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Halloween Playland’s Gift Shop!


I can't believe how much crap I bought at the Halloween Playland Gift Shop. Too much to cover in one Countdown entry, so I'll spread the remainders around the blog throughout the month. Click the words that are bold to read about my adventures in a gift shop that sells fertilizer and Devil's Hearts right alongside one another.


One of the many items that didn't make the cut for article-inclusion is seen above -- a tub full of goo with a little Dracula figure inside. They call it "Halloween Putty." Other canisters had other monsters and goo in other colors, but it's tough to pick a witch over a widow's peak, even if the witch came in a tub of much cooler red slime.

I didn't have off work today. Our company trades Columbus Day for Martin Luther King Jr. Day. He had a dream, and his dream was robbing me of my rightful October day off. Now I'm going to have to get people to cough on me until it's okay to stay home.

Posted by Matt on 10/09/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 97 comments

Wow…another first! (I think)

I too didn’t have off today at CVS, but it was a good night shift. I went to a greek mixer last night that shut down pretty early, like 11pm early (granted, it started at 8, and the neighbors called the cops. 3 Sororities + Flip Cup = noise)

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 10/09/2006 10:47 PM

Damn i missed first, only just.

Too into the Bronco’s game :-/

As with yesterdays, will save this for the morning. So i can enjoy it more, plus i can’t stop watching MNF. But i can’t wait to read it, the anticipation of wanting to read it is even with the feeling of wanting to savor it.

It’s a battle within.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 10/09/2006 10:53 PM

I think the only people that got off today were students and teachers.

Can’t wait for the other Gift Shop entries! Woo hoo!

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 10/09/2006 10:54 PM

Heads up X-E’ers: A quick search of a certain Burger Monarch’s Website reveals that said Burger Monarch’s masks can be purchased once more. Boo yah. Got two coming to my house. So, now the question is: Indiana Jones, or BK for Halloween?

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 10/09/2006 10:59 PM

My schools never took off Columbus Day.

Is it a postal holiday?

Chestnuts roasted by jrh @ 10/09/2006 11:00 PM

I had off today. This is odd because I work at a grocery store and the only holiday I usually get off unless I beg is Christmas, the only day of the year when the store closes.

I’m really glad I did, though. As I mentioned in the last entry, today was just stunning, a perfect blue-and-gold autumn day in southern New Jersey. Any day when I discover a new Halloween store just five minutes away (even if it’s one of those generic overpriced places Matt mentioned in his article and I probably won’t get back there again) has to be counted as one of the best in a long time.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 10/09/2006 11:03 PM

i would love to be in such a giftshop we have a huge warehouse style one just a half hour away fron my house. i finally got my guy fawkes mask that i so desperatley wanted. and those BK masks are the creepiest thing ever.

Chestnuts roasted by danny @ 10/09/2006 11:06 PM

I was thinking about picking up one of those Halloween air plants the other day. I need a plant for my desk. I had to get rid of my plant-in-a-can because despite the fact that the company policy explicitly says I can have one plant, apparently that doesn’t include plants that grow 5′ in the air and need to be supported with sticks.

I wish I had off today… my entire week is now going to be the equvilent of all day math class due to a backlog of fucking account adjustments. At least it was fun to come home and finish stuffing my trick-or-treat bags since McDonald’s finally got their treat coupons in. It’s so sad that Grimace is the best dressed character on them.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 10/09/2006 11:17 PM

Sweet collection! The live animal nativity thing sounds like itd be worth going back for, too. If Santa is on the scene, make sure to ask him if he “knows where the porta potty filled with poop” is. He’ll probably get really pumped. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 10/09/2006 11:18 PM

Hey Matt,

It’s been awhile (man, working takes away from computer time). Anyway, love the articles; makes me wish I was in a less religious area that wasn’t concerned about bringing down brimstone and hellfire if they enjoy Halloween too much. On the other hand, apparently kids still actually trick or treat here.

As for your air plant, I almost bought one once, but they kept falling out of the planters (lizards, crocodiles and scorpions). They are supposed to be easy to care for–just leave them out, maybe drop some water in once in a while.

So how’re the fish?

Chestnuts roasted by Sean (the Fish one) @ 10/09/2006 11:21 PM

EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEeee!
That hit my Halloween consumer whore g-spot.

