I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a pretty horrific commute into and back from work each day. The home trip can be especially nauseating — a bus ride of over two hours is not uncommon. It’s not so bad anymore, thanks to that video iPod I purchased and blogged about a few months back. Now I spend that ride either sleeping or catching up on old seasons of 24. Either way, I’m happy. It’s to the point where those bus rides are just about the best part of the day. Nobody can find me, and I can’t work on a bus. I’ve no choice but to either do nothing or watch Alberta Green give Nina the business. I don’t know why I’m talking about this; I’m actually here to tell you about toy bloodworms.
What a great Halloween season so far, materially speaking. I’m just completely awed by how much cool stuff I’ve already found, remembering how hard it seemed to fill up the well for Halloween Countdowns in previous years. This season, it’s to the point where I have to be really selective — combined with all the crap I’ve picked up for retro reviews, there’s more than enough new stuff around for this year’s Countdown. I justify my larger purchases by writing about them, but a lot of the cool little things I pick up go, uh, untributed. I’ll try to give ‘em summadat respect here on the blog, beginning with this recent pickup: Halloween “Blood Worms” party favors.
Over the course of some long ago summer, I was a fisherman. Not really, but all of the neighborhood kids had taken to going to a local body of aqua to hone their skills. I joined in, because it was easier to fake fishing than to fake football. We caught all kinds of fish, the weirdest being some kind of puffer that none of us could believe actually swam in our local, dirty water. I enjoyed the actual fishing part, but when it came to chopping bait, or worse, getting a caught fish off the hook, I was my usual sissy self. In truth, I was just in it for the tackle. I loved tackle.
Like all the great pseudofisherman, my tackle box looked like it belonged to someone who could whistle in a whale shark. I had everything — the sinkers, the bioluminescent lures, those other lures with the rubber band tails, and of course, wonderful bobbers that reminded me so much of Christmas ornaments. Throughout the course of that summer, I became a much bigger expert on tackle than on fishing, and within that, grew an immense appreciation for rubber worms. I think that’s why I like these party favor bloodworms so much. I don’t think I could keep a straight face in some crusty old dude’s tackle shop knowing that I was only buying his rubber worms because I liked the way they felt on my fingers.
The toy blood worms are sticky, but not insanely sticky — just the right amount of stickiness to where you feel like you’re playing with a “sticky toy,” but don’t necessarily have to worry about every iota of dust and cat hair on the planet ruining your fine quality items.
Real blood worms — or “bloodworms” — have a bit more going for them visually than these do, but only under a microscope. They’re actually tiny bug larva, sold in cups at pet stores as food for happy fish. Those bloodworms look more like wet globs of crimson thread, and probably wouldn’t translate as well to “sticky toy” form.
Then again, these toys are more correctly shaped like earthworms. Maybe the party favor company only intended the “blood” in the title to indicate the worms’ color and association with the Halloween season. Maybe I’ll call ‘em tomorrow and ask.
I don’t know why I’m writing about this. I hate worms. 
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I’m back from Ireland, did you miss me? Didn’t think so.
Has anyone seen the 2006 edition of Halloween Jones soda? They were putting the tiny cans on the shelves of my local Target yesterday, but the Jones website doesn’t have any info more recent than Valentine’s Day, suck. I wasn’t going to buy any so early, but from memory the flavors this year are: Spider Cider, Gruesome Grape, and Candy Corn. I feel like there should be a fourth, but Target didn’t have one. Yet!