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Clamato Tortilla Chips!

I know I've written at length at how appalled I was at the idea of Clamato in the past, but I think I've softened. When I visited Toronto last year, a few friends introduced me to the "Bloody Caesar," Canada's favorite cocktail, which takes the tomato juice out of the Bloody Mary and replaces it with Clamato. I'm not saying I've run out to buy gallons of the stuff since, but it's no longer to the point where I can't look at a bottle of it in fear of nausea. With that testimonial out the way, I'd like to formally introduce you to Clamato tortilla chips, followed by several exclamation points inside parenthesis.

They're honestly not bad. I detected no clam presence, with the chips feeling more like "tomato juice chips," so heavily salted that they could've very well been forged with snake broth and nobody would notice. I kind of wish they were gross because it'd make for a more interesting story, but I think the mere fact that Clamato has been realized as a tortilla chip is story enough. By the way, this is your Saturday Night Thread.

Posted by Matt on 07/22/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 59 comments

I went to a flea market today, and ended up buying the M.U.S.C.L.E. Nintendo game for four bucks. I enjoyed it, personally, but then I know all about the Japanese characters.
Kinnikuman, Ramen Man, Robin Mask, Buffalo Man, Wars Man, Geronimo, Terry Man, Ashura Man…Fuck yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by Der Super @ 07/22/2006 10:41 PM

I just started working at a call center for a prepaid phone company and it really sucks. I get several people a day telling me where to stick the phone. I also get people calling in with that really super annoying why is it doing it chirping of the fire alarm in the background. I should call loveline and tell them about that.

Most people from the south (apologies for people here that are from the south) always pay the minimium on their phone, and most of the bounced check issues are from people with a thick accent that are from alabama, arkansas, texas, etc.

A lot of the customers just don’t get the service on the phone and I have to take time out to explain. They don’t like the plan, they know how it works, they just don’t like it and want the plan the way they want it. THEY HATE GETTING TRANSFERED and CUSS at ME when that happens.

This guy said that he paid for the service and I looked and it said that he didn’t pay for shit and he said that he was going to take the phone company to small claims court because it was on his bank statement and get his money back. Welp, there is no way that he could of paid without me looking it up. This was my second call by myself I believe :)

Anyway I hope that was amusing and just not me ranting about my job. And the prinicpal of working in a cubical in a call center gets to me too cause I am a punk rebel type. Oh well 9 dollars an hour plus benefits is a good reason to give up your soul, right? heh…

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/22/2006 10:46 PM

I just want to say, this is my first time home for a SNT and sober while posting.

Chestnuts roasted by Gadget @ 07/22/2006 10:50 PM

Happy Saturday everybody… As a Canadain, I can strongly say that Clams and Tomatos were meant for each other.
I picked up the Friday the 13th box set tonight… I payed 80 bucks, and I’m feeling ripped off, (damn you Best Buy!) I’ve only seen the first two, anyone have any ideas at where I should begin?

Chestnuts roasted by Rich @ 07/22/2006 10:52 PM

Part III?? IT’S IN 3-D!!!

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/22/2006 10:54 PM

squee

Your story reminds me of another of mine, from about a year or so ago. Here’s the quick version:

1. Woman places order w/ husband’s credit card.
2. Card is denied, we call to get new CC#.
3. Husband calls back, furious that we would call and leave a message on the machine.
4. After much confusion, guy finally figures out who we are (children’s toy company).
5. Guy goes on to explain that he signed up for a porn website while the rest of his family was – swear to God – on vacation at Disney World, and thought that we were that website calling back.
6. I tell everyone I know, and we all laugh.

Working in a call center sucks. Luckily, I was recently promoted, mostly. During the week I’m in Operations, doing tech shit. On the weekends, however, I’m still stuck with the PM Supervisor shift, which means dealing with angry customers. And with Halloween and Christmas coming up, I’m already getting set for the madness. My empathy to those in this industry.

Chestnuts roasted by Kyle @ 07/22/2006 10:55 PM

Thanks Manimal. I was thinking that bit was from Dogma. I just caught a few minutes of Kevin Smith on The Henry Rollins Show…I listened carefully to see if Smith’s swearing seemed forced, but it didn’t bother me.
I feel the pain of no computer, Kyle. I have to avoid X-E at work due to the dodgy url, so I’m very thankful for my mobile phone. I wouldn’t defend Pam-like behavior IRL (Dawn from the UK version is even worse) but in the context of the story I find her sweet and sympathetic, nowhere near repulsive.
Don’t feel bad, Matt, we know how it goes. Though a new article this weekend would certainly be welcome.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/22/2006 10:56 PM

Clamato chips? What’s next, Clamato popsicles? Personally, I love drinking V8 juice.

