has their own, plus national dairies, and even Southern Comfort n/a eggnog (exercise in futility?). Eggnog on Christmas Crunch may just be the greatest in-theory idea I’ve ever heard.

Speaking of sweet stuff, I found the Jones soda dessert 5-pack while searching the local Tar-Jay. Can’t wait to try them. Mmm. Pie sodas.

Ghosted by J. Michael @ 12/04/2006 1:31 PM EST


Jeff, my sister and I always fight over who gets to hang up that Captain Crunch ornament. I wonder how many others have survived over the years.

Ghosted by Karen @ 12/04/2006 1:38 PM EST


I’m just glad to know I’m not the only one who only eats cereal dry. Milk is gross.

Ghosted by Joey @ 12/04/2006 2:24 PM EST


I don’t really like tigers, and therefore I’m really not liking this Tigerboy. I hope he gets shot in the woods.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 12/04/2006 2:50 PM EST


Have you milk-haters tried Skim Milk? Whole, 2%, and 1% aren’t exactly palatable to me either. But skim milk is the ambrosia of the gods. Less nasty “glops” when you pour it. And it’s pretty thin overall. Good times.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 12/04/2006 3:02 PM EST


The nuts are still burning, the New Miser Bros. are bizzzarrre enough to warrant the extra letters, and TigerBoy reminds me of a Golden Age Comic character. New Miser Bros sounds like a DS game I’d find at a flea market. December is off to a great start.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 12/04/2006 4:08 PM EST


The nuts are still burning

That sounds like a personal problem. ZING!

Ghosted by Mystie @ 12/04/2006 4:29 PM EST


I’m really not a fan of the Nog at all. I have, however, discovered that it makes an excellent substitute for milk or cream in coffee. I ran out last week and all we had was Egg Nog. It didn’t really flavor my coffee much, and I only had to use a tiny bit. Christmas Crunch on the other hand….yum! I haven’t seen it here yet. I’ll have to look harder.

Ghosted by MissJess @ 12/04/2006 5:15 PM EST


i said i didn’t eat my cereal with milk, but i didn’t say i didn’t like milk. i’m actually a dairy product fiend, but for some reason i cannot stand soggy cereal. 1% is where it’s at.

Ghosted by colleen @ 12/04/2006 5:25 PM EST


Happy birthday kb!
I still have a bottle of nog flavored Coffee-mate sitting in the fridge that I’m scared to try…I’ve been looking for Christmas Crunch but haven’t found it. Did find Peeps Trees, which are also still unafraid of rocking the “Christmas” label.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 12/05/2006 3:31 AM EST


Damn this site! I saw Christmas Crunch yesterday, and was so close to buying it. Even though years of cereal experience tell me that eating it will have the exact same effect on my mouth and Christmas spirit as eating a bowl full of pulverized tree ornaments. Luckily, i was able to escape sans Crunch.

Ghosted by Scumdogg @ 12/05/2006 12:35 PM EST


You got me with the product endorsement. I read this artical yesterday and bought a box of christmas crunch last night. I am now enjoying my first delicious bowl, ah it takes me back.

Ghosted by Melissa @ 12/06/2006 10:36 AM EST


Hey.

i have not seen the new cereal, that which i desire, around, and therefore, feel “deprived”. at a loss, etc.
but anyways. ummm…. what happened thats cool…. i bought (at least) a few hot wheels cars be4 my wife wrecked her nissan altima, (she was ok, the car was absolutely not), which caused me to lose the xmas present money-units to get the car towed to her apartment, from the place of the incident. great fun, although, i thank goodness that she’s okay, and that she ain’t in jail and didn’t lose her licesnse, and all that stuff, …. and… and …. i guess the care is a big fat base of the Christmas spirit unit, after all. peace and love units.-

Ghosted by Oliver Obelisk @ 12/07/2006 11:47 PM EST


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