So, the sad face emoticon in the previous entry was the short version of saying “sorry about not updating.” A longer version comes in the form of the second annual Halloween Countdown article detailing It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown playing on network television. The special turned 40 this year, y’know.
I should’ve known that Halloween’s zero week was going to be an abysmally busy one at work, or at least, I should’ve predicted it enough to avoid making promises my fingers couldn’t cash. Oh well, game face — it’s Halloween weekend, and it’s only Saturday, and there are hundreds of horror movies all over television, and I have Cocoa Krispies with marshmallows shaped like eyeballs. All-or-mostly good here, and I hope it’s all-or-mostly great on your side. Parties? Costumes? Discuss in the comments.
Found these dudes last week on a department store romp last week, and though the content would’ve been too similar to the Creepy Classics article to make for a very interesting Countdown entry, I at least needed to blog ‘em. Scary Stretchies is a broad collection of rubbery monsters from all walks of afterlife, sold for about four bucks a pop on neat little cards. They’re pretty well made and impossibly well detailed considering the materials used to make them, and since monsters are a dish best served crude and generic, I implore you to buy them before they’re replaced with stretchable snowmen next week.
Up first is a random skeleton who glows in the dark, and who has red, gravely viscera inside his meatier parts. For bravado points alone, he’s probably my favorite. Skeletons can’t hold a candle to Dracula or the Wolfman under normal circumstances, but look at this guy’s face. He’s the lead monster and he knows it. On the right, it’s a rather unique perspective of Dracula, with blue skin and a veritable lion’s mane. I’d probably like him more if he wasn’t posed to look like he’s shooing away a bee.
I’m not a big fan of the Wolfman or werewolves in general, but the guy on the left is top notch. He looks kind of like Lucifer from Ghosts ‘N Goblins after a run-in with a bucket of brown paint, diet pills and a clothes-stealing goofball. The apple-wielding witch on the right looks positively drunk. I love how the apple, the striped stockings and everything else make her a sort of amalgam of the many different witches of pop culturedom. She’s the witch who wants to go to costume parties and emphatically answer “yes” to every question starting with “are you supposed to be.”
Finally, some plain old creatures, including a glow-in-the-dark bat who looks awfully cute — like a gentle mouse with wings. On the bat’s right wing, there’s about 45 words worth of trademarking etched on. Seriously, his wing looks like a page in a book. The bat also wasn’t given any arms. Even in bat terms, bats kind of have arms. The spider is about what you’d expect, save for having the biggest ass I’ve ever seen on a spider.
Hmm. How can I extend this? Let’s go with Woolworth.
Click here to watch a late ’70s Woolworth Halloween commercial, of extremely shitty video quality, featuring a woman absolutely obsessed with getting you to shop there. Much of my Halloween memories stem from pharmacy trips, so this one hits home. We’re told of the many fine candies and costume sets available, and then offered an amazing “Sounds To Make You Shiver” album for just $1.89. I’m sure the album consisted of a bunch of rock-dropping-on-the-floor sound effects, but it had the greatest sleeve art ever.
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Ghosted by 
All they had was snoopy, which was pretty lame. CVS will now be called Disappointing.
“Service animals”?
Do tell.