I love the Dracula in slime.
I bought some monster themed slime the other day, but it just had pictures of Godzilla and a mummies and stuff on the canisters.
Only Godzilla is labeled “King of the Lizards”. :\

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 10/09/2006 11:43 PM

The hell is up with those Pokemon Pumpkins?!?
I’m actually thinking about going to Knott’s Halloween Haunt for the very first time this year. Initially I wanted to go to Six Flags while I still had the chance before it closes FOREVA, but Knott’s is cheaper and sounds better. If anybody can chime with an opinion I’d appreciate it :) .
I can see where it’d take some of the starch out of your collar, but it’s great to actually be able to find and manhandle stuff that’s shown up in the Countdown/blog. Still haven’t found the buggy skulls though.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/10/2006 12:15 AM

I can’t help it – that miniature Dracula figurine immersed in purple goo is simultaneously the cutest and coolest Halloween item I’ve seen thus far this year. I’m guessing Wolf Man would have worked well in brown slime; although, that’s a bit of a stretch as that’s really gross. That’d likely turn out like Mad Balls, where big brother substitutes some brown slime for gravy on little sister’s meatloaf.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 10/10/2006 12:18 AM

You know I didn’t think there were anymore way to funk up booya, but you’ve proved me wrong.

Congratulations, Terror Claws.
Oh and I beat ya to the V wear by about 3 months, Danny boy

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 10/10/2006 1:00 AM

I was at the airport today and I saw this kid caring a happy meal. It was in a paper bag. No Halloween theme. WTF? What happened to the boo-pails? Has Mc D’s turned its back on the greatest holiday in the universe? I’m seriously at a loss. Really? A paper bag happy meal in October?

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 10/10/2006 1:04 AM

Tried Jones holiday soda for the first time. Berried Alive, not bad. Kind of like Kool-Aid. Hey, Matt you know those bat organs, I think I found some intestines that are part of the collection. I’ll have to go back to the store and check it out.

Chestnuts roasted by Donata05 @ 10/10/2006 1:32 AM

I had to work today as well, though they don’t give it up for MLK either. They make us work the day after Thanksgiving too :/.
Bill, McD’s has been doing a Little Mermaid/Legos Happy Meal promo. Could it be winding up soon to make way for the spooky? Have they been doing buckets in recent years?

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/10/2006 2:31 AM

Speaking of Kool-Aid, when are you gonna do another Kool-Aid review, mang? I loved those.

Chestnuts roasted by Timmy @ 10/10/2006 4:04 AM

I must say having now read it, that the shrunken head and the rat looked like a worthwhile buy.

But those horror teeth look intriuging. Yeah they’re the same you see everywhere but something about getting a sneak-peak before you review em makes me wanna go buy some. Even though i won’t use them, actually no, i’ll probally wear them on Halloween just for the sake of doing so.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 10/10/2006 6:45 AM

I had to work, also. Don’t get MLK, either. Frankly, in my city, they only indication that it was a holiday was no mail and the banks were closed. Yay.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 10/10/2006 8:26 AM

If they’re shrinking the head, WHY DOES THE HAT SHRINK TOO?

One of life’s little mysteries.

Chestnuts roasted by Spoodles @ 10/10/2006 8:56 AM

Unless they shrink it in the dryer.

Chestnuts roasted by Spoodles @ 10/10/2006 8:56 AM

Hey, I had one of those “Hairy Scaries Air Planters what-the-fuck”‘s when I was a kid (early 90′s I guess). The jack-o-lantern kind, which is odd, since back then nobody celebrated Halloween over here (Finland). Bought it (well, my mom did) at a plant shop (or what ever the hell you call them). Anyway, it’s sort of a plant but it isn’t: it’s just glued on, but if I remember correctly, you still have to spray it with water every once in a while (can’t understand why, how the hell does it live/need water when it’s just glued on to a piece of clay?) Whatever, I loved it to death.

Chestnuts roasted by ville @ 10/10/2006 9:01 AM

Alright, this place redeemed its self now. That gift shop was pretty awesome! I for one also enjoyed the gourd jokes!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 10/10/2006 9:02 AM

So the Devil has heartworm problems, eh? Must be his jackal lineage. Eventually I would *have* to perform surgery with an Exacto and remove the worm because I’m just that way.

Pokemon pumpkins. Well, like I said in a previous post, Halloween just isn’t Halloween without a Pikachu. Granted, my particular Pikachu dangles from a spider-web, a tempting tidbit for spiders twice it’s size…

The skulls with long, pink hair are excellent. They remind me of that nasty piece of work in Return of the Living Dead (1985). Just need to fashion a gory, twisting section of spine for her and you’re set. Bet she’d even help you make lots of new friends!

The rat was a good purchase. Even if it’s a fuzzy-wuzzy one with a wee pink nose and shiny whiskers you can’t escape from the fact that not more than an hour ago it was rolling in rotting garbage and used cat litter, eating it’s own tail. Rat’s are always welcome in my shopping bag.

Hairy Scaries are coffee-table, shelf, desk, counter-top…things. I sense the lady’s hand in this selection. Cute enough, but 5.99? Dayum. How many Monopoly pieces *is* that, anyway?

Chestnuts roasted by PerfectPrice @ 10/10/2006 9:06 AM

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This entry was posted on Monday, October 9th, 2006 at 10:44 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.