Saw Clerks 2 today and it is just as funny as the first one. Rosario Dawson is hot in glasses. Although the donkey show scenes made me cringe.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/22/2006 10:57 PM

Welcome, Gadget.

And Rich, you’ve come to the right place. The price tag on the box set is a bit of a rip, because the extra features are so lacking. There’s so much trivia and interesting bits behind the production of each movie, it’s a real shame commentaries in the DVDs have been the exception to the norm.

I’ve become partial to Part 2, but Parts 3 & 4 are arguably better and generally the fan favorites. Part 5 is different and might be a turnoff. Part 6 is great if you’re newer to F13, but it went too far into spoofsville for me. Part 7 is a nice throwback to the earlier chapters. Part 8 really blows; I’d watch it, but I wouldn’t watch it if I had the whole lot of ‘em in front of me. Part 9 is good, but it’s nothing like the rest of them…skip for now. Don’t think they included Jason X on there.

Apaakldklaskalksakka.

In closing, go with Part 3 or Part 4.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/22/2006 10:57 PM

My call center is super ghetto. They basically gutted an old factory and put up some walls and cubicles. We call the downstairs "The Dungeon" and it’s filled with weird winding tunnels and rooms.

Half of the call center is going to leave in a few weeks because we sold off our credit portfolio to fund opening 10 new stores (taking over Strawbridge’s). We don’t have a warehouse. We ship from 21 of our 40some stores. Sometimes customers get stuff that was returned to the store. The other day someone got a used nursing bra. Also since we don’t have a warehouse, we don’t know exactly what our stock of items is. The way we find out if after a few stores can’t find an item, we cancel the items from the order a week later and piss off the customer. Then we keep the item online until we can beg permission from the buyers to take it off.

My job is to take care of all the orders that got fucked up. Crediting for price mistakes, replacing shit UPS stole, yelling at the stores, giving work to the phone reps, etc, etc. Sometimes my manager brings me toys and sticks for to poke at the workers to make them go faster.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/22/2006 11:12 PM

Can’t say I have call center experience, but I did a stint working the Registrar’s desk of a certain law school in NYC that is NOT NYU. I spent half my day telling skip tracers that the school was NOT NYU. Though my crown jewel came after first semester final grades came out, and a particularly dim student (who was an utter pain in the ass) came to me to complain about his failing grade in Constitution Law I (aka If you can’t pass this get the f*ck out and no, you don’t get your money back). He asked me (not the instructor, mind you, the temp at the desk) why he failed. I told him it was because he clearly wasn’t meant to go to law school.

I was taken off the desk later that day.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 07/22/2006 11:41 PM

My computer clock is wrong. It’s not 3:15 PM.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/23/2006 12:11 PM

Indeed it is later. But thanks for hanging out Matt! I worked a computer lab, which you would think would be rife with funny stories. Turns out, they’re all annoying, not funny. PLus side, I saw the Angels beat the Royals in person tonight. It was….ehhh, OK.

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 07/23/2006 12:23 PM

We need another Spoiler thread. The old one kicked so much ass.

On a "Serious" topic, I need fundraising ideas for my Frat for some of our future…endeavors. (Booze Cruise, 10 Year Frat Bro reunion at Foxwoods, etc.)

Anyway, we need to raise a few Thou. in the next few months, and kinda quick. Here’s what we’ve ruled out:

-Car Wash
-Giving up beer
-Phony Ticker-tape parade
-Outright mugging members of the rival frat (they’ve got no $ to begin with)

If you got any ideas (that we can pull off with as little people hurt/arrested/killed as possible), I’d like to know.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/23/2006 12:30 PM

Aww, Jedoc posted first and didn’t even brag about it. :) and I couldn’t have said it better, about the Clamato, and it’s chips, than him.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 07/23/2006 12:35 PM

Buy a tube full of lightstick bracelets/necklaces wholesale. Super cheap. Go to some beach community/outdoor place/whatever and be a walkaround vendor, selling ‘em for 2-3 bucks a pop. You’ll be richer than God.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/23/2006 12:35 PM

