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The Coffee Stain.

The day started off like it usually does -- I got in a few minutes earlier than most of my coworkers, sat at my computer doing things completely unrelated to work, and sipped coffee. The morning coffee is just about the highlight of everyday for me. A buck and a quarter for a huge cup of steaming heaven from a little cart right out on the street. It's a daily happening and a damn good one. I sipped and sipped, happy as anyone who just got into work could reasonably be. When the day officially began, I walked over to a colleague's desk to discuss a project.

That's when it happened. As I was pleading my case, I noticed that she wasn't exactly "hearing" me. Finally, I paused and gave her the "WHAT" look. She pointed at my shirt, and my day was ruined.


Yep, the ol' sneaky coffee spill trick. Tough to see in the picture, but somehow, enough coffee dripped from my cup to leave my bright gray sweatshirt with an even brighter yellow stain somewhere in the realm of half an inch thick and eight inches long. Our office sweats under fluorescent white lights. There was no hiding this. It was there, and despite my feeble attempts to drown it out with water (leading to the need to sit still at my desk for a full thirty minutes, because on top of the coffee stain, now half my shirt was drenched), it was going to stay there, all day long.

My office is very large, filled with many people that I don't work with on a daily basis, if even ever at all. But most of the workers are really polite, and it's not uncommon to hi/bye someone that you've never actually spoken to before. I hi/byed at least a dozen veritable strangers today, and every single one of them couldn't take their eyes off this stain. Whenever I rode the elevator down for a smoke, all eyes were on that stain. Everywhere I went, eyes drooped down. It's amazing how a half a second's worth of a coffee mishap can cause eight hours of unflinching torture, but that's the way the world works, and tomorrow, I'm bringing a spare shirt into the office...just in case.

Posted by Matt on 11/15/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 145 comments
1 2 3 … 6

Bummer

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 11/15/2006 10:10 PM

I carry a Tide-to-Go pen in my purse. You should invest in one, they work wonders.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 11/15/2006 10:13 PM

Shit, I totally need one. You’re right.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/15/2006 10:14 PM

There is always something worse. One time a guy I worked with apparently sat in something that had the distinct look of poo, and he walked around for around half a day until someone told him. I don’t think he was right ever again. Coffee shame does not trump poo shame.

Chestnuts roasted by goeatweeds @ 11/15/2006 10:25 PM

Ugh. Just be glad you don’t wear a uniform. We have these bright blue shirts at the grocery store that show every stain on the planet. Don’t get me started on khaki pants, either. : 0 p

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 11/15/2006 10:34 PM

Damn, Matt- tough luck. At least it wasn’t ‘green stuff in the teeth’. Things in the teeth you can’t even SEE unless you do a monkey face in the mirror- you’re totally at the mercy of others to tell you…at least with a big coffee stain on your shit, you could notice it yourself. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 11/15/2006 10:36 PM

Wow- didn’t mean to type ‘coffee stain on your SHIT’ there- sorry ’bout that. :)
I guess I should head to bed now and get some sleep for these tired eyes.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 11/15/2006 10:37 PM

That’s not a monkey face, MB, it’s a Sora Smile :D

Double points if you use your fingers. Quadruple points if it’s someone else’s fingers.

Just so think I’m not insane http://cache.kotaku.com/gaming/kingdomhearts.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 11/15/2006 10:41 PM

Ugh this is why I always wear black. But I definitely agree that the first daily coffee fix is priceless. I dig espresso more than the mud, though. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 11/15/2006 10:49 PM

ya know the old jerk sprays water on your crotch and it looks like piss trick? well i was in a urinal next to my coworker and noticed him accidentlly piss on his pants and laughed to myself as he told everyone how he spilled water on himself tht morning

Chestnuts roasted by vwarb @ 11/15/2006 10:49 PM

I’m more amazed at the fact that your workplace lets your wear sweatshirts to work than anything else.

Chestnuts roasted by Mikel @ 11/15/2006 11:13 PM

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie

I always wear black as well. It does not prevent ALL stains. In fact I’d say it only hides 1/2 of any stains you may encounter. At best.

For example, yesterday I got spray-cheese my pants. I don’t know how I missed my mouth.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 11/15/2006 11:46 PM

YES Mystie, as soon as I read this I thought “Tide-to-Go Pen”. I have one in my purse too, and it’s a lifesaver. Last year I went out for Mexican food on my birthday and dropped an entire tortilla-scoop’s worth of salsa on my light blue shirt. A little pen application, 10 minutes of damp spot, and my birthday was saved! Hooray!

