09/19/2006: New Halloween Candy For 2006!
Today on the Halloween Countdown, iiiiit’s candy! Six all new candies for the 2006 Halloween season,
reviewed, right here. Article includes everything from Pop Rocks to Kellogg’s Twistables, to chocolate-stuffed cardboard coffins that yelp at you. I hope your life finds new meaning by reading it.
I’ve been noticing that it’s actually getting dark by the time I get home from work now, which on one hand makes me psychosomatically believe that I’m getting less free time than I used to, but really just means that we’re autumn-bound and clam-happy. I just put myself in the mood. If I get off the computer now, there’s just enough time to plop on the couch with a laptop in my crotch and a Land of the Dead DVD inside it. The computer I mean. Not the crotch. Goodnight.
Discussion Thread: 68 comments
Land of the Dead’s ending was too optimistic for my tastes.
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Me llamo miguel @ 09/19/2006 9:36 PM EDT
I haven’t seen it yet. Haven’t heard terrific things from friends, but I adore the concept of the holed-in city.
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Matt @ 09/19/2006 9:37 PM EDT
It is an okay movie. Dario Argento’s daughter plays a hooker with a heart of gold, which probably makes it the number one zombie movie ever.
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Miguel @ 09/19/2006 9:41 PM EDT
I’ve found this year’s selection of ‘Ween candy quite disappointing.
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Somethin' Funny @ 09/19/2006 9:41 PM EDT
Hard Rock Zombies excluded, of course.
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Miguel @ 09/19/2006 9:42 PM EDT
‘Haven’t seen Land of the Dead, either. I heard it was pretty good…
I really enjoyed Land of the Dead, and I usually hate any horror movie that isn’t Italian and made in the 70’s or 80’s. Don’t see what all the griping is about.
Have you see the Count Wonkula “Bloodberry” Donutz candy yet? New this year and superrrrr sugary! Kinda gross! 
Miguel:
No shit - I am watching Hard Rock Zombies right now, for the first time. It friggin’ rules!
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gramsci @ 09/19/2006 9:52 PM EDT
Those tootsie pops are the only halloween candy I’ve gotten so far this year so far! But I agree, they are a rather strange consistency…
I know if I’d gotten tiny oreos as a kid, I’d have been happy about it. It would’ve been better than some of the stuff I’ve gotten. Some pennies, cheap carnival-style stuffed animals.. =\ Good times!
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Christine @ 09/19/2006 9:53 PM EDT
Glad you guys mentioned LAND OF THE DEAD. I forgot that I need to watch it.
(This is probably my worst post ever)
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The Manimal @ 09/19/2006 9:56 PM EDT
What?! No orange filling in the Oreos??? Don’t they know that’s the only way I’ll eat Oreos is with spooktacular orange filling?! Nabisco is such the retard this year. I’m sticking with the big bags. (I am convinced that Halloween Oreos with orange filling taste better than regular Oreos. Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon? Or is it just something having to do with the time of year inwhich I am eating them?)
I agree - orange filling = best Oreos. Gotta try the Pop Rocks, maybe with some Coke - Mikey style. I need to get out there and find some of the newer candies.
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Greg @ 09/19/2006 10:00 PM EDT
Long time reader! First… maybe second? Time poster! On my travels today, I saw this:
Just thought I’d share it.
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Sara Jane! @ 09/19/2006 10:19 PM EDT
Sorry, didn’t realize you couldn’t post pictures.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/emmanuel/hallomas.jpg
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Sara Jane! @ 09/19/2006 10:20 PM EDT
If you really want to marry candy, come to Pittsburgh where our new mayor is only 26 - he’s bound to do some crazy shit. Like the other day, I was watching the morning news and it was apparently news that he’s the first Pittsburgh mayor to have a computer in his office. Cray-ay-ay-zay!
shit yeah i am gettin the Nestle box o candy!
