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SNT & A Very Dirty Martini.

SNT.

EDIT: This past week, a company we work with took us out to dinner at some schmancy, above-us kind of place, so we all took the opportunity to order things we would never normally order. For me, it started with steak tartare, which was so ungodly good that I'll probably make the mistake of ordering it at a lesser establishment in the future and subsequently puke. As things progressed, I was introduced to dirty martinis. I'd never had a martini in my life, because I hate vodka, and because the devil mixes his lies in the truth and vermouth. As it was explained to my uncultured swine face, a "dirty" martini means they dump in some of the salty olive brine, and a "very dirty" martini means they dump enough salty olive brine in to make it almost impossible to detect any alcohol. As someone who will occasionally buy a jar of olives with thoughts of only drinking the juice, I was down with that. Very dirty martinis are my new sophisto drink of choice.

But I really suck at making them at home.

Posted by Matt on 07/29/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 79 comments

Thing that I did as a kid that I still feel bad about? Hmmm.

I guess I feel bad about every time that I lied to my parents. I know that’s not very specific, but I still remember times when I was caught. They looked so sad & disappointed, which was way worse than them being angry.

I still think of lies that I told that were not caught, and I feel bad about them. I think confessing them might make me feel better, but I just don’t think I can stand to see my parents disappointed in me.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 07/29/2006 9:06 PM

Knegative: I think you’re referring to "Army Gear."

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/29/2006 9:08 PM

I spent my afternoon having lunch with an old friend from elementary school. She hunted me down on MySpace. Was a good time.

Every blue moon, someone from my school days finds my website and sends an Email asking if I’m the same guy. I always enthusiastically respond and say "Hey, yeah, I remember you! Here’s what’s been going on in my life blah blah blah! What have you been up to? Let’s trade Emails some more!" And then….that’s it. They never respond back again.

This happens every time, and I don’t know what I do to scare them away.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 07/29/2006 9:47 PM

So, this is the TRUE no frills SNT.
Not to mention a topic that is relevant. Me and Mrs. Manimal are debating whether or not to do MySpace. There’s a part of me that wants to say "hey" but a bigger part that says, "Who cares?". Not to mention all of the potential stickyness involved with us both being teachers. Yeah, I know you can set the profile to private, etc.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/29/2006 9:57 PM

I am also looking forward to the August MegaParty! I’ve actually become really content with the infrequent posting. I CAN’T WAIT for the Halloween countdown. I know, I know, it’s only July…but I found a can of Jones Candy Corn soda in the back of my brother’s fridge today, so I’m all in the mood for Halloween stuff now.

Chestnuts roasted by LuLu @ 07/29/2006 10:04 PM

Oooh! I like that glass!

I can’t really think of anything from childhood that I feel bad about- maybe that time I dropped a softball on my best friend’s face. I was a pretty good kid.

I do not have a myspace, but I like to find people I went to high school with and have a laugh at their expense. I know… I’m ashamed. It’s just so fun to find out what they’re up to without getting involved. Most of the time I REALLY don’t want to be involved.

Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 07/29/2006 10:20 PM

Oh yeah. Martini’s have changed this into a FRILL-riffic SNT. :)

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/29/2006 10:26 PM

Ugh. The martini just changed this into a SPILL-riffic SNT for me. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/29/2006 10:27 PM

Maybe you need a sippy cup.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/29/2006 10:31 PM

That dirty martini sounds kind of nasty to me…but I don’t really like olive juice. Pickle juice, now that’s another story. But probably not with vodka.

I did a lot of stupid and mean stuff as a kid. I guess I kind of regret the time I stabbed that girl with a pencil in 3rd grade.

*crickets chirp*

Oh, who am I kidding? Bitch deserved it.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 07/29/2006 10:33 PM

Mystie: But what’s the point of drinking some disgusting alcoholic concoction if you don’t get to use a special glass?

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/29/2006 10:34 PM

I would like to share if you don’t know that disney is releasing GUMMI BEARS just like they did with Ducktales and Rescue Rangers. YESSSSSSSSS…

As for the childhood question: One time my sister was being her usual bitchy totally evil self. I went out the back door with my electric squirt gun and watered HELP on the sidewalk and yelled for her to come out. I left the gun there and went inside through the front door and went upstairs to play TMNT III. I played for a good 15 minutes completely forgetting about my ingenious ruse, when suddenly my sister burst in sobbing like crazy. She yelled at me and went away totally embarassed at having shown me she really did care if I were kidnapped. I felt a little shitty, but I was like 7 when I did that so I was glad I did it after a while. She got me back many, many… many more times after that.

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 07/29/2006 10:37 PM

I AM aware of the Gummis finally getting their due–but on the same day, nobody may be able to give them any money.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 07/29/2006 10:39 PM

Oh, oh, so you think you’re better than me because you’re using a "special glass" and I’m drinking my Diet Cherry Coke and rum out of a regular cup?

