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August Megaparty #7: Pepsi Jazz!

Every time a new soda flavor hits the shelves, I consider dancing. I love new soda, and the past few years have been an excellent time to love soda. The big companies are constantly competing with one another to be the first, or the best, or the biggest. In some cases, a company will force its own brands to compete against each other, because soda companies are stark raving lunatics. It's a fact, and it's a fact so alarming, I bet you just screamed "NO WAY" and busted a capillary. One of your eyes totally looks like shit now.

Joining the "MAKE EVERYTHING TASTE LIKE FRUIT AND CREAM" bandwagon a little late, Pepsi Strikes Back with its new "Pepsi Jazz" series -- zero calorie soft drinks that promise to take what was once Diet Pepsi and transform it into Diet Pepsi with a sugar-free candy aftertaste. They succeeded, and along the way, they got really fancy with the bottle labels.

Dr Pepper has found much success with its "Berries & Cream" spinoff; actually, it found enough success to start a few new trends in Sodaland. Aside from beginning a fruiting/creaming revolution across the entire soft drink landscape, Dr Pepper also introduced us to the patented Outrageous Can. Check my old review for proof. With anything-but-typical flesh-colored cans, Dr Pepper's goldendaughter forced even the people who hated the idea of a berry/cream soda to try it out. Pepsi Jazz goes the same route, invoking thoughts of Mardi Gras and upscale bakeries with the gaudy, colorful and reflective labels seen above.

The new drinks dare you to "indulge your senses," and the whole marketing campaign seems eerily similar to that shitty string of commercials where two idiot women in Capri pants fancy yogurt as being "full service gas at self service prices good," or "man who cleans his fingernails good." Okay, whatever, I'm fine with sodas having identities. But the "Jazz" name...that I'm not so sure of. It just sounds like something that cannot possibly last on store shelves longer than a month in a half. If you think about it, it'd be a lot more interesting for Pepsi to introduce "Pepsi Jazz" and see it fail without a moment's hope, because so many people would have the opportunity to boast about how they knew something called "Pepsi Jazz" would flop like a fish on a tin roof.

As for the taste, well, it's nothing I'm starting a fan club over, but I wasn't offended to the point where I'd locate any Pepsi Jazz fan club treehouses just to burn them down out of spite. I feel like I've tasted plenty better on the French Vanilla side, but "Strawberries & Cream" at least has the distinction of a unique taste. I also kind of dig it because Pepsi briefly had a strawberry flavor in the early '90s; this tastes nowhere near as good as that stuff did, but getting the loose simile is akin to fucking the hot girl's homely sister. Attraction by association or some shit. I dunno.

Posted by Matt on 08/07/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 112 comments

Bleck, Crystal Pepsi was freaking horrible! My parents kept buying it, and it always had this awful aftertaste like you just licked the rusty bolts holding down a public toilet.

Pepsi Kona was pretty good, but generally I’m a Coke girl, fo’ realz.

Bring back chocolate Faygo.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 08/07/2006 11:10 PM

Saw 12′ers of both in the store, but couldn’t get past the diet label. I might try the strawberry though.
I do miss Vanilla Coke…The Black Cherry Vanilla is okay but it doesn’t mix as well. The Pepper Berries and Cream gets yucky quick, at least for me but the cans do help get past it.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/07/2006 11:13 PM

Pitch Black has become one of my favorite things about Halloween. I’ll be crushed if it doesn’t return, but they totally goofed on the marketing with Round 2, trying to take it away from its spooky roots and making it more of a HERE YA GO FRAT BOY, BRING DIS TO YAR LAN PARTIES deal. Ugh.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 08/07/2006 11:17 PM

Oh, and LuLu,

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 08/07/2006 11:18 PM

I miss Vanilla Coke SO much. I would have a cold glass of it without ice, it was almost like a dessert. Damn you, Coke!

Chestnuts roasted by Julie @ 08/07/2006 11:19 PM

I tried both Jazz flavors in the 20oz bottles that were on sale. I have yet to see the commercial or any other way to drink it until Matt’s pic of the liters. They were ok, but I prefer the lime/vanilla varieties better. I’m also surprised they didn’t make a regular version.

I certainly hope there is a Pitch Black 3 this year. That was awesome. I also miss Pepsi Spice.

Tried Coke Blak this weekend. Worst thing I’ve ever tasted, but then again I’m not a coffee drinker.

I wonder what the next "wild" soda flavor will be next. My prediction: chocolate. Yoo-Hoo has dominated the chocolate drink market for to long.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 08/07/2006 11:24 PM

Dear God I miss OK Soda. Everything about it was awesome. Was I a victim of a corporate think tank? You bectha. But at least said think tank allowed me the ability to dial an 800 number (1-800-I feel ok) to hear the thoughts of stuffed animals. A stuffed bear might think "Boy I sure like being fuzzy." A Stuffed dog might think "Bow wow….bow…wow" Classic :)

Chestnuts roasted by Ed @ 08/07/2006 11:25 PM

Manimal, Vanilla Coke was the only coke product I actually LOVED, so yes, too early a rest for so valiant a warrior.

At least Ryane had the decency to mention Dew. I’m not an EXTREME!!! sports guy, but I am a grad student who writes all his papers the night before. And I agree, Pitch Black II had better poke its beautiful sour head out of the coffin again this year.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/07/2006 11:26 PM

Yeah, the first time around, for Pitch Black was much better marketing wise… Had all the Good People of America thinking it was Demon Blood or something. :D

But, I could drink PB II for all eternity. The first one didn’t do much for me. I, too, will be crushed if they let it fade away. :’(

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 08/07/2006 11:31 PM

HEY! I drink out of a POM tea jar/glass too!

