X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

09/12/2006: Rude Ralph Dances With The Stars!

There were some toys I grew up with that just felt Halloweeny even if they technically weren’t so, and you’ll be seeing a few of them on this year’s Countdown. Oh, look, there’s one of them now! Rude Ralph joins the party, bringing lots of orange hair and the ability to make burping sounds. The doll meant a lot to me as a kid, I guess because it had orange hair and the ability to make burping sounds.

I haven’t been sleeping enough. I’m not really having trouble sleeping so much as I’m just consistently going to sleep way too late. That makes the mornings tough. When I get off the bus and take the short subway ride into Times Square, I get off the train so groggy and generally incoherent that, on average, I bump into five total strangers who hiss at me as a general response. Today, head held down and eyes red as blood, I stumbled down the usual paths only to find myself in the midst of well-dressed women and three dozen shiny dancing stars.

(click here to watch them go!!!!)
The people behind Dancing With The Stars were promoting the hell out of their show today, having hired a seeming army of otherwise normal people to dress in these ridiculous star-shaped gold costumes and prance around the streets. They were out there for hours, and they were everywhere. When I went back out for lunch around 1, they were in the streets, on top of signs, in stores — MADNESS I tells ya. I’ve seen plenty of ludicrous promotional displays since beginning an office job in Times Square, but three dozen men and women dressed as Super Mario invincibility power-ups might take the cake.

Going back to the Rude Ralph topic for a moment, I found a new plaything that follows suit with Ralph’s ability to be kind of Halloweeny and kind of like a ball.

It’s the Halloween “playground ball,” known in most circles as a “kickball.” So orange and bouncy. There are a few different styles available, but nothing as natural as this here jack o’ lantern, who will smile no matter how much you beat the shit out of him. Barring needlepoint, his resolve is unbreakable. Having this makes me wish I was physically active enough to get my leg four inches off the ground without whining that it hurts.

These kickballs are awesome, I really liked the skeleton one but a jack-o-lantern is always good too. Target is like a goldmine this year.

Also, am I the only person that hasn’t caught on to this whole “Dancing With the Stars” craze?

I’ve seen some pretty interesting stuff at the grocery store, of all places, which fills me with joy to no end. The Halloween section in the grocery store I worked in last year sucked - and the one in this store is smaller! I guess it goes to show that quanity doesn’t always add up to quality.

Anyway, I saw a “spirit ball,” or something like that, at the grocery store (and a less elaborate version at Wal-Mart). At least according to the front of the box, it’s a medium out of a weird old B movie in a plastic globe, with blinking eyes and everything. I also saw “candy corn lights” (basic Christmas lights colored orange and yellow) I may end up buying.

One of these days I’m going to make another trip into Philadelphia (and not just Chinatown this time), just so I can see weird shit like what Matt sees every day. The only stars I see at or around work are the ones in the sky and star-shaped chicken nuggets in the back of the store.

I’ve been through two computers since then, but somehow I still have the video from that Boglins article saved. It’s one of my favorite things.

Rosella (aka Joey): I feel with you on both parts of your comment. I only have a Walmart with a one lane seasonal department in my area. I’m not talking about a full sized lane, I am talking about one of the dwarf sized lanes stuck in the back of the store like a dirty secret lanes. Halloween toys and the like are limited to a local costume shop for me. Dancing With the Stars or similar shows just never interested me. I tried watching an episode once and was bored to tears halfway through. I never have been a person for the popular, “hip” shows.

The “Super” WalMart down the street has the WORST Halloween selection I’ve ever seen. Totally disappointing. Target’s candy section is more impressive. Today Tar-J was putting up the store decor around the future Halloweenie decoration section.
Conclusion: I spend too much time @ Target.

All this Halloweeny goodness is making me a little sad that in between university and laziness, I can’t get out to the sotres and fully take in their spooky surroundings. I only have enough time to stand at the checkout, looking hopelessly for packs of halloween-themed gum..sigh…

I did put a little jack-o-lantern sticker on my debit card, though. People stare.

I feel for ya, Matt, on the whole sleep thing. Tomorrow I have to be at work at 6am and will have to get up at 4:30, so I will get 5 hours IF I go NOW. Heh… not gonna happen. I just got home from work 2 hours ago.

Fuckin’ sucks. But yeah, night owls that have morning jobs get shit on.

Has anyone checked out the dreary depressing K-Mart this year? Last time I was out, it looked promising. They only had a few decorations and stuff, but it looked pretty good - even the costumes didn’t look sucky. I can’t wait to go back and see it in it’s full glory.

