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08/13/2006: August Megaparty #13: Robin Hood?

I can’t remember if Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves was any good, because I only saw it once, in theaters, on some long ago Saturday afternoon with friends I haven’t talked to in years. The theater was virtually empty for some reason, giving mah crew carte blanche to just roast the holy hell out of whatever was happening onscreen. As I recall, taunts thrown at Azeem were prevalent. We left early and went bowling.

What I do remember are all of the foolhardy attempts to turn the film into a full-on kiddy franchise, with action figures and games and all sorts of stuff that nobody wanted. I know the effort has to be made, because hey, the fact that some of these flicks find funding often has as much to do with promises of earnings from things other than ticket sales than the actual ticket sales. Still, in a sea of Ninja Turtles and the like, who the fuck wanted Robin Hood?

It’s almost unfortunate, because Kenner’s collection of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves toys very surprisingly did not suck. The action figures were well detailed, and came with so many cool accessories that you halfway forgot that you didn’t give a shit about the characters. Best of all, though, was the “Sherwood Forest” playset. Why? Because it was a remodeled Star Wars “Ewok Village.” THE Ewok Village. The toy I would’ve moved into if I was small enough. “Sherwood Forest” used the same exact mold — it had the three trees, the platform…everything. Even the swinging rock and the capture net. The only real difference was the addition of plastic foliage to the formerly bare trees, but in some ways, that was an improvement to an already perfect toy.

I guess what I’m getting at is, I wish I held anything besides apathy for Robin Hood in the early ’90s, because this was an awesome revival. Click here to download the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves Kenner toy commercial, starring a few nobodies and an Ewok Village in new clothes.

EDIT: Invader Norbert’s comment turns this into a survey: Name a movie or two that never got its own toy line, but should’ve. And what would the toys be?


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 130 comments

Maybe Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. Minifigs of the kids, with a giant LEGO block, giant ant, and giant cookie.

And a deluxe set with Rick Moranis swinging off the clothes-line.

Ghosted by Daniel85 @ 08/14/2006 9:05 PM EDT

the show that needs it’s own line of toys is Count Duckula.

Please Hasbro lets make this happen! Matt you have connections at Nick, can you fire off an email?

First time poster, hooray!

Ghosted by G$ @ 08/14/2006 9:09 PM EDT

I’m going to say Robot Jox. It came from the right era (91ish) for toy tie-ins, with Transformers fading. I mean, they could come with interchangable parts like the Medabot toys & models; you could have the big black bot with 2 legs or 4, different weapons, different modes (suck ass roller legs). It would have been sweet.

Ghosted by Ronald MacKinnon @ 08/14/2006 9:16 PM EDT

No one will probably see this, since it’s almost 10:00 eastern on Monday when I post. This was still an awesome thread though. I really wish I’d gotten in on it sooner. Damn my workplace for not having internet!

Ronald, the Robot Jox toys would have kicked total ass. I would see them more like Robotix than Medabots though.

Personally, I think a "Gladiator" toy line would have rocked if they’d done it in 6" size. All the guys could have had removable armor and blood & guts spewing gimmicks.

I also think Reign of Fire would have made cool 3 3/4" toys. Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale would have made excellent action figures. A castle/farm playset would be neat. The helicopter with the "Angels" would have been a badass vechicle (can you say parchuting action?). Van Zan’s tank would have to have a firing gun. And the dragons would need to be articulated puppets like the insect puppets Matt recently reviewed.

Ghosted by spaz307 @ 08/14/2006 9:50 PM EDT

Deuce: I second the deliverence idea, but only if they have "squeal like a piggy" action.

I’d love action figures based on the classic anime Bubblegum Crisis!

They’d have to be based on the 80s version (not the "2040" remake) and be anatomically correct with removable armor.

Ghosted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 08/14/2006 10:18 PM EDT

Allow me to indulge myself with an imaginary toyline for my favorite movie of all time: Return To Oz.

Low price point-
DOROTHY GALE with heel-clicking action: pull the lever on her back, her heels click together and an LED under her dress makes them briefly flash. Comes with Toto and a child-sized replica of the key from the movie.

JACK PUMPKINHEAD with Billina: press the lever on the back of his head, and Billina’s head will poke out of one of his eyes for the giving of advice. Features detachable arms, legs, and head, and comes with Jack’s ornament form and an egg that fits into his head too.

TIK-TOK with Battling Action: Press the lever under his belt, and his torso spins wildly for fighting action! Comes with Dorothy’s lunch pail as a weapon, and his medal ornament form.

WHEELER with Wheeling Action: Push down on his body and he rolls forward with spring-loaded action! Comes with removable helmet and sneering Nome rock.

