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X-E’s Disney World Adventure – Part 2!

Well, that took a century. Here's Part 2 of my Walt Disney World Adventure, spanning three pages and covering fifteen more Hot Disney Things. Again, I remind you to fish around for expertly hidden video links in addition to the ones in text. Lots of big stuff this time, with everything from Splash Mountain to drinks-in-pineapples making the grade. There's still enough worthwhile stuff to warrant a Part 3, but if you're getting bored of reading about rides in Disney World, I'll mention that much of Part 3 deals with the best part of any vacation: souvenirs.

Me and this article had a big sword fight over the past week or so, and the fact that it's been published means that I won. It doesn't mean that I had enough blood left to proofread it as hardcore as I'd like, so if you notice a bunch of typos, please tell me so I can fix them and pretend they were never there.

In other news, caught a screening for Monster House tonight, and Sony decided to rock by turning it into a veritable Halloween party for the many children who attended. It doesn't take a lot to make me happy, and a party footnoted with orange balloons and skull-headed swizzle sticks turned what would've ordinarily just been a free movie into a free movie with orange balloons and skull-headed swizzle sticks. Dig it.

That's all for now. Thanks for your patience re: Disney, and please arrange the universe so that it makes it okay for me to sleep for the next 70 hours. Thanks.

Posted by Matt on 06/19/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 189 comments

Woohoo! I can get back into my vacation now! And what great timing; I have nothing to do at work this morning!

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Sketch @ 06/20/2006 8:30 AM

I stayed in a disney hotel a couple years back and I forgot all about that Stacy chick. It’s all coming back to me now (cue cheesy song). I remember that by #4 in the countdown stacy had already hit on like 50 disney world worker men and even got a little fresh with some of the gals. Sweet, stupid memories. What bothers me is that my brain apparently created a file box exclusively for the purpose of remembering Stacy. Thanks for dredging that up, Matt. Thanks a lot…………………………………………..No really, I mean it, thank you.

Chestnuts roasted by TC Falcon @ 06/20/2006 8:54 AM

"Just don’t buy any drinks that come with a collectible take-home cup, because you’ll look like a fucking retard carrying it around all night."

Some of the most accurate advice given, ever, I feel.

Chestnuts roasted by Pete @ 06/20/2006 9:02 AM

Regarding the bird names: OOOOOOPS.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/20/2006 9:35 AM

Also the new Tiki Room renovations debuted in 1998 not 1991–which makes sense considering Aladdin and Lion King premiered in 1992 and 1994 respectively.

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 06/20/2006 10:32 AM

If it weren’t for this article, I never would have known the Monchichis could be classified as resurgent. Thank you. Thank you.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/20/2006 10:40 AM

Courtesy of Google Video, here’s the entire Stacey video:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3565027122658478429&q=disney+resort+tv

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 06/20/2006 10:57 AM

Ok, haven’t finished yet, but I had to stop and say way to go, Matt, for defending the dark rides. Lately, it seems Disney is going all open season on them. And when they do try to update them, it all goes to hell, like Journey Into Imagination.
Now, so far I’ve picked up only one mistake: the mexocarousel vid ain’t working.

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 06/20/2006 11:05 AM

Luap…noooooo. I know I won’t be able to resist her charms. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/20/2006 11:08 AM

The oysters are seeded with round pieces of plastic, shell, or whatever, that are close to the size of a standard pearl. That means the oysters only take a fraction of the time to coat ‘em. So not only is it NOT a real pearl–I don’t think it even qualifies as a decent cultured pearl…and that still isn’t enough to stop me from ripping them out of oysters at popular tourist traps. The best time was when I picked an oyster that had a pearl with a penis. Can’t wait for part 3–I’m using your articles as a way to convince my husband that we need to go to Disney World!

Chestnuts roasted by snarkychef @ 06/20/2006 11:22 AM

Matt — Saved you the trouble with the turkey leg. It tasted horrible. They’re not like roasted or broiled or anything. They’re smoked. Yes, smoked.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 06/20/2006 11:29 AM

El Rio del Tiempo=Mexican "it’s a small world…"

My wife and I (annual passholders) had a very difficult time understanding the lyrics as well, so we made up our own. Many are not safe for work.

Chestnuts roasted by Darkrose @ 06/20/2006 11:29 AM

Oh my god, I went on that mexican ride in 2000 and the horrible video clips have stuck with me. I love it.

Chestnuts roasted by Goldmineguttd @ 06/20/2006 11:30 AM

But LemurCat…smoked meat is the meat that takes the longest to lovingly prepare!

