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07/22/2006: Clamato Tortilla Chips!

I know I’ve written at length at how appalled I was at the idea of Clamato in the past, but I think I’ve softened. When I visited Toronto last year, a few friends introduced me to the “Bloody Caesar,” Canada’s favorite cocktail, which takes the tomato juice out of the Bloody Mary and replaces it with Clamato. I’m not saying I’ve run out to buy gallons of the stuff since, but it’s no longer to the point where I can’t look at a bottle of it in fear of nausea. With that testimonial out the way, I’d like to formally introduce you to Clamato tortilla chips, followed by several exclamation points inside parenthesis.

They’re honestly not bad. I detected no clam presence, with the chips feeling more like “tomato juice chips,” so heavily salted that they could’ve very well been forged with snake broth and nobody would notice. I kind of wish they were gross because it’d make for a more interesting story, but I think the mere fact that Clamato has been realized as a tortilla chip is story enough. By the way, this is your Saturday Night Thread.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 59 comments

Oh, no. That’s not right. Drinking tomato juice as a beverage isn’t right, spiking tomato juice with mollusk juice isn’t right, and coagulating that abominable mixture into tortilla chips isn’t right. Truly, this is a sign of the end times.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 07/22/2006 7:52 PM EDT

Takes a big man to admit he’s changed his mind.
Happy Saturday everybody.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/22/2006 7:53 PM EDT

Wow, Clamato chips? That’s completely unexpected. I really do enjoy tomato juice, though. It is particularly tasty on macaroni- sort of a super low budget non-chunky tomato sauce. Funny how I can’t stand tomato(e)s, however.

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 07/22/2006 7:55 PM EDT

Considering the way that processed foods are produced, I wonder if there is any actual Clamato in the chips. Though I suppose that’s the same as wondering how much cheese is in a Cheeto. Any way you look at it, no good can come from this.

Ghosted by Thomas @ 07/22/2006 7:58 PM EDT

I’m known for hating things with a fiery passion before trying them out, inevitably loving them with all my heart. The latest in this tradition is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Used to hate it, now I love it.

Okay, now onto story time. Some of you know that I post on the SNT while at work. Not 10 minutes ago I got a call from a guy claiming to have had great success with one of our products (a blanket for newborns). Then, out of nowhere, he starts talking about how his girlfriend’s sister is fond of feeding the child from a tube top – just rolling it down and "letting those 43 DDDs hang out for the world to see." At this point I started to get a little weirded-out, since we’ve gotten perverts calling in the past. Sure enough, he starts talking about how much he loves it and how he goes over all the time. Then he starts asking me how normal this is, and do I like chicks, and if so, do I like big…you know. After about 45 seconds, I hung up.

Feel free to relate your bizarre customer service stories here…as long as I’m not threadjacking…didn’t really see a topic.

Ghosted by Kyle @ 07/22/2006 7:59 PM EDT

What..um….what is there to say to Clamato chips?

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 07/22/2006 8:03 PM EDT

Ah, there’s no such thing as threadjacking on a SNT. Informal surveys give the conversation direction.

The strangest request I’ve ever gotten at the library is somebody asking if we had their boxers in the lost and found. After a moment of consideration, I decided not to ask them why they had lost their underwear in the library. There are some stones better left unturned. Oh, and their boxers were not, in fact, in the lost and found. For which I shall be enternally grateful.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 07/22/2006 8:10 PM EDT

I was introduced to these a few weeks ago as they started stocking them in the vending machines at work. Basically I was sitting at my desk and this emo kid I worked with came up to me dangling a red tortilla above my head and went, "Eat this." It does indeed taste like a tomato soup tortilla chip.

I saw some Limited Edition Pringles the other day… 2 or 3 of them. One looked rather spicy, and I didn’t recognize the flavor as it appeared Spanish. I’m sure it loosely translated to "ass fire." I went with the nice, safe, Cheesy Quesadilla. They really taste like cheesy quesadillas! I shared them with my dude friend at work, which I think makes up nicely for my shooting him in the eye during a rubber band war later in the day.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 07/22/2006 8:11 PM EDT

Clamato sounds like the name of an STD. Is anyone else having trouble logging into yahoo messenger? Since I have no money or cigarettes (still) I’m desperate for people to talk to. My AIM name is phunqsauce. Feel free to mock me and throw shit at me. I’m bored…….

