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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

August Megaparty #5: Halloween M&M’s!

I admit it: You had no chance of guessing what was in yesterday's mystery picture. BDBull came the closest: "Looks like someone forgot to write an entry." Touche and ouch, motherfucka. Actually, the picture was a failed attempt to snap proof of my local grocer's ability to start celebrating Halloween in early August. There was a whole spread of Halloween candy -- and not just bags of fun-sized candy bars, mind you...REAL Halloween candy -- in the center of the store, and all this week, I've been seeing other stores and establishments following suit. It's exciting in some ways, but as a person who buys Halloween things and writes about them, it kind of sucks to have to judge whether to buy-and-hoard or buy-and-write-now. Especially because I'm already finding good stuff.

Reason for the mystery picture's mysteriousness: After many years of fine service, my cell phone's camera now only takes pictures that look like a surveillance screen on a busted Russian sub. Oh well, I needed a new phone anyway. I'll buy a Razr, add some tufts of faux brown fur onto the case and puppet it around town to ask other phones where Tokka is.

I know there are a few people who hate the site in October due to a lack of affection for Halloween, but for the most part, we're all holiday junkies here. But, while it's awesome to see pumpkins and ghouls alongside inflatable pools and sunglasses, it's definitely too early for this. By the time October rolls around, everything in stores will seem old hat, and by the time mid October rolls around, everything in stores will look like Santa Claus. At least, that's my theory based on doing the Halloween Countdown for all these years. By the time the calendar smacks 10/20, it feels like store chains are totally about Christmas and totally over Halloween. It sucks, because we the public look to store chains for direction in our life. It's hard to celebrate a holiday when they're already celebrating the next holiday.

On the other hand, I'm really stoked to have orange and black M&M's with little pumpkin faces on them. In August. Especially when they're peanut butter M&M's, and especially when they're peanut butter M&M's that come in bags featuring M&M's dressed as Dracula.

A Few Spooky X-E Articles:
Grinch Night - Texas Chainsatari Massacre - Hallo Decorations, 2002

This is your Saturday Night Thread.

Posted by Matt on 08/05/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 81 comments

I work in one of those big-ass chain stores….and we had the school supplies out in mid June. Mid June!!!

Will someone please, think of the children….

Chestnuts roasted by Yorissa @ 08/05/2006 12:58 PM


Hooray for Halloween!

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 08/05/2006 12:58 PM


Man, I a-wantmesommademM&M’s!
It is too early for Halloween.
It makes it less special when they start over two months ahead of time.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 08/05/2006 12:58 PM


I need a new phone myself, Matt. I gues I’ll be getting the Tokka phone to give yours a mission.

And I picked up a bag of those new Icy Burst Starbursts. My review: They’re GOOD…not to mention addicting and the ability to actually cool off your mouth.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/05/2006 1:06 PM


Has anyone already figured out what they’re Halloween costume is going to be this year!?

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 08/05/2006 1:09 PM


OH FUCK. This is frigg’n nuts! I can’t believe that right now America has Monster House and Halloween candy. I’ve been in the stupid UK for 6 weeks and will be killing myself every hour, on the hour, until I’m able to come back to the States next week. Life sucks

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 08/05/2006 1:18 PM


New poll: why does it hurt when I pee?

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 08/05/2006 1:34 PM


Speaking of Halloween-related things,next summer Benicio DelToro is taking the role of The Wolf Man.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 08/05/2006 1:38 PM


I love Halloween. That and Christmas are really when XE pulls out all the stops!

Chestnuts roasted by Crassmonkey @ 08/05/2006 1:45 PM


So, I know this is the place for good laughs, funny stories and all around cheer, but sometimes, you need an outlet.

So my girlfriend of 3 years and I broke up. She was younger. I’m a male and as such, we say and do stupid things. I didn’t cheat, I was just a typical selfish male. So, she wasn’t happy, she hadn’t been in a while, I’m just not the person she needs me to be. don’t know why. Wish I was. Best she be happy with someone else than miserable with me. It sucks, but you can’t make people do what they don’t want to and she’s too young to be living in such an unhappy relationship. So now, I’ve lost a good friend, that I’ve known for 8 years and dated for 3. So it’s like a double donkey punch to the back of the head.

As a male, a Latin male in particular, I’m not allowed to cry, as much as I’d like to, my pride gets in the way, and I’d probably anger my ancestors. So here I am, wanting to get it out, but I can’t, other than writing this stupid entry and spreading my misery to everyone else and not really knowing where I’m going with it.

God, I could use some cheering up right about now.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 08/05/2006 1:47 PM


"I know there are a few people who hate the site in October due to a lack of affection for Halloween, but for the most part, we’re all holiday junkies here."
Definitely a holiday junkie, but there are plenty of things that I never would have aquired affection for if not for site featurage (tiny jars of slime spring to mind first)…What I’m trying to say is screw the naysayers, maybe they’ll even come around someday.
I get great joy from my TrĂȘo 650, but it is decidedly unsexy compared to the Razr.
Giant Squid: Caught on Camera on Discovery tonight! Any Project Runway fans catch the "I’m a squid without an ocean" monologue this week? Gotta get that on a T-shirt.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/05/2006 1:56 PM


Darth Galvatron made me cry

Chestnuts roasted by bren @ 08/05/2006 2:13 PM


Darth Galv, I don’t have much in the way of wise, comforting words, but I know that this place and these people have been an amazing support group for me through various trials and tribulations. The breakup of a long-term relationship is so fucking hard, I know, it’s so painful and it clouds your vision so completely that you can’t see anything beyond the fact that the thing that has been constant in your life for so many years is just suddenly dead…and even if the breakup was a long time coming and you know it has to be, it’s still sudden. Lord, I’m having flashbacks. Hang in, it will probably get worse before it gets better, unfortunately, but they say time heals all. Good luck :)

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/05/2006 2:14 PM


Eddie Lightning Frog, sorry to hear you’re stuck in the UK. I live here ALL THE TIME, and it doesn’t get much better I’m afraid. When you go back to the US, can I come too?

