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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

The Coffee Stain.

The day started off like it usually does -- I got in a few minutes earlier than most of my coworkers, sat at my computer doing things completely unrelated to work, and sipped coffee. The morning coffee is just about the highlight of everyday for me. A buck and a quarter for a huge cup of steaming heaven from a little cart right out on the street. It's a daily happening and a damn good one. I sipped and sipped, happy as anyone who just got into work could reasonably be. When the day officially began, I walked over to a colleague's desk to discuss a project.

That's when it happened. As I was pleading my case, I noticed that she wasn't exactly "hearing" me. Finally, I paused and gave her the "WHAT" look. She pointed at my shirt, and my day was ruined.


Yep, the ol' sneaky coffee spill trick. Tough to see in the picture, but somehow, enough coffee dripped from my cup to leave my bright gray sweatshirt with an even brighter yellow stain somewhere in the realm of half an inch thick and eight inches long. Our office sweats under fluorescent white lights. There was no hiding this. It was there, and despite my feeble attempts to drown it out with water (leading to the need to sit still at my desk for a full thirty minutes, because on top of the coffee stain, now half my shirt was drenched), it was going to stay there, all day long.

My office is very large, filled with many people that I don't work with on a daily basis, if even ever at all. But most of the workers are really polite, and it's not uncommon to hi/bye someone that you've never actually spoken to before. I hi/byed at least a dozen veritable strangers today, and every single one of them couldn't take their eyes off this stain. Whenever I rode the elevator down for a smoke, all eyes were on that stain. Everywhere I went, eyes drooped down. It's amazing how a half a second's worth of a coffee mishap can cause eight hours of unflinching torture, but that's the way the world works, and tomorrow, I'm bringing a spare shirt into the office...just in case.

Posted by Matt on 11/15/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 145 comments

All right folks, the great hunt for Butter Turkeys is ON! Hopefully I won’t have to leave the state to find them this year …

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 11/17/2006 5:30 PM


Matt,

Smoking? You should be ashamed of yourself!

Chestnuts roasted by Cotter @ 11/17/2006 5:31 PM


Hooray Coffee!
Hooray Tall Chicks!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/17/2006 5:34 PM


what are butter turkeys? are they better?

Chestnuts roasted by dr bong @ 11/17/2006 5:34 PM


Ahhh, a butter turkey is a turkey made out of butter. Instead of having sticks of butter on the table, we have little tiny molded butter turkeys. They’re incredibly difficult to find in my area. Click on my name for a pic.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 11/17/2006 5:39 PM


When IS your American Thanksgiving anyways? Is it this weekend? Again, I am SO JEALOUS that you guys get to have Thanksgiving in between Halloween and Xmas. I wish Canada had it that way.

I got through my day at the pre-school stain free today! Although, a kid sneezed in my face…3 times in a row.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 11/17/2006 5:43 PM


MB,

Thanksgiving is Thursday, actually. Followed immediately by a Holiday for businesses, Black Friday. And as Thanksgiving always marks the day that it is ok to go Christmas crazy for me (more specifically the very minute that Santa arrives at the end of the parade), I am greatly looking forward to it.

In closing, I guess you should be jealous. I certainly would if I were you.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 11/17/2006 5:55 PM


Rhino, I gotta work at both of my jobs on Black Friday: 9 hours at KB during the day (4:30am-1:30pm!!), and CVS from 5-10pm (nowhere near as bad)

When Christmas is over, I am leaving KB! (Toys, not our beloved XE regular)

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/17/2006 6:03 PM


oh it’s actually butter. i thought they injected the turkeys with butter or something!

Chestnuts roasted by dr bong @ 11/17/2006 6:11 PM


I feel for you Norbert. When I worked at Target I had to work on Black Friday. It wasn’t fun. So good luck with that. Try to recover in time for the Advent Calendar.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 11/17/2006 6:12 PM


I obviously wasn’t in line, as much as I would have liked to have been. Did you hear about the guys in Connecticut who robbed a PS3 line and shot a guy who refused to give them his money? Tragic and sad.

You can’t even camp out for stuff anymore w/o fearing theft. :(

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 11/17/2006 8:08 PM


Old E- I got my brother some T shirts from Old Navy last week, they had a 97-cent bin. For 97 cents apiece, you could use a T shirt for anything and still justify it.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 11/17/2006 10:20 PM


I worked at our town’s BRAND NEW Best Buy on Black Friday… from 3:30 am to 2 pm. It was horrendous. But not nearly as bad as working Christmas Eve 7 am to 11 pm. Yeah, I’m glad they fired me for being a shitty salesperson.

