Yeah, it was pretty unforgivable of me not to post on Friday the 13th, during an October, no less, but that's the way the chips fell. Saturday's make-up Countdown entry takes a look at Great Pumpkin Fruit Snacks, which are themed more just in packaging than in actual snackage, but remain a worthwhile addition to the season.
Had a funky dream last night. Before bed, I was reading a book about "real monsters of the deep" -- specifically a chapter about giant squid. Sure enough, I dreamt that I owned a giant squid, only in my dream, it wasn't so much "giant" as "air-breathing." We kept it in the bathroom, and if memory serves, it looked more like a gray octopus than a squid. I can only remember little parts of the dream, most notably that the squid ate one of our cats, only to spit the poor slimy thing out later, unharmed. At some point, I guess my mind was trying to process how the squid was able to breathe air. So, in the next "shot," the squid was wandering the house in some kind of Aliens-esque exosuit. Hrm. No more Fiery Habanero Doritos before bed.
Earlier today, we went to some Halloween Fair at a big field across town, and remained there for approximately three seconds before realizing that there was nothing worth staying for. There were dozens of kids in costume doing sack races and painting pumpkins, and a few vendors selling pies, but they weren't like, homemade pumpkin pies or anything -- they were fucking boxed Entermann's pies. I couldn't help giving the old lady running that particular table a dirty look, and I'm usually so nice and polite to old ladies. But come on...the field is two minutes from a giant supermarket, and it was obvious that she just went food shopping before the fair and marked up whatever she could find. And this shit wasn't for charity! She just wanted profit on store-bought pies! The nerve!
There was a hayride attraction with real horses, but the line was insanely, insanely long. We couldn't justify waiting two hours for a quick stroll through the woods, but I'm really regretting that, because this seemed like just the type of "haunted hayride" that'd make good on the old low-rent hayride standby of having a guy in a gorilla suit running around the finish line.
The trail entrance for the horsey hayride was covered in phony spider webs, and God damn, we so should've bit the bullet and waited on line. I'm all for the super souped-up hayrides with electronic attractions and million-dollar theatrics, but there's nothing like the old school versions that roll you through an otherwise normal dirt road while someone on the cart makes wolf noises at random intervals.
If you're here for it, enjoy the Saturday Night Thread.
Posted by Matt on 10/14/2006. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
Haha good call. I was planning on at least going with slit wrists, but thats even better. I just don’t look forward to wearing super tight clothes.
How much is a straitjacket?