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11/15/2006: The Coffee Stain.

The day started off like it usually does — I got in a few minutes earlier than most of my coworkers, sat at my computer doing things completely unrelated to work, and sipped coffee. The morning coffee is just about the highlight of everyday for me. A buck and a quarter for a huge cup of steaming heaven from a little cart right out on the street. It’s a daily happening and a damn good one. I sipped and sipped, happy as anyone who just got into work could reasonably be. When the day officially began, I walked over to a colleague’s desk to discuss a project.

That’s when it happened. As I was pleading my case, I noticed that she wasn’t exactly “hearing” me. Finally, I paused and gave her the “WHAT” look. She pointed at my shirt, and my day was ruined.

Yep, the ol’ sneaky coffee spill trick. Tough to see in the picture, but somehow, enough coffee dripped from my cup to leave my bright gray sweatshirt with an even brighter yellow stain somewhere in the realm of half an inch thick and eight inches long. Our office sweats under fluorescent white lights. There was no hiding this. It was there, and despite my feeble attempts to drown it out with water (leading to the need to sit still at my desk for a full thirty minutes, because on top of the coffee stain, now half my shirt was drenched), it was going to stay there, all day long.

My office is very large, filled with many people that I don’t work with on a daily basis, if even ever at all. But most of the workers are really polite, and it’s not uncommon to hi/bye someone that you’ve never actually spoken to before. I hi/byed at least a dozen veritable strangers today, and every single one of them couldn’t take their eyes off this stain. Whenever I rode the elevator down for a smoke, all eyes were on that stain. Everywhere I went, eyes drooped down. It’s amazing how a half a second’s worth of a coffee mishap can cause eight hours of unflinching torture, but that’s the way the world works, and tomorrow, I’m bringing a spare shirt into the office…just in case.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 145 comments

Bummer

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/15/2006 10:10 PM EST

I carry a Tide-to-Go pen in my purse. You should invest in one, they work wonders.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/15/2006 10:13 PM EST

Shit, I totally need one. You’re right.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/15/2006 10:14 PM EST

There is always something worse. One time a guy I worked with apparently sat in something that had the distinct look of poo, and he walked around for around half a day until someone told him. I don’t think he was right ever again. Coffee shame does not trump poo shame.

Ghosted by goeatweeds @ 11/15/2006 10:25 PM EST

Ugh. Just be glad you don’t wear a uniform. We have these bright blue shirts at the grocery store that show every stain on the planet. Don’t get me started on khaki pants, either. : 0 p

Ghosted by starwenn @ 11/15/2006 10:34 PM EST

Damn, Matt- tough luck. At least it wasn’t ‘green stuff in the teeth’. Things in the teeth you can’t even SEE unless you do a monkey face in the mirror- you’re totally at the mercy of others to tell you…at least with a big coffee stain on your shit, you could notice it yourself.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 11/15/2006 10:36 PM EST

Wow- didn’t mean to type ‘coffee stain on your SHIT’ there- sorry ’bout that.
I guess I should head to bed now and get some sleep for these tired eyes.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 11/15/2006 10:37 PM EST

That’s not a monkey face, MB, it’s a Sora Smile

Double points if you use your fingers. Quadruple points if it’s someone else’s fingers.

Just so think I’m not insane http://cache.kotaku.com/gaming/kingdomhearts.jpg

Ghosted by K- @ 11/15/2006 10:41 PM EST

Ugh this is why I always wear black. But I definitely agree that the first daily coffee fix is priceless. I dig espresso more than the mud, though.

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 11/15/2006 10:49 PM EST

ya know the old jerk sprays water on your crotch and it looks like piss trick? well i was in a urinal next to my coworker and noticed him accidentlly piss on his pants and laughed to myself as he told everyone how he spilled water on himself tht morning

Ghosted by vwarb @ 11/15/2006 10:49 PM EST

I’m more amazed at the fact that your workplace lets your wear sweatshirts to work than anything else.

Ghosted by Mikel @ 11/15/2006 11:13 PM EST

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie

I always wear black as well. It does not prevent ALL stains. In fact I’d say it only hides 1/2 of any stains you may encounter. At best.

For example, yesterday I got spray-cheese my pants. I don’t know how I missed my mouth.

Ghosted by K- @ 11/15/2006 11:46 PM EST

YES Mystie, as soon as I read this I thought “Tide-to-Go Pen”. I have one in my purse too, and it’s a lifesaver. Last year I went out for Mexican food on my birthday and dropped an entire tortilla-scoop’s worth of salsa on my light blue shirt. A little pen application, 10 minutes of damp spot, and my birthday was saved! Hooray!

Ghosted by Welsh Rabbit @ 11/16/2006 12:45 AM EST

Say… I just noticed that the blog did not “fall back” for the time change last month. Either that, or I’m posting into the future.