Its my first Halloween living on a main road where there are a ton of kids. I’m even thinkin of a halloween party this year…just some frinds, jones soda and rocky horror and some other movies (Dr giggles better get here soon dammit…i mailed the money the other day..)
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mandy_Reeves @ 09/19/2006 10:28 PM EDT
mmmmm new candy.
i bought more candy corn and flavored tootsie rolls today at target. i was really there for the icees. and hell yes i got one. i also got the new pokemon gameboy gaaaame. holy crap it’s awesome.
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brianfax. @ 09/19/2006 10:32 PM EDT
Pop Rocks wouldn’t be the same if they didn’t look stale.
Hallomas tree? Awesome, Sara Jane!
D’you think madd matt will grace us with his presence this year?
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Katherine @ 09/19/2006 11:18 PM EDT
Must…get…screaming coffin full of candy bars. I went to the Target the other day and got some Candy Corn and Berried Alive soda. I’m indifferent towards the Candy Corn. The flavor is so odd, kind of like brown sugar flavored soda. The Berried Alive soda was the balls though.
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mudogramx @ 09/19/2006 11:19 PM EDT
Sara Jane!, fuck that’s awesome. Halloween tree ahoy!
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Roadblock @ 09/19/2006 11:21 PM EDT
I just have to say this Matt: That duck pic made that article go from “great” to “nonsensically brilliant.”
I hope that Ghost With The Most will be making his grand return soon!
Oh god I want some fucking candy. God dammit motherfucking cunt licking sons of bitches.
Now I’m overly caffeinated. I’ve been sitting here for like an hour rubbing my hands all over my face and sending really inappropriate IMs. Agghhh…. I’m never going to get any work done. Shitfuck.
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Mystie @ 09/19/2006 11:47 PM EDT
I want to swear too 
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dohopoki @ 09/20/2006 12:05 AM EDT
Sorry, dohopoki, you can only make dolphin noises.
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Mystie @ 09/20/2006 12:06 AM EDT
Matt, there are more than just one bag of Halloween-themed Pop Rocks out this year… and the other one is better. It comes with a fun-dip-esque-bat-shaped-sucker that you dip into the Pop Rocks. It’s awesome. They’re called Spooky Orange.
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Matt(#2?) @ 09/20/2006 12:21 AM EDT
I agree with the oreos adding a little variety to haul. When me and my siblings were younger, we would have a cometition of sorts to see who had ammassed the the greatest collection of treats for the night. Judging was based on variety, quantity, and the amount of top tier candies you acquired acquired. Points were deducted for bank style loli pops, mary janes, pennies,charlston chews, and butter scotch suckers. Man i miss trick or treating.
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BOAT @ 09/20/2006 12:29 AM EDT
Been looking forward to this post :). Hard to believe it’s been FOUR YEARS of Halloween wonders. The mind boggles.
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squee4242 @ 09/20/2006 12:31 AM EDT
Sara Jane, that is absolutely great! I have to try something similar!
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LemonWitch @ 09/20/2006 12:32 AM EDT
Mummy Tape is just weird enough that it actually works on some level; and, of course, Pumpkin Patch Pop Rocks is a brilliant idea.
Am I the only one that thinks that the chocolate skull Tootsie Pop looks like Mankind? I couldn’t tell it was a skull at first.
HBO played LOTD a few times awhile ago, then it disappeared. I liked it. Smart zombies rule.
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JLAJRC @ 09/20/2006 12:51 AM EDT
I loved Land of the Dead also. John Leguizamo = Greatness. I have Hard Rock Zombies and haven’t watched it yet. But since everyones giving it glowing reviews, I’ll have to give it a crack.
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Mazoo @ 09/20/2006 1:02 AM EDT
Matt, I gotta ask ya, where did you find the three eyed Frankenstein sticker in the top left of the page? and why is he wearing the 3d glasses?
