X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

08/29/2006: August Megaparty #29: Buffalo Ranch Doritos!

A few of you have posted premature fond farewells to the August Megaparty. Some good news for ya — I’m hoping to continue the bloggy updating on a very regular basis. I won’t say daily, but it’s probably safe to bank on every other day, at least. I’ve had fun with it and see no reason to stop. The only difference for the post-Megaparty era is that I won’t post an entry just to tell you that I’m not posting an entry. I almost did that tonight, but Doritos saved me by flavoring itself like a buffalo wing.

“Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch” Doritos continue the fairly recent trend of making chips and other kinds of junk food taste like buffalo wings. Buffalo wings minus the chicken, at least. The formula is really just a matter of adding spicy cheesy dust and seasonings akin to ranch dressing, and though there’s nothing abnormal at all about that when it’s put to paper, you’ll still feel like you’re eating buffalo wing chips. Which is kind of disgusting, albeit in a kind of thrilling way.

Presented in a bag that’s colored so close to baby blue that I’m tempted to call Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch the learnin’ the ropes, up and comin’ younger brother of Cool Ranch Doritos. I like to think that the bags come alive when eyes aren’t on them, giving Cool Ranch Doritos the chance to tell Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch Doritos what to do, how to be a man, what to wear, etc. Etagramulfabetz.

The new chips are good, but they’re so loaded with Dorito Dustâ„¢ and spices that it’s hard to eat more than a handful in a sitting. Technically, you’re not supposed to eat more than a handful in a sitting anyway. I can’t exactly say that I’m nuts over them, for it’s a fact that in the history of me owning food, no bag of Doritos has ever survived longer in the kitchen than new Blazin’ Buffalo Ranch. I just can’t eat them without thinking about chicken, and I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos.

Which brings us to the point of today’s entry. I challenge all of you use the phrase, “I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos,” in casual real life conversation at some point tomorrow. Do it for me; it’s been a rough month.

You Should Also Read:
Kryptonite Doritos - Halloween Cheetos - Holiday Cheetos

Doritos and Oreos are too things I can’t eat with in the 40 mile radius of people in fear that they’ll see my teeth.

I’m an Internet Gramps who can’t figure out this blahfanglaa new technology, but if this is any use to Livejournalers, enjoy.

You know, Frito Lay should really consider using Jimmy Hart in a new ad campaign

That may be the greatest challenge I have ever heard. I’m going to a zoo with a lady friend tomorrow. Oh I will say the line, I will say the line.

I canâ€™t stand any food thatâ€™s covered in a fine dust, including Doritos. Iâ€™m glad that you posted something Matt, and Iâ€™m glad that youâ€™re going to try to be more regular on the blog. Regular, like Metamucil.

I had some Buffalo Wing chips the other day, they tasted like donkey dick. They weren’t Doritos, but same principle. I threw the bag out. Don’t worry it was only a small one.

I accept your challenge. I’m not sure how I plan to do it, but I’m going to try.

Is it okay to throw the phrase in as a non-sequitr? Like my boss says “I think this procedure should be written differently.” And I say “I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos.”

Has anyone tasted the Habenero-flavored Doritos I’ve seen but have been to afraid to try? I think those and scotch bonnets (if I remember the Good Eats episode on peppers) are the hottest peppers on the planet.

I haven’t seen these yet, but I’ll definately try them when I do. My favorite Dorito flavor is Salsa. Spicy, but not too spicy.

Five bucks says that if the above picture were true (i.e. a giant-size bag of Doritos with Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart standing next to it), the Honky Tonk Man is inside, preparing to defend his Intercontinental Title against the Ultimate Warrior (which, by the way, he would ALWAYS seem to retain by suspicious means — countout, disqualification, etc). Man, that burned me up when I was eight years old, having to learn that life’s not fair when Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake was denied the well-deserved belt time after time because of a technicality.

Those chips look good, but I wouldn’t know, since I usually go the El Cheapo route and buy a bag of Roundy’s (Wisconsin generic brand) Nacho Flovored Tortilla Chips, always on sale and too good a deal to pass up.

I just used the saying as my title in my blog. That’s prolly the best I can do. I will try to say it to someone real tomororw for sure!

Thor: Yeah, that was bittersweet. On one hand, we got to witness big time wrestling history and a big time great moment with Warrior killing Honky in thirty-seconds. But for those of us who spent that whole year really wanting pants like Brutus Beefcake’s, it kind of sucked to find out that he was gone. And because of Ron Bass of all people!

You know what? I think I’m going to toss in my absolute favorite movie quote too. After my boss says “What?” I’m going to add “I’ve got better things to do tonight than die.”

