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X-E’s Disney World Adventure – Part 3!

Happy 4th of July, all. I've barely heard any fireworks today. Guess everyone blew their stock over the course of the weekend. Krauts. I'm down to a smoke bomb and a sparkler, and I just totally remembered right now that this is one of those rare days of the year where several channels run marathons of shows that are only good in marathon form. I'll make this quick.

A month, nine pages and 56,000 words bring X-E's Disney World Adventure to its conclusion. Part 3 has been posted, covering luaus, blinking drinks, roller coasters and giant bees. Hope you've enjoyed the series; I'm definitely ready to get back to doing some more "normal" X-E articles, starting next weekend.

Posted by Matt on 07/04/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 168 comments

Am I the only one having trouble viewing the clips for part 3? It downloads slow, then it basically blows up my montitor to make it weird, distorted colors. I’m forced to shut down everytime. I retried the player using the Disney Part 2, and those clips are fine.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/05/2006 2:06 PM

With each successive Disney article, I found myself longing for next year’s trip to the holy DW land. My family is going with threebeesatdisney’s family next spring/summer, if that is indeed you, B. If it’s not you B., nevermind. I don’t want someone to think that I’m stalking his/her family or that I’m like Bob from "What About Bob".
We actually have some of those lighted ice cubes and they look really cool in the glowing Lord of the Rings light-up chalices that I mentioned in an earlier thread.

By the way, Superman Crunch does indeed turn my poop green. It wasn’t just coincidence.

Chestnuts roasted by freudguy @ 07/05/2006 2:21 PM

I haven’t read all theposts yet, so someone may have mentioned this. But, the kids flashing WESTSIDE are priceless.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/05/2006 2:21 PM

Kingklash-

I think you’re looking at his bowtie. Donald wears a blue sailor shirt and a red bowtie. It does indeed look like a bra at first, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 07/05/2006 2:39 PM

OKay, I just read the comments,I guess I wasn’t the first:)

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/05/2006 2:47 PM

BOB HA! I mean freudguy
Yes, it is me… B! Does J know about the green poop?! HA! I am guessing you tried a second bowl just to be sure!
Can’t wait til next summer vacation….I am counting the days to DISNEY!

Chestnuts roasted by threebeesatdisney @ 07/05/2006 3:14 PM

Good show, Matt! I’m just about 90 minutes down the road from DisneyLAND on the Left Coast, but I think the World is now one place I’d certainly like to see before I die. It seems like the park I’ve grown up with on steroids, to the zillionth power. But I think I’d rather go during the winter; things are broiling enough in CA right now.

Have you ever seen Anthony Bourdain’s show "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel? I think if he ever went to WDW (which wouldn’t be bloody likely, considering his tastes; I think he once dissed it on one episode), he would probably make very similar comments to your writing. You have quite a gift, man. Does it cost extra wrapped?

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 07/05/2006 3:23 PM

I had one (well more than one…it was my birthday at the time! ;) ) of those light up drinks at Disney’s MGM Studios at the 50′s Prime Time Cafe. We raided "Dad’s Liquor Cabinet"!

From Dad’s Liquor Cabinet

Our Family’s Glowing Drinks
served with Dad’s "Experimental Electric Ice Cubes"
$9.50

Dad’s Electric Lemonade – Dad whips up an electrifying blue drink with rum, vodka, blue curacao, sweet and sour mix and Sprite — it is to die for!

Uncle Tim’s Summer Breeze – Our favorite uncle had a delicious idea for this drink and mmmm was he so right. Mix of Bombay gin, cherry brandy, sweet and sour mix and sprite… It is so refreshing!

Mowie Wowie — Malibu rum, melon liqueur, peach schnapps, orange and pineapple juices.

Grandma’s Picnic Punch — Grandma concocted a wonderful drink for the family picnic with vodka, peach schnapps, creme de cassis, pink lemonade and pineapple juice.

That Grandma… ya gotta watch her! She’ll drink it all up before ya realize it!