Only thing is I eat a lot and I stink of piss. Hope that’s okay.

Chestnuts roasted by Baz @ 08/05/2006 2:16 PM


More Halloween, less piss, please.
I like Halloween. It’s fun to dress up, hand out the candy and see displays of pumpkins and such. But I LOVE Thanksgiving and Christmas, mostly Christmas. And really only Thanksgiving ’cause it makes me feel OK about having the Christmas stuff already on display. However, I too, am enjoying Halloween more now that there’s gonna be a month long celebration involving candy and goopy stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/05/2006 2:55 PM


Halloween M and M’s rock, Halloween with peanut butter is a match made in heaven.

My friend complains all the time about his mouth being hot so I’ll buy him some icy burst starbursts.

Darth Galvatron I’ve never had to deal with a major breakup but I’ve had really good friends have to move before and they up and left without a relationship afterwards. I know that’s not the same. I am a lesbian, so I couldn’t say if I knew ya I would sleep with ya but maybe somebody could say that to cheer you up :) Have a fest of doing shit she used to hate! Like umm, leaving the towel on the bathroom floor and eating a few bites of ice cream straight out of the carton and then putting it back!! Yeah that would cheer me up. Enjoy being single with all of that Latin love flowing through you. I hope that helps.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 08/05/2006 2:58 PM


New poll: why does it hurt when I pee?

You’re trying too hard or not hard enough.

Also, I’m the one with the lack of affection for halloween, no one else needs to take the blame.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 08/05/2006 3:11 PM


I’ve done nothing but think about Halloween all week. I eat, sleep, and breathe candy corn and orange trash bags full of leaves printed with jack-o-lantern faces. Or I would if I could. You’re not supposed to eat bags, they’re a choking hazard. I’ve also been sending really stupid emails with lines like "It’s only 3 months till Halloween, do you know where your ghouls are?!?!" And while I support myself being excited about Halloween early, I don’t think I like the idea of stores putting their stuff out in August. For the peanut butter m&m’s though, I could maybe make an exception.

squee – I caught the project runway squid without an ocean thing. Easily my favorite part of the episode.
Darth Galvatron – Sorry to hear about that, and sorry I can’t really say anything useful except that I hope it gets better soon. If Halloween’s arrival in August cheers you up at all, I’m willing to forget what I said and support the idea.

Chestnuts roasted by dylan @ 08/05/2006 3:32 PM


My advice for gramsci.
You’re gripping it too hard, I bet. To paraphrase .38 Special, hold on loosely, but don’t let go. If you cling too tightly, you’re gonna lose control. Don’t forget to wash your hands afterward.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/05/2006 3:34 PM


I agree with Squee on this one, and consequently I keep checking behind me to see if horses are materializing out of thin air. The end must be nigh.

But seriously, you have to let it out, societal conventions of masculinity are bullshit. Cry, my brother, cry.

Dashboard Confessional albums are always helpful. And I find Sweet November to be fantastic.

As soon as you start feeling bitter reach for the Fall Out Boy albums, and I might add that the new Taking Back Sunday is PHENOMENAL.

Oh and Halloween rules all. I just bought a Guy Fawkes mask. Guess who I’m gonna be :)

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/05/2006 3:43 PM


Mistah Kurtz – he dead,
A penny for the Old Guy.

Even though I’m totally ready for Halloween, August is just too early. Summer sucks, but they’re diluting the specialness of mid-September – October by putting the goodies out now.

Darth – Be a man: cry it out. I’m sorry to hear about your break up, you must be upset and bewildered. Express it! You’ll feel validated, at the very least.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 08/05/2006 3:54 PM


I’m all about holiday stuff and all, but I feel if it comes out to early I get annoyed by it all and I just want the holiday to be over with. This is why I’m happy that I dont go shopping in department stores very often, I dont have to see all this stuff too early.

The other day I was in Zellers and I saw where the back to school stuff was and tt was empty, it made me wonder has everything already been bought out, or are they just starting to stock up? This is what happends when you dont go out, your out of the loop.

Darth G, I’m really sorry, breaking up and having to lose a friend too is really hard. I’ve done it and it’s not easy at all, you will get through it I promise. Yah, know what? Crying helps no matter if your a girl or a guy, so do it if you need to.

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 08/05/2006 4:08 PM


The only bad thing about this advanced Halloween, aside from it being entirely too damn early, is that by the time I get my ass out to even consider my costume, most everything has been picked through or damaged, with the lamest products the only things left on any shelf. But that’s my fault, I guess. I always wait till the last minute, or choose a costume that only requires me to buy a few choice things to later be combined with stuff I already have laying around.

Or one could just get some liquid latex and blood gel. You can do anything with liquid latex and blood gel.

Chestnuts roasted by ColonelCatsup @ 08/05/2006 4:24 PM


I say, there is something magical about going to Zern’s and finding both Luau AND Halloween decorations as well as tons of new pirate gear.

*digs through her bag of novelty candies and toys*

I would just like to say… I have Monster Balls.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 08/05/2006 4:26 PM


It’s still too damn early for me to start getting into Halloween. But come to think of it, I haven’t really been celebrating Halloween all that much. None of my friends do anything (in fact, most of us usually have to get up early for work the next morning). *sigh* Gone are the days of sprinting from door to door with your best of friends, scaring the shit out of little kids, and scoring shitloads of free candy. Now there ar eparties, but my friends don’t do them. I need new friends.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 08/05/2006 4:27 PM


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