It makes me sad that I haven’t had the opportunity to use that one in a while. Lately, my friends are all too grown up to come up with stupid ideas that are likely to result in bodily harm. Therefore I never get to quote Transformers. I need more immature friends.

I think the greatest moment involving Brutus was the chilling edition of The Barber Shop when all witnessed the destruction of The Rockers. Nothing was more rewarding than seeing Marty Janetty getting flung through a plate glass window.

Ooh, Ron Bass. His mauling of Beefcake introduced me to the cruel realities of TV censorship. Remember when he used his spurs on “The Barber” and there was this HUGE red X covering the screen, placed just so you could get a hint of the fake blood streaming from his forehead? Heady times, those were…

Aw, I dunno. What if I compromised and just tried to work “chicken” and “Doritos” into the same sentence? Otherwise I’ll probably just cop out and mutter it to the fax machine or something.
I’m really happy to know that you’ve had fun with the Megaparty. Now I’m off to check out that LJ link. (I’m guess it’s a syndicated feed and if it is…!!!)

A few minutes ago. Yes, I’m too old to be living with my mom but we make a great comedy act.

Doho: You moved the furniture again? We haven’t even had these new chairs for a week.
Mother Doho: You’re sitting in my chair.
Doho: I am?
Mother Doho: I switched them.
Doho: But you didn’t change the position of where one of the chairs are. Why did you move my chair to the exact position this chair was in and then move this chair to this position, which is closer to where that chair was?
Mother Doho: I didn’t, I just switched the stuff in the arm rest and put my stuff in that one and your dads stuff in the other.
Doho: Why?
Mother Doho: Because he isn’t going to want to watch television from that angle.
Doho: Well neither do I!
Mother Doho: What’s it matter to you, you don’t put stuff in either one of them?
Doho: Because, this chair is more comfortable than that one, this one is mine too, it has been since we first got them and I tried both of them out.
Mother Doho: I don’t see how.
Doho: No 2 chairs are a like
Mother Doho: I can’t believe you, you want me to switch them (in a sarcastic tone)
Doho: Yes, do it.
Mother Doho: Now if I hadn’t said anything you wouldn’t have even known.
Doho: Not true, see how I instantly knew to sit on this one?
Mother Doho: I can’t believe you.
Doho: You know what? I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating doritos
Mother Doho:

Doho: JUST SWITCH THE CHAIRS.

I had this girlfriend once (seriously!) who would lick the, uh, “dust” off of her doritos and then throw them in the garbage. It was especially strange because she would try to be inconspicuous about the whole thing, and if you asked her what she was doing, she’d shout at you about having once kissed her friend.

20th yo. Can’t say anything about Buffalo Doritos, though Gaucamole Doritos are quite choice.

“Outlaw” Ron Bass’ beatdown on Beefcake STILL stays with me. It was the first time I saw a brutal bloody beat-down. It’s probably tame by todays standards, but back then? Fuggudaboutit. I also will never forget when Jake Roberts snake bit the Macho Man. Come to think of it, the constrictors were Damien and Lucifer but did the cobra ever have a name?

I hate to double post, but I sure could go for a snake burger right now.

RIP John

When you’re a cobra, you don’t need a name. “Jake’s cobra” is badass enough.

My favorite Doritos of all time are no longer made: Jumpin’ Jack Cheese. Big sleek black bag full of what was essentially a spicier version of Cool Ranch with really dark specs of seasoning. Awesome.

I thought Jimmy Hart was REALLY on the bag as I was scrolling down. He blends in pretty well with that suit on.

How the fuck am I gonna be able to say that sentence with feeling? I don’t think there’s one dorito on this planet that is vegan. Hmmm… could I maybe say “I don’t want to think about chicken while I’m eating Salsitas”?

From Wiki: Jake famously used a (devenomed) cobra to bite the Macho Man’s arm (ironically, it was the snake who died after the incident, due to a toxic reaction).

Do you realize what this means? Macho Man Randy Savage is poisonous. Honestly I am not too surprised.

Is it alright if I rent Chicken Run and leave it conspicuosly laying around the house….

Matt, it’s been a real rough month for me too. Here’s to hoping things are better in September!

I can’t stand non-standard flavoured potatoe chips. Bleh. But I do like Doritos. Specifically, “Baked” Doritos. It’s the only one of the “Baked” brands that I think tastes exactly like the regular variety. So I can get it and at least tell myself that I’m being healthy.

I double that notion, Cerianna….August has been a crap of a month…here’s hoping were all in better places by the end of September….
And I already have my plan for when to use the phrase and complete my assignment, thank you very much…at least THAT’s something

Now I’ve got a pang for some Taco Doritos! Why can’t I find those anywhere! The last time I saw them was at a gas station 4 hours away in the super large bag variety…so I bought one.