I’ve never worked in a call center but one time I made a prank call to a health food store. In my best Apu accent I demanded to know the price and type of snake oil the carried. :-D

Also, I have to write about MC Hammer for the site I work on and I was wondering if someone might be willing to offer a description of what his song "Pumps & a Bump" reminds you of? I’ll mention you in the article if you want. :-D

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 07/23/2006 12:35 PM

I understand Terror Claws. Watching any team defeat the Royals would lead to an "ehhh, OK" reaction. I think my old high school home economics class could beat the Royals (sorry Royals fans)! Being a Reds fan, any game is an "ehhh, OK" game… an average reaction to an average team. Oh well…

Chestnuts roasted by Bludge @ 07/23/2006 12:41 PM

Invader Norbert, I just read your fundraising post and my sister hit on the idea for a bake sale. My thought is to do it late at night so that you hit that all-important "stoner with the munchies" market.

Chestnuts roasted by Thomas @ 07/23/2006 12:57 PM

Clamato? WTF? I will stick to plain old tortilla chips, thanks.

And since I’m currently unemployed, I would love to work in a call center. But I’m hearing impaired, so I don’t think it would work out. Imagine this coversation.

**Phone Rings**
Me: Thank you for calling our super-special-awesome repair hotline. How may I help you?

Caller: (something) (something) computer (something) (something) and (something that sounds like the F word) and (something) your company!

Me: I’m deaf, so I can’t understand you. If you’ll listen very carefully, I’ll describe how to fix your problem. You might want to write this down, because it’s complicated and inovles ritual sacrifice…

[and so on...]

Do you think someone would hire me under the disabilities act and just pay me to answer phones and say "Sorry, can’t hear you, let me transfer your call?." ?

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/23/2006 1:05 AM

I work in a factory now so I don’t have to deal with customers.

When I was in retail for a while I worked at a dollar store. Only some items where less than a dollar like two/ or three/for a dollar. One time I charged somebody .50 cents instead of .33 cents for a candy bar and he started to yell at me like I’d spit in his breakfast cereal. Not to bad except his daughter was there otherwise I would have laughed in his face.

Chestnuts roasted by mrjayberry @ 07/23/2006 1:50 AM

There’s customer service work out there that isn’t all phones, but I guess it might be tough at a straight up call center. I’m hoping to close out my customer service career without ever having worked in a major cube farm, or as a telemarketer of any shape. Have you ever looked into working with the people who translate calls for the hearing impaired (not sure what it’s called, TTY maybe?)?
The thing about customers is you never (rarely) deal with the normal people. You mainly deal with the angry, the cheap, and the criminally inept. Then there’s the pervs, the conspiracy theorists, the hagglers…that’s why for every fun call there’s a dozen horror stories.
Is there any significance to the fact that the Spanish gets top billing on the bag? Simple alphabetization, or a demographic thing, I wonder.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/23/2006 2:27 AM

Never really looked into working with a Relay company. Not sure how that would work.

I’ve actually often thought about going into the hearing aid industry. Everything about it is geared toward old people. I’m 23. I may feel old, but I’m NOT old…There’s SO much cool stuff that could be happening if a younger person would get some capital behind it. Such as WHY is Bluetooth not in every hearing aid now? Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to go to my laptop and stream some music over bluetooth directly to my ears? And Why don’t TVs have some sort of government-mandated loop system? Where are the moisture-resistant/water-proof aids? Etc. The market is too geared toward old decrepit people. I know they’re the majority, but sheesh! Let’s get some innovation here!

On that note, when I was in England for five weeks last summer, I noticed that EVERYWHERE has telecoil loop systems. It must be a government policy. Taxicabs have em. that’s a Godsend for me. It’s basically like putting headphones on–direct audio feed to your ear. WHY don’t we have this in America? Arghh…

Sorry for the rant…just some things that frustrate me.

On the Spanish note, I imagine because it’s Tortilla chips? Maybe the marketeers thought it would be "fun" for the consumer. Of course, I’m in Texas, and bilingual packaging like this is everywhere.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/23/2006 2:45 AM

To hell with Clamato. V8 (or its store-brand equivalent) fo’ life!

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 07/23/2006 3:11 AM

Iams dog food also has French printed on it. That’s how I learned puppies are chiots and kittens are caton.

This message brought to you by the letter H.

;-)

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 07/23/2006 3:15 AM

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This entry was posted on Saturday, July 22nd, 2006 at 7:47 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.