Wooo hooo! Remember that Furby giveaway spot I did many months ago? Wellp, last night, it took home a silver trophy in the annual Promax awards -- sort of like the Emmys for promos. I'd known it was nominated for a while now (category: "On-Air Sales Promotion"), and while I managed my expectations with all of that "it's an honor to be nominated" bullshit, I really wanted to fucking win. I was never in Little League and nobody invited me onto their bowling team: This is my first trophy ever, and it's heavy and silver and is now glued to my hand.

The awards show was last night, which was hosted by SNL's Darrell Hammond (funny) and played out more like a highlight reel of the year's best spots -- but due to time constraints, only select gold winners. One of the first spots shown was the gold winner in my category -- something from TBS starring Ashton Kutcher -- and between that and the sheer awesomeness of everything that was playing on the big screen, I was 100% sure I didn't win anything. Was I disappointed? Sure, but the real problem was that the show was really, really long, and I really, really had to piss, the entire, entire time. It wasn't just a case of having the nagging notion that it was time to relieve myself -- no, we're talking about a face-first, all-out pulsating bladder bomb that threatened to burst at any moment. My eyes were watering. It really hurt.

After the show, they gave out booklets naming all the winners and...there it was. The Furby spot. Silver. Fuckin' A. Relieved (both because of the win and because I finally had the chance to piss all over the walls in a ritzy hotel bathroom), we trekked up to the 9th floor so I could grab a statue and experience one of those rare moments in life when absolutely nothing is bad.

And to think, it wasn't too long ago that my high points involved finding Furby dolls at Toys 'R' Us and selling 'em on eBay with a 30% markup.