One last thing, the sparkly pumpkin sticker thats next to him, when I was little and in the 2nd or 3rd grade, my teacher used to give us those EXACT stickers. she even had them with the fuzzy felt type and the scratch and sniff type that smelled of gingerbread.
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Jester @ 09/20/2006 1:17 AM EDT
My computer won’t let me hear the box’s pleas.
Damn it, I’m going to have to buy one, aren’t I?
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Julie @ 09/20/2006 1:22 AM EDT
Hmm… how do I write dolphin noises into text? Wait, second greatest. The gold trophy goes to what happened next. Our friendly dolphin is appropriately thankful for the help, letting out what’s supposed to be the Standard Dolphin Noise. Can’t really put it into text, but you know what I’m talking about. I see, thanks Matt.
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dohopoki @ 09/20/2006 3:10 AM EDT
Ehhhhh eh eh eh ehhhhh!
There, dolphin noises
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jazzy @ 09/20/2006 4:54 AM EDT
I really liked land of the dead. I haven’t seen it since it was in theaters, but I appreciated the Johny Wayne Gacy zombie appearance.
If you want more zombie goodness you should check out The Walking Dead comicbook. I have the first 3 trade paper-backs and they are great.Zombielicious!
There’s such a soft spot in my heart for tootsie pops, I hope to find those ones and hand them out. When I hand out candy, I get a little too into it. I do try to be that house where you’re not gonna get anything usual. I mean all the kids say “thank you” but it’d be amazing if they got excited about it right there in front of me. Aw well.
Ooh, and I scraped ice off my car window this morning!
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kb @ 09/20/2006 9:11 AM EDT
Land of the Dead was alright but doesn’t hold a candle to Romero’s earlier offerings. If you want to check out cool retro Zombie fliks check out the Return of the Living Dead series…I also need to go find me a screamin box to put at the front door this Halloween! Thx for a great candy review Matt.
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Greg @ 09/20/2006 9:17 AM EDT
Awesome job on the countdown, I’m almost too busy to check out the site these last few weeks; but this is seriously a great stress buster when it get crazy.
Thanks
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Fox @ 09/20/2006 9:28 AM EDT
or when it GETS crazy
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Fox @ 09/20/2006 9:29 AM EDT
I cannot wait to devour candy until I turn into a pimple face and then when kids come knocking i will scare thme without a mask!
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Frederick Charles @ 09/20/2006 9:30 AM EDT
jazzy, it’s like there’s a dolphin right in the room with me. That’s talent!
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Katherine @ 09/20/2006 9:41 AM EDT
Ya know, I OWN Land of the Dead, and still haven’t watched it. I need to take a few days off and just watch horror movies to get back into the swing of things.
And the duck was fucking BRILLIANT!!!!
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Erich @ 09/20/2006 11:48 AM EDT
I guess I’m the only one who thought of Worms when I read “just you wait” Also reminded of monty python’s crazy intro with the duck.
okay my son is going to be about 1 yr and 10 months old on halloween and we don’t have many kids on the street, is it ok to take him treat or tricking since he really won’t exactly know whats going on?
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RAS @ 09/20/2006 11:59 AM EDT
TEST
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c0rp0rate z0mb1e @ 09/20/2006 12:17 PM EDT
I took my little girl trick or treating when she was 7 months old. A kid is a kid, great excuse to go out on Halloween. We did dressed her up as a ladybug, however, so I guess others might say I wimped out. I saw images in my mind of someone calling the department of children’s services on me if I carried around a 7 month old zombie with entrails and such.
Oh, by the way, my Wal-mart actually scaled down it’s Halloween presence this year. Bastards….
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freudguy @ 09/20/2006 12:21 PM EDT
I don’t know about that. The Wal-Mart in my area seems fairly elaborate, but on the other hand, it seems to be the only really big department store in the area, too.
