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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Rubber Monster Puppet Guys From Hell.

It felt really weird not posting on Friday after doing it everyday for a month, which probably explains why I'm posting this at three in the morning on Saturday. Snoop around and you'll notice a Halloweenified sprucing-uppage to a couple of the blog graphics; I spent most of the night doing that, and now that it's up, I ask myself: "It took all night to do that?"


We went to Target tonight, because this is what twenty-somethings with lives and worlds that are their oysters do on Friday nights: They go to Target. Along with a few other things that I must force myself to hold off on writing about, I found the four awesome monster finger puppets seen above in their party supplies aisle. It was like, Dora hats, Disney-Pixar Cars blowhorns, Shrek paper plates and then BAM, rubber monster finger puppets from Hell.

I'm not one to bust a nut over thirty cents, but it bugged me that the things were priced at $1.29 each. I would've felt so much more triumphant about my purchase if they were a buck, because that's what things like this are supposed to be: A buck. You're supposed to look at these, know you don't need 'em and buy them anyway because they're "just a buck." At $1.29 a pop for the four puppets, I paid over a dollar more than I was comfortable with. I could've used that dollar. In a perfect world, I could've used that dollar for a fifth rubber monster finger puppet.

But, as the kids like to say these days whenever they're feelin' sassy, "whatev." They're great little toys, full of pleasant plasticky scents, colorful paint jobs and horrendous faces. Scoring the four, I can't tell if they guy on the upper left is the most normal of the bunch, or if I'm just assuming he is because he's the only one with two eyes that are the same size. I probably like the black skull on the lower left best, if not for the painstakingly detailed pink stitches under his mouth, then for the fact that I keep thinking he's a gorilla even though he hasn't a single gorilla-like feature.

Most points for creativity goes to the ghoul on the upper right, appearing to be some sort of ugly albino who messily eats blue magic markers. He looks indignant, and he should, because there's a fucking earthworm crawling out of his eye socket.

Thank you, Target. If my fingers could actually fit into the baby hand-sized holes on the back of the puppets, I'd manipulate one of them to compliment you on your parfum.

This doubles as your all-day Saturday thread, which turns into the Saturday Night Thread, and maybe potentially possibly even the little-seen Sunday Morning Thread. Enjoy.

Posted by Matt on 09/02/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 53 comments

” this is what twenty-somethings with lives and worlds that are their oysters do on Friday nights: They go to Target.”

Story of my life.

Chestnuts roasted by marioshoku @ 09/02/2006 2:54 AM


“It took day to do that?” Oh you already changed it! Now I have nothing to say except who wants to keep me up all morning so I can watch Kirby?

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 09/02/2006 2:54 AM


“It took day to do that” is the new “Doritos chicken blah blah.” But now that’s our little secret, doho.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/02/2006 2:56 AM


I went Halloween’ing at Target tonight, too! Saw the new Jones flavors. I’m sad that caramel apple didn’t return, but I bought some “Spider Cider” and “Gruesome Grape” and will give those a shot once they’re cold. Hopefully the cider will be reminiscent of the caramel apple, because damn that stuff is awesome. Candy corn made an unaltered return, and the Berry flavor came back under a different name (“Berried Alive”). There are also Jones Halloween bottles this season, which don’t seem too impressive upon first glance, but the packaging definitely rocks. I picked up “Monster Mohito”, but there were also flavors like “Drop Dead Lemon Drop”, “Creepy(?) Cranberry”, and possibly one other that I’m forgetting. Looks like it’s gonna be an awesome season. We have practically two months of Halloween to look forward to! :D

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 09/02/2006 2:58 AM


Talked about in the last thread, but I got the Joneses too, and I couldn’t be happier. They’ll be the first Countdown entry. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/02/2006 3:00 AM


To our graves Matt, to our graves.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 09/02/2006 3:02 AM


I finally started seeing Halloween stuff around here; but they had put a crap load of Christmas stuff out too….and, Matt, you make it sound like we’re supposed to do something else with our Friday nights besides go to Target or Wal-Mart…strange as it is, I actually did: before going to the stores we went to a local restaurant to listen to, I kid you not, a bluegrass band….I think it’s time for new friends :)

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 09/02/2006 3:05 AM


I used to have one of those that looked like the “not man” from Anthrax.

Chestnuts roasted by DanDan @ 09/02/2006 3:08 AM


Oh and I was told today that Dollar Tree has some cool Universal Monsters figures. Of course they are probably generic like “vampire guy” or “wolf dude”. But that’s even better.