My TRU has very few and only semi-cool Halloween things this year. I think it’s better than last, but I haven’t seen anything that really strikes me.

It’s sad…

I’ve never seen DWTS, and don’t ever plan to. I, too, cannot get into all those “hip” shows.

Our Target is moving to a new store, so the current location has absolutely no Halloween stuff (oh, I take that back, they have the Jones and Halloween-themed flashlights… that is literally IT). But the new store (a SUPER Target!!) is opening at the beginning of October, so I’m stoked to see what kind of display they’ll throw in at the last second. And, yes, I said stoked.

I had Rude Ralph. Well at least my older brother did.He won him at the Cuyahoga County Fair, in some kind of carney contest.Due to my obsession with Mad Balls I automaticaly thought he was the “King of Mad Balls”(I didn’t understand trademarks).One day I overzealously pulled the eye and ripped it off the string, and watched in horror as the string slowly retracted back into the putrid skull.I tried to grab it in hopes of reattaching it somehow, but alas poor coordination.It was like dropping a diamond ring down a drain.My brother kicked my ass.I deserved it.My dad did manage to get the string out of the ear hole though.He couldn’t attach it to the eyeball , but a rubber lizard worked.Thanks dad.

After reading so much about the wonderful finds at Target in this blog I cannot pray enough that they will expand into Canada someday.

I’m another one who doesn’t get into trendy shows. I watch total nerd informative type shows, like medical shows and whatnot. And I don’t mean medical as in Grey’s Anatomy. I mean medical as in like, Dr. G Medical Examiner. I like the Science Channel too.

Sadly I get left out of a good many conversations because somehow all my friends manage to watch TV 24/7 because they keep up with like every single show that’s on (except, of course, for the ones I watch). I don’t get how, but they do.

Bottom line is my Target had better have the Jones CANS in tomorrow. Otherwise, I will be forced to hit Target: Greatland. While I don’t particularly mind doing that–I, in fact, prefer it–it’s worth saying just to make my Target feel bad. I’ve already got the tasting order planned, I just need the guests of honor. Grrrrrr.

I think my favorite part about Rude Ralph is the cardboard box he came in. The “Ralph” is in neon hot pink graffiti script, an elegance lacking in todays tagging culture.

hey everyone!
Well i hope this doesnt make me less cool, but i do in fact like some popular shows…like grey’s anatomy….sorry! As for dancing with the stars…no.
Anyways back to halloween, i bought this plastic cupcake shaped container at wal-mart yesterday, it has like black frosting and orange pumpkin shaped sprinkles or something…plastic halloween cupcakes…hahah im sorry i thought that was so random i loved it.

I haven’t gotten into that Dancing With The Stars thing yet but my parents sure have. My mom called me twice this evening to tell me how Jerry Springer was dancing. My family is odd.

I still haven’t hit Target yet but I ventured over to Party City and got myself a cow costume. Why I have the overwhelming desire to be a cow I couldn’t tell ya. I also picked up some kickass plates and cups with eyeballs on them for my Halloween party though. The selection there at Party City is not that great if you’re looking for candy, party stuff or Jones Soda, but the costume variety is pretty neat. Seriously I’m hitting myself in the head for not going to Target, which is located across the freakin street from Party City. I could have gone, but NOOOO. My little sister just had didn’t have time and had to go to work. Hmmph.

If kickball is too active,you could always try four square. It’s definately my favorite sport,the challenge rounds especially are awesome.

And the Super Mario comment in the article reminded me to plug Mario Hoops 3 on 3 for DS. I know you’re all probably just buying Lego Star Wars if you’re getting a game this week,but if it’s sold out/you don’t want it/you want two games,and you have a DS,definately go with Mario Hoops. I don’t watch basketball at all,and haven’t since I was 10,and I like Mario,but I’m not one of those people that buys EVERY Mario spinoff.
This one is excellent though. I know there’s a lot of Final Fantasy fans that post here,and they should know that according to the package/reviews you can unlock Final Fantasy characters such as that little Orko guy. I haven’t seen any of them myself,but I’m not really far into the game yet.

Never heard of or seen Rude Ralph before. It’s possible he never reached the South or had any impact if he did (the kid on the box is wearing a hockey T-shirt which leads me to believe Ralph may have been a Northerner). Ralph looks like a toy I would have wanted but ultimately been scared/grossed out by.
I have never watched DANCING WITH THE STARS nor could I ever imagine doing such a thing.
Strangely, I too thought that it was the KKK in the picture at first (!).
WAL-MART is putting out the same crap as last year. TARGET, the offical supplier of X-E’s Halloween Countdown, has some cool NEW stuff in this year.