Those look good. Now I’ve got a pang for some Taco Doritos! But I can’t find them anywhere!

The last time I found them was last year at a gas station 4 hours north…so I bought a giant bag.

Matt, we still have a the “Jumpin Jack Cheese” doritos around here. And yes they are quite tasty.

Now that we are talking about Wrestling of yesteryear, You guys remember when I believe it was Tugboat sat on Jake The Snake Python? I remember when I was little I was shocked as fuck to see them smash his python.

That was Earthquake (the late Jon Tenta) that did the python squashing. Interesting fact: the ’snake’ he sat on was actually pantyhose filled with hamburger, no joke.

Anyway, this has nothing to do with anything, but it’s techinically my birthday now! I’m 23 years young….and a tad depressed about it.

But to be fair to Jester, Tugboat would later be named Typhoon and join up with Quake to form the Natural Disasters. Sadly, they no longer squished hamburger-filled pantyhose snakes. However Tug later went on to don a Bedazzler assaulted storm trooper helmet and literally burst onto the scene as the SHOCKMASTER! Search for him on X-E. Well worth the read.

Hey Matt, kinda off-topic but the Photog thread has posting open because of the posting system change, as do all of the old articles. I was wondering if you really wanted it to be that way, or if you wanted to preserve the thread how it ended. If this has already been mentioned I’m sorry. I am still recovering from 6 weeks of training with no internet access.

Ah, I stand corrected, Your absolutely right because I remember he did the “Earthquake” move onto the snake.

Me: Hey man, want me to bring round some food?
Mate: Yeah dude, bring round something. We might get a pizza as well.
Me: Cool, what sort of pizza?
Mate: Some sort of chicken thing.
Me: I dunno, I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos.
Mate: …what?

Ahh, my life is like a television show. Soon I’ll lose my good rating and get cancelled.

9Line, just got done reading the Shockmaster’s grand entrance, The link for the .AVI file doesn’t work anymore, Does anyone know where I can get it? I have got to see the fat man fall through the wall.

Swing your arms from side to side c’mon it’s time to go do the mario, take one step and then again….

I wonder if these things come in smaller bags? I wouldn’t mind tasting the joys of chicken Doritos, but if I don’t like ‘em I am sure there’d be an almost-full bag sitting in the cupboard until next August…

September will be better than august. Mostly cause it doesn’t get to 100 degrees here in september.
Cool ranch is the only Dorito flavor I enjoy, and they are quite enjoyable. I don’t think I would like these for the whole chicken thing.
Question: Do they taste like chicken, or just remind you of chicken?
I’m gonna try the challenge, but is it cheating if I write it on my arm?

Hubby and I tried out the Doritos the other night, the were really good IMO. I don’t know if ShockMaster! can comppete with the one and only Gobbledy Goooker…and 9 line, the snake died because it was posioned by Macho Man’s steroid juices! lol

Man….you get all the best flavours…in the UK we have like three flavours; Cool Original (which is basically ranch), Tangy Cheese and now new Extreme Chili Heatwave. What I wouldn’t give for Guacamole Doritos!

here is the aformentioned Gobbledy gooker for those who aren’t familiar….it could also be used in the Thanksgiving countdown, (no need to thank me Matt)

I absolutely love the fact that Matt puts in “X-Entertainment.com” as his website when he posts. And I’m wearing Brutus Beefcake pants as I type this.

Also if I wasn’t so lazy I would definately download a Fire Pro Wrestling ROM and make a “Matt” character. His finisher would be “X-EnterMAIMent”.

Now all day at work I’ll be hoping that somebody comes up to the desk to check out books or ask me where the business building is and then casually remark “I don’t want to think about chicken while I’m eating Doritos.” And I’ll reply “You don’t? That’s so Bitner.” It’ll just be further proof that the revolution is coming, on a tide of blood, fire, and decent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle reissues.

Livejournal syndication of X-E!? My top two bookmarks together at last?! I haven’t been so excited since… well, since I saw Conan O’Brien on “House” before the Emmys started, but before that for a really looong time.

JLAJRC, I’ve had the Habanero Doritos and they are really hot. Like you have 5 of them and you have to run to get water. But that didn’t prevent me from eating half the bag. I just had teary eyes the whole time. Aside from the heat they are pretty good.

I’ll never forget the McMahon quote when the cobra bit Mach Man’s arm: “THAT SNAKE BETTER BE DE-VENOMIZED”. I don’t know why, but that will just pop into my head a lot.

I shudder at the thought of those Doritos, partly because I’ve found the Buffalo-flavoring craze to be poorly done for the most part, but also because it meant the death of my beloved Four Cheese variety.

