And here we are, the end of the 2006 potentially first annual X-Entertainment August Megaparty. I guess my little scheme worked: Nobody complained that there weren't any "real" articles this month. Actually, those facts are mutually exclusive -- it's been a more insanely busy month that the blog update rate would suggest, and I wouldn't have had time for the big ones anyway. Just worked out that way.

This month, we saw everything from Pokemon's 10th anniversary party to Hostess Grizzly Chomps, Pepzi Jazz, Zany Zappers and beyond. I've had fun, and it's taught me that updating the blog on a very regular basis from this point forth is a good idea. Frankly, some of the best times I've had doing this site are when I'm just trying to find stuff to write about. I've gotten to do that everyday this month, discounting those occasions when I updated without really updating. Like I mentioned earlier this week, I plan to keep this spot very active from now on, Megaparty or not.

We're not going to go out with a bang, but we're going to go out with a post. Here it is...

(click to enlarge)
It was a very light day at work, mainly because half of the office took off for vacation, and the other half were so close to the last big weekend of summertime to notice if I was actually doing anything worth paying for. My wallless office cubicle looks like the junior version of my office at home; it's cluttered to the brim with all the things that make me me, along with all the things coworkers were planning to throw away until my open arms made a difference. A lot of the junk is stuff I slowly brought in from home -- anything that would fit into my laptop bag-sized bag, because it's not like I was going to carry giant Leatherface statues bare on a crowded morning bus. Other things consist of freebies looted from other workers, including that swank and gigantic inflatable "Scream," based on the yelling dude from Edvard Munch's oft-stolen masterpiece painting.

Whenever work is really light, I start digging around my desk for things to occupy my time with. Such festivals usually end with me sneaking a Friday the 13th DVD onto my screener TV -- I long ago lent the boxed set to a coworker, and either due to laziness or pure foresight, never bothered to bring them back home after he returned them. There's good feelings to be had with watching the scene in F13 V where Jason impales the Michael Jackson wannabe as he's taking a shit in the office of a kids' network. A combination of naughty and awesome, I guess.

After watching various death scenes for a while, I started to crave something a little more hands-on. And I found it, right behind an empty, turtle-shaped container from the old Ninja Turtles cookie collection.

Pee-wee's Playhouse Colorforms! My former boss, whom I parted ways with after switching departments, gave me this set for Christmas in 2004. She knew it was a great gift, and so did I. As she stood there watching me unwrap, I detected the horror on her face as I immediately tore into the mint sealed box and started removing Colorforms pieces from their protective sheet. I knew the set from eBay; it wasn't worth very much. The look on my boss's face told another story: She bought it at an antique shop, meaning that she paid something in the realm of RIDICULOUS for my Pee-wee Colorforms.

I closed up the box and turned it into a for-display-only item on my shelf, totally trying to ignore the fact that I'd already ripped the bitch open and that the damage was done. I'm sure she moved on five minutes later, but I always felt a little bad about it. Of course, there's statutes of limitations involved with feeling bad, and almost two years later, I thought it was safe to finally pull all the Pterri Colorforms out and make them do obscene things to Cowboy Curtis.

Though Pee-wee's Playhouse is currently airing on Adult Swim, I haven't sat down to watch it. I own some of the DVD sets, but I haven't watched those, either. I'm not sure why this is. Maybe it's because I loved the show soooo damn much as a kid, I'm afraid to feel anything different for it than what I remember feeling for it. I don't want to watch it and turn it into irony. Doesn't mean that Pee-wee's Playhouse still doesn't hold up as one of the finest programs in the history of fine programs, and even though I've got my weird rule, I'll always make an exception for the Christmas special. I can watch that thing everyday. On most days, I do. Because Grace Jones was supposed to go to the White House.

As far as Colorforms go, this is a pretty rockin' set. An outdoors shot of Pee-Wee's Playhouse both served as a wonderful backdrop for hot Colorforms action, and confirmed for me that some of the pillars seen in the opening credits were indeed giant lava lamps. It's also one of the rare sets where you arguably get too many Colorforms to fit on the board. This is not something to complain about, ever. They even dug deep into the show's more obscure recurring characters, and committed the terrific mortal sin of mixing Penny's world with Pee-wee's world, which never happened on the show because it kind of would've been blasphemy.

It's one of the best Colorforms playsets I've ever seen, partly because it's so inherently maniacal that it doesn't matter if you stick the characters on sideways, upside-down or backwards -- everything feels like it fits. Even when I positioned the King of Cartoons in such a way that he appeared to be jamming two film reels into the eyes of the giant sphinx, I never got the impression that I was being rebellious.

As good as the Pee-wee Colorforms were, I couldn't kill more than fifteen minutes or so with 'em. After that, I went back to another well -- one I wrote about last month...

Yeah, my coworkers and I are still playing that plug-and-play Street Fighter 2 Genesis thing. I kicked all kinds of ass for many weeks, but admit that the competition has grown a bit fiercer lately. This is mostly due to the fact that we've come up with all sorts of rules, regulations and variations. It started with us outlawing the "cheap" guys, like Honda, Blanka and Chun-Li -- warriors who can defeat entire planets simply by hitting their internal "A" buttons over and over again. Eventually, we learned that every warrior in Street Fighter can be a cheap bastard if they tried hard enough. Something had to be done to keep the game interesting, otherwise we'd have nothing left to do but, you know, work.

We always play tournament mode, meaning that two players rail against each other with teams of six warriors each. To make things more unpredictable, we've now taken to drawing the warriors' names out of a glass. Sometimes, someone will end up starting with one of the cheap characters, and the games won't be much different than they normally are. Other times, some poor schmuck will have to begin their journey with Balrog, a man who is completely unaware that his feet exist and can be used in battle. The teams shown above aren't for example purposes -- they're teams my friend and I actually drew this afternoon. I was the left column, and let me tell ya, Vega can jump like a sissy all he wants -- dude don't stand a chance against my Blanka and his amazing ability to remain perfectly still throughout entire rounds but still kill people because he is swarming with high volt electricity.

When you're playing in tournament mode, there's no greater shame than losing all six of your guys to your opponent's first-up. By the time Blanka was done, Ken, Dhalsim, Chun-Li, Honda and Bison felt like Savio Vega, Fatu and Henry Godwinn at the 1995 WWF Survivor Series. Most of you won't get it, but I'm okay with that.

The August Megaparty may be over, but THE FUN DON'T STOP HERE. And remember, we're just a short time away from the 2006 Halloween Countdown -- the event that may very well cause me to finally crack.

Posted by Matt on 08/31/2006. E-mail me!