High price point-

PRINCESS MOMBI: A full 12 inch fashion doll with three different outfits and three different heads: #22, #4, and #31– her original and cruelest head. Comes with a mirror with a holographic Ozma trapped inside.

THE GUMP: Half character and half vehicle, the Gump can be reassembled into three different forms. His flying mode features flapping palm-leaf wings, his walking mode can crawl forward on sofa-legs, and his detachable Gump head can look around and move its mouth. Powered by two AAA batteries in the walking couch.

THE NOME KING: The cold-hearted king of the underworld has two different modes. His almost-human mode has gleaming ruby slippers and light-up eyes, and a pipe he can throw. Turn his soft rubber body inside out to see his Nome form, a looming stone face that you can puppet like a Boglin!

Playsets-

THE RUINED EMERALD CITY: A replica of the ‘town square’ where Tik-Tok’s fight with the Wheelers took place. Features stone statues of the Tin Woodsman and the Cowardly Lion– but place them on the light-up base and watch them come back to life! (Translucent plastic glows through the stone-texture paint!) Also features a breakway wall that says "Beware The Wheelers," and two sneering Nome rocks.

THE HALL OF HEADS: Here in the Hall of Heads, you look through the keyhole and see all of Mombi’s thirty heads, except for the three she came with! Push the levers on the side and all the heads will look around, open and close their mouths, or scream together!

THE ORNAMENT ROOM: All of the ornaments that come with the small figures would have pedestals for display here: when Dorothy removes the ornament from the pedestal, it triggers a spring-loaded trap door to drop that character’s figure on the floor! Also features a breakway floor that splits in half, and walls with bendable Nome guards.

These are a dream in and of themselves, but the Oz books themselves so lend themselves to a toyline; it’s like a turn-of-the-century version of Masters of the Universe. Come on, HasKen, let’s see some literary toys!

Ghosted by G'Tron @ 08/14/2006 10:56 PM EDT

My pick- aside from all the ones listed: COBRA! Tiny Joe scale Stallone with his awesome car and scuzzy apartment playest. Oh yeah!! (Glances at watch). Two hours, Caracappa. Two hours…you’ve got some Monday left. Hit me with some Kool-Aid. Or old commercials. Or, best of all- a Knacks and Kuse update!

Ghosted by Terror Claws Cole @ 08/14/2006 11:15 PM EDT

I don’t know if anyone said this yet but I think Underworld should’ve gotten a toyline. I mean vampires and werewolves, come on! :)

Ghosted by Todd @ 08/14/2006 11:25 PM EDT

Fifth Element.
Last Unicorn.
Rock & Rule.
Rollerball.
Omega man.
G.L.O.W. – Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.

Ghosted by G-Dog @ 08/14/2006 11:31 PM EDT

My unproduced toy line would have to be "The Fugitive." Think about it: Dr. Richard Kimble would be easy; just use an old Han mold. Tommy Lee Jones would need extra-accurate facial weathering, but at least I could stop using my MIB figures to re-enact the initial search (the "…every farmhouse, hen house, and outhouse" line just doesn’t sound right coming from Agent K. And imagine the possibilities of The One-Armed Man; I’m envisioning something akin to Trap-Jaw and his interchangable weaponry.

Well, I’ll start saving up for the "Sewer Tunnel High Dive Playset" now.

Ghosted by Thorzul @ 08/14/2006 11:34 PM EDT

I’m late.
The freaky clown from the movie It.

Ghosted by kb @ 08/14/2006 11:48 PM EDT

Josie and the Pussycats of course.

Josie, Mel, Val, Fiona, Wyatt, Alan M, Alexander and Alexandra, Du Jour. And we could have the Pussycat’s Van and Du Jour’s jet with quick-change merchandising-wall action. And we could have a Virgin MegaStore playset. Fiona’s Underground Lair, and a Studio with the MegaSound 8000!!

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/14/2006 11:51 PM EDT

I did see an Eek the cat plush once before at a TRU back in the day. Except he was pink and came with a cryptic tag that said something like "Please treat me gently. I’m fragile…"

Also Gummi Bears did have a toyline, I had one of the figures.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 08/14/2006 11:57 PM EDT

Mst3k: Basically it’d just be the bots (Crow, Gypsy, Tom Servo) rather than Joel or Mike cos to me that’d seem awkward

Ghosted by Jenny @ 08/15/2006 12:37 PM EDT

Others

more Monty python figures!

a few years ago, they had those Holy grail dolls n stuff, why not ones of a lumberjack or something

Kingklash: I fucking love your Ramones idea. A few years back, there was a cartoonish Joey Ramone figure, but it was goofy..

How about a Tek Jansen figure and Stephen Colbert double pack thingy?!

hehehehe.. my brain’s a buzz..