I’ve actually found better Halloween stuff at the grocery store where I work, and they have a tiny seasonal section! Among other items, the big Halloween Oreos have returned for another year (complete with bright orange middles), and they have paper pumpkin cut-outs, which are impossible to find. I hate the window cling-things. They never want to stick to the windows, and they don’t last as long as the heavier paper versions. They also have Halloween baking items - pumpkin-colored sprinkles, vampire cake-toppers, cookie cutters in the shape of ghosts and black cats. As baking is a hobby of mine, I appreciate that. Brings out the fun in the season, and I might acutally have the chance (and the reason) to use those cookie-cutters this year.
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starwenn @ 09/20/2006 12:34 PM EDT
I bought a inflateable skeleton-in-a-coffin on clearance last year, and that’s going to go great with the Grave Bandit box.
By all means, as soon as you feel comfortable about it, take the kids out to Trick or Treat. Let them see it’s always going to be fun for you and them. But my perspective is from the fact that my birthday is Nov 1st. Time to do the Garfield “candy candy CANDY!” dance.
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kingklash @ 09/20/2006 12:48 PM EDT
Oh Man, I love my Job!!! This morning I was about and hour and a half late to work, I’m supposed to be here at 10, but because TN. is still the redneck backwoods of America, apparently they are still getting a grasp on this whole newfangled “Electricity” thing. Seriously, the power has went out about 15 times since monday, and we’ve had super nice weather for the last week and a half. Anyway, because of the stupidity of the NES (Nashville Electric Service) My alarm didn’t go off, so I role into work around 11:30ish, and of course the first person I see is my boss. Who looks at me and states “Wow, Your here early.”
So what is the point of me telling you this? Well check this out, because I’ve been getting to work early for apparently the last few months, (Seriously my hours are 10 to 6 and he thought I wasn’t supposed to be here until noon) HE GAVE ME A RAISE!!!!
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Jester @ 09/20/2006 12:53 PM EDT
Jester, thats good to hear. I love my job too.
But what about halloween?
and to everyone, I have ruled out the exorcist as being scary cuz its not. Shining is scary as well… but
The scariest movie ever is either the first halloween the first time you watched it, or the first nightmare on elm st the first time youw atched. Which do you all think is scarier?
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Frederick Charles @ 09/20/2006 1:12 PM EDT
Jester, that’s the best job story I’ve ever heard. Now you can spend that extra money at Wal-Mart and witness more frightened children.
Frederick: I’ll go with Halloween. I love Elm Street as much as the nexy guy, I own the whole set, but Halloween has a more distinct horror vibe. Though Elm Street has that great “ceiling dragging” scene going for it. Still, I vote Halloween, it doesn’t go for as much humor, the score is top notch, and Myers is extra creepy with the white mask and “silent stalker” routine.
If I may throw a movie into the “scariest” ring, let me say Pet Semetary. I’ve been desensitized to horror flicks since I was little, but there is one thing that still sends a shiver up my spine: Zelda. Anyone who has seen the movie knows what I’m talking about.
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Rob @ 09/20/2006 1:28 PM EDT
Julie, do you have Quicktime player set up to play mov files by default?
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Jeff @ 09/20/2006 1:41 PM EDT
I saw “It’s a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” fruit snacks at the store today. I didn’t buy any because it was $5 a box (although it was big). There seemed to be cutouts on the back.
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JLAJRC @ 09/20/2006 3:28 PM EDT
From whence does one get a screamy box of Nestle candy? I’ve not seen one of those at any of the local drug stores.
I have a project going to recreate a bag of Halloween candy (I miss getting Halloween candy, but even for one who trick or treated till 18 I think I am now kind of old for obtaining it by the usual method) and that looks like a good thing to get to fill out a few of the requirements. I so far have some cheap, nasty little chocolates, Caramel Apple Pops, Peanut Butter Cups, and some mini Milky Ways. So you can see I have a ways to go.
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Talia @ 09/20/2006 3:54 PM EDT
Yeah that whole MOV file thing sucks. I do not have quicktime on my computer here at work, and it would take far too much time to download at home. Dial up connection blows goats. My employer needs to relax with the whole “no download” policy, so I can actually see these videos.