Ghosted by Welsh Rabbit @ 11/16/2006 12:48 AM EST

Don’t think I’m crazy, but did it stain all the way through the sweatshirt? If your sweatshirt was thick enough and the stain didn’t go all the way through, you could have worn it inside out. Maybe not where you live, but down here the Old Navy stores sell sweatshirts that are made to look inside out, so it wouldn’t have looked all that strange. Just my $0.02.

And in the hopes of making you feel better, I was using one of those bleach pens to get a hairdye stain off my bathroom counter top and when I first opened the pen a bleach bubble popped out on my favorite red hoodie. Now I have a little pink blob right on my chest where everyone can see. Oh, well, I still wear it all the time. Anyway, at least your coffee stain will wash out.

Ghosted by broomstickjockey @ 11/16/2006 12:53 AM EST

best advice to avoid scorn and ridicule is as soon as someone points it out, walk away as fast as possible mumbling about how no matter how hard you scrub you just can’t get those god damn blood stains out. because dried blood on clothes kind of looks brown. if anything it will make you seem witty and quick on your feet.

Ghosted by danny @ 11/16/2006 1:01 AM EST

Speaking of things that happened at work today but don’t really have anything to do with this thread, the candy store across from me has a 5 lb Hershey bar. I asked how many calories it had, and get this…12,000 calories.

Ghosted by Tommy @ 11/16/2006 1:09 AM EST

Eh, don’t feel bad, Matt. I’m the king of ruining clothes with stains. On my honeymoon, I think I killed three of the 7 shirts I brought because of dinner mishaps.

It’s a wonder I have any clothes left what with the way I drop stuff on them. I must have a hole in my mouth or somethin’…

Ghosted by Frito @ 11/16/2006 1:16 AM EST

I hear a lot about the jumbo Hershey bars around the holidays. Today I picked up a larger (like double size) Special Holiday Design Hershey Bar at Dollar General that has Snowmen etched on it. Pretty neat. It’s amazing how Hershey’s went so many years with just regular, almond, and dark chocolate bars and now it seems like there’s a new flavor out every month.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/16/2006 1:20 AM EST

Hey, and I don’t even think regular Hershey chocolate is good at all, and I”m one of the biggest chocoholics you’ll ever meet. It tastes waxy or something. I do love Hershey’s Symphony bars though…mmmm.

Ghosted by Tommy @ 11/16/2006 1:40 AM EST

Lucky me–I’m not addicted to coffee. You can call me a sissy for waking up with milk, but dairy comes out a lot easier….

Ghosted by Mars @ 11/16/2006 1:48 AM EST

Nice image!

Ghosted by Tommy @ 11/16/2006 1:48 AM EST

Thank XE I don’t drink coffee. I drink plenty of soda though, and that gets spilled on me from time to time. And ketchup too, which usually gets on my blue jeans! I hate that!

This is from late in the last blog and I’m reposting it here so we can read it:

canoesforshoes, I’ve definately seen all of them. Life & Adventures of Santa Claus is a good watch, but no one but us two remember it. I’ve seen that version and the 2d one that came out a few years ago and it was pretty good too, and there’s some difference to both stories, like the recent version, Santa gaining immortality does come at the end, but the movie doesn’t revolve around the Immortal Council or whatever the hell its called.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/16/2006 2:02 AM EST

When I grow up, I want to work in an office environment that allows the wearing of sweatshirts and the plug-’n'-playing of Street Fighter 2.

Speaking of Christmas movies; I’ve got Ernest Saves Christmas and Santa Claus: The Movie waiting for me. Childhood favourites, but I’ll probably be incredibly disappointed ‘pon seeing them through adult eyes.

And going back to yesterday’s post, I wish that Rankin-Bass specials set was released Down Under. I had to buy them all separately. At least the Rudolph disc has the Destiny’s Child video… seeing those soul sisters do their thing/thang/thung in Rankin-Bass style stop-motion is something else.

Ghosted by Daniel85 @ 11/16/2006 2:15 AM EST

haha hilarious.. i think i woulda taken a quick break and ran to buy another shirt!

and yo i can’t stand hershey’s chocolate either! i always thought it was a personal thing. i like their special dark bars ok tho

Ghosted by drbong @ 11/16/2006 2:34 AM EST

k- for serious? i dont have problems w/ black shirts, but i guess anytime i spill something it goes onto my jeans and not my shirt. i tried hummus for the first time last week and ruined my favorite pair

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 11/16/2006 2:54 AM EST

Hello everyone,

I confess I have something of a history of getting food stains on my clothes. I wonder if it’s an inborn thing? Also, tonight I, like K-, saw wiicessories at Target(only controller sleeves), as well as an actual wii on display (though not playable; just the box). At the risk of sounding silly, that should be a pretty fun system. I think i’ll start saving for it with my next paycheck. One of the best parts for me ought to be the virtual console, with old console games available. You have to buy points, but it’s fairly reasonable; translating from points, NES games will start at $5 a piece, with newer system games starting higher. I just hope they release the old NES varsion of Darkwing Duck. That gives me an idea for a survey question: What old NES, SNES, Sega Genesis, or Turbografix-16 game would you like to see made available again through wii’s virtual console? Don’t be shy; think of anything you like, no matter how obscure.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 11/16/2006 4:09 AM EST

Anyone got alot of money, want a PS3, and a desire to help out charity? Go to screwattack.com for details.

