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10/18/2006: The Jason Voorhees Living Dead Doll.

I’m taking what’s become my traditional “Wednesday off” from doing a Countdown entry, because I’m tired and useless and all that jazz. Instead, here’s something that I thought would’ve made for a perfect Countdown post, but there just wasn’t enough for me to say about it beyond AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME.


I know that “Living Dead Dolls” have a pretty poignant poser punk pseudogoth stain on them; at the same time, they’re really cool and they make me wish I wasn’t in my sixties. For those unaware, the collection consists of well made (speaking both of materials and craftsmanship) “baby dolls,” all vamped up to look like corpses, psychos, slashers or all of the above. If you can get past the visions of misguided little girls in Sad Emily shirts carrying these things around the back aisles of bookstores, they’re really nice display pieces, assuming you have a place in your home private enough to display baby dolls with blood all over them.

As a special promotion at last year’s Comic-Con, Jason Voorhees became a Living Dead Doll. I wasn’t there, but apparently, the only people who bought the dolls at Comic-Con did so with intentions of an eBay mark-up. Normally, I’d balk, but for baby Jason? Hells bells, yo.


The neatest thing about the Jason Living Dead Doll is that it specifically references our hero’s look in Friday the 13th Part 3. They could’ve just as easily made him more generic — hockey mask and black shoes, not that he doesn’t have those — and totally gotten away with it. It was definitely made with hardcore fans of the series in mind, which makes sense, because only hardcore fans of the series would pay up to and over fifty bucks for a Jason Voorhees Living Dead Doll.

I loved the way Jason looked in Parts 3 & 4, and I’m really glad that they didn’t explore his later, zombie years. Every detail is correct — he’s got the right clothes in the right colors, and there’s even a big mask gash from the axe Jason took to the head at the end of the film.


The doll comes with Jason’s machete, which is also nice and bloody, but I couldn’t get the thing to actually fit in the doll’s hand. I guess they never expected people to open the boxes, because then they’re worth NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING! Pish and a posh and a 1-2. More incredible is that the mask is removable, revealing a baby-faced Jason Voorhees that increases the likelihood that I’ll kiss something today by 10,000%.

Everything about the doll is just…right. The box utilizes the right color scheme and font; the doll utilizes the right color scheme and, uh, feet. Knowing that my eternal love for all things Jason isn’t something shared by every X-E reader, I should also mention that there’s an Edward Scissorhands Living Dead Doll.

Great doll, great thing, great big waste of money that I don’t regret. I’ve always wondered what Jason’s ass looked like, and now I know. I’m schooled.

On another note, in yesterday’s Countdown entry, I got all whiny about how Toys ‘R” Us stores aren’t organized like they used to be; particularly that they’ve switched out the supermarket-style aisles for randomly placed standees. Well, I went to my local TRU for the first time in weeks tonight, and what do I find? Supermarket aisles. Wow. I don’t know if it was a mandate from HQ or one specific manager’s decision, but if yours is doing the same, and you’re around the same age as me, go there now. Holy memories. I was five-years-old again. Everyone was giving me lollipops.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 69 comments

Stupid broken blog today. Sorry. :(

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/19/2006 8:53 PM EDT


So Jason has a cunt on his ass?

That must be why he is so pissed off.

Ghosted by Count Chocula @ 10/19/2006 9:17 PM EDT


Oh yeah, My Chemical Romance does suck. So does Green Day.

Ghosted by Count Chocula @ 10/19/2006 9:20 PM EDT


Matt, You have inspired a mandatory “It’s the Great Pumkin Charlie Brown” viewing at work next Thursday for all my employees and co-workers. It’s ment to keep traditions, traditions and not screw with what is already great. It actually has a point to it. Thanks Matt. Let you know how it goes.

Ghosted by Billy @ 10/19/2006 9:20 PM EDT


You know, I honestly think you guys are trying to make me go off. Too bad, it’s not gonna happen.

Ghosted by K- @ 10/19/2006 9:58 PM EDT


Oh yeah, My Chemical Romance does suck. So does Green Day.

Ok, now you’ve crossed a line. Green Day doesn’t suck, it’s all the crappy bands that were “inspired” by them that’s giving them a bad name.

But anyway, I went to 2 TRUs today…SUPERMARKET AISLES!!!! But, like mentioned, it’s not completly back to it yet, but it’s better!!