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Old E @ 09/20/2006 3:55 PM EDT
I tried the nostalgic “recreate a bag of Halloween candy” thing last year, but since I grew up in a cheap neighborhood, it didn’t turn out that great. First I grabbed the least-liked items from the Brach’s Pick and Mix at the local grocery store (some of those weird coconut neapolitan things, a handful of the stale toffees with the flavors in the middle, a bunch of Tootsie Rolls, all the super-inexpensive crap), then I went to K-Mart for some of those nasty Mary Janes and the peanut-butter lumps in the orange and black wrappers, and to complete the package, I topped it off with Chicklet gum, an assortment of fun-size candy bars, some Dum-Dums and Safety-Pops, and a scattering of pennies for realism. (Elderly people mean well, but they give out the worst Halloween treats ever.)
My inevitable discovery was that nostalgia feels a lot better than it tastes. Luckily I did this in mid-October, so I was able to give the Trick or Treaters all the candy I didn’t want, which was most of it. I even gave away the pennies, ensuring that when the local kids grow up, their childhood memories will be just as lame as mine.
This year I’m embracing the fact that I’m an adult with a paycheck, and when I hit the stores to build my personal Halloween candy stash, I’m only getting the good stuff. Lindor Truffles, Dove chocolates, fresh-baked cookies, that sort of thing. Plus a big bag of Jolly Ranchers. That’s one thing from childhood I still love today as much as I did then. (And I still despise the way they slice up your tongue as much as I did then. So our love is a dysfunctional and bitter one, but what adult relationship isn’t?)
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SJ @ 09/20/2006 4:39 PM EDT
Everything on this article is sweet. I hated getting tootsie roll pops for halloween I always felt they were cheap and if your at the bank (or a place you stop off to pay a bill) then you get one of those but not any other time. I actually was excited to get pennies because I heard of how horrible they were so I felt like I fit in with everyone else, because everyone got them at one time or another except me. I was a nerd in school I barely had any friends and anything that I felt was “normal” i clung onto. I know, sad.
Hey Jester right on buddy!! but didn’t you leave early too? I mean if your shift you thought was 10 to 6, then what was your shift “supposed” to be if you were supposed to show up at noon? Weren’t you leaving early?? I’m not saying you didn’t deserve a pat on the back for showing up early I am just saying you were putting in 8 hours in a different time slot right? And your right I talk to people from the south all the time at my job (call center) I live up here in Oregon, and some of those people are so fuckin stupid!! I just roll my eyes and explain in terms that a 6 year old would understand and pray for the best.
“may I process this transaction?”
“what”
“may I continue with the charges?”
“what, I am not following what you are sayin”
“May I charge your CARD with this MONEY”
“oh! Ok I guess so..”
“augh, one moment…”
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Goob @ 09/20/2006 8:17 PM EDT
I definitely know what you mean GOOB. Here are some of my favorite stupid things customers have said to me
1) ” I was havin trouble comin through your ANIMATED system” I love this one cause it make me think of Mickey Mouse fucking with people.
2) “The AMT machine SWALLOWED my bank card”. This is awesome because not only can these morons not get a three letter acronym right, but they are also comparing the damn machine to a living entity that needs to feed on bank cards.
3) ” I MICROWAVED my bank card. It is just a little WAVY. Do you think it will work?” This one takes care of itself people.
4) ” I dunno how to get to a real person. I always ebd up just having to MASH THE DANG BUTTONS.” These people not only speak as if they were inbred, but also have absolutely no patience (as indicated by the fact that they cant sit through to the 3rd option which is for the operator).
5) “I put my money into the deposit slot and it didnt register” Now this one isn’t funny until I tell you that they actually stuck COLD HARD CASH into the deposit slot. No envelope. Just a wad of bills one by one. 20 or so separate transactions that we get to sort through to fix the fact that they are fucking retards and cant grab the god damn envelope that is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO the deposit slot.
