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Superman’s Kryptonite Doritos!

Sorry to derail the SNT earlier than I usually derail the SNT, but it's time to talk Doritos. Kryptonite Doritos, a special 7-Eleven Superman Returns promotion. Finally found the little green bitches while killing time in LA last week, and along with those Slurpees, there are now a whole bunch of reasons why the new movie can suck and still have earned its right to exist. (I haven't seen it yet; can't comment.)

Kryptonite Doritos are merely renamed Guacamole Doritos that otherwise stand out for two reasons. One, they come in the lesser-eaten miniature chip shape, which is just so goddamned cute that I find myself apologizing to the chips before eating them. Two, they come in weird, cylindrical bags exclusive to this promotion. They're like sunflower seed packages, only they're filled with Guacamole Doritos, only they're called Kryptonite Doritos. Oddly, the movie presence doesn't really go that far. The "Kryptonite Doritos" title is straight-played and not printed in a wacky font, and the only other Superman thing seen is a fairly small "S" logo on the lower part of the package. Considering the mile-long Superman Returns licensee list, I'm guessing the approvers involved just starting winging it by the time they were discussing the branding and art for tiny bags of Doritos localized in one market chain. You can only be passionate for so long.

Stuff like this may have had more of an "opposite effect" for the film, because while I doubt many people went to see Superman Returns because it had Doritos based on it, you can bet that people expect more from a movie that has Doritos based on it. Most of the best movies in the world didn't have associated snack brands, so when you hit the level of promotions of a Superman Returns, you basically need to deliver the reborn Jesus Christ to not to be thought of as underwhelming.

But maybe that's just me being more philosophical about it than I need to be. I like that there's Kryptonite Doritos, and I like that they come in funkily shaped bags, but it will not sway me to see the movie or to say that the movie's great. On the other hand, I've never had any interest in Guacamole Doritos before. One way or another, I'm so easily sold.

Posted by Matt on 07/02/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 78 comments

Matt: Maybe I should’ve said, "2D cylinder."

A rectangle?

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 07/02/2006 11:07 PM

I want a bag! I tried the limited edition Salsa Verde green Pringles the other week — not bad!

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 07/03/2006 12:24 PM

My kid is 4. He has yet to see a Superman movie but has seen the old Fleischer toons from the 40s (ya know, back before S man could fly, he was just super strong and jumped really far? I’m not kidding, watch ‘em). He’s got this Superman cape we bought on ebay. He wears it EVERYWHERE: pre-school, the grocery store, Target, Home Depot (for some reason a little de-masculating). We went to a keg party yesterday (disguised as a 1 year old’s b-day party). He was the man. People were throwing him in the air and shit. They were drunk. I’m a crappy dad.

I like Doritos with heavy beer like Guinness (I’ve re-spelled this word 4 times and it still doesn’t look right). I went to Ireland two weeks ago for work (oh yeah, with first priority from the boss to "build relationships"… translation: "beer can be included on expense account"!!! Tell me I’m not the man). Heavy beer like that one (don’t ask me to try and spell it again) has a higher fiber level than american beer. This is based on the result anyway (I have come to call it "Murphy’s Revenge").

Chestnuts roasted by Fungusmungus @ 07/03/2006 4:42 AM

Hah. I’ve been watching those cartoons for the last couple of days, since I don’t have any of the movies. If any of you are interested, you can download them all from archive.org. Go go public domain! Just be warned, Superman really wasn’t very fond of Japanese people back in the day. Click my name for an example.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/03/2006 7:46 AM

Yeah, gotta love the World War II era propaganda. At least they’re up-front about it, not all subtle like some movies.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 07/03/2006 9:57 AM

"Maybe if they really played up the Jesus allegory it would capture my interest; otherwise I’m not that excited."

Apparently they did, though of course the character was created by Jews, not Christians, so that’s technically an inaccurate analogy (though admittedly Jesus was percieved AS that same Jewish Messiah…so I guess if you want to stretch it a bit…)

Of course, I’m biased against the movie because I think Singer is a prick and should be BANNED from comic-based movies after hearing his REAL feelings about comic books…

Chestnuts roasted by FangsFirst @ 07/03/2006 10:39 AM

Superman is gay. I’m not gonna see the movie cuz I’ve read all about it and it sounds reterded (yes I spelled it right, reterded lol). Besides this friday was like my xmas! Brand new xbox360 and a sidekick3 all in the same day! I’m still tryin to clean the stains outta my draws!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by PRSense @ 07/03/2006 11:22 AM

Ok, I have to ask this because it’s really just baffeling me. I’ve never really been a fan of Superman or anything. I remember watching some of the movies when I was little, but it was nothing I went insane over.

Ok, so WHY does everyone keep saying Superman is gay?! Is it the tights? If so, that’s a really lame reason. A friend of mine saw the movie, said that it had more of a love story feel, and that he was basically trying to get in Lois Lane’s pants the entire time.

*shrug* I’m confused.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 07/03/2006 12:03 PM

Ryane: I can only assume it’s because Bryan Singer is gay, and so people are afraid that he’s going to project his orientation into his Superman character.