I loved those drinks so much I bought a bunch of the "ice" cubes off of eBay. That was a few years back. I think Matt’s looked way cooler in the dark since mine was served under fluorescent lights. Bummer!

drink descriptions courtesy of
http://www.allearsnet.com

Chestnuts roasted by threebeesatdisney @ 07/05/2006 3:38 PM

Man, I have been witing for ever to go on expedition everest, and in 7 days I will!

Chestnuts roasted by Mightystalfos @ 07/05/2006 4:26 PM

Hmm, live alligators at Orlando Airport? Wonder what they feed them? (insert corny joke about bad airport/airline food here) Anyways, another airport I might recommend getting stuck in is San Jose, CA. It has this Rube Goldberg-type machine in a glass case in one of the terminals that moves these marbles upward with a battery-operated chain pulley (the only thing in there not operated solely by gravity), then drops them through a wild mechanical maze where they can take something like three paths through various springs, chutes, and funnels before reaching the bottom and starting their perilous journey all over again. Yeah, I think there are a million similar devices throughout the known world, but mostly in museum lobbies. This one was in a mother-loving AIRPORT. And even so, you can still watch them practically forever. It certainly livened up my stay there, since we had to wait a long time and on top of that our flight was delayed. Fortunately this was just a Southwest Airlines puddle-jumper, so we weren’t TOO tired and pissed afterwards.

Don’t know if it could beat alligators, though. Of course, alligators are often content to not do a whole hell of a lot, so it would be a tough call for me.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 07/05/2006 4:29 PM

For the people that also noticed the kids in #32:

That’s not the "West Side", that’s The Shocker! (you may have to talk your gf into it)

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/05/2006 4:30 PM

On one hand, these articles made me want to do to DW. On the other hand, I’m a coward when it comes to rides so I probably would never get the full experience. Plus, I’m broke.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/05/2006 4:39 PM

ok, UPDATE:
So, I Watched "The JackHammer Massacre" Before Goin To Bed Last Night, And Let Me Just Say, I Liked It, But It Was TOO DISTURBING EVEN FOR ME!!!
my god, the drug scenes in this movie are really terrifying, it reminds me so much of a friend I lost to crack, makes me sad… :(

I Do’nt Really Suggest It To Anyone Who Is In ANY Way Squemish, Seriously, Its REALLY REALLY FUCKING GROSS!!!
And I Conquer with those who said they will miss the anticipation of a new disney article, but hey, im sure you ahve some even more rad stuff for us.
tnks for entertaining me matt.

cheers
El-Josh-O

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 07/05/2006 5:14 PM

hey guys did u see the story about the casinos in atlantic city closing? it SUCKS i so wanted to go after reading most of the atlantic city articles matt wrote if you havent heard heres a link to the story
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601103&sid=ashik_Yhq3R8&refer=us

Chestnuts roasted by Canadianobody @ 07/05/2006 5:24 PM

Long-time lurker, first-time poster:) The comment about restaurant reservations cracked me up and I had to share a similar situation I encountered at WDW a few years ago. I succumbed to the reservation paranoia they spread there, so I called the reservation hotline from our hotel one morning trying to make a reservation at the Teppanyaki restaurant in the Japan pavilion at Epcot. The lady on the phone spoke to me in a tone that insinuated I was a total idiot. She said, “Ma’am, you need to book reservations for Teppanyaki six months in advance.” So I asked if she had anything available for that night and she conceded that actually, yes she did. And I got my choice of available times. While we were there, I witnessed numerous walk-in customers get seated quite promptly as well (actually, more promptly than us reservation holders!). I think they try to create a false sense of demand to justify the “exclusivity” of some of the restaurants.

Andrew: I live in San Jose and that’s just a little mini version of a gigantic one that’s at the Tech Museum here. Here’s a link to a photo (don’t really know what the heck Web site it came from!):
http://www.bayareanightgame.com/index.php/Slick_Willie

BTW, I’ve really enjoyed the Disney articles and just about everything else ever written on XE ;)

Chestnuts roasted by papergirl @ 07/05/2006 6:19 PM

I don’t think this has been mentioned here, but I just found out that Brandon Routh is apparently a major fruitcake. When he was fired from One Life to Live, he said on his website that the producers may get far in this world, but this isn’t the world that really matters, also- "I will leave God to judge those who have wronged me."