A Tim Burton and Danny Elfman figure would rock too

Ghosted by Jenny @ 08/15/2006 12:40 PM EDT

In response to Invader Norbert, I think an unlikely (but possibly very appealing) possibilty would be Married With Children. Figures would include all of the Bundys, Buck the Dog, Steve, Marcy, and Jefferson. The Bundy living room/kitchen would be an obvious choice for a playset. For vehicles, there’s Al’s Old Dodge and Steve’s Mercedes (from the early episodes). How about Rosanne? Sitcoms have a common feature that makes them potential fodder for action figures: they tend to have a certain location where characters appear at least once in every episode, be it Central Perk from Friends, the Warsaw Tavern from the Drew Carey Show, or the back yard fence from King of the Hill. With that in mind, any sitcom to become a toy line would have automatic candidates for a playset. Before reading this blog entry, I had the idea for an action figure for Charles Evans Hughes (he was the Republican presidential candidate in 1916; he lost), largely because I thought the name sounded exciting and he made an interesting pose in a textbook photo. There could be an entire collection of action figures based on presidents from each of the main political parties from the 19th and 20th centuries. There could be a White House playset.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 08/15/2006 12:46 PM EDT

I love the idea of

Robot jox
Josie and the Pussycats
and best of all

3 3/4" Reign of Fire toys

Ghosted by Mrjayberry @ 08/15/2006 12:47 PM EDT

-Road House needed figures. Or some real people you could purchase, just so you could beat the poo out ‘em and toss them out of places.
-Bio-Dome needed figures as well. Complete with the Bio-Dome playset, Cobra Command Center-style!
-Joe Dirt should have gotten figures as well….for all the hillbillies around the globe.

Ghosted by Dino @ 08/15/2006 4:37 AM EDT

I had several of those Robin Hood figures and still do (although sadly, I’ve lost track of the Morgan Freeman figure). I’ve always thought Kenner’s Little John makes an excellent stand-in for Jesus despite sharing a body with Hawkman.

As for movies that need toys, I say Clerks. Those crappy non-poseable cartoon ones don’t cut it. I want fully-articulated versions of Dante, Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, Caitlyn Bree, and Veronica with Quick Stop and RST Video playsets thrown in for good measure. Make an Annoying Customers subset for the clerks to do battle with, and let the fun and witty repartee commence.

Ghosted by Kaga @ 08/15/2006 12:34 PM EDT

has no one thought of it yet?
surely, its on the hearts and tongues of all of america…
what we really want is breakfast cereal!!!
Cap’n Crunch with ship…
Sogmaster, nefarious crunch bastard!
Tony fuckin tiger and lucky the leprcahun…
frooty yummy mummy!

you see how brilliant that would be as a toy line!!!!

Ghosted by sir douchebag @ 08/15/2006 2:33 PM EDT

Responding to Paul’s comments from yesterday:

Earlier this year, Robin Hood: Men in Tights was released on DVD. The catch was, it was only available in the Mel Brooks Collection box set that cost $100 MSRP (better price with a discount). However…

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000G6BLW4/sr=1-4/qid=1155670652/ref=sr_1_4/104-4348434-4030306?ie=UTF8&s=dvd

It’s coming to DVD separately for $15 MSRP (so around $10 elsewhere) on September 5th!
————————
And major props to the prospects of toy lines for Fight Club (Bitch Tits Bob with hugging action, anyone?) and especially Darkman (CRIMINALLY underrated flick, by the way).

As for unreleased toy lines?

I think a RoboCop line based on the first movie and NOT the "Ultra Police" version Kenner did in the late 80’s. I’m talking the original, 1987 Verhoeven movie, with:

-RoboCop (with Auto-9 Beretta, removable helmet, and pop-up double-edged dagger apparatus)
-Anne Lewis (with guard-shield helmet and that ultra-badass rocket launcher at the end of the movie, the Cobra Assault Cannon)
-Clarence Boddicker (with shotgun and handgun)
-Dick Jones (with Desert Eagle and ED-209 remote control)

Vehicles/Accessories:
-ED-209
-RoboCop Squad Car
-Steel Mill Playset (with scaffolds, rundown landscape, and toxic-waste barrels)
-OCP Boardroom Deluxe Playset (with Delta City architectual model, ED-209 figure, and boardroom table)

Mail-Away:
-Bixby Snyder talking figure (all he says is "I’d buy that for a dollar!")

Expansion Packs:
-Battle-Damaged RoboCop (same as RoboCop figure but with "damaged" look)
-Alex Murphy (with handgun and removable combat helmet)
-Emil Antonowsky (with TEC-9 and interchangeable toxic waste melting action)

And how about some articulated Pulp Fiction figures for good measure? They made Reservoir Dogs and Kill Bill figures, why not Tarantino’s most famous movie? And of course, you could mail away for Head-Exploding Marvin.