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 07/22/2006 8:14 PM EDT

I’M GONNA DRINK!

Ghosted by G-Dog @ 07/22/2006 8:16 PM EDT

Mystie,

Is a "Dude Friend" the guy that you flirt with all day at work and then don’t have anything to do with after 5:00? Like Pam and Jim on The Office (at least through most of the 2nd season, never finished it…)? If so, I’d just like to say that that’s the worst thing ever.

If not, my apologies. Sorry, just been messed with by too many of those types.

Ghosted by Kyle @ 07/22/2006 8:21 PM EDT

Kyle

Not really, he’s this fanboy with freak eyes (one is black, the other is light brown). I used to flirt with him all the time until I confronted him about never asking me out, but apparently he just got out of a bad relationship. Now we just bust on each other all day.

Such is the drama of working for the worst online store ever.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 07/22/2006 8:35 PM EDT

I’m not really THAT desperate to talk to someone but all of my friends are too busy not hanging out with me…..

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 07/22/2006 8:46 PM EDT

Clamato chips, eh?
"The movie-night snack of Satan", methinks.

Ghosted by Somethin' Funny @ 07/22/2006 8:49 PM EDT

A) Having two differently colored eyes is hardly freaky; in fact, it’s quite an interesting and rare trait. My sister has one brown and one green.

B) $1000 bucks says he still thinks it’s flirting.

Ghosted by Kyle @ 07/22/2006 9:00 PM EDT

KYLE, GET THEE TO ITUNES AND WATCH THE END OF THAT SEASON YOU DEPRIVED FOOL!
Sorry, it’s just that if you’re bittered by Pam types you should catch the last few eps, you might feel better, or at least give Pam a break. Same applies to the entire British series.
I have many many customer horror stories. I think everybody who’s worked CS has dozens of the boring things. My fav is from years ago…A dude was freaking on me for whatever reason, with angry emails that ironically had a heartwarming Winnie the Pooh quote as the signature. I asked him to email his order confirmation…he emailed one, all right, but instead of a receipt for inkjet cartridges, I get a receipt from http://www.biggercockclub.com. It wasn’t a gag, it was a real receipt with a credit card and transaction ID. I checked the url, and the receipt was for the exact amount of some kind of weiner cream. I emailed back explaining that he had forwarded the wrong receipt, and I never heard back from him again. I still have the emails somewhere.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/22/2006 9:15 PM EDT

squee that is too funny!!!! ha ha ha!!! (i think the lack of nicotine is making me loony)

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 07/22/2006 9:18 PM EDT

Oh, make no mistake, I am not a bitter office romance reject. I just find that sort of behavior to be repulsive.

And as much as I’d love to see the rest of the season, I no longer have a home computer, and the one at work (which I’m currently using) is monitored pretty closely. In fact, I just requested the use of iTunes the other day (in order to play my iPod at work) but the request was denied. Tis the suck.

Ghosted by Kyle @ 07/22/2006 9:22 PM EDT

Since I have nothing to say about clam chips and wild sex-capades, I will only say, Squee, I responded to you on the last thread.
To the rest of you, you sicken me. Happy SNT.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 07/22/2006 9:29 PM EDT

I love Caesars and Marys. Anyway, where’s that article you said you were working on!?! Don’t be holdin’ out on me now, Matt!

Meh. I’m sure you have a good excuse. Anyway, later.

Ghosted by Nate @ 07/22/2006 9:34 PM EDT

I was going to include a note here saying that I was writing it as we speak, but then everyone would call me a liar because I’ve been saying that for two weeks already.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/22/2006 9:35 PM EDT

need………..nicotine……….

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 07/22/2006 9:55 PM EDT

I will not be posting in tonight’s SNT thread.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 07/22/2006 10:02 PM EDT

Dohopoki- Too late. You already have.

Ghosted by Nate @ 07/22/2006 10:14 PM EDT

I never used to like ceasars, but the oen they have at the spaghetti factory in Toronto on is very good.

TOns of tobasco and Pepper Vodka, that’s how to make a ceasar.