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/29/2006 10:39 PM

I don’t think I’m better than you, I just think that vodka sucksa.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/29/2006 10:41 PM

Has anyone tried the new Diet Pepsi Jazz? They were interesting, but kind of overpowering. The Strawberries and Cream was pretty good. I’ll drink the other flavor tomorrow.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/29/2006 10:41 PM

Man, go away for a couple of hours and the SNT turns into a boozefest…if only I weren’t at work.

*sigh*

Chestnuts roasted by Kyle @ 07/29/2006 10:45 PM

That martini is the most appalling mixed drink I’ve ever seen, and I require three of them immediately.

As for my dirty little secret? When I woke up on the morning of my sixth birthday, there was a train set running on the kitchen table. A nice train set, with all sorts of fiddly little trees and telephone poles and buildings all set into this enormous chunk of styrofoam landscape that looked to my six-year-old eyes to be at least two yards to a side, but which was probably half that. Anyway, I spent about a week running the little train around the track, in serious danger of becoming one of those Train Nerds (which would today be a respectable plume in my already impressive Nerd Hat) until my cousin came over to play. The same cousin, I might add, to whom I can trace each and every scar on my body. Long story short, we played with the train, we played with the Army helicopter with the pump handle that made the rotor blades spin in an exciting manner and little silver bombs that really detatched from the hardpoints…you can probably put the rest together yourself.

Anyway, after an exhilarating bombing campaign, during which we discovered that if you pressed one of the silver bombs really hard into the styrofoam at the base of one of the fiddly little trees or telephone poles, it would snap off and leave a crater just like a real bomb, the formerly idyllic countryside was a patchwork of felled trees, cratered earth, and disrupted train service. And then my mom came in, and made my cousin go home, and quietly explained to me that, despite the fact that it was late November and a dry year and therefore my dad had been spending about fourteen hours a day doing custom harvest work and repairing our crotchety old combine, he had stayed up most of the night before my birthday assembling the track and planting the little fiddly trees and putting the finishing touches on that splendid train set that was bought with money that we, in any real and concrete sense, did not have.

And so the bomb-riddled train set was thrown into the trash pit and my parents were studiously, quietly disappointed in me for several days, and nearly seventeen years later as I type this account, my cheeks are physically flushing with shame.

So there’s that.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/29/2006 10:50 PM

Jedoc: I could see myself doing that same thing If I were given a train set. There’s something about figuring out how something breaks that by the time you realize what’s happening, you’ve destroyed everything. Like with my Ninja Turtle Hockey Game thing. It was really big and expensive but once I realized the stickers came off as well as the actual hockeyed-out turtle characters, it was shit. And I don’t have a reason for doing it besides the fact that it all came apart.

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 07/29/2006 11:09 PM

I LOVE VODKA! Not the taste, just doing shots of those and nothing else but water is great for lack of hangovers. Matt- I think you should learn it’s wonders and sing it’s praises.
I also love myspace. I have found and been found by alot of people there that I wanted to find. I thought it’d be a freak fest which was why I held off so long on getting one. It seems to me that the people who like to "collect" friends are friends of only others who like to do that. It’s also a great boredom killer during slow work days.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/29/2006 11:15 PM

Try adding pickles.

Chestnuts roasted by Ronald MacKinnon @ 07/29/2006 11:21 PM

What about gin instead? Vodka is a bit of an evil bitch…but then gin is no sweetheart either. It has more sex appeal though (to painfully stretch the metaphor).
Ever since I gave up being a veg years ago I’ve loved rare meat and wanted to try tartare. I’ve only seen it on a few menus, and never trusted the place quite enough.
Looking forward to the Megaparty as well. In the meantime, there’s Shark Week starting tomorrow!
Safe trip and have fun! Happy Saturday all!

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/29/2006 11:23 PM

Screw Gummi Bears. When the hell is the epic known as TALE SPIN going to hit DVD?

Also, does anyone else thing "smut site" when they read the url for the new MIMP? (www.inmypocket.com)….Maybe it’s just me…

As for the Martinis…I really don’t like much in the way of Alchohal, except for Red wine and Port. You can thank the church for turning me on to Port. I’m serious…

Happy SNT!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/29/2006 11:50 PM

Dude, I would totally screw the gummi bears I love them so much. But before you get all bitchy, Talespin Vol. 1 comes out August 29th along with Darkwing Duck.

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 07/30/2006 12:00 PM

Thanks for the headsup Mattman. I didn’t know that the Gummi’s were coming out. See, this is the best thing about having a daughter, I can buy the GUMMI BEAR DVD without impunity.
P.S. If there be sippy cups ye be needing O’ Great One, I’ve got some nice Dora ones. You may have to cut back on the amount of olives though.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/30/2006 12:03 PM

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