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My Best Halloween Costume Ever.

It's raining. I stayed home from work today, "sick," and aside from catching up on zzzz, did some mindless web browsing that somehow landed me on Amazon. After lamenting the end of Amazon's long partnership with Toys 'R' Us, I found myself checking my Amazon account information, which makes little sense since I haven't ordered anything from there in months. Interestingly enough, they've got this section that lets you review every order you've ever placed with them, and I found myself trying to connect the dots of my itemized orders from as far back as early 2000. Lots of fun. I found all of these Christmas presents purchased for nieces and nephews, not to mention several attempts on my behalf to rape the system and cash in on Amazon's clearance sales. Twenty Emperor Palpatine figures, scored for 99 cents each! A dozen Furby Babies...5 bucks each!

There were also remnants of obsessions (mostly) past. I don't know what intentions I had for Charmander earrings, nor do I remember ever receiving them, but there they were, all pewter and now forever "out of stock." Give it a shot if you've spent the better part of the Internet age ordering from Amazon; this section is a nice trip down Remembering Things Street.

Tonight's Halloween Countdown entry details the story of my greatest Halloween costume. It's a tale I've mentioned in small bits during previous articles, but this is the whole disjointed shebang.

That article seems very conducive to a blog survey about your best Halloween costume, but I think we've done that like sixty times already. So just use the comments space to talk about your past Halloween costume stories in general. Best, worst, mild, whatever.

Posted by Matt on 10/17/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 90 comments

My cheap plastic bag/half mask costume was Rainbow Brite.

Best costume? A tube of CREST toothpaste- it was a rental though, so I don’t feel it really counts- I didn’t make it or anything.

Once I went as a bunch of grapes- wore brown clothing and taped purple balloons all over myself- what a pain in the ass that costume was!

I was a female vampire once, recycling my slinky black prom dress.

I haven’t been anything good in years, really. Last year I ran out of time and had NOTHING to wear, so I wore my martial arts uniform from Korea (I took Hapkido) along with a funky purple witch hat.

My 2 girlfriends and I dressed as angels once, using white sheets and wings, then we dressed a guy as a pimp and called him ‘Charlie’…

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 10/18/2006 2:21 PM

Gadget Hey the bottom left of the princess liea pic. You got busted! Hehe you have a ton of sex toys right there. Awesome pic though. The rainbow brite pic is awesome too in a different way.

My grandma probably sewed her heart out on my aunt’s and uncle’s costumes because we had one nicely done tweety bird costume and that was pretty much it. It came with a huge head and it was packed with stryofome peanuts that I promptly took that off while wearing it. My elementary school had a halloween carnival where you played games for tickets inside of the various classrooms and then redeemed them in the cafeteria. I went for several years it was fun. You were supposed to donate a bag of candy (plus the price of admission, and the candy was supposed to be given to a teacher a week or two before) and at the door you got an orange trick or treat bag filled with candy. It was basically if you planned on coming then you brought a bag unless you were really poor lol. I remember I saw a simpsons keychain and I HAD to have it, I went back with enough tickets and it was gone, my sister got one for her keychain collection so I begged it off of her. There was this cakewalk where you walked around a masking tape cobweb circle until the music stops and the winner got one of those round store bought cakes. I think you could only do that a couple of times and it was expensive. They didn’t want the same person getting two cakes. They were halloween themed but also german chocolate and others. The teachers hosted the games like carnies it was actually fun. In my tweety bird outfit (which I hated wearing every year because it lacked creativity, so one year i wore sneakers with the outfit and called myself “rockin’ robin” lol I think i was the only one that “got it”

I also had a football player outfit, I had a jersey t-shirt (I believe for the giants, it was blue and orange) that I stuffed the shoulders with another shirt that I kept on pushing under the shirt, I was hoping people didn’t see it. I remember this god awful hick that was like “look maw! A football player!!” and “maw” was not as amused. Ha I think he was giving out fun sized butterfingers. I wore some navy blue mascara underneath my eyes, two lines, like football players, well kinda. I was probably 10, and my older sister was walking me around. a couple of people felt sorry for her and gave her a piece too (she would stand on the end of the walkway) I said “well she’s not trick or treating! She’s just walking me!” i felt it was unfair (which my opinions will change after I have to walk kiddies around) but they felt sorry for her like she was the starving kitty on the doorstep.