The only reality show I ever got into was the celebrity versions of “The Mole.” That was fun.

For some reasons, Rude Ralph reminds me of the short-lived WCW Grossout Wrestling figures. They were basically mutated versions of their wrestlers, only they had action features like burping and stuff. Speaking of WCW, I hope Halloween Havoc shows up this year. Especially the “Chamber of Horror” match. That has to be seen to be believed.

I went to Target the other day, while they had aisle after aisle of candy, they had NO Jones Soda. Grr.

Manimal- Rude Ralph did make it down south,you just never noticed him since he fit in so well!

JLAJRC- Chamber of Horrors was the best wrestling match of all time. a five star classic.

People who care- The Final Fantasy characters who appear in Mario Hoops are Black Mage,White Mage,and Ninja.

A Great Big Thanks to all who assisted this Canucklehead (Good One!) in his search for Jones Soda. (See Last Blog Entry) I will check out the local teenie bopper clothing stores this weekend!

I went to Target (again!)last night, and I picked up the skeleton in goo, some autum mix, candles shaped like Dracula (I don’t care about candles one way or another, but I LOVE Dracula!) and some really cool but unrelated asian-inspired tea cups. Also the 4 pack of Candy Corn soda… I am chilling it thoroughly before drinking… right… and not stalling at all due to the face the Target Employee stocking shelves of candy made when I picked it up.

Being busy at work has kept me from reading all the articles and associated posts in their entirety…very sad.

Last night, upon returning to my home I stepped out of my car into the cool, sub-70 degree overcast weather…the smell…the flavor… of fall was definitely in the air.

This…this is exciting. I immediately went down to the basement and pulled out the tote of Hallowe’en decorations. I started placing the various Halloweeny items about the living room, then pondered how much I wanted to do with outside decorations. I decided I didn’t want to put too much time into it last night, so I settled for replacing the lightbulbs on either side of my garage with those fun, flickery bulbs that look like candles.

The Wal-Mart here is still in “back to school” mode, so there are TONS of aisles dedicated to pens and binders, but no Halloween stuff yet. I wish they would get on the ball already!

My Target was also can-less on the Jones front, they’d better be there next time I go.
Craft stores are already decorating for Christmas, should anyone already be tired of Halloween…

DWTS does not sound like an appealing show to me, but then again I am not a fan of reality television to begin with. Also, I couldn’t help but notice that although they claim the celebrities on the show are “stars,” there’s only two relatively decent celebs on the show (Emmitt Smith and Vivica A. Foxx). Look at all those other scrubs they have! (although I would watch if Jon Stewart was a guest judge just so he could tear up Tucker Carlson some more

)

I’ve been looking forward to the countdown for weeks, now I’m so busy I have barely even checked it out.

Hey guys, so this is totally off topic, but seeing as how NOBODY i know is awake to hear my exciting news, you guys get to be the ones I brag too.

So I work for an movie company (it’s one of the top 3) and my boss just came running into my office, telling me i need to go home and get changed because im working a press junket all day. Basically that means there putting me “on talent” so ive got to follow around a celeb all day while they do interview after interview.

Who’s my celeb? Brad Pitt! How awesome is that? It’s for his new movie Babble! And I get to spend an hour lunch with just him and I. Being a guy, I’m not exactly in love with the guy, but I do enjoy his acting.

My story doesnt end here! It gets better!!! So as a “thank you” for dropping everything I was doing to rush over and do this (I should be thanking them I think) the studio has given me an invite to tonight’s Entertainment Tonight Canada 1 year anniversary party. All the celebs from the Toronto Film Fest will be there!

Wow, and to think, my evening basically involved me hitting the gym and watching some old episodes of Salute Your Shorts!

Hey Matt where did you eventually find your “replacement” Rude Ralph? Must have been a tough find if that is not your original. And it still has original packaging. Nice find. My family owned a shorehouse in Wildwood for 11 years so I love it when you mention WW(especially the haunted house article).***Just in case you didn’t know Mad Balls are making a come back and will be reproduced. They were supposed to hit shelves in Sept. so keep your eyes peeled.

Those dancing star people are hilarious…I hope they got some good pay for that! Only in NYC…
what was with all the dressed up women in the background? I think I would have rather been a dancing star, with this chilly morning weather we are starting to get, I think the star costume would provide a bit more comfort than a skimpy dress.

KJ: He found it at Target. I sent the suggestion to Matt a couple of days ago thinking it fit with the spirit of things. Glad he picked up on it. At 4 bucks its hard to beat.