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 10/19/2006 10:10 PM EDT


So it IS happening? Amazing! Aside from the nostalgic fun, it’s also just nicer to have aisles like that when you’re an adult in a toy store without a kid to serve as your cover. Little more privacy. Little less amount of mothers bumping strollers into your ass and yelling that you had no right to be there anyway.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/19/2006 10:13 PM EDT


Yeah, if I were Betsy Palmer and my kid came out looking like Clint Howard, I’d turn into a psychopath too.

Ghosted by Monte @ 10/19/2006 10:52 PM EDT


I’m with Norbert on this one. 12 years and counting. Half my friggin’ life.

Never defile their name again.

Ghosted by K- @ 10/19/2006 11:06 PM EDT


I wish the TRU I work at would convert back to ALL supermarket aisles. Like The Joker mentioned, our Boys section is the only one that got changed… and yeah, that floor looks horrendous from moving the X! :D

I suspect they are doing it because people bitch cause they can’t find anything, and the fact that there are just too many nooks and crannies for people to steal stuff in. In my store, there are no cameras in the juvenile/preschool sections, either. One time I found 2 huge bags of clothes and tons of baby stuff (including about 4 $130 monitors) in the preschool section which was pretty obvious someone was trying to steal.

But ya know what pisses me off about TRU’s HQ? They do everything after the fact. For example, we revamp an entire section, they they decide to change all the endcaps a week later. The big thing right now is the “data strips” they sent us to cover all the shelf lips. They are hard as hell to put on, and just as annoying to change the labels. Then, we had to make ALL new price labels for all the peg hooks and their stupid plastic clip things… Grr. Sorry, I’ll stop bitching.

Ghosted by Ryane @ 10/19/2006 11:18 PM EDT


I was at TRU today, and as I was walking towards the door I was thinking about your recent lament for the supermarket-setup and how much I missed those days, too. Unfortunately, this one was still the “new” style.

Ghosted by Pigeonrat @ 10/19/2006 11:44 PM EDT


The last time I was at a TRU was when I talked my dad into buying the GI Joe aircraft carrier only to find out that is was $100. We comprimised on the oil rig water platform thing. Lucky we had blue carpet. I still wish I had the carrier.

Ghosted by Billy @ 10/20/2006 12:01 AM EDT


i had the carrier.. that damn thing took up as much room as my bed! now that i think about it maybe it shouldn’t have been a permanent fixture on the floor..

my chemical romance is totally underrated.. their last album had much more artistic integrity than green day’s imo.. that one green day track sounded like a direct lift off bowie’s “all the young dudes”

Ghosted by drbong @ 10/20/2006 4:32 AM EDT


Kids, kids.

My Chemical Romance and Green Day suck, and neither band is better than the other one. Actually, I might say Green Day is better. Dookie was ok.

Ghosted by Count Chocula @ 10/20/2006 10:23 AM EDT


what does MCR or Green Day have to do with anything?

and why do people tell eachother what bands “suck”? it’s all based on goddamned opinion. it’s like you’re actually gonna convince someone that a band is terrible, or something.

“dude, green day SUCKS.”

“nu-uh!! i LOVE green day!!”

“nah man, they totally suck.”

“well, i guess you’ve got a point, there. i agree, now.”

everyone likes different stuff. no sense in breeding pointless arguments.

i haven’t been in TRU since my older brother made me go with him bi-daily in search of all the new MOTU toys. he was obsessed…. in the end of it all, he even got ahold of Moss Man, Keldor, and Snake Teela..

Ghosted by michael @ 10/20/2006 1:15 PM EDT


I think talking about how bad a band sucks really sucks, and that when something sucks it does not really belong on this blog. But then again, you might think that opinion sucks. If that is the case, then I suck for posting something that sucks on a blog that most definitely does not suck.

Ghosted by Old E @ 10/21/2006 10:07 AM EDT


Invader Norbert

UMMMM. Are we talking about Massapequa? If so, I must see ASAP. I have some found memories of my aunt purchasing me Darkwing Duck toys in that piece.

Also, I always left Funcoland feeling like I had less of a soul because I traded in most of my SNES games there for next to nothing when I was in like, third grade. :(

Ghosted by Denise @ 10/24/2006 11:29 PM EDT


As the resident cranky old man of the X-E blog (is anyone else in their 30s?) I just want to say that all of your music sucks.

Ghosted by Hellpop! @ 10/27/2006 7:50 PM EDT


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