I also went as bartman, weird al yankovic, and probably others that I don’t remember. My grandma made the purple mask, we couldn’t think of a way to have spiky hair, we thought of cardboard but that wasn’t right. So I just had it over my normal hair. I took the mask off quickly because I was quickly being made fun of, this was in 7th grade I think. I was always being made fun of. I had some orangish yellow sweatpants, with blue shorts over that, and a light blue t-shirt. Also some bart like shoecovers. I fuckin loved the simpsons and I still do. Weird al I had some keds type of shoes that I made a checker grid on with a marker, I took an old burnette curly wig, I borrowed a hawaiian shirt, and I wore some black tightish jeans. A stoner kid (that rarely showed up to school let alone learn anything) ripped off my hair, I quickly took it back and put it back on. I got tons of “who are you supposed to be?” well if you havta ask you don’t know! I guess that is quite common with weird al costumes. This was 9th grade, a little too old to dress up and go to school. I went as bartman and weird al with friends. Wait I think I just went as a skateboarder (t-shirt, with long sleeved plaid designed shirt with hood, baggy pants, sneakers, bam skater) because I didn’t want people bothering me that much about it. I got braces so I had to give away a lot of my candy, but I traded some too. Tootsie rolls, gum, gummy candies, etc. I could eat milky way, peanut butter cups, anything not too gummy/chewy.

I feel bad because my cousin is 13 and he hasn’t gone trick or treating ever and I wanted to take him, hopefully he’ll go with friends and so I don’t have to make it my personal responsiblity to. Hopefully he feels he isn’t too old!! augh! I am just hoping my little buddy can go this year so he won’t be bitter like us and say he never went and boo hoo.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/18/2006 2:35 PM

Check out this awesome Halloween costume: I was Bea Arthur as Dorothy Zbornak (I am a large dude, so that’s what made it awesome)! And my girlfriend at the time was Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo.

It was the year 2000. While watching The Golden Girls, as I often do, it dawned upon me how great that costume choice would be. I scored a blonde wig that is similar enough to one of Bea Arthur’s hundreds of hair styles, and I spraypainted it grey. It took many trips to thrift stores in order to find sassy old lady clothes and accessories that would be right up Bea’s alley (and fit me). Among the clothing was a big black and white sweater with tassles, a white blouse with large collar for underneath, weird black pants, a huge beige purse, a huge pearl necklace, and huge dangly earrings. Of course, I rolled up the sleeves of my sweater/blouse combo to just below the elbows, just like Bea. My makeup was done quite nicely and I can do a believable Bea Arthur voice if I talk deep enough. I was a 6’4″ burly old lady from 1986, just like Bea Arthur!

I wore this costume to a large collegian Halloween party with my former girlfriend as a convincing Sophia Petrillo. Then, on Halloween Day, I wore this costume to work. One customer actually kind of guessed who I was.

And what do I have in store for this year? None other than The Shockmaster. I’ve got my Storm Trooper helmet all covered with glitter, a black trenchcoat thing with sleeves cut off, and stonewashed jeans, all ready to go (no cowboy boots, though…I can’t find those). I will be falling through walls, losing my helmet, and challenging people to fights all night! Ha ha ha ha ha.