Today we have our departmental summer outting, so I shall endevour to work the requested line in there. I should have brought my camera. Nothing says “embarrassing pictures” like a legal department trip to the bowling lanes where beer is readily available.

Hey guys, first time poster here. But I’m on the site all day (because when you work for a company where nobody can tell that you really don’t do anything, you can blog it up for hours).

Friend: Were on the phone, so your phone smells like chicken. Or ass. Or chicken-ass which is the worst bird ass I can think of.

Me: I don’t want to eat doritos and chicken at the same….fuck I messed it up.

Friend: I’ll be honest, the only thing I can think about when eating Doritos is how sweet its going to be when im not eating Doritos anymore.

So to make a long story short, we watched 3 episodes of Dog the Bounty Hunter and I didn’t eat Doritos.

So many yummy Dorito flavors. I loved the Jumpin’ Jack Cheese flavor. I have to say my favorite “new” flavor is the Salsa ones.

Doho, that little story earned a LOL, and earned me a few questioning stares from co-workers.

With the people that I work with, working in that phrase will be the easiest assignment ever.

So the WWE is making people take down the shockmaster vid? Makes me wonder if they are doing a worst angles of wrestling DVD. If the NFL can release football follies I see no reason why the WWE cannot do something similar. Forget the classic old school matches, what I miss the most from WCW was how bad it was - pre-Bischoff era. Spin the wheel make the deal and the Dungeon of Doom mini-movies were awesomely bad. And the WWF was no better. Amyone remember Repo-man? Irwin R. Schyster? And of course the Gobbledy-Gooker. I would so buy that DVD!

Well, I’ve been checking everything a day behind, but I managed to work this one in today’s meeting with the boss…

Boss (paraphrased): We need to cut back on the amount of overtime.
Me: Why?
Boss: We just can’t afford to keep paying for it every week.
Me: Are we going to get some more help in here then?
Boss: You know that I would if I could. I just can’t explain it to the people above me.
Me: Well, I don’t want to think about chicken while I’m eating Doritos either.
Boss: Ok, I understand, I’ll see if we can get overtime approved for a while longer.

Thanks Matt! My boss pretended to know what I was talking about, just so he didn’t look like an idiot, and now I get to keep getting paid well! X-E saved my life!

Sorry to double post, but I forgot to mention: Cool that you’re gonna keep up the blog on a (near) daily basis! I’ve had a ton of fun this month reading through these…
Do you (or anyone) know why it takes so long to load the first time every day? The site pops up super quick, but when I go into the blog it takes almost a minute (and forces my whole computer to wait) before it gets in… I’m using IE 6 (yeah, I know, but it’s a work computer so I don’t have a say).

Sometimes I’d think that WCW got all their ideas for specialty matches from “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome”.

Does anyone remember in ‘99 or ‘00 when WCW tried to top the Hell in a Cell by making that cage with three levels? The belt was hung on a rope at the very top of the cage, just like in a ladder match.

I’m actually not sure why that would happen if the main page loads fast for you. You might want to try out Firefox just to see if it helps.

Just tell your boss that your IT guy must be an idiot for forcing you to use IE.

Kind of off topic, but I had to say something. Kidz Bop is so warped. I mean if you can somehow deal with a bunch of 8 year olds screaming top hits as loud and off key as possible, they throw curveballs at you by having these kids scream songs they have no right to listen to in the first place. Evidently they have a Halloween album now. Monster Mash, Ghostbusters theme, that is all well and good, but then they throw in A Nightmare on Elm Street and Time Warp. What kid has seen Rocky Horror Picture Show?!?!? Deeply disturbing.

And later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops
And your husbands in jail
This state looks down on sodomy

And thats about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when you’re 23,
And are still more amused by prank phone calls,
What the hell is call ID?
My friends say I should act my age
Whats my age again?
whats my age again?

Sorry, that’s a tradition in my circle. You get an early morning wake up call with that blaring across the phone lines. And, I agree 24 is old, I know. But look at it this way, you’re going to do some of the stupidest things you’ll ever do in your life this year. Have fun!!

Couple of things, I love this blog, it has been the funniest yet with the “I don’t want to think about chicken while I’m eatting Dorritos”

Me: What time is lunch?
Co-worker: 12:00
Me: Aighty
Me: I might just grab something, I’m waiting on a delivery right now til 12
Co-worker: Come down and meet us
Me: I will if I have time, I’m going to get really huge if I keep eatting out
Co-worker: I’ll show you where to eat that isn’t so bad for you
Me: gotcha
Co-worker: Well there are at least two spots close by that are really good
Me: Well I dont want to think about chicken while I’m eating Doritos
Co-worker: Ha, Ha, well try to come. Call my cell when you leave!

Happy birthday Tetsu! I know what you’re feeling. My bday was months ago, and I still find myself wondering “What the hell happened to 22?”