Ghosted by selvig @ 07/22/2006 10:21 PM EDT

I went to a flea market today, and ended up buying the M.U.S.C.L.E. Nintendo game for four bucks. I enjoyed it, personally, but then I know all about the Japanese characters.
Kinnikuman, Ramen Man, Robin Mask, Buffalo Man, Wars Man, Geronimo, Terry Man, Ashura Man…Fuck yeah!

Ghosted by Der Super @ 07/22/2006 10:41 PM EDT

I just started working at a call center for a prepaid phone company and it really sucks. I get several people a day telling me where to stick the phone. I also get people calling in with that really super annoying why is it doing it chirping of the fire alarm in the background. I should call loveline and tell them about that.

Most people from the south (apologies for people here that are from the south) always pay the minimium on their phone, and most of the bounced check issues are from people with a thick accent that are from alabama, arkansas, texas, etc.

A lot of the customers just don’t get the service on the phone and I have to take time out to explain. They don’t like the plan, they know how it works, they just don’t like it and want the plan the way they want it. THEY HATE GETTING TRANSFERED and CUSS at ME when that happens.

This guy said that he paid for the service and I looked and it said that he didn’t pay for shit and he said that he was going to take the phone company to small claims court because it was on his bank statement and get his money back. Welp, there is no way that he could of paid without me looking it up. This was my second call by myself I believe

Anyway I hope that was amusing and just not me ranting about my job. And the prinicpal of working in a cubical in a call center gets to me too cause I am a punk rebel type. Oh well 9 dollars an hour plus benefits is a good reason to give up your soul, right? heh…

Ghosted by Goob @ 07/22/2006 10:46 PM EDT

I just want to say, this is my first time home for a SNT and sober while posting.

Ghosted by Gadget @ 07/22/2006 10:50 PM EDT

Happy Saturday everybody… As a Canadain, I can strongly say that Clams and Tomatos were meant for each other.
I picked up the Friday the 13th box set tonight… I payed 80 bucks, and I’m feeling ripped off, (damn you Best Buy!) I’ve only seen the first two, anyone have any ideas at where I should begin?

Ghosted by Rich @ 07/22/2006 10:52 PM EDT

Part III?? IT’S IN 3-D!!!

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 07/22/2006 10:54 PM EDT

squee

Your story reminds me of another of mine, from about a year or so ago. Here’s the quick version:

1. Woman places order w/ husband’s credit card.
2. Card is denied, we call to get new CC#.
3. Husband calls back, furious that we would call and leave a message on the machine.
4. After much confusion, guy finally figures out who we are (children’s toy company).
5. Guy goes on to explain that he signed up for a porn website while the rest of his family was – swear to God – on vacation at Disney World, and thought that we were that website calling back.
6. I tell everyone I know, and we all laugh.

Working in a call center sucks. Luckily, I was recently promoted, mostly. During the week I’m in Operations, doing tech shit. On the weekends, however, I’m still stuck with the PM Supervisor shift, which means dealing with angry customers. And with Halloween and Christmas coming up, I’m already getting set for the madness. My empathy to those in this industry.

Ghosted by Kyle @ 07/22/2006 10:55 PM EDT

Thanks Manimal. I was thinking that bit was from Dogma. I just caught a few minutes of Kevin Smith on The Henry Rollins Show…I listened carefully to see if Smith’s swearing seemed forced, but it didn’t bother me.
I feel the pain of no computer, Kyle. I have to avoid X-E at work due to the dodgy url, so I’m very thankful for my mobile phone. I wouldn’t defend Pam-like behavior IRL (Dawn from the UK version is even worse) but in the context of the story I find her sweet and sympathetic, nowhere near repulsive.
Don’t feel bad, Matt, we know how it goes. Though a new article this weekend would certainly be welcome.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/22/2006 10:56 PM EDT

Clamato chips? What’s next, Clamato popsicles? Personally, I love drinking V8 juice.

Saw Clerks 2 today and it is just as funny as the first one. Rosario Dawson is hot in glasses. Although the donkey show scenes made me cringe.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 07/22/2006 10:57 PM EDT

Welcome, Gadget.