Chestnuts roasted by Rick Vodicka @ 10/18/2006 2:35 PM

holy shit that’s fuckin long, well I hope that my post is amusing to everybody.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/18/2006 2:36 PM

You forgot the accordian, Goob.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/18/2006 3:26 PM

Bea Arthur! HA! I love the show Maude, I would love for them to show it on Tv land (they used to) The Golden girls is one of my guilty pleasures (I am embarrassed to watch it in front of some people) that is such a funny show!

kingklash I didn’t have one, I guess I could of made one out of cardboard or got one at goodwill. But that would of been way too heavy. I am against acessories with halloween costumes, you don’t want to lug it around all night.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/18/2006 3:57 PM

I wanna dress up as Weird Al, but I don’t have long enough hair, and finding a wig like his current do is a total bitch to find.

And I, too loved old school Toys R Us. Back when they started changing over, there were 2 really close to my house. One changed over about a full year or so before the other one did, so I was able to compare the two. I loved the old one better. Nothing like getting your little slip for a video game and then going to that hole in the wall next to the registers for the Video Game Troll to get the game for you and give it to you like you were going to the bank. I think it’s a weird coincidence that the video game section was still where the holes in the walls were.

And I posted this in the last blog but I don’t think many people caught it:

And I was in Target again today, and guess what I saw? THE 2006 JONES SODA HOLDAY PACK!! There’s 2 of em again this year and they’re both at target!

The regular one contains Turkey & Gravy again, but also adds Sweet Potatoes, Peach Cobbler, Pea, and Antacid?! (complete with sippy cup) :O

The 2nd one though seems more normal, as it’s known as the “Dessert Pack” and does NOT have Turkey & Gravy. It has: Pumpkin Pie, Apple Pie, Blueberry Pie, and 2 other pies I can’t remember right now.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 10/18/2006 4:33 PM

I would have loved to have seen some old photo’s of the Ralph Costume. I bet your mom still has them.

- I went as The Joker for like 6years in a row.

Chestnuts roasted by Joker @ 10/18/2006 4:51 PM

My best costume was the “movie theater floor” idea I got from MST3K. It just wore maroon sweats with candy crappers taped to them, and a popcorn bucket on my head. I also tried the “Jiffy Pop” costume once, but it didn’t work as well…mostly because it felt like my head was inside an over.

Chestnuts roasted by TB Tabby @ 10/18/2006 5:08 PM

I went one year as Dolly Parton. Keep in mind I am 6 foot 4 and weigh around 220 lbs. Some guy at the Halloween party came up to me (gaotee and all) and asked where my boyfriend was and why I wasn’t wearing a costume. When I replied that I was Dolly Parton, he sighed stating “you mean those aren’t real” and proceeded to ask me to show him because he didn’t believe me. I proceeded to whip out the balloons I was using and took off my wig
the guy seriously walked out of the house and stayed in the yard for the rest of the night. I do not know of many 6 foot 4 225 lb. big chested women with gotees, but if I saw one, I sure wouldn’t try to pick her up.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 10/18/2006 5:18 PM

I forgot to mention this, but I was in Best Buy yesterday, as per usual, and I saw that Bully had shipped and had a nice display.

Take that Jack Thompson!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 10/18/2006 5:28 PM

That was a great article. I think everyone has a Halloween costume that stands out from the rest. I can only remember my mom dressing me as The Phantom of the Opera and sending me off to school. In retrospect I am suprised I survived that day. I should have been beaten with a sack of oranges.

Chestnuts roasted by Billy @ 10/18/2006 5:48 PM

Is that [i]a[/i] collapsible cup or [i]the[/i] collapsible cup? :D

Chestnuts roasted by Julie @ 10/18/2006 6:19 PM

Excellent update. You are excellent at recreating childhood memories.

One time when I was young and naive, I was in a last minute rush to get a costume. I found some fangs and I got myself a Dracula cape. One would assume this would be a no-brainer, easy win costume.

As the big day neared, I realized that I didn’t have any white facepaint, and couldn’t find it ANYWHERE. Somehow I thought that black facepaint would be ok and noone would notice, I would just be a VERY creepy vampire.

Yes, thats right, I went trick or treating as a black vampire, straight out of Blackula. Living in southern Ohio in a 100% white neighborhood, the costume was greeted by laughs and cheers. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized the implications that my costume implied.