Phil, posting on all old entries has been opened, though comments have to be approved. Check out the “Farewell Greymatter” post.
I know what you mean Katherine

X-E on LJ is actually difficult to wrap my head around. X-E on my Friend’s Page, with all the other silliness I’ve got on there? It’s too much. For now I’m sticking to accessing from the regular blog page, but once I figure out all this RSS nonsense, watch out.
Possibly of interest to some, though it’s a little early: Morgan Spurlock is working on a doc about the commercialization of Christmas. It’s going to be called What Would Jesus Buy?.

Yeah, it loads great in Firefox (I use it at home). I wish I could convince them to switch, but they’ve spent so much $ on making IE secure enough for us to use that they will never consider it… Oh well, I can handle the wait. I just don’t want to think about chicken while I’m eating Doritos, that’s all.

Hereâ€™s my, as Fox would say, â€œIDWTTACWIEDâ€
Mom- Are you sure you donâ€™t want some bagels?

Yuck, I hate Doritos. That “dust” gets all over and makes a mess, not to mention often leaves a funky aftertaste in your mouth. Actually, I don’t like most normal chips, period. They’re too greasy. (I will eat Baked Lays or Pringles when on sale or pretzels or popcorn aren’t among the choices.)

Me: I dunno. I am going to call the lawyer and get all the details. I don’t want to think about chicken when I am eating Doritos.

Me: (somewhat irritated) I don’t want to think about chicken when I am eating Doritos.

Yes three times, before I finally start laughing. I then hand her my PSP with the blog pulled up for a full explanation. She works nights as a nurse, and I knew hilarity would ensue after springing that on her.

Boss: Hey Cat, did marketing send those pieces for the new fund down.
Me: Yes, and they’re a bloody mess. Swear to God, every day those people get a little dumber and I die just a little more inside.
Boss: Yeah, yeah, I know. Your melodrama is duly noted. How long you think it’s gonna take me to get through those pieces? You think I’ll get through ‘em before we go downtown to go bowling?
Me: Depends on when Adam gets down here from class. But I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos.
Boss: Yeah, I hear ya. Chicken and Doritos … wait, what the f*ck does that have to do with the fund launch?
Me: Dude, it’s just an expression. (Rolls eyes dramatically.) I’ll have the mark up on your desk for the client piece shortly.
Boss: Good. You think I can get chicken and Doritos for lunch? You know any place that delivers?
Me: Um … yeah … uh … no.

Another good random line to use comes from this very thread:
“I thought Jimmy Hart was REALLY on the bag as I was scrolling down. He blends in pretty well with that suit on.” -Ryane

‘Twould be funny to remark in passing about some celebrity “I thought he was really on the bag.” and leave immediately.

Holy Jeez! I just watched the Shockmaster intro, Yes!! Thats all I can Say, friggin Sweet. I would start to watch wrestling again if they brought this guy back.

This probably belongs in yesterday’s blog post, but does anyone ever go back and read previous entries? This is just some key excepts. You can check out the whole article by clicking on my name.

Don May Jr. of Synapse Films gave Fango the exclusive news of an amazing discovery regarding John Carpenterâ€™s HALLOWEEN: â€œWhat weâ€™ve got is pretty much all the unused original camera negative from John Carpenterâ€™s original HALLOWEEN,â€ he says.

HALLOWEEN fans will likely be amazed too when they eventually get to check out the visual riches Synapse and Kirkus have unearthed. â€œWallace told me about some specifics of the original shoot,â€ May says, â€œand pointed out that what we have probably contains scenes that were originally filmed much differently and reshot. The â€˜clotheslineâ€™ sequence was completely redone by Carpenter; what you see in the film wasnâ€™t the way it was originally done. The most exciting possibility is that Wallace told me about the original endingâ€”and if this is indeed all the original camera negative, then we certainly have it. Wallace explained that he always thought it was funny that, even in the â€˜original shooting scriptsâ€™ that are for sale for HALLOWEEEN, the ending always has Michael Myers disappearing at the end. That isnâ€™t the way they originally shot it. The original shooting script, and the way the movie was initially filmed, had Michael dying at the end. Only a few days later did Carpenter decide to reshoot the ending with him staying alive. They filmed him falling, and Donald Pleasance doing a bunch of different reaction shots on the balcony, just in case they decided to change itâ€¦which they did.

