X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com A Proud UGO Affiliate
My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

G Force Gushers!

Sheet, yo. It's the G Force Gushers, funked out with a gangsta twist.

Our vices grow lamer and less designer as we grow older; for me, it's become Gushers. Fruit snacks with gooey fruit sap inside. Freshen-Up gum without the gum. Good stuff, and has been for a long time. Notable for its advertising campaign featuring kids so empowered by Gushers snacks that their heads morph into oversized pieces of fruit, I've often looked to Gushers in my hour of need. They represent "feel good food." They look like little pricey jewels, but they're edible, and that makes you feel good. And now, they've taught me that the concept of "G Force" is visually represented by a pus-filled Staryu.

I'd put off trying the no-longer-so-new G Force Gushers sheerly out of loyalty to the originals, but I was high on crack while food shopping last night and decided, "what the hizzy?" Packaged in a box with weird art that's fairly absurd for a fruit snack brand, G Force Gushers are basically jumbo-sized regular Gushers, only this time, they're shaped like ninja stars. A bigger seller point comes by way of G Force Gusher's larger amount of inner fruit goo, which has a more watery consistency than the originals, is more vibrantly colored, and if you squeeze one of the candies, provides a sight undeniably akin to watching some fat ox pop an unripe boil on his forehead. Proof:

Gross as it looks, it still tastes neato. Like a piece of Starburst taking a messy shit down your throat.

Posted by Matt on 06/14/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 116 comments

1 3 4 5

Does anyone else remember the "Hairdini" from the mid ninties? That was a good one.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 06/17/2006 10:04 PM


Just went on the homepage and saw an ad for WorldVision to feed starving children in Africa. I checked the blog, then went back to the hopmepage and saw an ad for Weight Watchers, where you can lose weight without giving up the foods you love. How ironic.

Chestnuts roasted by Thomas @ 06/17/2006 10:49 PM


My post above should read "stinking" instead of "stinky." Sorry. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Hey I'm Jeff @ 06/17/2006 11:04 PM


I wanted a HairDini so bad! I had friends who owned them and was never able to make them work. Apparently if you http://www.hairdini.com/Index.html">tune in to QVC on Friday morning you’ll see them selling the NEW! HairDini 2 and the Teeni HairDini.
Thanks to a marathon on Fuse, I’ve just discovered what might be the greatest show every created: http://fuse.tv/upload/pantsoff.php">Pants-off Dance-Off. Highly recommended.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/17/2006 11:05 PM


Squee – the hulk does show up at the end of the infomercial on the ultimate grill website. Can I seriously cook SIX HULK BURGERS at ONCE?

One thing I never understood about the Magic Bullet group: what are they doing in that house together? They’ve obviously awakened after a night of partying, but they seem to have nothing in common. Is it some psycho, internet-based swinging get-together gone wrong?
Or is it so right…

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/17/2006 11:26 PM


it’s like radioactive candy!! Yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by yelinna @ 06/19/2006 12:19 PM


Did you ever see the Chef Tony using a knife to cut a hammer and then cut a tomato with ease!? And then later a Ronco production with a old guy who did the exact same routine, hole-in-the-cutting-board-that-leads-to-a-hidden-trash-can and all, who was very astonished that something costed "Tirteen Tirty Tree!?"

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Bluejeans @ 06/19/2006 2:14 AM


Oh oh! I remembered something! Doesn’t that red sorbet or whatever it is just make you want it so bad? Like not in a gay way but you just wanna bury your face in it’s chest and lose yourself there for days? It’s all DEEP DARK BLOOD red and you can just imagine it’s so damn strawberry-y and sweet… I wish they explained how they made it better or how they got it that color.

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Bluejeans @ 06/19/2006 2:19 AM


No but I think Tony Little needs to put down the crackpipe. I swear, when he is on late at night I can’t sleep. When I do close my eyes there is nothing but him and his god-damned Gazelle haunting my every attempt at slumber. Infomercials were cool until Tony Little. Now they just creep the bejesus out of me!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 06/19/2006 6:22 PM


Yeah I agree that one is frightening. He’s so hyped up and that poor blonde looks like she’s deciding whether or not to run off into the wilderness and escape his vile clutches. I could just see that hyperactive bastard suddenly pouncing on her and eating her throat, all the while explaining what a great workout he was getting.

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Bluejeans @ 06/19/2006 9:57 PM


Not to mention his little fashion faux paus with the pony tail sticking out of the back of his baseball cap!!!! How much more can this guy resemble a bag of douche? I swear he has the tightest shorts and shirt on already. They look like some X-tra small spandex dried on high heat for 8 cycles in a row. You can see his farts traveling down his thigh after they sneak out of his buttocks. Then there is the issue of a grown man whose speech decible meter is stuck on SCREAM LIKE YOUR BALLS HAVE BEEN REMOVED. Now to top it off, he ties his bleach blonde hair into one of the poofiest pony tails a man has ever donned, pulls it through the back of a non-fitted baseball cap, and packages it all up with a heaping dose of vein neck. (I hate vein-neck by the way) This guy is in the running with Richard Simmons for Scariest exercise guru of all time.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 06/26/2006 3:37 PM


YO i think these "snacks" taste like the sickest thing ever!!! i mean i had dogg crap once and it tasted better then this.
PS-EWWWWWWWWW!

Chestnuts roasted by peefsta @ 06/29/2006 7:54 PM


if anybody knows the cast of the commercial please send me it

Chestnuts roasted by kyle @ 06/30/2006 3:27 PM


"Like starbusts taking a shit down your throat". F’cking laughing my ass off on that one.

Chestnuts roasted by Lotta @ 07/11/2006 2:03 AM


hey can any one tell me the name of the dark curly haird boy in the gushers commercial

Chestnuts roasted by phae boo @ 08/24/2006 6:54 PM


1 3 4 5

Add A New Comment!