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10/11/2006: King Kong Pops & Monster Keychains!

By now, you’ve probably heard about this, which aside from being an altogether shitty situation within itself, also was the genesis for what will go down as one of my worst commutes in the history of me-working. It took almost four hours for me to get home. And the iPod went dead less than an hour in. I am in no shape to be funny let alone coherent for the amount of time needed to do the next Countdown entry, so I’m skipping today. Instead, you get random stuff:

From the same deli that many of the site’s why-are-delis-still-selling-these articles were founded comes King Kong popsicles, found last night in a freezer full of nothing but Klondike Bars and six of these. I’m assuming that they’re from this past summer season, which doesn’t make them ludicrously old, but still makes them old enough to seem past their ripeness and well into a situation where I cannot eat them in good faith.

I’m not really fond of every movie tie-in popsicle getting the “fruity ice” treatment, especially with something like Kong, a monster who would’ve been much more suited for something chocolatey. I’m also a little concerned with their decision to make King Kong neon blue. It honestly took a two minute stare-down for me to associate the lighter blue section in the middle of the pop as Kong’s snout; for a while, it looked more like a pouty face-within-a-face, and it was driving me completely bonkers to stare at a King Kong Popsicle and not see any Kong. Still, let’s give ‘em a few bonus points for including the term “Gorilla Berry” as part of the flavor name.

Less old but just as cool are these Universal Monsters keychains, featuring rubbery action figures of all the classics complete with superfluous faux silver ID tags and plastic belt loop things. There are six total in the series; I went with Dracula and The Creature From The Black Lagoon because…well, fuck the Wolfman, y’know? As the packages say, the figures are really stretchable, so much so that you could easily tie Dracula’s body around a telephone pole before raising your chin and yelling “take THAT Dracky.”

I’m always appreciative when companies continue to pay tribute to the fathers of horror, especially when I know the sad truth that most of today’s kids just couldn’t care less about these characters. I prefer to think that these companies are willing to be “in the red” if it means they’ve done the right thing.

Similarily, those Universal Monsters fruit snacks I wrote about back in 2004 have returned this year, and they’re in a much spookier box to boot.

In other news, Spike TV’s Scream Awards show was surprisingly great. Seriously. Sure, the “awards” were moreover just an excuse to do a thematic special for the intended audience, but if you didn’t particularly care how legitimate they were, this was great stuff. Really cheesy, gory, off the wall and blah blah blah. I was amazed that they put so much into the production — the show didn’t feel second rate at all, with a big ass stage and the best graphics packaging I’ve seen in ages, and though nearly everyone on stage was about as convincing in their telepromter reads as I am talking about the history of the World Cup, I think this show is one of those things that people will write about on their own stupid nostalgia sites fifteen years from now.

They have a scar going down Kong’s face on the package but not the actual product? Do you know how cool that would look and how good that would taste?

Cool freakin’ keychains! We skipped Beetlejuice tonight and watched John Carpenter’s The Thing since we had bypassed the “scary” movies for a few days. It scared the ever-loving hell out of my son, he loved it! Ahh, to vicariously experience first scares again through my son. Please, no one call the department of children’s services.

Continuing the classic monster theme in Matt’s blog post, we are starting the “classics” week in the freudguy household next week. I bought the deluxe box sets a few years ago that included the mini-busts. Frankenstein was my son’s first monster/non-cartoony Halloween feature. That scared the shit out of him, too, back in the day. I just think of it as building my son’s character.

Just wait, Matt. One of these days, you too will be walking that thin line between emotional abuse and father/child bonding while watching horror movies.

Has anyone else seen those Matchbox cars with mini-monster figures at department stores? The Universal Monsters keychains reminded me of ‘em. I know there’s a giant squid, a dinosaur skeleton, an abominable snowman and another or two. Pretty cool stuff; Matt, I’ve seen ‘em at your favorite hangout Target. Coolness all around.

sigh Wolfman rocks. Werewolves are so awesome and tough it hurts to think about but mainly just gets me really pumped. Just felt the obligation to defend them.

Glad to hear you’re ok, if frazzled. I thought about you the moment I heard what went on in NYC today (Philly ain’t THAT far from New York). Even if you can’t write a Countdown update, you can write about expired day-glo blue Kong pops, and that’s something.