â€œThere was even one can in those boxes labeled â€˜1981,â€™ â€ May adds, â€œso it makes me wonder if what we have is the new footage that was shot for HALLOWEENâ€™s television version. I wonâ€™t know for sure until I start digging through them.â€

Itâ€™s also uncertain at this point exactly what use will be made of all this material. â€œMalek Akkad [son of late HALLOWEEN producer Moustapha Akkad] has been in contact with me, and weâ€™re speaking right now,â€ May reveals. â€œObviously, Malek really wants the materials. I want to work with him and make sure itâ€™s all properly transferred and preserved, and Kirkus was very adamant that the footage not go anywhere without my participation and restoration services. It will be a major undertaking. Itâ€™ll take months. Iâ€™ve restored some classic horror films before [TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, RE-ANIMATOR], but Iâ€™ve never been so excited about a project. I mean, this is HALLOWEEN weâ€™re talking about hereâ€”one of the most influential and important horror films of all timeâ€”and weâ€™ve got around 45,000 feet of unused footage. Itâ€™s worth it to go all out and make sure itâ€™s all properly archived and transferred.â€

“How does a train hear? With its Engineers!”
“What’s the friendliest level of school? Hi School!”

Nickelodeon’s post sounds like a conversation with Dr. Sbaitso’s stoner brother.

I’ve got a pretty good question that nobody in the world has ever gotten correct. Can anyone here tell me what Grimus (the McDonalds big purple blob guy) is?

I know the answer, but only because I used to work for McDonald’s advertising and we had these CD’s that featured full bio’s on every character.

Knegative: I’ve been wanting to pick those up for a while. Just so I can open a can in a crowded area, read a joke aloud, and then proclaim to passers by, “Hey, I thought Pringles made potato chips, not corn chips.” And then laugh uncontrollably until they call somebody to take me away.

I haven’t managed to IDWTHAC anyone yet, but I’m loving the stories you guys posted. I like how, for the most part, people seem to be agreeing with the sentiment and moving on with the conversation. This could develop into a moderately interesting social experiment, if none of us are distracted by shiny objects or a new blog post.

I finally did it! Although, I should note before hand, i’m gonna mess up the stuff the other person said slightly, cause she was rattleing off facts that I couldn’t care less about

Sister: I was watching The Veiw and a margarita has as much calories as fried chicken

At this point I had started laughing, but it didn’t stop her from telling me the caloric content of mutiple drinks that I never have anyway. ‘Cause straight shots are amazing.
Great game! I’m gonna have to try it again.

Happy Birthday Tetsu. Is Salsa Verde the same as the regular Salsa Doritos? They still make Salsa ones and I love those. The Guacamole ones are pretty good too. Ranch of course is a classic.

Speaking of wrestling, I love going to Wrestlecrap.com . The Shockmaster angle is of course inducted among others.

I gotta point out, I love the pose Jimmy Hart’s in in the picure. It’s like he’s saying: “These Doritos are approved by the Mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart!”

Jedoc,
I thought someone was going to have to take ME away after reading your last post. The visual I formed got me laughing pretty hard. And if you all don’t agree, you don’t know funny. At least not the funny you get with your arms strapped across your chest in a pretty white coat with buckles.

There are several articles that reference Grimace’s symbolic power, as the above, linked article mentions.

Well, if X-E says it, it must be true….BUT WAIT! Honestly, I hate to say it, but he’s not a milkshake. Actually, I honestly thought that’s what he was too, but according to McDonald’s he’s something totally different.

I’m just some dude, some dude with a kick ass job who happens to be the world’s biggest Nickelodeon fan.

Dammit! I whipped out a “Booya!” and not only spelled it wrong, but got it thrown right back in my face.

Okay, so second guess; he’s a manifestation of the outbreak of genital warts Birdie spread throughout McDonaldland after her fling with Mayor McCheese?

Someone thought Grimace was a … milkshake? Am I reading that right?? Because I had to go find a picture of him, just to make sure I was thinking of the same “thing” and well, I don’t know any milkshakes that are big purple blobs.

And before anyone tells him he was right the first time, remember this: questioning the word Booya means questioning Zell Dincht. You don’t want to do that, do you?

Don’t get me started on Booyah Bait Co. You know how little I respect rednecks, but I’m always looking for more ammo and this further reinforces the fact that they can’t spell. To adapt Eddie Izzard: “there’s NOT a f***ing ‘H’ there!”

Ryane please read the archived articles. Just have Inspector Gadget guide you to ‘Grimace’. You’ll see!!!

Okay, so I was in line at the bank today and when it was finally my turn to make my deposit, I looked the lady dead in the face and shouted: “I don’t want to think about chicken when I am eating Doritos” The look on the tellers face was priceless. I just played it off from there and acted like I had not just shouted such absurdity and thanked her as a casually walked out with my receipt. Hope that brightens your day Matt.

I have no idea what the hell Grimace is, but my research led me to an answer which is, if not conclusive, at least satisfying. Click my name to find out the truth.

You know what, you probably better not. You probably can’t handle it. Nothin’ to be ashamed of.

