Me posting a new blog entry is not your invitation to stop posting in the Disney thread, got it? Okay. Now I can post.
Caught the season finale of The Sopranos last night, and you know, I'm going to be a dick for a minute: This season sucked. It really, really sucked. The series at large has progressively become trickier, confusing "doing the unexpected" with "not paying off ANYTHING it builds up" way too often. But we forgive it, because it's such a well-crafted and well-acted show, with characters that we've spent way too much time with to give up on. Still, this season was, to me, non-defendable. Almost all trails led to nowhere, and the longer arcs (Tony's dream sequences after getting shot, Vito's fate, etc.) were so off track that nobody really cared to follow down their trails to begin with. Fact is, fans were waiting way too long for new episode for them to deliver anything short of a dynamite season, and this was far from that. I'm not saying it's become the worst show in the history of its medium, but it's treaded so much water and wasted so much time that I can't possibly be a particularly proud participant. Artie may have scored a few points for the season by popularizing the phrase, "nonstop ass rape," but I can't justify spending those last precious weekend hours for months on a series that's completely lost sight of its own big picture. Or maybe I'm just pissed because Vito didn't rape Finn like the AICN guys told me he would. I mean, jeez, I had a fucking pool going at work for that.
My obsession with movie-branded 7-Eleven Slurpees continues with the chain's new Superman Returns Mountain Dew Slurpees. I was tipped off to their impending arrival a few months ago, actually; the studio's list of licensees is enormous, and while I doubt we'll see many things as cool as official Superman Slurpees, you can bet on enough new red and blue junk to give your spare bedroom a theme.
I can't say that the promotional push has made me any less apathetic towards Superman, but he's certainly in my thoughts more than ever, even if it's just by extension of thinking about soft drinks and new Cap'n Crunch cereal with Superman shield pieces. (Coming soon to the blog.) While X-Men: The Last Stand was only good enough to get character likenessesesesses on the cups for an otherwise unrelated Sunkist Orange Slurpee, Superman gets two new flavors all his own -- "Kryptonite Ice," and "Arctic Burst." Okay, so maybe "Arctic Burst" is more just a coincidence, but that's not how they're presenting it, so THANK YOU SUPERMAN! The signage is everywhere at 7-Eleven, and totally top notch. They're even hocking specially sized bags of guacamole "Kryptonite" Doritos, so for Superman fans who happen to be stoners, 7-Eleven is like, Heaven and Babylon and that stupid Star Trek Nexus place all rolled into one big tempting taquito.
There's a whole bunch of specialness in the cups, too. You can choose from "normal" picture cups that come with neat Superman lids, or for Slurpee drinkers of the more ultimate persuasion, a gigantic plastic THING shaped like Superman's logo that can be filled, drank, washed and kept for just 2.49.
I thought I was squirting myself a cup full of Kryptonite Ice, but turns out the machine had been mislabeled -- I was actually pouring myself a cup full of Arctic Burst, which would've pissed me off more if they actually had the other kind. No dice there, so I can't comment. As for Arctic Burst, it's really good. Picture a cross between a blue raspberry Slush Puppie and the mutant purple sludge that rests at the bottom of every ice cream truck's snowcone. Good stuff. If you're part of the 7-Eleven Slurpee subculture, and I swear it exists, don't wait until the movie's old news to try these. They're never as good by then.
Posted by Matt on 06/05/2006. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
Holy Crap, I’m first!
And I’m no fan of Slurpees, but the Superman stuff looks interesting as hell.