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11/28/2006: The History of X-E’s Advent Calendar.

Well, it’s almost time for the fifth annual X-Entertainment Advent Calendar. I’ve at times tried to write a summary of the entire story, but it never quite pans out — if it seems confusing to me, surely it’d be too confusing for those who haven’t been reading for the PAST FIVE YEARS.

Let me give it a shot: Every year, the Playmobil toy company releases an “Advent Calendar” playset. It contains many things, but it especially contains many living, breathing action figures named Mare Winningham, who bear no strong relation to the real Mare Winningham, but look just like her.

Mares are born evil, but they don’t have to stay that way. After a wild and destructive romp in 2003, teenagers Knacks and Kuse, taken with the legend of Mare, dug up her gruesome remains and used voodoo tricks to resurrect her. Literally born again, this chief Mare (who in reality is just one of many, many Mares — all clones, see) softened and became good friends with her teenage saviors. In 2004, the trio enjoyed sushi and the many fruits of that year’s Advent Calendar, ultimately saving Santa Claus, and by extension, Christmas itself.

Sadly, Mare sacrificed her own life for that good deed — but don’t fret! With a little Christmas magic, the thought-to-be-unrelated Mare that sprung off the 2005 Advent Calendar remembered her roots and fought for the forces of good once more. Now a brunette, Mare and the typically downtrodden Kuse (who was born without facial features and was ultimately given a new face, albeit an ugly, gray, scarred face, from Santa Claus) forged a romantic relationship, and Christmas was saved once more.

And that’s just the tip. There are evil Mares. There are LEGO Advent Calendars. There’s an unscrupulous fellow named “Waiterbot,” who is essentially a talking brain who can commandeer the body of anyone who gets too close to his hollow head. There are new Santa Clauses, year after year, some good, some evil. There’s even a bit player with eight heads all stacked one right on top of the other.

When we last saw our friends, things were good. Mare and Kuse were enjoying their honeymoon period. Knacks got to ride in Santa’s sleigh. Waiterbot and his bride, Waiterbetty, joined forces with the heroes for no readily apparent reason. But, things change quick in Advent Calendarland, and until it’s time, there’s just no telling what trials, what horrors and what mayhem our friends might face.

It all starts December 1st. Know your history by reading the previous installments…

X-E Advent Calendars Of The Past!
2002200320042005


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 148 comments

the advent calendar layout looks awesome. I can’t wait.

Ghosted by Geoffinsanity @ 11/30/2006 9:38 AM EST


I’m pretty new to the site, so maybe this has been answered, but… why are their names Knacks and Kuse?

Ghosted by Liz @ 11/30/2006 9:40 AM EST


Liz, that’s one of the fabled “X-E Mysteries.” Like, Why was Mare originally a boy? Why would someone contantly eat decades old Spaghetti-Os shaped like pokemon? How and When will Chia Plot end? Why is his name kingklash? Why am I posting here now and not going to class??

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/30/2006 10:31 AM EST


It’s almost here, it’s almost here. This is like the Super Bowl of X-E times a million.

Ghosted by Fox @ 11/30/2006 10:53 AM EST


But I can answer all of those questions, Invader Norbert!

Matt looked at the first advent calendar completely differently from the others. He was younger. More cynical. Less refined. The world of Mares wasn’t clear yet.

Everything tastes better if it’s shaped like a Pokemon.

The Chia Plot will not end.

(I lied, I don’t know about kingklash. I do know that if you try to look him up in wikipedia in firefox it takes you to the “coke blak attack” blog post…!)

And finally, that is what the internet is for… Keeping people out of class. As proof, I’m about to send an e-mail to one of my professors to ask if renting the movie we were watching in class will be enough to keep up with the classwork I’ve missed in the past two days.

Ghosted by Katherine @ 11/30/2006 11:00 AM EST


Well, I’m along for the ride once again this year. I love the new layout, great work (Brian? Matt?). Anyhow, the gang has been through so much over the years, I can’t wait to see what happens next. I think my favorite part that made me laugh out loud was when Waiterbot attached himself to Mare’s head. Awesome.

And yeah… definitely a Krang.

Ghosted by Matt(#2?) @ 11/30/2006 11:25 AM EST


Correction: Jim’s head. “I NEED A BODY!” will live in infamy.

Ghosted by Matt(#2?) @ 11/30/2006 11:29 AM EST


Alright, time to own up. I’m not the biggest fan of the Advent Calender. But I have made the effort to catch up, as I said. And I’m just curious about where the “Mare was originally a boy” came from.

Was it in the blog? Cause I read 2002-2004 as they happened and I don’t remember it. And 2002 lists Mare’s original appearance as “A Little Girly.”

So where did that revelation take place. I mean I now know that the Kuse/Mare stuff actually started in 2004 with a PCU-ish comment about what guys’ll do for ya if you’re nice to them, but I can’t for the life of me find the stuff about Mare originally being a boy.