Chestnuts roasted by Ragnarok @ 06/20/2006 11:41 AM

Matt Great article. Holy sweet Jesus did that bring back memories. I had been to Disney so many times with my family, and haven’t been on vacation with them in so long, it brought back some amazing memories. Especially El Rio De Tiempo. Even though I’m not Mexican, I always kind of felt it was great that Latins were represented in some way, you know, aside from the translated warnings about closing doors and keeping your arms in the trams at all times. I especially liked the last projected video wall of the guy trying to sell you a dead chicken or something.

Wow, what great fucking memories.

Someone asked about bolding names in the last blog, here how:

[b]*name*[/b]

Just replace the brackets [] with the greater than/less than characters (sideways triangles, next to the ? on most US keyboards.
I actually learned that here since I asked the same question a few weeks ago.

Oh yeah, Stacy deserves an ion cannon blast to her face….

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 06/20/2006 11:47 AM

Ragnarok — Be that as it may, it still tasted terrible. And it wasn’t nearly as convenient to eat as I had imagined. I had thought it would be like a poultry corndog, but I wasn’t even close. It was kinda messy really. Kinda made me feel as if I had regressed just a bit into a neatherthal.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 06/20/2006 11:47 AM

Hooray for Disney Part 2! It was worth the wait.

Chestnuts roasted by Jon @ 06/20/2006 12:04 PM

I too have to give kudos for the photo of the Mickey toiletries in the hotel rooms…wow they really haven’t changed much! We used to bring home tons of that stuff… they actually had a pretty nice moistureizer in a little jar…I used to use it long after we got back from our trips!

Chestnuts roasted by m1928mouse @ 06/20/2006 12:05 PM

I was only able to watch Stacy up until the part when she said Mickey was her boy. And aren’t the Power Rangers a Toei thing,not Disney?

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 06/20/2006 12:26 PM

Amazing stuff, Matt! Thanks for all the work you’re putting into these Disney articles- you really deliver, and allow us all to live vicariously through your adventures. Thanks. You brought back a lot of memories.

I had an experience at Disney similar to what happened with you after the pineapples…We were TIRED of walking around the Magic Kingdom (We had travelled on a bus for 43 hours to get to Florida, arrived the night before and hit the Magic Kingdom on 3 hours sleep) SO, we took a break and sat down right across from Cinderella’s castle, on the curb. Next thing you know, the streets fill up and the goddamn parade goes by! I had forgotten all about the parade, and yet there I was, front and center…and Robin Hood (the fox) actually LEFT rank to come and kiss my hand when I yelled that I loved him…an unexpected moment, but maybe the best part of the day.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/20/2006 12:37 PM

My friends and I always drink in every country of the World Showcase. It’s pretty much the best part of the vacation. And I think PotC is closed so they can add Jack Sparrow… lame.

Chestnuts roasted by Jen Diff @ 06/20/2006 12:42 PM

Ok, all done. Best part: the Water Pageant. That’s Disney Magic for you, Matt. That’s why a lot of people (me included) would spend every single vacation of their lives there if they had the chance. No 2 times are the same, and you ALWAYS come home with a little story about a close Encounter of the Magic kind.
As for PotC, yeah, they’re adding 3 Jack Sparrows, 2 Barbosas and a Davey Jones fog. It is lame, but it could’ve been worse. It seems they’re doing it rather tastefully, so as not to upset the old-time fans.
Also, there was a Disney Adventures Magazine in one picture. Did that come with the room? I used to subscribe it back in the day when I was honing my English skills, but there were constant delays/no-shows, probably because some Brazilian mail worker dumbass kept stealing them, so I canceled it. Coincidentally, right after they changed the editorial staff and the thing got too "hip" for my tastes. I was in it for the comics anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 06/20/2006 12:57 PM

Kevin.! I love you for posting that picture! :D Mainly because it has Brer Fox on it, and he’s the one that made me laugh ALL night long after I read that story when I was just a tot. Mom couldn’t shut me up.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 06/20/2006 1:02 PM

Wow, I just managed to stick it out with that Stacy video for five minutes. Is that a record?

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/20/2006 1:54 PM

I didn’t know you WERE into Disney. YOu have no idea how much of a Disney park geek I am and how cool it is to see you reviewing these things

Chestnuts roasted by Dragonrider @ 06/20/2006 1:58 PM

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This entry was posted on Monday, June 19th, 2006 at 11:57 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.