Chestnuts roasted by broomstickjockey @ 11/18/2006 3:04 AM


Thanks, Rhino.

Black Friday, eh? Cool. Wish we had that around here.

Tried to see “Borat” last night but it was sold out like 45 minutes before it was supposed to start! So, we wound up seeing “Stranger than Fiction” instead which half of us liked and half of us hated. (I liked it- but I am a bookworm, and I think that helped.)

I have decided that if my preschool wants me to work too many hours close to Xmas than I will just quit. I would rather be home for the holidays than making extra $$$.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 11/18/2006 9:23 AM


Black Friday rocks. I almost always go out to at least 3 stores, and am guaranteed to see someone punch another person in the face at one of them. These people go pshyco at percentage signs. I dstinctly remember seeing a lady in one of the grocery go carts crank the handle like she was on a Harley and plaster a guy against a display full of VHS Tapes. All that rage over 30% off of the last DVD player in the store. I think it cost $199.99 (This is circa 2000 by the way), so ultimately this lady chose vehicular homicide via Hover Round over nissing out on saving 60 bucks on a GE DVD player. That rocks harder than petrification my friends.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 11/18/2006 9:33 AM


Cloud is losing to Link over at Gamefaqs. Unfathomable.

I think my gift to myself this Black Friday will be Final Fantasy III, since KHII: Final Mix supposedly is coming to the states.

I’ve never had to punch anybody. But if say a PS3 became available in a competition scenario, I could totally see myself going all Jingle All the Way. :P It’s going to be hard to resist that, or more realistically snagging a Wii (cause it’s a MUCH better possibility) if I come across one. The whole impulsivity thing (choosing the smaller-sooner reward) may overcome any desire to avoid any first production-generation bugginess (i.e., to exhibit self-control [choosing the larger-later reward]).

I guess as long as no one is seriously or permanently injured, only slap-stick environmental damage occurs, and it’s all in good fun, then holiday competition is okay. Though we as human beings rarely know how to find a happy, harmless moderation in our actions. :(

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 11/18/2006 2:29 PM


Ok, here’s a poll for ya, K-, how many of us actually saw “Jingle All The Way” in the theaters??

*weakly raises hand*

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/18/2006 4:17 PM


I saw The Santa Clause 2 in the theatre. Does that count?

And I plan to see Deck the Halls on Thanksgiving Day… I don’t even like Matthew Broderick, but it’s got CHRISTMAS!

Chestnuts roasted by broomstickjockey @ 11/18/2006 4:34 PM


I got an idea for Matt! He should make up a list of things that may possibly be seen during the holiday shopping season, then we can print us each a copy, and see how many we can check off between Black Friday (when we feed all the kangaroos) and X-Emas Eve.
What kind of weird things have you seen while fighting crowds at this most holey-moley time of year?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/18/2006 4:39 PM


Proudly raises hand!!!!

I LOVE Jingle All the Way. I think it does just a fantastic job of capturing both the unfortunate results of commericialization, materialism, and greed, and the genuine emotion that can be paradoxically married to those concepts. As long as the spirit is still there, commercialization isn’t such a bad thing.

I always try to go shopping Christmas Eve day. I don’t start my shopping then, but I finish it then with extra gifts from whatever money I have left. Many times those are the best gifts of all. And I think that the movie encapsulates that. Well it tries to. Getting up that morning, heading off on your own, knowing you’ll be with your family that night and the next morning. Ahhhhh. Love that movie.

Best Arnold movie? It gets my vote easily. Sadly I’ve never ended up buying it. Fox Family is nice about running it every year though. Well every year I remember seeing it.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 11/18/2006 5:37 PM


I can’t watch Jingle all the Way anymore without thinking of Ahnold on Conan O’Brian screaming “GO SEE JINGLE ALL ZEE VAY! BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER! JINGLEW ALL ZEE VAY!”

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 11/18/2006 6:12 PM


I don’t get the whole deal with all the comment folks proclaiming that they’re the 1st to post. I mean, who gives a fuck who’s 1st? Really. Honestly.

Chestnuts roasted by Amanda @ 11/18/2006 6:52 PM


1st post is very important. It shows that you are so dedicated that you beat everyone else out to the first post. Hey, it’s not like we’re the world’s most mature bunch around here.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 11/18/2006 7:03 PM


I don’t get the whole deal with all the new folks proclaiming that they’re superior to first-posters. I mean, who gives a fuck if you don’t like it? Really. HONESTLY.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 11/18/2006 7:35 PM


Hey, hey let’s not get into WWIII here over the philosophy of first-posts.

Besides, we’ve been there, done that

http://x-entertainment.com/updates/index.php?p=800

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 11/18/2006 7:39 PM


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