I have found Peeps Cocoa Cats!! If you have a “Dollar Tree” store in your town, they have them there. It’s the only place I’ve found them and was ecstatic, considering I didn’t get to try them last year. It’s a package of either 8 or 12 for $1. They do indeed taste like hot cocoa and I have full plans to make a cup of hot chocolate and allow them to replace the normal marshmallows I usually use.

If you want some sent your way, Matt, let me know and I’ll buy some and send ‘em your way. You should have my e-mail in your database. Yay!

Oh my god, those ice pops are sooo cheese!

It was totally f’ing with my brain too, trying to figure out what was going on with them. Love the “Bone Chillin’ Lemon.” Gotta wonder who comes up with that stuff.

I would love a Dracula keychain. We always get the “lifelike” insects, dinosaurs, rubber chickens, etc. keychains in, so hopefully we’ll get those, though I doubt it.

I was literally at work all day long, so I had no real outlet to the world until I got online about a half hour ago. Sorry about your hellish commute, Matt. :\

I’m thankful every day that I live within a 15 minute walk of my office. One of the upsides to living in a small town.
Crazy deranged bloodthirsty werewolves are cool. Mangy, furry wolfman is not. He’s no scarier than an unleashed dog with fleas.

I’ve had a few really upsetting dreams with werewolves in ‘em. These ones were huge, and less into eating you, more into ripping you to pieces in a sheer rage. I think there’s a story in there somewhere.

I’ve seen the Peeps cocoa cats in my local grocery store, as well as at Dollar Tree. I’d go with the supermarket first; I can’t bring myself to eat things purchased at a dollar store, personally; a persoonal tick left over from childhood.

I watched the Scream Awards too. It was pretty good overall. The one thing that I kept cringing at was the delivery of the lame dialog from the 3 chick hosts. I realize prewritten award show banter is never “good”, but they tried to make it all scary/sexy but it just wasn’t working. You’ve got two tasks; look hot & try not to look like an idiot. At least they got one right.

My only other complaint concerns the bands that performed. Korn was a suitable choice for the event, but that song they did sucked arse. And why didn’t they have someone a little heavier than that first group of nancy boys? They should have gotten someone to really scare the crap out of people like Celine Dion or Pat Boone.

I am just proud that you still posted ANYTHING after all of that. Kudos. BTW, LOVED THE HALLOWEEN PLAYLAND ARTICLES!!!
I haven’t been around (which is odd because we are on Fall Break this week. Translation-Monday was Columbus Day Holiday + Fair is in town=Fall Break!). I saw Pooba again but I ran out of cash and couldn’t see Little Gloria but A LOT OF PEOPLE DID. I stood by her house for a few minutes and a ton of people paid their 2 bits to do something they ordinarily would never do: PAY to stare at a short person. Other than that, I mostly rode kiddie rides. This was truly the year that I was in transition. The other rides (FIRE BALL and SUPER-HIMALYA) were full of 12 year olds so I felt a little old riding those but then I rode the BUMBLE-BEE BOMP with E.Claire where the average rider was not even alive in the 90’s. Whatever. The petting zoo seemed to be the only thing where everyone was on the same playing field.

To think that if the crappy Tigers didn’t eliminate my Yanks, this would’ve never happened!

Speaking of crappy work commutes, it was pouring so bad, I thought I should gather 2 of every Cheesy 80s movie/tv show dvd and convert my car into an ark.

Funny you should mention Dracula today. I just came home from a geography class where we watched a short video about eastern Europe. The video talked a fair bit about the origins of the Dracula story, from the reign of Prince Vlad the Impaler in the 15th century to the already-existing Romanian folklore about vampires. The two stories became mixed together ever the years, until the story was adapted into the novel by Bram Stoker. Not usually the sort of thing you learn about in geography class.

Can freezer food really get old, though? I doubt it’s a big health hazard to eat food from the freezer past experation date, but what do I know. I’ve seen you eat weirder stuff (that Nair hair gel, for example).