It doesn’t relate to her faux-stint as JC (not John Cusack! :P ) does it? Cause I thought that stuff didn’t take (cf. Dec 1, 2005).

Ghosted by K- @ 11/30/2006 12:04 PM EST


Third year with the calendar for me. I’ve actually been wondering if we were going to get one this year. My favorite main character is Knacks, but I had a soft spot for Waiterbetty.

Ghosted by James @ 11/30/2006 12:07 PM EST


K-, the original Mare was listed as “A Little Girly!” but the haircut reveals that she was actually a boy. The girls have a flip wig kinda look.

Ghosted by Katherine @ 11/30/2006 12:09 PM EST


AH! Thanks, Kat!!!

I always liked girls with short hair anyway. Although, flippy is still quite nice. Selphie, baby Selphie!!!!!

Ghosted by K- @ 11/30/2006 12:12 PM EST


Holy Sweet Jesus and Baby Jesus.

I can’t wait. And we’re getting an the new Jukebox this weekend. I think there’s more excitement for this years Chrstmas on X-E than in years past.

I’m so totally pumped. I think I’m more pumped than if I saw a ninja flip out and cut people’s heads off….seriously….

Ghosted by Darth Galvatron @ 11/30/2006 12:39 PM EST


Thanks, Invader Norbert. I really enjoyed reading the Advent Calendar archive, but I have to admit that I spent an inordinate amount of time silently wondering what their names meant.

Actually, I often do the same wondering with some of the posters’ names as well :)

Also, has anyone else heard the news? It seems that the Nintendo Wii can be hazardous to your hi-def TV! http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/

Ghosted by Liz @ 11/30/2006 12:48 PM EST


Because “Huey Lewis” was already taken.

Actually, it was the first thing to pop into my head when setting up my Excite page. It just sorta rolls of the table, don’t it?

We gots snow here in western Oklahoma, and it’s all fluffy and puffy. It kinda looks like the snowfall from Donkey Kong Country’s Gorrilla Glacier levels.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/30/2006 1:28 PM EST


Liz: I think ANY object is gonna be hazardous to a TV if it gets hurled at it. People just need to be more careful with the controllers.

I seem to remember last year someone (no idea who) posed the theory that Knacks and Kuse is a play on “no excuse”. Perhaps not a revolutionary theory, but the only one I’ve seen so far.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 11/30/2006 1:35 PM EST


RE: Wii problems: Appropriate Penny Arcade comic:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/11/29

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/30/2006 2:16 PM EST


kingklash: You’re in western Oklahoma? I’m stuck in friggin’ Owasso and we’re getting more sleet than snow. It kept me up mosta last night, in fact. And it’s not letting up. That noise is driving me batty. >_>;

Ghosted by ChibiSoma @ 11/30/2006 3:03 PM EST


OK Advent here we come. I am pumped up for this. Maybe we can have a X-mas art contest since the Halloween one was overlooked? I never got a chance to participate in the older one, and think it is a great idea. Also, Matt, I am getting you something for X-Mas cause this site rocks and I feel dirty getting to read all this stuff for free. If you have an amazon wishlist or something please let me know, I belieave you have me email address from a prior discussion, but if not please use the one listed under my name.

Ghosted by Old E @ 11/30/2006 3:21 PM EST


Wow, I suck without spellcheck.

Ghosted by Old E @ 11/30/2006 3:22 PM EST


I suppose that I was just amused at the thought of people accidentally breaking their TVs with the Wii. My good ol’ 8 bit Nintendo took many (intentional) controller hits, thanks to that jerk-faced machine gun guy at the end of Double Dragon.

Surprisingly, it still works for the occasional round of Zelda or Duck Tales.

Ghosted by Liz @ 11/30/2006 3:29 PM EST


I liked Mare better as a blonde. It matched her starry shirt better.

Ghosted by Tooky @ 11/30/2006 3:31 PM EST


It’s all drifts of potato flakes and dandruff right now in Anadarko. We’ll probably close the store early and I’ll go home to burrow under a pile of blankets and snooze with the TV on. Maybe put the ol’ Yule Log dvd on. Snap, crackle, and snore. Hooray electric blankets!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/30/2006 3:39 PM EST


ONE MORE SLEEP…ONE MORE SLEEP…ONE MORE SLEEP!

Ghosted by Greg @ 11/30/2006 4:39 PM EST


K, Kingklash, and Old E- Here is a “better that Rick Moranis” album. Hanna Banana is my favorite but that’s just me. I think Matt should put her on his Jukebox. Click my name for beautiful music!

Ghosted by Bill @ 11/30/2006 4:49 PM EST


Jazzy-

The “no excuse” theorist was me. :) I’ve been a big fan of those two – I even bought my own Playmobil Advent Calendar, two Utrom aliens and the Christmas House so I can make Knacks and Kuse’s wild adventures. But lego SW figs are EXPENSIVE on ebay. :( Anyone got a spare Knacks and Kuse? Pay ya for em.