Or possibly it has something to do with http://www.superdickery.com/other/196.html" target=none>this. I don’t know, I’m not a scientist.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/03/2006 12:18 PM

Ohh, ok I don’t know a thing about Bryan Singer, and I especially didn’t know he was gay.

Yeah, that’s probably why. :/

That cover was the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. :D It’s still early, but I have a feeling it will hold top notch all day long.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 07/03/2006 12:46 PM

Okay, let’s remember that Richard Roeper is quite possibly the greatest reviewer of ALLTIME, simply because he gave a thumbs up to the Matrix trilogy AND Josie and the Pussycats–his endorsement graces the DVD box, yeah!!!

But maybe I should avoid controversy and say he is MY fav movie critic of all time.

Bryan Singer, at the end of the day, without factoring in all the negative fanboy bias I have for him, is a fantastic filmmaker, IMHO.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/03/2006 12:58 PM

Scene: The Fortress of Solitude
Kal-El kicked back in a recliner, in Spider-Man boxers and a ratty t-shirt with "Galactus Can EAT ME!" printed on it. Arcturian Centipede fights are on his Galactic Viewscreen. A big bowl of green Doritos on one side, and a case of Old Thanagar beer on the other. Just another Sunday afternoon for the Man of Tomorrow.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/03/2006 2:14 PM

Of all the totally unnatural foods out there, these green Doritos are at the top of my ‘to try’ list!

Man, I have missed a lot of action on the blog this past week (I was busy moving to a new province). All went well, and now I have high speed internet! YES!

I personally want to see Superman because of Singer, more so than because of Superman himself. I lived Singer’s versions of the XMen, despite differences between the film and comics. Oh, I also like Kevin Spacey a lot, too! ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/03/2006 2:15 PM

Ryane, if you go to Defamer.com you can read all about the whole Gay Superman thang.
I’ve lost access to my "in case of" computer, so now I am terrified of the spam blocker.
Fangs, I don’t know anything about the genesis or history of Superman, I just know that there are parallels, what with the whole "sending my only son" and superhuman powers bits. I have no idea how much it’s played up in Supes various incarnations, as my only experience with the dude is the old TV show and that one Batman comic where he gets his ass kicked.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/03/2006 2:30 PM

I have a noobish question. What does SNT mean?

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Bluejeans @ 07/03/2006 2:33 PM

Thanks for the link, squee. :)

The only reason I wanna go and see the movie is because of Brandon Routh. He’s pretty damn sexy… and he kiiiinda reminds me of Joe Sakic, all dressed up as The S Man. Just a little.

Johnny – Saturday Night Thread. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 07/03/2006 2:40 PM

Hey Muppet Baby were did you move to? You lived in Quebec before right?

I know all about moving, I just moved too, I went from the GTA area to Niagra Falls. Closer to my family and friends. After all that packing and unpacking I am NEVER going to move again!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 07/03/2006 3:12 PM

Mini doritos? I wonder if those would be less like the normal "triangles of death" I described in the earlier thread mentioning these? I hope so, because Superman or not, any Doritos that will not eventually end up impaling the roof of my mouth are a blessing.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 07/03/2006 3:47 PM

IHAQ- I moved from Quebec to New Brunswick. Unfortunately, I have to move AGAIN in 2 months…we are currently staying at my boyfriend’s parents’ house for summer, but we need a place for September because the boyfriend is returning to university.

Really though, we are going to be living on the road for summer…travelling all around, and ROAD TRIPS baby, ROAD TRIPS! We’re going to be living in the car more than anything, hitting music festivals and crashing on couches. Sweeeeet.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/03/2006 5:39 PM

Squee:
Sorry if that came off as personal, it was not intended to specifically refer to you, moreso a general mounting sigh of frustration that the majority rule of a religion is colouring his history so completely; most people are Christian, thus it is assumed that he was created by Christians to be Christ like. It’s not out of the bounds of reason, I admit that, but it’s also not the case insofar as reality. That has been played up with later writers who (to my knowledge) ALSO didn’t know, but the reason Jesus WAS percieved as a messiah was in keeping with Jewish prophecy of a messiah (that more nameless one is the origin of Siegel and Schuster’s creation…at least, the iteration of it we are all familiar with, heh)

Chestnuts roasted by FangsFirst @ 07/03/2006 6:01 PM

I thought Supes was an allegory for the eternal fight against the whole Athlete’s Foot/Crabgrass/Chicken without Waffles Triumvirate of Naughtyness. Just goes to show, I am not working on the same dimensional frequency as you guys.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/03/2006 6:14 PM

HAPPY 4th Everyone!!!

Break out the Snoopy Sno-Cone Makers!

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/03/2006 8:25 PM

Holy crap.

I leave to drive home across goddamn Texas (I hate you, Texas, you’re the one thing separating my two home states), and there are a bazillion blog posts. I heart Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 07/03/2006 8:30 PM

I’m so happy that I don’t have to go to work tomorrow, I could almost choke.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 07/03/2006 8:58 PM

Superman was originally created by Siegel and Shuster to be a villian in a one-shot story.
A Nazi Superman.

B)

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 07/03/2006 9:30 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, July 2nd, 2006 at 2:13 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.