Ahh Grape Ape. That’s what my friends and I call grape Kool-Aid. No real reason though, other than the fact that it’s grape and seemed like a cool nick name for it at the time. A useless bit of trivial personal information for ya.

i’ll def have 2 check out the spike awards.. and i don’t think i would have ever figured out that wasn’t a face in the middle, i was wondering why he had two gumballs in his hair..

Hey Matt, it isn’t Halloween-themed, but did you know Hasbro has made Megatron a gun again? He’s in the Transformers: Classics Voyager line. I found one today and it’s pretty awesome. It looks like a nerf gun, but that makes sense. Just thought you’d want to know of this development.

I love him, he’s adorable! I saw the gorilla snout first, but I see the bemused guy as soon as you point him out. Sucks about the commute (and the related stuff, of course). And to come home and upload frozen ape confections, it’s too much.
I only watched the Scream Awards on a whim, and it was really a pleasant surprise. I didn’t realize they were going to show that Grindhouse preview, or I would have known to be thrilled in advance. I’ve watched it (the teaser trailer) about eight times now and I’m still impressed. Looks mad scary, and I bet the soundtrack will be genius. The musical performances during the show didn’t do it for me, but Frank Miller was way cute in his acceptance speech. And now I totally want to see Hostel and Exorcism of Emily Rose. (In addition to Sunday, it’s also on Tuesday at 2 am.)

Your commute horror story reminds me that I’m glad I live literally 2 minutes away from the office.

And iPod dead in an Hour? Either time for a new Battery and/or iPod, or you need to charge that guy more often!

Somehow, I had not heard about that crash. But I’ve been sort of introverted lately. Bad news.

I cut a nice sized chunk of my thumb out with a dremel today. Had a bur on it, which is like a 1/2 diameter tube covered in spikes for grinding steel. It took quite a bit of nail with it too. I want a Kong pop to make it better.

JLAJRC, you’re thinking of the Nads Hair Removal gel/cream that Matt dared to eat.

Kris- Yeah right!! If a little baby pug was running at you or Wolfman jumped out of a tree and was going totally ballistic at midnight you’d be more afraid of the latter with good reason. “Fuck Wolfman” nothing. He’s the icon for the blog!

Have you ever heard of Dollar Tree? I work there and almost every little halloween trinket you’ve found is for sale there for a dollar. From the skulls to artificial limbs to full size retro movie posters. Come on, I thought you knew how to find a deal!

Hey, Wolfman was played by Lon Chaney, Jr. and his dad was the king of silent horror, so I think Wolfman’s got the credentials.

I never have nightmares about wolfman, because all of my scary dreams are reserved for clowns and ventriloquist dummies. If it’s a particularly bad dream, it’ll have a robot clown.

I’m torn on the Fuck Wolfman debate. On the one hand, I liked his movies a lot better than the old dracula movies. And probably even moreso than the creature from the black lagoon which was not as horror filled since it took place in a tropical river mostly in the daytime….whereas wolfman was in the foggy countryside doing all sorts of badass doggie stuff.
On the other hand, dracula and the Creature from the black lagoon are just way cooler figures to make toys out of. I mean, they look pretty cool, whereas wolfman, is basically a average schmoe with a hairy face. So, I guess I come down on the fuck wolfman side. Good purchases Matt and Ipod supplemental batteries go for about $10 and provide 8 additional hours, so its time to part with that big X-E moolah.

They make a five or six inch version of those Universal Monsters, too. They’re like three or four bucks each. I actually went with Dracula and The Creature From The Black Lagoon, too. But I almost lost Dracula’s cape to cat hair.

I am in the “Wolfman Rocks” category. “The Wolf Man” is one of my favorite monster movies for the atmosphere in it alone. Granted, the sequels sucked the poop out of a squirrel’s butt but so did most of the other monster sequels. Hell, we’re re-arranging our viewing schedule tonight and watching The Wolf Man. I’m all in the mood now.

DEUCE
I totally agree CLOWNS SUCK! I hate them, I hate them, I HATE them! When I was younger than 5 I had a terrible nightmare and yes in it was a CLOWN! Then when I saw Poltergeist and that DAMN CLOWN was in that room with the kids it brought that dream back! ARGH! Then there was that stupid movie “It.” And yes, ventriloquist dummies aren’t any better and neither are marionettes! SHIVER!

