Rubber Monster Puppet Guys From Hell.

It felt really weird not posting on Friday after doing it everyday for a month, which probably explains why I’m posting this at three in the morning on Saturday. Snoop around and you’ll notice a Halloweenified sprucing-uppage to a couple of the blog graphics; I spent most of the night doing that, and now that it’s up, I ask myself: “It took all night to do that?


We went to Target tonight, because this is what twenty-somethings with lives and worlds that are their oysters do on Friday nights: They go to Target. Along with a few other things that I must force myself to hold off on writing about, I found the four awesome monster finger puppets seen above in their party supplies aisle. It was like, Dora hats, Disney-Pixar Cars blowhorns, Shrek paper plates and then BAM, rubber monster finger puppets from Hell.

I’m not one to bust a nut over thirty cents, but it bugged me that the things were priced at $1.29 each. I would’ve felt so much more triumphant about my purchase if they were a buck, because that’s what things like this are supposed to be: A buck. You’re supposed to look at these, know you don’t need ‘em and buy them anyway because they’re “just a buck.” At $1.29 a pop for the four puppets, I paid over a dollar more than I was comfortable with. I could’ve used that dollar. In a perfect world, I could’ve used that dollar for a fifth rubber monster finger puppet.

But, as the kids like to say these days whenever they’re feelin’ sassy, “whatev.” They’re great little toys, full of pleasant plasticky scents, colorful paint jobs and horrendous faces. Scoring the four, I can’t tell if they guy on the upper left is the most normal of the bunch, or if I’m just assuming he is because he’s the only one with two eyes that are the same size. I probably like the black skull on the lower left best, if not for the painstakingly detailed pink stitches under his mouth, then for the fact that I keep thinking he’s a gorilla even though he hasn’t a single gorilla-like feature.

Most points for creativity goes to the ghoul on the upper right, appearing to be some sort of ugly albino who messily eats blue magic markers. He looks indignant, and he should, because there’s a fucking earthworm crawling out of his eye socket.

Thank you, Target. If my fingers could actually fit into the baby hand-sized holes on the back of the puppets, I’d manipulate one of them to compliment you on your parfum.

This doubles as your all-day Saturday thread, which turns into the Saturday Night Thread, and maybe potentially possibly even the little-seen Sunday Morning Thread. Enjoy.

53 thoughts on “Rubber Monster Puppet Guys From Hell.

  1. starwenn

    Even I’m feeling a bit fall-ish. Like Pittsburgh, the Philadelphia/Camden area was lashed by Ernesto, giving us fabulous chilly, gray, rainy weather. On my way home from work, I noticed the grocery store had the first fall decorations outside. Fat pumpkins, giant scarecrows, tall, heavy stalks of wheat, pots and pots of mums, and various “ornamental grasses” were flanked by orange ribbons and the wet remains of orange and red streamers. They still haven’t put out much besides candy in the store, but if the outside is any indication, the real fall stuff should be up shortly, probably as soon as we get past Labor Day.

  2. DanDan

    So I scored a Dracula, Frankenstein, Wolfman and Mummy figures at the Dollar Tree. And I also got a pack of Bride of Frankenstein playing cards. They haven’t put out the crappy $1.00 horror movies..yet.

  3. Pingback: Smell my feet… | Branded in the 80s

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