And a closing note: if NECA keeps doing Cult Classics from movies, that’s awesome. I love their designs (don’t own any though). But you know what I want? Cult TV Classics. And I have the first series that they should do…

-Jack Bauer (24) with handgun, GPS tracker/cell phone, bulletproof vest, and small knife)
-FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper (Twin Peaks) with handgun, coffee mug, tape recorder, and a box of jelly donuts)
-George Oscar "Gob" Bluth II (Arrested Development) with articulating deck of cards, really big hunting knife, Segway, and, oh yes, a CD with "The Final Countdown" by Europe on it)
-Cordell Walker (Walker: Texas Ranger) with removeable cowboy hat, handgun, and roundhouse kick action)

Also available are 18" talking figures for Gob and Dale Cooper (Bauer would be cool, but the former two are far more quotable…I’d KILL for Cooper to say "Damn fine cup of coffee!" and Gob to do the chicken-dance chant). A Seinfeld "Fab Four" 4-pack with Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer figures will also be available.

For their regular series, these are some characters they should consider for the regular Cult Classics series:

-Otto Maddox (Repo Man)
-The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
-Frank-N-Furter (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)
-MacManus Brothers (The Boondock Saints)
-Leon (Leon: The Professional)
-Dirk Diggler (Boogie Nights)
-David (The Lost Boys)
-Frank the Tank (Old School)
-Frank Booth (Blue Velvet)
-Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)

Ghosted by Michael Flynn @ 08/15/2006 4:33 PM EDT

The Manimal:
There was a Gummi Bears non plush toy line. In fact I still have some of the toys myself. I think it was Wendy’s that gave them out. :)

Ghosted by Alyssa @ 08/15/2006 4:33 PM EDT

Has anyone said Goonies in answer to the survey question? I didn’t read all the blogs but the I think the Goonies REALLY should have had a line of action figures-LOL :)

Ghosted by Casper @ 08/15/2006 4:41 PM EDT

The Fifth Element–Battle Damage Taxi.

I loved that movie and I never saw anything that even remotely resembled a toy for it, though it lends itself well. (plus, though it’s more of a prop than a toy, you could get your own Multipass with a space to paste your own photo on it…*grin*)

Ghosted by squirrel-chan @ 08/15/2006 10:17 PM EDT

Was there ever a Dark Crystal playset/action figures? If not, there should be.

Ghosted by Ceeg @ 08/16/2006 2:36 AM EDT

Oh, the mentions of Gummi Bears reminds me that I would enter a lion cage wearing a wildebeest suit for a Duke Igthorn action figure with Kickable Toadie and a working catapult. Boss.
Also, back in ‘93 or so there was one of the most un-PC cartoons I’ve seen here in Sweden. Some kids looking at skeleton-like plastic figures on their table at the hamburger joint, with the caption:
"The Happy Meal toys from Schindler’s List weren’t as fun as the ones from Jurassic Park."
Tasteless, but wouldn’t you have mud-wrestled a circus dwarf just to see McDonald’s marketing them?

BTW, there never were any "Home on the Range" happy meals, right? Why was that, pray tell?

Ghosted by Videot @ 08/16/2006 8:30 PM EDT

Last night I was watching much maligned (possibly with good reason) Ray Liotta film "No Escape" and all the way through it my thoughts kept coming back to this question of toys that should’ve been and how amazing No Escape toys would’ve been… i mean two of the characters (the one played by Lance "Bishop" Henriksen and Ernie "Winston" Hudson) surely already have molds out there somewhere?… and some of the playsets they could’ve made!!! the village playset would’ve been great with lifts,etc… it all would have been amazing… but alas… who the hell would make these toys just for me? I should add here that I am now absolutely desperate for No Escape toys almost as much as a Photog

Ghosted by plaintoyplaying @ 08/17/2006 1:00 PM EDT

Well, it did get a mega-crappy toy line, but it deserved much better: The Karate Kid. Tjose dolls were a little too Barbie-like for my action figure not a doll masculinity obsessed six-year-old self. The dojo playset was kinda cool, but I mostly used it with me GI Joes and Marvel Super-Heroes Secret Wars toys. The Karate Kid guys were too oddly shaped to fit in with those other figures, and who wanted Sato anyway? Oh, and I second the need for Back to the Future toys.

First post here, by the way.

Ghosted by Rich @ 08/17/2006 7:47 PM EDT

HOOK was the best! I had all the figures that were available in the U.K (save tall-terror and skull-armour Captain Hook) but unfortunately battle-swing ang food-fighting(best figure of them all!) Peter Pan, as well as Smee, were never available over here.

Ghosted by Rupert Ducker @ 06/29/2007 12:28 PM EDT

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