Damn, now I wanna watch “Teen Wolf” and “Teen Wolf 2″…those keychains are awesome! Very realistic, and only $1.99? Cool.

Well, I am now car-less because some stupid lady crashed into me in our apartment parking lot and totally crumpled my back end- the tail light fell out and I have a huge gaping hole looking into my trunk, and the area above the tire/ near the gas tank is all dented, etc. I have been on the phone with insurance companies for TWO DAYS and still, no help. This is awful.

Now I have to take THE BUS home to Quebec this weekend- ahhhh, 6 hours on a smelly bus- on Friday the 13th, no less!

2) It would literally take me six years to decide what I wanted. I’d probably start with a list of about 300 cool logos or cartoon characters and have to narrow it down. But mostly because of rule number 1.

awww…i missed the Scream Awards? dammit. how was Fall Out Boy’s performance?

and does anyone know when It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown comes on? I watched Hocus Pocus on the Disney Channel the other day. It’s one of my favorite Disney movies…and Halloween movies. Not to mention Sarah Jessica Parker has an amazing rack.

“ABC aims to correct that lapse and perhaps return “EM” to its rightful throne, starting on Friday, Oct. 20, when “Extreme Makeover” moves into the 8 p.m. time slot currently occupied by repeats of “Grey’s Anatomy.”

The following week, “Extreme Makeover” will go back on the shelf, as ABC airs a 40th anniversary version of “It’s a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” complete with the bonus cartoon “You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown.”

Woo, a tat! What’s it going to be Muppet Baby? I have one tattoo, but I’ve been itching for another one. My Brother in law and his girlfriend just got one, and it’s really tempting me.

Good stuff on there. Halloween (with enhanced version), plus Halloween II-V and Resurrection (with Halloween I-V and Resurrection playing all day long on Halloween). Plus a smattering of A Nightmare On Elm Street, The Fly, Hellraiser, Puppet Master, Mechagodzilla, and a couple of Friday The 13ths. Plus about 4000000000 more. Can’t wait until the 22nd.

Yes, Jim that has been mentioned on here before several times. I have all 50 answers if anyone needs any.

Hey everyone. AOL In2TV now has a Halloween channel showing old horror films, short-lived horror shows, and Halloween specials (Casper, Flinstones, and Bugs Bunny)

Halloween this year may not even happen, or be as great. It’s snowing up here in the midwest already.

Defamer didn’t watch the Scream Awards but they’ve covered some of the fallout: The trailer for Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse is circulating around the internets. And Rose McGowan has a machine gun for a leg. Not to get too reeled in by half a minute or so of teaser footage, but we might have to see this movie nine or ten times.
Couldn’t agree more with that sentiment (Cameron, I’m only a moderate grammar nazi but that one drives me up the wall :)). I know that Saw probably deserves a lot of credit but during the awards I couldn’t stop thinking that when it comes out Grindhouse could really solidify the whole horror movement into something new (like, I dunno, fewer useless remakes and retreads and more original, inspired and ambitious movies, maybe? I can hope, anyway).

Wow that Gorilla looks like shit. Oh well, it’s better than the superheros the ice cream truck used to give out to me when I was a kid. The Hulk’s face painted on a fucking vanilla popcicle. Goddamn.

Granted, I didn’t watch the whole thing, but I think only My Chem and Korn performed, Brian. They were the only ones mentioned after the whole “and performing live” bit of the intro. I think FOB were just presenters which sucks because they could have recreated 16 Candles on stage.

They also would have had their asses beaten by the crowd most likely. How they didn’t want to slay My Chem for having front row seats I will never know.

Anyone else notice how Rob covertly flicked off the camera when he introduced Korn? Also how he finished the statement “I was on tour with these guys 8 yrs ago” with “back when people actually cared about them” in his head?

I’m pretty sure that Kongcicle is the exact same expression I get on my face the moment before I realize my cat has just curled up a fresh one in the litter box in the other room; right before the smell hits my in full.

The scream awards were sponsored by hot topic. as a long suffering employee I know that the first say… 60 rows of “fans” at the awards were actually every store manager, assistant manager, and in some cases “key holder” of every hot topic in the entire country. The show was taped durring our annual manager’s meeting. Good free swag though…

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