Ok, I apparently couldn’t find the articles you were talking about, but I just searched on AOL about Grimace, and someone “that worked at McDonald’s” said he was a tastebud. :\

Look up my name in the post search, and you will find a link to an old McDonalds TV ad (E I E I O?) with original Evil Grimace and not-evil Jodie Foster. Not to mention my fears of a Melting Grimace.

Grimace, a papilla? well that’s at least interesting, given Colonel’s fine reference to the Human Papilloma Virus. For those of you interested in taste research, specifically the density of papillae on the tongue, I am a non-taster.

I was half right. According to Jedoc’s link, “While initially conceived as a character representing McDonald’s shakes….“

Used the phrase of the day at lunch with some co-workers. The look on all their faces was priceless, except for one. He too was an XE fan and called me on my usage and we had to explain to the group. You might have some new followers soon.

Contrary to popular belief HPV or the Avian/Bovine strain is NOT contracted from mentioning it twice on a blog.

I have nothing of real value to add as far as chicken or doritos or genital warts. Just wanted to express how much I hate my job. I only have 22 min. left in this hell hole today and I’m still not sure I’ll make it. Okay 21 min.

I sent a copy of that certificate at the bottom of the page in Jedocs link to a friend. (After inserting his name of course)

I wanted to go get fast food at lunch, and say the line of the day when I pulled up to the window, but I ate food that didn’t cause my heart to stop instead. I think I’ll just yell it at people as I drive home.

Well, considering that all of Grimace’s relatives (Shamrock Shake guy) represent milkshakes and Grimace sorta looks like one, I’d think milkshake also.

After all, if Birdy is supposed to represent French Fries instead of McChicken Sandwiches, I don’t see the big problem.

Frankly, I’m surprised McD’s never came up with characters for their Filet O Fish, turnovers, or any of their breakfest items (come on, you know you want to see a talking Egg McMuffin or McGriddle)

Co-worker (gruffly emptying company dishwasher): “I always have to empty the dishwasher. It’s always me”
Me: “So what? I don’t like to think about Chicken when I’m eating Doritos”
Co-worker: “You don’t wanna what? Chicken…wait…say that again”
Me: “Um…I don’y like to think about Chicken when I’m eating Doritos”
Co-worker: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It’s an expression”
Co-worker: ” An expression? Bollocks! Where?”
Me: “People say it all the time round here”
Co-worker: “I’ve never heard anyone use it before”
Me: “That’s because your from Cornwall, Hillbilly! ask Chase he’ll tell you”
Co-worker leaves kitchen hollering “Chase”
Angry co-worker and a bemused Chase return to find me crying with laughter. I’m a twat apparently.

SCOTT, McDonalds has a freaking Rollo’s shake in the UK???????? Sorry to yell…I clicked your name for a new diversion (six minutes to go here). That Rollo’s shake looks like the best thing ever. Just based on the cup, really, but it still looks good.

MaryJane: It is really, really good. I must confess to having shlurped down an unhealthy amount since I blogged that. I’m scared that it will disappear forever once summers gone (and we never get any Pumkin sjakes or anything cool like that…it’ll be back to chocolate and strawberry…whoop de do)

On the one day a month that the shake machine ISN’T broken at my closest McDonalds, the chocolate shakes taste like strawberry. And everyone thought it was all in my head, but then I started getting strawberry pits in my chocolate shakes.

It’s either those or rat turds one…either way Chocolate with a hint of whatever it is, is delightful.

I could’ve sworn I remember riding on a carousel made of McD’s characters in the restaurant as a kid. One of them was a police officer whose head was a bun and the stupid suare fish fillet was in between positioned so that all 4 corners stuck out of the sides. No idea what this things name was… but he was the only one I could ride as a kid without my feet dragging all over the damn carousel.

Happy Birthday Testu! Enjoy 23, it was SO much better than 24 has been for me so far.

“The Outlaw”’s brutal attack on Brutus the Barber Beefcake still haunts me- it was horrible! Brutus was my favorite (well, one of my favorties) at the time, and it was very viscious. Plus, I DISAGREE with whoever it was earlier in the blog who praised the break up of The Rockers that occurred on The Barbershop- that break up also affected me emotionally, as did Earthquake’s sitting on the snake AND his sitting on Hulk Hogan, breaking his ribs. Man, I wish wrestlinh could evoke some feelings in me NOW…I WANT to like it as much as I used to….I WANT to give them my time and money and they keep letting me down, man.

I can’t wait to say that chicken/Doritos line tonight when I am smoking certain substances with my friends. Ever since I got out of the hospital, drugs have helped ease my pain. I can never eat chips AGAIN IN MY LIFE so I can’t actually eat Doritos anymor- goddamn Crohn’s Disease.