Hope this isn’t a problem Matt.

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Ghosted by Erik Majorwitz @ 11/16/2006 4:32 AM EST

I’ll go with Equinox, Hoverbored. I have Solstice for the NES, but it just irks me to no end. I rented Equinox from Video Update almost as much as Transformers: The Movie.

Somewhere way back I posted about that. I was hardcore, I threatened physical violence when I thought someone rented TF. Someone who wasn’t me. I kept telling my mom that I was going to just keep Equinox and she wouldn’t let me. Now I get to do that all the time. Thank you Blockbuster for your no-questions-asked, just-pay-us-off-policy.

/heads to eBay

Ghosted by K- @ 11/16/2006 4:33 AM EST

well i already got all those games on my psp but super mario, mario 3, slaughterhouse, punch out, u know the drill

but if they come out with more stuff like the new super mario ds for wii or a virtual punchout with the controller as a boxing glove.. yea i’d rock that

Ghosted by drbong @ 11/16/2006 5:20 AM EST

Matt I always spill on myself, my best friend teases and tells me I need a sippy cup. I seriously want to just drink out of a sealed cup with a straw sticking out of it. If I go to a drive thru and get one of those plastic cups with the lid and the straw I use it until the lid is splitting up and it becomes useless. About 2 days. I haven’t spilled any drinks on myself for a while though. You know ANOTHER thing that sucks? when you get toothpaste on your shirt! that happens ALL the time too!! And you can’t just scrub that off. I guess I just have to brush my teeth everynight like I do just topless. Hehehehehehe.

Ghosted by Goob @ 11/16/2006 6:13 AM EST

I think everyone feels super-embarrassed when they spill on themselves. At least most of you work in a city, where you have the option of buying a new shirt at lunch. I work in the desert, an hour from the nearest town. I also habitually spill stuff on myself. Maybe I’ll give that Tide pen a try.

Hoverbored, I have list of stuff I’d love to see on the Wii’s virtual console. I know we’ll be getting stuff like Mario and Zelda games (many of which I already have for the GBA, although I play them on the DS). However, some other stuff I’d really love to see:
1. Bionic Commando
2. Dragon Warrior
3. Gradius
4. Punch-Out
5. Duck Hunt (with the Wii-mote)
6. Classic Tetris
7. Street Fighter 2 Turbo

Not that I really have time for retro gaming. I barely have time to keep up with even the very best new releases.

Ghosted by spaz307 @ 11/16/2006 7:42 AM EST

Sorry about your luck there Matt. As a pilot, we wear our coffee stains with pride. It’s a sign as a hairy flight. Anyone who has a coffee spill on their shirt gets to give a “no shit, there I was” story. You should just blame it on an elevator mishap or a cubical implosion. Have fun with it.

Ghosted by Bill @ 11/16/2006 9:15 AM EST

I also do not drink coffee. However, I DO drink Tea, which can stain just as bad…

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/16/2006 9:18 AM EST

Although the circumstances are mighty different, I get coffee on myself every day when I work. Lately though I have been thinking of how nice it would be to go to work at 8 or 9 and dress up somewhat and all that hoopla. I have worked in coffee almost all of my adult life and have never had a job where staining your clothes wansn’t a daily possibility.
Today I flipped on the radio and noticed that the soft/rock station has switched over for the holidays. Frickin’ woo!

Ghosted by kb @ 11/16/2006 10:08 AM EST

Matt,

I feel you with the coffee but I had an even worse mishap a few weeks ago. I was at a local eatery for lunch with coworkers and a waitress spilled yellow mustard down my back. Didn’t even tell me so I didn’t know until I got into the back of a coworkers car and smeared it all over her back seat. Not only did I have to help her clean her car but I had to run to the nearest store and buy a new shirt just to return to work. Long story short, ruined the shirt but the owner of said eatery did buy me a new shirt and dinner. Mustard is perminent!

Ghosted by Tigerfan @ 11/16/2006 10:11 AM EST

Well, if it makes you feel any better, Matt, I got up, got dressed, made the commute and was looking in the mirror in the bathroom and found out the butter stain I thought came out a month ago really didn’t. I have a curious dark area on the front of my shirt, and apparently have for the last month or so. I’m kinda disappointed no one’s pointed it out to me previous to this, but I guess that’s actually a good thing. It means that I’m most likely the only one noticing it.