Chestnuts roasted by DanDan @ 09/02/2006 3:10 AM


I want blog ghostie plushies! :D

I heart you, Dracula.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 09/02/2006 3:26 AM


Man this is moving too slow. Some one bust out some ghost stories or something.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 09/02/2006 3:55 AM


Hope you got lots of cool donations for the Countdown. :) I think those fingerpuppets are pretty cool, I’m picturing people wearing them at cocktail parties. You know, the same people who generally wear the olives on their fingers? Yeah, so I go to weird parties….. ;-)

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 09/02/2006 4:45 AM


Isn’t the blog ghost “Boo” from Super Mario Brothers? You probably CAN get plushes,Ryane.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 09/02/2006 5:05 AM


The dollar store we went into….I ‘think’ it was a Doller General…also have old school horror movie posters. I know I saw King Kong and Dracula for sure, but there was a few boxes with plenty. And if anyone is into really bad horror films, they had boxes of DVDs with tons of craptastic horror flicks.

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 09/02/2006 5:38 AM


Ah! Halloween is coming! Though it is warm here where i live, i have begun to feel a certain autumny atmosphere here and there, though usually in small moments. Forgive me for being off-topic, but i got my Darkwing Duck voume 1 DVD set in the mail from amazon the day it was released. Guess i wasn’t so silly to pay those shipping charges, eh? I anticipated the local Target wouldn’t have it on release day. There was some good stuff on there! Some of those episodes brought back some specific childhood memories, things i hadn’t thought about in years. As i had hoped and anticipated, there was humor in the episodes which i can appreciate more now than when i was a kid. Some of the episodes were pretty well animated; they could’ve almost passed for a movie, at least at some points. I was recently inspired to do a “Darkwing Duck Returns” fanfic, which is intended to chronicle an aging Darkwing’s return to crimefighting after having been forced into retirement a decade earlier. It will partially send up such things as Frank Miller’s graphic novel “the Dark Knight Returns” and the movie “Superman Returns”; as a matter of fact, i anticipate it will contain many humorous references to the distinct lack of original ideas in our popular culture today. I don’t want to give away anything, but i’ll post it on fanfiction.net when i finish it (which will likely take awhile, because part pf the story will be devoted to detailing the events leading to DW’s retirement). All i can say for now is, almost all of the main characters from the series will be back, as will many of the old villains.

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 09/02/2006 7:05 AM


Alright, now we’ve got something.
We were already planning on making our weekly trek to TARGET today anyway but now I am really looking forward to it. E. Claire got a few more outfits from there (I love my mummy, etc). And now to read that the Jones’ are back in town?!! Yabba dabba BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 09/02/2006 7:59 AM


Am I the only person seeing Christmas tree needles instead of ghosts? I’m used to out-of-season graphics on X-E, but since I seem to be the only one seeing them this time, I find it troubling.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 09/02/2006 8:13 AM


DUN-DA DUN-DA DUN-DA DUN-DA…59 DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, 59 DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN…LA, LA, LALA

Chestnuts roasted by neo @ 09/02/2006 8:14 AM


Nevermind, it was a cache problem. Refreshing fixed it :D

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 09/02/2006 8:14 AM


You shoulda put a quarter or something in there for scale. They look massive, but it’s probably just me. I like the marker eater…though the gorilla’s eyes look like mismatched olives, which adds some appeal.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 09/02/2006 8:19 AM


Don’t feel bad that your fingers don’t fit in those tiny rubber mask holes: I always find that the mouth splits real quick when you do that. Feel good that your overpriced rubber finger mask puppet things will remain in top condition for longer. I’m sure that will brighten up your day.

Chestnuts roasted by Pete @ 09/02/2006 8:20 AM


When did the new stickers go up on the Trapper Keeper? I love them!

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 09/02/2006 9:17 AM


Thanks to Ernesto, we’re having a very fall-like day in Pittsburgh. Not only is it rainy, but it’s definitely in the 50s and is only going to get up to 66° today. This morning I put on my favorite fall color-combo of brown and black, and after doing some work I plan to spend all day staring hard at the trees outside until they start turning. AH! I see yellow leaves already! Mission accomplished, time for Target.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 09/02/2006 9:25 AM


I went to Target last night and their Halloween shit wasn’t out yet.
The shelves were empty and had “We’re working on something great” or whatever bullshit signs up.
I was so furious that I destroyed the entire store with my mighty fist.

Find the lie.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 09/02/2006 10:15 AM


I’m going to Target post vite, in the hopes that we could have mini-Jones party this week. I’ll let you know if it has indeed gone-off, Colonel. Two days is enough time for them to get their crap together, right? It had better be.

I shall return for the usual shenanigans, TONIGHT!

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 09/02/2006 11:02 AM


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