And Rich, you’ve come to the right place. The price tag on the box set is a bit of a rip, because the extra features are so lacking. There’s so much trivia and interesting bits behind the production of each movie, it’s a real shame commentaries in the DVDs have been the exception to the norm.

I’ve become partial to Part 2, but Parts 3 & 4 are arguably better and generally the fan favorites. Part 5 is different and might be a turnoff. Part 6 is great if you’re newer to F13, but it went too far into spoofsville for me. Part 7 is a nice throwback to the earlier chapters. Part 8 really blows; I’d watch it, but I wouldn’t watch it if I had the whole lot of ‘em in front of me. Part 9 is good, but it’s nothing like the rest of them…skip for now. Don’t think they included Jason X on there.

Apaakldklaskalksakka.

In closing, go with Part 3 or Part 4.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/22/2006 10:57 PM EDT

My call center is super ghetto. They basically gutted an old factory and put up some walls and cubicles. We call the downstairs "The Dungeon" and it’s filled with weird winding tunnels and rooms.

Half of the call center is going to leave in a few weeks because we sold off our credit portfolio to fund opening 10 new stores (taking over Strawbridge’s). We don’t have a warehouse. We ship from 21 of our 40some stores. Sometimes customers get stuff that was returned to the store. The other day someone got a used nursing bra. Also since we don’t have a warehouse, we don’t know exactly what our stock of items is. The way we find out if after a few stores can’t find an item, we cancel the items from the order a week later and piss off the customer. Then we keep the item online until we can beg permission from the buyers to take it off.

My job is to take care of all the orders that got fucked up. Crediting for price mistakes, replacing shit UPS stole, yelling at the stores, giving work to the phone reps, etc, etc. Sometimes my manager brings me toys and sticks for to poke at the workers to make them go faster.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 07/22/2006 11:12 PM EDT

Can’t say I have call center experience, but I did a stint working the Registrar’s desk of a certain law school in NYC that is NOT NYU. I spent half my day telling skip tracers that the school was NOT NYU. Though my crown jewel came after first semester final grades came out, and a particularly dim student (who was an utter pain in the ass) came to me to complain about his failing grade in Constitution Law I (aka If you can’t pass this get the f*ck out and no, you don’t get your money back). He asked me (not the instructor, mind you, the temp at the desk) why he failed. I told him it was because he clearly wasn’t meant to go to law school.

I was taken off the desk later that day.

Ghosted by LemurCat @ 07/22/2006 11:41 PM EDT

My computer clock is wrong. It’s not 3:15 PM.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/23/2006 12:11 PM EDT

Indeed it is later. But thanks for hanging out Matt! I worked a computer lab, which you would think would be rife with funny stories. Turns out, they’re all annoying, not funny. PLus side, I saw the Angels beat the Royals in person tonight. It was….ehhh, OK.

Ghosted by Terror Claws Cole @ 07/23/2006 12:23 PM EDT

We need another Spoiler thread. The old one kicked so much ass.

On a "Serious" topic, I need fundraising ideas for my Frat for some of our future…endeavors. (Booze Cruise, 10 Year Frat Bro reunion at Foxwoods, etc.)

Anyway, we need to raise a few Thou. in the next few months, and kinda quick. Here’s what we’ve ruled out:

-Car Wash
-Giving up beer
-Phony Ticker-tape parade
-Outright mugging members of the rival frat (they’ve got no $ to begin with)

If you got any ideas (that we can pull off with as little people hurt/arrested/killed as possible), I’d like to know.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 07/23/2006 12:30 PM EDT

Aww, Jedoc posted first and didn’t even brag about it. and I couldn’t have said it better, about the Clamato, and it’s chips, than him.

Ghosted by Ryane @ 07/23/2006 12:35 PM EDT

Buy a tube full of lightstick bracelets/necklaces wholesale. Super cheap. Go to some beach community/outdoor place/whatever and be a walkaround vendor, selling ‘em for 2-3 bucks a pop. You’ll be richer than God.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/23/2006 12:35 PM EDT

I’ve never worked in a call center but one time I made a prank call to a health food store. In my best Apu accent I demanded to know the price and type of snake oil the carried.

Also, I have to write about MC Hammer for the site I work on and I was wondering if someone might be willing to offer a description of what his song "Pumps & a Bump" reminds you of? I’ll mention you in the article if you want.

