King Kong Pops & Monster Keychains!

By now, you’ve probably heard about this, which aside from being an altogether shitty situation within itself, also was the genesis for what will go down as one of my worst commutes in the history of me-working. It took almost four hours for me to get home. And the iPod went dead less than an hour in. I am in no shape to be funny let alone coherent for the amount of time needed to do the next Countdown entry, so I’m skipping today. Instead, you get random stuff:

From the same deli that many of the site’s why-are-delis-still-selling-these articles were founded comes King Kong popsicles, found last night in a freezer full of nothing but Klondike Bars and six of these. I’m assuming that they’re from this past summer season, which doesn’t make them ludicrously old, but still makes them old enough to seem past their ripeness and well into a situation where I cannot eat them in good faith.

I’m not really fond of every movie tie-in popsicle getting the “fruity ice” treatment, especially with something like Kong, a monster who would’ve been much more suited for something chocolatey. I’m also a little concerned with their decision to make King Kong neon blue. It honestly took a two minute stare-down for me to associate the lighter blue section in the middle of the pop as Kong’s snout; for a while, it looked more like a pouty face-within-a-face, and it was driving me completely bonkers to stare at a King Kong Popsicle and not see any Kong. Still, let’s give ’em a few bonus points for including the term “Gorilla Berry” as part of the flavor name.

Less old but just as cool are these Universal Monsters keychains, featuring rubbery action figures of all the classics complete with superfluous faux silver ID tags and plastic belt loop things. There are six total in the series; I went with Dracula and The Creature From The Black Lagoon because…well, fuck the Wolfman, y’know? As the packages say, the figures are really stretchable, so much so that you could easily tie Dracula’s body around a telephone pole before raising your chin and yelling “take THAT Dracky.”

I’m always appreciative when companies continue to pay tribute to the fathers of horror, especially when I know the sad truth that most of today’s kids just couldn’t care less about these characters. I prefer to think that these companies are willing to be “in the red” if it means they’ve done the right thing.

Similarily, those Universal Monsters fruit snacks I wrote about back in 2004 have returned this year, and they’re in a much spookier box to boot.

In other news, Spike TV’s Scream Awards show was surprisingly great. Seriously. Sure, the “awards” were moreover just an excuse to do a thematic special for the intended audience, but if you didn’t particularly care how legitimate they were, this was great stuff. Really cheesy, gory, off the wall and blah blah blah. I was amazed that they put so much into the production — the show didn’t feel second rate at all, with a big ass stage and the best graphics packaging I’ve seen in ages, and though nearly everyone on stage was about as convincing in their telepromter reads as I am talking about the history of the World Cup, I think this show is one of those things that people will write about on their own stupid nostalgia sites fifteen years from now.

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52 Responses to King Kong Pops & Monster Keychains!

  1. Veronica says:

    The scream awards were sponsored by hot topic. as a long suffering employee I know that the first say… 60 rows of “fans” at the awards were actually every store manager, assistant manager, and in some cases “key holder” of every hot topic in the entire country. The show was taped durring our annual manager’s meeting. Good free swag though…

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