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 11/16/2006 12:45 AM

Say… I just noticed that the blog did not “fall back” for the time change last month. Either that, or I’m posting into the future.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 11/16/2006 12:48 AM

Don’t think I’m crazy, but did it stain all the way through the sweatshirt? If your sweatshirt was thick enough and the stain didn’t go all the way through, you could have worn it inside out. Maybe not where you live, but down here the Old Navy stores sell sweatshirts that are made to look inside out, so it wouldn’t have looked all that strange. Just my $0.02.

And in the hopes of making you feel better, I was using one of those bleach pens to get a hairdye stain off my bathroom counter top and when I first opened the pen a bleach bubble popped out on my favorite red hoodie. Now I have a little pink blob right on my chest where everyone can see. Oh, well, I still wear it all the time. Anyway, at least your coffee stain will wash out.

Chestnuts roasted by broomstickjockey @ 11/16/2006 12:53 AM

best advice to avoid scorn and ridicule is as soon as someone points it out, walk away as fast as possible mumbling about how no matter how hard you scrub you just can’t get those god damn blood stains out. because dried blood on clothes kind of looks brown. if anything it will make you seem witty and quick on your feet.

Chestnuts roasted by danny @ 11/16/2006 1:01 AM

Speaking of things that happened at work today but don’t really have anything to do with this thread, the candy store across from me has a 5 lb Hershey bar. I asked how many calories it had, and get this…12,000 calories.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 11/16/2006 1:09 AM

Eh, don’t feel bad, Matt. I’m the king of ruining clothes with stains. On my honeymoon, I think I killed three of the 7 shirts I brought because of dinner mishaps.

It’s a wonder I have any clothes left what with the way I drop stuff on them. I must have a hole in my mouth or somethin’…

Chestnuts roasted by Frito @ 11/16/2006 1:16 AM

I hear a lot about the jumbo Hershey bars around the holidays. Today I picked up a larger (like double size) Special Holiday Design Hershey Bar at Dollar General that has Snowmen etched on it. Pretty neat. It’s amazing how Hershey’s went so many years with just regular, almond, and dark chocolate bars and now it seems like there’s a new flavor out every month.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 11/16/2006 1:20 AM

Hey, and I don’t even think regular Hershey chocolate is good at all, and I”m one of the biggest chocoholics you’ll ever meet. It tastes waxy or something. I do love Hershey’s Symphony bars though…mmmm.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 11/16/2006 1:40 AM

Lucky me–I’m not addicted to coffee. You can call me a sissy for waking up with milk, but dairy comes out a lot easier….

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 11/16/2006 1:48 AM

Nice image!

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 11/16/2006 1:48 AM

Thank XE I don’t drink coffee. I drink plenty of soda though, and that gets spilled on me from time to time. And ketchup too, which usually gets on my blue jeans! I hate that!

This is from late in the last blog and I’m reposting it here so we can read it:

canoesforshoes, I’ve definately seen all of them. Life & Adventures of Santa Claus is a good watch, but no one but us two remember it. I’ve seen that version and the 2d one that came out a few years ago and it was pretty good too, and there’s some difference to both stories, like the recent version, Santa gaining immortality does come at the end, but the movie doesn’t revolve around the Immortal Council or whatever the hell its called.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/16/2006 2:02 AM

When I grow up, I want to work in an office environment that allows the wearing of sweatshirts and the plug-’n'-playing of Street Fighter 2.

Speaking of Christmas movies; I’ve got Ernest Saves Christmas and Santa Claus: The Movie waiting for me. Childhood favourites, but I’ll probably be incredibly disappointed ‘pon seeing them through adult eyes.

And going back to yesterday’s post, I wish that Rankin-Bass specials set was released Down Under. I had to buy them all separately. At least the Rudolph disc has the Destiny’s Child video… seeing those soul sisters do their thing/thang/thung in Rankin-Bass style stop-motion is something else.

Chestnuts roasted by Daniel85 @ 11/16/2006 2:15 AM

haha hilarious.. i think i woulda taken a quick break and ran to buy another shirt!

and yo i can’t stand hershey’s chocolate either! i always thought it was a personal thing. i like their special dark bars ok tho

Chestnuts roasted by drbong @ 11/16/2006 2:34 AM

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 15th, 2006 at 10:04 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.