Ghosted by Terror Claws Cole @ 11/30/2006 5:46 PM EST


Ready ready ready ready ready. Ready for Advent! I can’t take it!

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 11/30/2006 6:11 PM EST


The new design is killer. I took a screen shot of it. I mean, Charlie Brown, X-E, Chevy Chase. It’s art.

Wait, kingklash..is this the same kingklash as “Kingklash-kickin’ the tires, lightin’the fires”? I can’t remember what that was, but I love saying it.

Ghosted by Tutsuro @ 11/30/2006 6:21 PM EST


Following a google search, I realizes its the other way around, “kickin’ the fires and lightin’ the tires”. Makes less sense, but its still…bitchin….to say.

Ghosted by Tutsuro @ 11/30/2006 6:30 PM EST


So… if Matt is half as anxious as Greg/Jessica Marie/me the first Advent will be posted late tonight, right? Right?!

Ghosted by Katherine @ 11/30/2006 6:44 PM EST


Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes.
Yesyes.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 11/30/2006 6:47 PM EST


good job on the background. it looks great

Ghosted by pdac @ 11/30/2006 7:38 PM EST


This whole Wii thing is just a devious plot by Nintendo to sell people their new Wiisurance!

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/30/2006 7:50 PM EST


http://norma.fam-lee.net/index.php?name=UpDownload&req=getit&lid=41

Here we go. I think the last link was buggy. Anywho…here is a musical genius. I am in no way making fun of her, I am having fun with her:D. Please enjoy and merry Christmas. Can’t wait for Knacks and Kuse!

Ghosted by Bill @ 11/30/2006 7:52 PM EST


Matt,

I hope you caught the Christmas themed Peanut specials on Tuesday. Also, what happened to the christmas lights background? I liked the look…

Ghosted by Cotter @ 11/30/2006 8:02 PM EST


Terror Claws Cole:

Ebay???

try http://www.bricklink.com

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/30/2006 8:21 PM EST


Cotter: I thought the green background was pushing it a bit into “too much” territory, but that’s up for debate!

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/30/2006 8:44 PM EST


TOO MUCH CHRISTMAS!?!

Matt, Matt, Matt… There ain’t no such thing, man.

Ghosted by Rhino @ 11/30/2006 9:17 PM EST


Ok I so knew that was coming. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/30/2006 9:21 PM EST


Is Lars going to arrest me for downloading this, Bill? :P

Whoa, whoa, whoa, 19 minutes? Guh-huh? Who is she the Allman Brothers? No, it’s 5 minutes of song and 14 minutes of dead air. Who uploaded this mp3? More of her quirky charm? :P

Ghosted by K- @ 11/30/2006 9:27 PM EST


Terror Claws – I guess the Cap’n didn’t make enough of his cereal this year, because my Wal-Mart has been out of Christmas Crunch for a week or two. But Hostess has a $3 off rebate for the Rudolph DVD if that helps at all.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/30/2006 9:33 PM EST


Wow- the site looks great! I am SO PUMPED for the calendar this year! “Tomorrow is Christmas- it’s practically here!” Well, ok tomorrow is Dec. 1st. Still, an exciting day!

I haven’t found any Christmas Crunch cereal either- only holiday Froot Loops and Holiday Rice Krispies. Blech.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 11/30/2006 10:17 PM EST


I’m so jazzed; I have advent calendars this year so I can play along, hooray!

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 11/30/2006 10:19 PM EST


Just saw a whole display of Christmas Crunch at my local Kmart. It looked liked they shipped their whole supply to the one location that almost no one would purchase it from.

Ghosted by Carri @ 11/30/2006 11:11 PM EST


Oh man can’t wait.

Ghosted by Sami @ 11/30/2006 11:31 PM EST


Mystie-
Thanks!

I’ll use that as a backup in case I can’t find the crunch. Thanks for the bricklink also, Cam. Well, I’ll check the K-Mart when I can…we’ve had a 10 inch snow storm all day! PLUS: it makes it SOOO much more Christmassy. NEGATIVE: Can’t get out to class or to buy Christmas Crunch. I need a minimum of two boxes to make it to the 25th.

Thanks for the help gang!

Ghosted by Terror Claws Cole @ 12/01/2006 12:13 AM EST


I had planned to go out and buy my own advent calendar (just because the pieces are so damned cute!) but I’m snowed in! YAY! SNOW!

kingklash and ChibiSoma: How deep is your snow?! It’s only up to my ankles. I heard it’s knee-deep in Lawton?

My favorite thing about the new calendar layout… LEG LAMP!

Ghosted by Special K (aka broomstickjockey) @ 12/01/2006 12:48 AM EST


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