Ghosted by LemurCat @ 11/16/2006 10:28 AM EST

have another shirt at your desk! just for such emergencies.

in other news, today is my 20th birthday. and i had my family celebration last night. check out my cake in all of it’s holy glory:

http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k239/brianfax/cake.jpg

the bakery somehow spelled my name “Bran” instead of “Brian” which makes them idiots. But the placement of fucking BUMBLEBEE would make up for “Happy Easter” or “Go To Hell”.

Ghosted by brian @ 11/16/2006 10:34 AM EST

Happy Birthday Bran, er Brian.

Ghosted by Bill @ 11/16/2006 11:38 AM EST

Poor Matt. That reminds me of the night when I got Wendy’s before work and wound up with a grease stain in my lap. That was a very self-conscious night, too be sure.

As for the Wii, I second the call for Bionic Commando and add Basewars. Some Battletoads action wouldn’t be bad, either.

Oh, and Brian, I think your cake looks like it says Brian, but that’s just my opinion.

Ghosted by Rhino @ 11/16/2006 11:43 AM EST

Grey sweatchirt??!?! When did X-E start this fancy dress code???

Ghosted by Nizzler @ 11/16/2006 11:54 AM EST

A birthday cake with Classics Bumblebee on top? SWEET!

On other things…have there ever been any reviews of the R/B specials on X-E? I’ve been reading for some years now and don’t recall any.

Ghosted by Moony @ 11/16/2006 11:56 AM EST

yeah. it started out as “bran”. my mom yelled at them and made them draw a line on it so it resembled brian. i thought it was hilarious.

and my Transformers Classics collection is almost complete. I got Bumblebee, Starscream, and Megatron for my birthday. And I had already bought Astrotrain. Now I just need Rodimus and Optimus.

Ghosted by brian @ 11/16/2006 11:59 AM EST

It’s not a stain on your shirt. It’s advertisement for the coffee vendor on how tasty it was.

Besides.

You work at Nickelodeon…Don’t they sell t-shirts?

Ghosted by Wenthral @ 11/16/2006 12:05 PM EST

brian Bro, If I ever were to get married, I would want my wedding cake to be topped with MP Prime, any of the classics and Chromia from Galaxy Force. I don’t give a shit, if my wife is going to spend 100 grand on one day, I’m getting something out of it!!!

I don’t care how immature people would think I am, but a birthday cake topped with any TF would make it the best B-day of my life ever in the history of anything!!

Anyway, Matt, I split my pants one day at work. I had to help someone hook up their laptop to a projector and needed to bend down to pick up the wire. I bent at the knees and I heard a loud ripping sound. I’m in no way heavy. I go to the gym and am in very good shape, but happen to have a big ass apparently. It wouldn’t have been that bad if it wasn’t a room full of people as they were having a meeting. These fuckers always wait for their meetings to be in pogress to call me in and help them hook their shit up.

About 3 weeks ago, I went to my brothers bar to have lunch, opened up a bottle of ketchup and it exploded all over me. Other than it just being plain gross that the ketchup was apparently carbonated (sign of bad ketchup, I was wearing a really expensive white shirt. So I had to walk to the nearest men’s store looking like a homeless guy, and trust me, I got a ton of stares. It sucked.

Oh well.

Ghosted by Darth Galvatron @ 11/16/2006 1:03 PM EST

Tommy Cool find. However, I can’t imagine wanting to eat one of those things after playing with it and having my dirty hands all over it. I never was one of those “eats anything” sort of kids.

Also, is it me, or does that site look like a complete copy of X-E?

I call infringement!!!

Ghosted by Darth Galvatron @ 11/16/2006 1:10 PM EST

100 GRAND?! you are nuts. if that money is getting blown you had better get TWO cakes…one with transformers and one with pokemon.

and that site is x-e’s red headed stop brother. i mean…look at the top banner! holy crap. x-e just has more articles.

unless…matt is hosting TWO sites for the same purpose. i wouldnt put it past him.

Ghosted by brian @ 11/16/2006 1:14 PM EST

Tide-to-Go works wonders.

Until it goes foul and starts to smell really, really bad.

Then you, like, are still kind of stained plus you have this horrid funk about you that attracts least 403 times as much attention as the stain.

Ghosted by jeff @ 11/16/2006 1:19 PM EST

I when excessively I am in the office, polluted by my. Any my things being the mustard from the hot dog, being most unpleasant it is me, permit. I everyone looked at me, thought of that the fact that I hide that of the connection and the paper was tried. I returned to the house, i was not possible to wait in order to take that.

Ghosted by Jin Yan @ 11/16/2006 1:29 PM EST

always gotta have an extra shirt around..just in case.

Ghosted by thejyav @ 11/16/2006 1:41 PM EST

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