Maybe it’s not the yellow sun, maybe Superman gets his powers from his Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 07/05/2006 6:45 PM

I will never step a foot in Disney WOrld. It preaches evil and I believe Matt proved it with this 3 parter…yeesh!

Chestnuts roasted by phunQsauce @ 07/05/2006 6:48 PM

Hey Matt,
Isn’t that Aerosmith coaster the one where a kid died recently?

Waa, waa, waa…

Chestnuts roasted by Debbie Downer @ 07/05/2006 6:48 PM

yea it was the aerosmith coaster i remember seeing it on cnn

Chestnuts roasted by Canadianobody @ 07/05/2006 6:51 PM

I love you articles Matt! The pictures with this last one were fantastic, as was your wonderful descriptions of all things disney.

Chestnuts roasted by ScarlettV @ 07/05/2006 7:09 PM

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints reminds you that Superman is Mormon. A mormon Kryptonian at that. I don’t like this douchebag who is playing Spue right now. What is next, Green Lantern starring The Rock?

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 07/05/2006 7:13 PM

matt—-the cookie….from honey i shrunk the kids… it wasn’t an oreo!!! it’s an oatmeal cookie. they did make the oreo big stuff in the 80s…but in the movie it’s an oatmeal cookie sandwich.

Chestnuts roasted by micalee @ 07/05/2006 7:19 PM

"it’d be really wrong of me to call every kid who bumped into my knee a motherfucker"

"Write this down, because it works every time. A lot of kids are bastards, but most of them still back down from curses. I’m not saying that you have to look a kid in the eye and tell her to fuck off; it’s nothing like that. All I had to do was turn to my girlfriend and audibly say, "they put fucking mayonnaise on this,""

If only I’d had the benefit of your wisdom when I took Eirene to Jupiter Jackup V at the Coliseum. This son of an ox blower kept leaning back and trying to steal her olives, so she just gave the whole bag to him like a stupid slave. A whole dupondius pissed right down the gutter. I should have just got a fucking T-shirt. Then the ingrate turned round and started spitin’ the pits at her titties, real cute aye? So I wedged my gladius in the little jizzers forehead. Of course that set the mum off so I had to bleed that pecker sheath, then it got ugly….I’d take a shit wagon to Tartarus before duplicating that event, but fuck all that my eyes hurt just thinking about it.

Good tip Matt, that was the funniest thing I’ve had read to me since your Soprano’s article!

P.S. Posted by Gaius

Chestnuts roasted by Titus Pullo @ 07/05/2006 7:24 PM

So, thank you, Matt. With this trifecta of Disney articles, I think I speak on behalf of all your readers saying that this was one of your finest achievements EVAR, if not the best. Wonderful stuff.
But the questions arise:
Where’s the picture of the devil child in the drive-in diner? We could circulate her face all over the internet to ensure that this girl realizes that she is Satan-spawn. You know, like the Star Wars Kid fiasco.
"it’s important to not be stupid," says Matt. Can I steal that quotation from you? I love it too damn much to part ways.
I love the napping comment. When we went to DisneyLAND, my dad decided to nap on a stone wall below the Gadget Go-Coaster in Toon Town. So over the intercom you hear this girl saying, "no climbing the walls." My dad’s too tired to pay attention. She says "no SLEEPING on the walls." I was laughing too hard to be embarrassed for being his son.
Um, what the hell is "Philhar" mean? It’s going to drive me nuts.
I liked that you got a shot of the Disney pins. They’re really super cool, to me at least, and drive me to the unthinkable that I may have to be one of those geeks who collect pins like Burt does bottle caps. I bought 7. I do so love my Haunted Mansion pin, where the gates open up to reveal the hitchiking ghosts. I play with it on my tie at work all the time.
So thanks again Matt, a great time was had by all, and by all we mean us who didn’t join you.

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 07/05/2006 8:19 PM

inkmage:

"philharmonic" means "devoted to music" or "having to do with music"

Thus, the New York Philharmonic Orchestra.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/05/2006 9:00 PM

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