Muppet Baby - I know what you mean about wrestling, I still try several times a week. Raw’s not *so* bad, but Smackdown is brutally boring.
It sucks that you can’t eat chips - do you just do the Whole Foods thing?

Where in the world can we get these doritos? My husband can’t stop thinking about them.

I actually answered my phone with the “IDWTTACWIAED”. I know it breaks the rules about working it in and all, but subtlety is not my strong suit.

Does anyone remember the McDonalds happy Meal prize, that had various McDonalds foodstuffs transforming into animals? Such as the French Fries turning into a dinosaury looking thing and the Package for the Pancakes turning into a Bird?

Thats funny Joker and Kneg, I dont remember the toys, but I remember the commerical, who could forget that, “turning into a Mc Donalds” line that Ronald says?

The line Matt reviews in that article are the ‘robots’, but there was also the second line that Jester describe (i.e., Dinosaurs). I loved the hell outta my Hot-Cakes Pterodactyl.

I tried really hard to work in “IDWTTACWIED” when my wife was talking about hanging up a picture, I couldn’t keep a straight face. But I did talk to my mom on IM and managed to work in a second for the day, here it is:

Mom: they are gone in jonathans room now, its your mother, the dog got him another turtle today, don’t know where they are coming from, i don’t think they can crawl under the fence, not enough room
Me: what does that mean?
Mom: what does what mean?
Me: the turtles, i guess they’re magic
Mom: yeah
Mom: he didnt kill it though, we put it over the fence, guess it crawled away cause its gone now
Me: that’s good, but I dont want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos
Mom: ok, habernero
Mom: what?
Me: what are you talking about?
Mom: the doritos, habernero? flavor
Me: yes, i love those one’s
Me: did you know there is now a buffaloe wing doritos?
Mom: i can’t eat but 2 or 3, too hot for me but they are good

I totally thought I would wuss out but I did it!
Me: If I throw this banana peel out the window, it’s not really littering, right? Because it’s biodegradable, and it creates the potential for comic hilarity?
Passenger: Yeah, and maybe it will grow a banana tree.
Me: Yeah…I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos.
Passenger: *Makes a phone call, mercifully ignoring the stupidity*

boss: “did you get those TPS reports done?”
andrew: ” I don’t want to think about chicken when I’m eating Doritos. “

Btw, I remeber the monopoly game, i was working at a mickey d’s in jersey, and the co worker peeled off a sticker game piece. She had an instant winner of a stereo! SO she gave the ticket to one of the regulars who come in, and he claimed it for her. and in the nex town over, someone got a car and the boardwalk piece….my ex got fired for stealinga bunch of fry containers with pieces

why on the one night out of the week that I don’t have anything to do, nothing is going on, no one is entertaining me.

I would have gotten in so much trouble with that. How can you not peel those all day if you work there?

JLAJRC (the imposter), the police officer you remember is actually Big Mac the Cop and that orange square was not a fish filet but rather a slice of cheese. The filet-o-fish characters were actually little filets-o-fish with fins that would jump out of small bodies of water.

I’ll tell ya, ever since Sid & Marty Krofft went after McDonald’s over those old characters, McDonald’s just hasn’t been the same.

My Friend: We did’nt get the tickets, but were still going to go to Toronto and doing something, do you have any suggestions?

did anyone ever have a birthday party at McDonalds? this was big back in the mid-80’s in my area, I’m just not sure if it was a trend.

I had an awesome one there once, got to see the kitchen, and even the employee break room. I remember thinking “wow, this has to be the best place in the world to work” plus I was around four years old.

Fox, Oh I loved going to McD bday parties, I don’t think I had one for myself, but I know a lot of my friends did. I remember they had a whole special play area in the basement. They had a play phone and you could call Ronald and all the charaters. Yeah, after talking to Grimace on the phone I decided McDonalds was the greatest place on earth.

Of course I matured since then, I now know that Disneyworld is the greatest place to be.

Hooray for continuing blog posts! Also, I really dig those Habanero flavored Doritos.. Salsa Verde’s a close second.

I am the Imposter, for some reason I typed your name in there JLAJRC. I meant to quote you. My bad. Yes, I knew it was a cop, but I swear that has to be the biggest, thickest, slice of cheese ever. Oh well, I still wish I could have rode on the fry guys or hamburglar.

Speaking of Buffalo Wings, any X-E fans in western NY going to the Buffalo Wing Festival in Buffalo this weekend?

Also, someone up above said that they’re still making “Jumpin’ Jack Cheese” Doritos. This can’t be true — can anyone confirm? I know they have/had something like it out recently — even in a black bag — but I haven’t heard a peep out of the originals in years.

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