Those kickballs look cool. The only thing my family has done for Halloween is buy one bag of those pumpkin candies (the kind that taste like candy corn, but are pumpkin-shaped). I can’t eat many of those without getting ill, sadly enough.

I was in the middle of posting, when one of my vendors UNPLUGGED MY LAPTOP!
In short
Never seen this toy.
I got this ball for my son’s upcoming birthday.
Joey “whoa” Lawarence and AC Slater are on dancing with the stars, so though I have never watched it before, I might tune in this time, if nothing better is on.

jazzy — Nothing wrong with a little Dr. G. I’d rather watch that than CSI anyday. Give me The Forensic Files over Cold Case and I’m a happy camper. I hate most of those shows — everything happens way too fast and is always tied up with a nice little bow by the 58th minute. Bleck. As for Dancing with the Stars, I’ll pass. But Goddamn! my mother loves it. Then again, she watches any crappy reality show that comes on. No lie, I think she was like one of three people who watched Chains of Love.

Kneg — Useless trivia for you. The difference between Target and Target: Greatland is the owner. Target: Greatland is owned by the corporate parent compay. Just plain Target is a franchise that is sold out to developers. Does it really make a difference? Prolly not. But I have a ton of useless corporate trivia floating around in my head from working for a law firm bent on world domination for two and a half years. I also know what all the “alphabet soup” bank initials stand for.

Muppet Baby — Apparently Wal*Mart is releasing their “seasonal” sections later this year in response to complaints of Halloween being out before Labor Day and Christmas being out before Halloween. It seems to hold true, as I spend a good many weekend hours scouring various area Wal*Marts for cheap housewares and I have yet to see a full fledged Halloween Seasonal Section bloom.

Nickelodeon — Sounds like fun. I’m sure you’ll have a great time with all the media folk in town for the film fest. Grab Brad’s ass for me and I’ll Fedex you some Jones Soda. I want photographic proof — has to be definitive Brad Pitt ass you’re grabbing, not one of your buddies’ asses. Seriously. I send you all four canned varieties and all three bottled.

Matt — It’s the change in the weather that’s screwing with the sleep and thus the commute. Trust me. Going through the same thing. That alarm clock seems to be going off earlier and earlier. But it’s all good, everyone coming out of the PA or Penn Station is a zombie anyway.

Nickelodeon: I gotta say I am a bit on the jealous side. I would LOVE to spend the day with Brad Pitt and get paid foro it? woow…. dream job.

Celebrity Mole! How I miss thee. Sometimes I watch Psych, and whenever Corbin Bernsen shows up I just laugh and laugh, remembering his Mole performances.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but having a DVR really helps me keep up on a lot more shows than I used to watch. I don’t watch Dancing w/ the Stars, but somehow I got sucked into Celebrity Duets. Looking at the stuff I’ve got set to record, it appears I split my time between trashy fun (Flavor of Love, Cheaters, Girls Next Door, Breaking Up with Shannon Doherty) and more informative stuff (How It’s Made, Mythbusters, Signe Chanel). It also reminds me to tell you guys that TCM is airing Freaks on Saturday morning. Really looking forward to seeing it for the first time, though Matt’s review covers it all pretty well.
My Target had the full selection of Jones, but I can’t pick any up until Friday *Chuckie face*

I was watching The View today and they said that this year is the 10th anniversary of Tickle Me Elmo (has it really been that long? Yeesh). To celebrate this, they’re releasing a new Tickle Me Elmo. The View is gonna unveil it Sept 19, but before they do, they’re gonna auction it off on Ebay for charity. Bidding starts at $50.

I remember when those Tickle Me Elmos were all the rage. Well, the local news did an auction on one of them a week before Christmas and the winning bid was $500. The funny thing is, just like those sodas, you could easily find Elmo anywhere a week later for about $10.

Our WallyWorld got all ‘Ween’d out this week. I’m not going to judge the selection right now. I’ll wait and give it time to ripen a bit. They do have a nice selection of light-up Jack O’Lanterns in the shapes of basketballs, footballs, baseballs, and soccerballs. And, they all have pumpkin stems on top.

Next, on Dancing With The X-E Stars, Squee and Hulk Pinata get down and boogie to the dulcet strains of “The Curly Shuffle.” Hey, Moe!

If it’s the 10th anniversary of Tickle Me Elmo, that means it’s also the 10th anniversary of Nintendo 64! That’s what MY family was going crazy trying to buy that year. I remember my mom had gotten on a waiting list at Walmart for an N64 (I wanted one for Christmas) and when they called to tell her they were in stock, she was so determined to get it that she pulled me out of school early that day so we could drive to Walmart and get my new N64.