I also got my candy stolen that years and I chased down the older kid and kicked her ass into a gully and got my candy back. Ahh, memories.

Chestnuts roasted by Bricker @ 10/18/2006 6:23 PM

The Toys R Us in York,PA has never changed over to the modern look. It’s 1985 inside and out.
Matt,this was easily your best article ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 10/18/2006 6:33 PM

Wow, you people post a lot. I have never posted here before, but I’ve been religiously following this site for years ‘n’ years.
Most of my Halloween costumes in previous years have been “slutty something-or-other,” (i.e., slutty angel, slutty vampire, etc.) Am I allowed to say slutty here?
Anyway, I wanted to be Elvira this year but couldn’t find a costume, and was too lazy to put one together myself. So I settled for Cher. I’m being Cher.

And I have to disagree with you, Kid Nicky … I think Matt’s best article is easily the three-part Worst Witch review.

Chestnuts roasted by Cheryl @ 10/18/2006 8:08 PM

Is that a slutty Cher?

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 10/18/2006 8:35 PM

My best costume was a homemade Maleficent costume. The silky/satiny horns were the coolest part. I think Marilyn Manson ripped me off years later in his “Nobodies” video. (I hope the link to the picture works.)

Chestnuts roasted by GloomyJack @ 10/18/2006 8:44 PM

Welcome Cheryl! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/18/2006 8:45 PM

Thanks Matt.

Old E, it actually kind of is a slutty Cher. I’m being 70s Cher, when she had a Sonny (and I don’t, *tear*), I’m not being robotic-voiced candy-colored wig Cher of recent years. Anyway, I basically just went to a thrift store and saw a really retro-looking striped dress, and it reminded me of Cher. It is pretty tight and short, so I guess that’s slutty. Halloween is really just an excuse for me to dress slutty and get away with it … anyway, I have boots that go with it, and I also got a really long black wig (I think it was supposed to be for a witch or something), and some fake eyelashes, because Cher’s eyelashes were ridiculously long. I have already resigned myself to the fact that nobody is going to know who I am. But they’ll be able to see lots of leg! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Cheryl @ 10/18/2006 9:41 PM

Seeing lots of leg is always good. Unless you are hairy. Being slutty is also good. Again, unless you are hairy.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 10/18/2006 9:45 PM

Bricker, I too had a costume experience like that, and I wish I could find a picture of it. When I was around 8 or so, I went as Steve Urkel for Halloween. Keep in mind that I was very much a skinny little white kid. We didn’t have any black face paint so we had to use this weird rusty red stuff, and I was pretty pissed; Urkel was black, not East Indian.

Looking back on it now I’m pretty embarrassed that I went one Halloween in blackface.

Chestnuts roasted by Ronald MacKinnon @ 10/18/2006 9:48 PM

I think I’ve mentioned this before on the blog, but my TRU is still using aisles. They’ve done away with a few of them (in the toddler/learning toy section), but otherwise, still aisles.

I pray that they stay that way….

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 10/18/2006 10:01 PM

Hrm… I went as a member of DEVO last year. Complete with energy dome and whip.

This year I’m going as Cthulhu.

My favorite costume evar would have to be… a lost boy. I built a large milk carton, put my head in it, and wrote “have you seen me” under where my face was.

Chestnuts roasted by TRUKK NOT MUNKY @ 10/18/2006 10:03 PM

Yeah, we did Halloween parades at my elementry school too except there were usually no parents there. Just the teachers. Kinda weird. Anyhow, we’d just walk in a giant circle around the play ground, go back inside, eat some sort of Halloween themed snack, and then back to regular class. Looking back on it 20 some odd years later it was a complete joke and waste of time, but back then it was one of the greatest school days of the year!

Chestnuts roasted by StarfleetCaptainRob @ 10/18/2006 10:25 PM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 17th, 2006 at 11:32 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.