Ghosted by Todd @ 07/23/2006 12:35 PM EDT

I understand Terror Claws. Watching any team defeat the Royals would lead to an "ehhh, OK" reaction. I think my old high school home economics class could beat the Royals (sorry Royals fans)! Being a Reds fan, any game is an "ehhh, OK" game… an average reaction to an average team. Oh well…

Ghosted by Bludge @ 07/23/2006 12:41 PM EDT

Invader Norbert, I just read your fundraising post and my sister hit on the idea for a bake sale. My thought is to do it late at night so that you hit that all-important "stoner with the munchies" market.

Ghosted by Thomas @ 07/23/2006 12:57 PM EDT

Clamato? WTF? I will stick to plain old tortilla chips, thanks.

And since I’m currently unemployed, I would love to work in a call center. But I’m hearing impaired, so I don’t think it would work out. Imagine this coversation.

**Phone Rings**
Me: Thank you for calling our super-special-awesome repair hotline. How may I help you?

Caller: (something) (something) computer (something) (something) and (something that sounds like the F word) and (something) your company!

Me: I’m deaf, so I can’t understand you. If you’ll listen very carefully, I’ll describe how to fix your problem. You might want to write this down, because it’s complicated and inovles ritual sacrifice…

[and so on...]

Do you think someone would hire me under the disabilities act and just pay me to answer phones and say "Sorry, can’t hear you, let me transfer your call?." ?

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 07/23/2006 1:05 AM EDT

I work in a factory now so I don’t have to deal with customers.

When I was in retail for a while I worked at a dollar store. Only some items where less than a dollar like two/ or three/for a dollar. One time I charged somebody .50 cents instead of .33 cents for a candy bar and he started to yell at me like I’d spit in his breakfast cereal. Not to bad except his daughter was there otherwise I would have laughed in his face.

Ghosted by mrjayberry @ 07/23/2006 1:50 AM EDT

There’s customer service work out there that isn’t all phones, but I guess it might be tough at a straight up call center. I’m hoping to close out my customer service career without ever having worked in a major cube farm, or as a telemarketer of any shape. Have you ever looked into working with the people who translate calls for the hearing impaired (not sure what it’s called, TTY maybe?)?
The thing about customers is you never (rarely) deal with the normal people. You mainly deal with the angry, the cheap, and the criminally inept. Then there’s the pervs, the conspiracy theorists, the hagglers…that’s why for every fun call there’s a dozen horror stories.
Is there any significance to the fact that the Spanish gets top billing on the bag? Simple alphabetization, or a demographic thing, I wonder.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/23/2006 2:27 AM EDT

Never really looked into working with a Relay company. Not sure how that would work.

I’ve actually often thought about going into the hearing aid industry. Everything about it is geared toward old people. I’m 23. I may feel old, but I’m NOT old…There’s SO much cool stuff that could be happening if a younger person would get some capital behind it. Such as WHY is Bluetooth not in every hearing aid now? Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to go to my laptop and stream some music over bluetooth directly to my ears? And Why don’t TVs have some sort of government-mandated loop system? Where are the moisture-resistant/water-proof aids? Etc. The market is too geared toward old decrepit people. I know they’re the majority, but sheesh! Let’s get some innovation here!

On that note, when I was in England for five weeks last summer, I noticed that EVERYWHERE has telecoil loop systems. It must be a government policy. Taxicabs have em. that’s a Godsend for me. It’s basically like putting headphones on–direct audio feed to your ear. WHY don’t we have this in America? Arghh…

Sorry for the rant…just some things that frustrate me.

On the Spanish note, I imagine because it’s Tortilla chips? Maybe the marketeers thought it would be "fun" for the consumer. Of course, I’m in Texas, and bilingual packaging like this is everywhere.

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 07/23/2006 2:45 AM EDT

To hell with Clamato. V8 (or its store-brand equivalent) fo’ life!

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 07/23/2006 3:11 AM EDT

Iams dog food also has French printed on it. That’s how I learned puppies are chiots and kittens are caton.

This message brought to you by the letter H.

Ghosted by Todd @ 07/23/2006 3:15 AM EDT

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