6) “What is the balance on my CHECK-INS account?” I am not kidding, NUMEROUS people screw up the word CHECKING on a daily basis.
7) “I don’t understand how I UNDERDREW my checking account.” A way to say OVERDRAW without actually using any of the right WORDS. Brilliant.
The last one is just a generalization of all of the above. It seems that when a stupid customer is trying to SOUND SMART, they will use really big words that they may have heard in passing, or on Jeopardy the night before. When these word get used all out of context it can be HILARIOUS. I wish I had an example for you, but am sure EVERYONE has run into this at least once.
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Old E @ 09/20/2006 9:07 PM EDT
Wow, those halloween pop rocks look like the remains at the bottom of a box of Froot Loops.
About the best real themed candy I’ve ever seen are chocolate beetles filled with sour green goo. Everything else is usually the same old tiny chocolate bars and bags of chips, with the occasional hard candy and caramels. And I totally don’t understand why some people hate houses that give out pencils and such with their gear. Pencils with ghosts on them are cool.
“Ehhhhh eh eh eh ehhhhh!
There, dolphin noises”
Only if they’re Canadian dolphins.
I’m kidding! Don’t be mad, Canada, I love you and I want to have your babies.
“If you really want to marry candy, come to Pittsburgh where our new mayor is only 26″
What the eff? I’m 27 and all I managed to do today was mow the lawn and look at internet porn. But if you really wanted to marry candy the best choice would obviously be a Sugar Daddy. AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE?!? Kill me.
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Welsh Rabbit @ 09/20/2006 10:33 PM EDT
ZELDA!! ahhhhhhh that movie terrorized me when i was little! RACHEL!!! i wish i could say it like she did!
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Katella @ 09/20/2006 10:35 PM EDT
The thought of dolphins in other countries churning out accented dolphin noises makes Welsh Rabbit’s comment #1.
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Matt @ 09/20/2006 10:39 PM EDT
For those of you that have absolutely no clue why I made the remark about dolphin noises….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6DkmLsJiGw
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Mystie @ 09/20/2006 11:01 PM EDT
Matt, you fabulous bastard, you made my day.
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Welsh Rabbit @ 09/21/2006 1:07 AM EDT
Spooktacular! That’s my new favourite word!
Stupid customers:
1. I’m looking for a cd/book/DVD. [pause]
- I see [pause]. Do you know what it’s called? By any chance?
- [pause] Er… No?
- Whose is it?
- That guy… I know who he is… I saw him on tv yesterday…
UUrrrrrgh!!! I can’t help you! You’re too stupid!
2. I want to buy something for my friend.
- [Pause] I see. What would you like to buy?
- I don’t know. What do you think I should buy?
Fantasy answer to stupid question: I think you should go home and think about how stupid you are! And come back when you don’t need to be babysat in a shop! How should I know what your friend likes!??!
And then there are the Closet Grand Poohbahs. “Play this for me! Can you wrap it? No, don’t you have another colour? Can I borrow your pen? Can I borrow a blue pen? Can I get a packet for this? Can you play another cd? Where are your greetings cards? Right behind me? Oh. Do you have birthday ones? Oh, right there, okay. How much is this one? It’s on the back? Oh. How much is that one? It’s on the back. How much is this other one? Oh, it’s also on the back…” Aargh!!! :~
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arete @ 09/21/2006 9:26 AM EDT
On fark, you are smack dab in the middle of I-mockerys 2006 hallo candy review, and a “photoshop this tropical ruin”
http://www.fredmiranda.com/hos...-data//4532/38805tulum1jpg.jpg
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M.V.Peebles @ 09/21/2006 10:34 AM EDT
Awesome coverage, as usual. I love the SweeTart bones, myself.
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cybele @ 09/21/2006 12:07 PM EDT
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