Speaking of monsterous toys from the eighties, Do you remember those monster toys that smelled were suposed to smell horrible?

I remeber having an orange monster named “Out house” that smelled like a pile of shit! I dont remember what the line of toys was called though.

Nickelodeon: Rock rock on, man. That is at least seven distinct shades of awesome. A word of warning, though: don’t look Brad Pitt directly in the eyes. He’ll take it as a challenge, and if you do not immediately roll over and expose your soft underbelly in a show of submission, he will tear out your throat with his teeth.

Matt
I for one cannot friggin wait to see Chris Jericho pretend he can sing on Celebrity Duets. But what is up with Dancing with the Stars II? Aside from Stacy Kiebler, there was absolutely no reason to watch the first one. Unless they get another absolute smokin hottie in evening gowns on there this year, they are gonna need more that 36 morons dressed as crumples Chritsmas Tree ornaments to get it off the ground.

The B-Pitt Update
So things are going really well! He’s actually a really nice and quiet guy. He’s doing some big interview with MTV and their various affiliate countries right now, so I’ve got some time off. I told him about the Jones Soda thing,he laughed, he said no picture, but he said last year he had Turkey Soda and hated it. So I guess I wont be getting free soda HOWEVER at least we know Brad drinks the stuff!

On a related note, you guys have to see these swank invitations for the party tonight! I’ll take some pics and post up something later this week.

Bandit: I’m not entirely sure if this is what you’re thinking of, but I just read something on Review the World that is very similar. Here’s a link to the review.

Spoodles. I think those were newer type toys. These toys were little monsters that came in a box kind of like the boglins, and they all smelled like gross stuff, I remeber one smelled like vomit, one smelled like rotten fish.

Nickelodeon, ask brad what his fight club routine workout was?? Thats a big topic on the net, there is like three diffrent workout routines all sudgesting diffrent things.

Old E, I’m pretty damn sure Chris Jericho was knocked out in the first episode…which I saw the end of and it was the only one I’ve seen.

And I’m going to The Who concert at Jones Beach tonight! I’ll tell y’all how awesome it was later.

OLD E: They already had the first episode of Celebrity Duets and Chris Jericho was the first one voted off. I didn’t watch it though.

Nickelodeon, even though Brad Pitt broke the heart of Jennifer Aniston, who is just about perfect, he still seems like an okay guy. And not a bad way to spend a Wednesday!

Yup, Jericho has already been booted from Celebrity Duets. He was pretty terrible. Not sure who got the boot next, because my recording cut off at the very end, but I’m assuming it was Cheech, not least because Lea Thompson’s got way better gams.
Brad Pitt drinking Turkey Soda. Not a mental imagine I’d ever thought I’d conjur, but awesome nonetheless. Congrats on the great assignment, Nickelodeon!

Matt, have you seen this Grab-it crane game yet? I haven’t been to up to date around here and I don’t know how old this thing is to be honest, but I saw it in the Sears wish book I just got today. Their’s toys and candy that you have to buy seperately at outrageous prices but I think that’s because they know most people are going to put in their own stuff.

I went to Target today rather than crawling along in Pittsburgh’s rush hour traffic, and I was able to buy the cans of soda, finally. Also picked up two $2 gargoyles - it’s Halloweeny tonight. Too bad Target’s clothes never fit me.

I had totally forgotten Raplh — but, I acutally used to have one of those wretched things! I’d carry him around by his hair all the time, too.

Well, Jesus, that made it about 1000x more rediculous seeing them in action! The one star guy looks like he’s slapping his own ass before he gets to go a-dancing with his woman.

Rude Ralph is _vaguely_ familiar from years past as my brain is loaded with various 80’s crap I have a hard time remembering it all. @_@ I remember a guy I bought some Boglins from off of eBay recently was selling a Rude Ralph with his packaging; I wonder if the one you have Matt is the same one. O_o

Do you remember “Rascals”? There was like, 4 of them & they were sort’ve like stuffed animals/creatures that you’d squeeze. When you squeezed ‘em they’re tongues would flap around & make a “razz” sound, also like a fart. There were 3 “male” Rascals & one “female” Rascal. I know my friend Alison had the girl one & I had 2 of the male ones; my sister had the green one (Thunder I think his name was) that I’d always wanted. >_

I still have my orrigional rude ralph. He still works. Still has his eye. Don’t know how he made it. He was always a head on a dummy on the porch for halloween. Yeah rude ralph.

I still have my Rude Ralph!!! I just went up in the attic and my 2 year old son grabbed him off the shelf. He is still burping and pooping with the best of them.

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