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 08/07/2006 11:43 PM

I’m all for sweet new sodas, but Holiday Spice was made of TeH 3vil. I kept a 2 liter in my fridge to lure unsuspecting people into tasting it, at which point they would hate me.

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 08/07/2006 11:55 PM

I sorta like the ‘Jazz’ name…it’s all exciting, but it also sounds a tiny bit tacky, maybe? And I’m not sure that I think ‘Jazz’ when I think strawberries and cream; much too spunky. But then again, I haven’t tasted it; maybe it is all happy-and-spunky tasting. On another note, I love the Dr. Pepper Berries and Cream to death; it rocks my socks.

But right now, I’m just drinking a diet normal Dr. Pepper/diet Sprite mix. It is goood.

X-E every day?? Too good to be true!

Chestnuts roasted by razzkat @ 08/08/2006 12:03 PM

Black Cherry French Vanilla tastes more like bubble gum then anything resembling cherry or vanilla.

Diet Pepsi flavors never work out well. Though I’ve found DP with a little peach schnapps tastes pretty good

Chestnuts roasted by emperor_zorak @ 08/08/2006 12:16 PM

The "snazzy" label of Jazz caught my eye last week sometime. I picked up a 20oz. bottle and was pretty disappointed. The after taste killed me.

I totally miss OK soda…OK and Surge are two of my favorites ever.

Chestnuts roasted by MissJess @ 08/08/2006 12:41 PM

Oh my god. Surge had to be one of the top five best Coca-Cola releases EVER. I still see it occasionally in seedy gas station soda fountains. Don’t trust ‘em.

Chestnuts roasted by ColonelCatsup @ 08/08/2006 12:51 PM

I love the Strawberries and Cream Jazz. Although, the name was so silly it almost turned me off. I too crave new and exciting soda flavors.
I miss Holiday Spice as well. I wish they had it in Diet so I wouldn’t get all shaky after drinkin it though!
Good shaky fun!

Chestnuts roasted by Fristine @ 08/08/2006 12:52 PM

The Manimal, I live in Eastern Europe, and Pepsi Twist is still going strong.
OTOH, we don’t have that many new sodas introduced here- this summer’s hit is Clear Lemonade Shweppes (that’s too sweet for my taste). The only drink that seems to constantly be getting new tastes is Fanta, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Papa Taz @ 08/08/2006 1:17 AM

The only special flavor from Pepsi I’ve ever liked was Crystal. Blue and Holiday Spice both I spat out; Lemon and Lime were tollerable, but that’s not to say I cared for them. I’ll have to give these two a shot and see what they’re like…I expect BC/FV to be much like Black Cerry Vanilla Coke, which I didn’t care for either.

One last thing: Why are all the new flavors anymore Diet?

Chestnuts roasted by Ragnarok @ 08/08/2006 1:19 AM

I hate Dr. Pepper, and I hate all colas, with the exception of Diet Pepsi, and then it has to be consumed with pizza. I do really miss pepsi blue though. My allowance in middle school mostly went to getting a bottle of that stuff from the soda machine in the courtyard on the rare occasions that it worked.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazzard @ 08/08/2006 1:36 AM

Here’s another good survey: What foods go with certain sodas/pops with you?

Me, I’ll say that Vault, although addictively declicious on its own, seems to taste great with Coleslaw. And I’m the kind of person that eats it with burgers, as both a side and a topping.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/08/2006 1:54 AM

For me, and I’m faced with a KFC biscuit, Dr Pepper all the way. Moutain Dew for Mexican.

Chestnuts roasted by ColonelCatsup @ 08/08/2006 1:58 AM

Dew and Pizza. Pepsi and Chinese

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/08/2006 2:25 AM

When you think about the fact that 99.9% of these gimmicky and crazy-flavored sodas die within two years, you wonder why the companies keep bothering. To alleviate boredom maybe?

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/08/2006 3:06 AM

Why must all these fancy new flavors be diet?! I am horribly allergic to aspartame!

I do approve of the drinking from the Pom tea jars though. One of mine is filled with my D&D dice and the other is sitting next to me holding my cherry 7Up (which needs to be more easily available).

Chestnuts roasted by Gadget @ 08/08/2006 3:12 AM

I didn’t realize there was a strawberry and cream one. I enjoy strawberry soda from safeway, It’s great if you make an ice cream float out of it. And I am also a sucker for new food products, which probably is bad because that means there is a burst of cost for them and then they find out if it’s a good product or not after a couple of months.

And like other people have said, you can get a knockoff of pepsi blue in safeway select form. I don’t remember what it’s called but it has the word berry in it. I didn’t like it at first, too artifical, but I like it now. On wednesday (payday, I get paid weekly direct deposit sweet) I might get some. Also that is my day off. So I get to sleep in and then go grocery shopping for the week!! Sweet!! I actually enjoy grocery shopping now because I can get pretty much whatever I want. I might have to beg to go to target.

But being poor for so long (I started working at a decent job a month ago) I would splurge on the damage goods section of safeway. A half mangled box of cereal for a dollar! right on!! But the only way to take advantage of the deals is to go on a regular basis and always have enough money to spend on them. There is a store called the grocery outlet (their logo is a rainbow, no joke) and I love it there even though it’s not convienent to go. I love getting frozen food there it’s awesomely cheap! Goodwill also is like that. But if I feel bad about being so cheap I remind myself the reason why millioniares have all of that money is because they get the best deals and they are sickingly cheap. I mean, the richer someone is the cheaper they are.

I hope this didn’t rollover from other thread too much.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 08/08/2006 3:26 AM

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This entry was posted on Monday, August 7th, 2006 at 9:47 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.