Though I own pretty much everything on it already, I couldn't resist picking up this nifty "Christmas Classics" DVD set, including everything you can read on the box if you squint hard enough. Nah, I'll name them: You get Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty The Snowman, Frosty Returns, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town and The Little Drummer Boy. Lots of reasons for italicizing and drinking cocoa. Special bonuses include a CD full of songs from the aforementioned shows and a bonus DVD movie, Cricket on the Hearth. The set runs for around 25 bucks, and all told, provides an excellent marathon for those unwilling to hedge their bets on network television running the specials this year.
Course, the real reason I bought this thing had very little to do with the included movies. X-E reader Jason Hurst tipped me off on a special rebate pamphlet that came with the set, including one very special rebate page, more than suitable for framing:
Yes, by buying a box of Christmas Crunch, you'll get five bucks off the DVD set. Five bucks is nice, but proof that there will be a new Cap'n Crunch Christmas Crunch for the 2006 season is worth much, much more. The Cap'n refuses to give up his double scategory point value -- he will NOT bow down to the secularizing satans with some watered down "Holiday Crunch" brand, no sir. Cap'n Crunch is not afraid to say "Christmas." Thank you for being you, Cap'n Crunch.
Every year, people write in to tell me that they've found Christmas Crunch. I haven't had such luck in a loooong time, but with this newfound, ironclad proof that it's either out now or will be out soon, I will not rest until I'm eating throat-slicing, red-dyed, tree-shaped pieces of whatever the fuck Cap'n Crunch is made of. Alleluia. Holy shit.
Posted by Matt on 11/15/2006. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
Invader Norbert – If you haven’t seen The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, I’d look for it on abc family’s 25 days of Christmas this year. It’s nowhere near the level my favorites (Jack Frost, Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town, The Year Without A Santa Claus – for the Miser brothers, of course). But I’d say it’s worth watching at least once, it’s pretty nuts. The Spirit of Death is coming for Santa and a council of crazy non-people have to decide whether or not to bestow the Mantle of Immortality on him. Plus you get this great drum beating/chant calling everyone to the meeting, Dum…Dum….Im-mor-tal-i-ty.
I got Christmas Crunch last year and there were a bunch of pieces that were supposed to be either red or green, but it was like both colors had combined. To form brown. Combined with the fact that you couldn’t tell what the shapes were supposed to be, it was almost like they intentionally tried to make them look like poop.